Chapter Seventeen
William had been striding back and forth in his library for the past hour. His eyes had been nervously darting between the bouquet of flowers he had selected from his garden and the clock on the mantelpiece. He needed to see Claudia more than he needed to breathe, but it was way too early still. Thank God he hadn’t resigned. That stupid inventory continued to give him an excuse to meet her in her house, never mind that he had been agonising about whether he could continue stealing from her now that there was… something between them.
The clock struck eight in the morning. He flung himself towards the entrance so quickly that he almost missed the small note that had been pushed under the door. He opened it with irritation, but his impatience turned to glee as he recognised the scrawled handwriting. Rabey! Rabey was back! Oh, thank God, thank God!
Campbell! Arrived yesterday morning early. Would have sent for you immediately but had my hands full. I’ll be at the embassy all day, but you MUST dine with me tonight. Do you have plans already? Cancel them . First, because I am your (only?) friend. Second, because I have someone over that I need to introduce you to. Third, because I ask you to.
‘Till later!
R.
Ah, good old Captain von Rabenstein. Cold like a statue on a tomb, mad like a dog, but he had never made him weigh his status. Not once. He treated him just as disdainfully as he treated everyone else.
Excellent. He would go see Claudia, try to spend some time with her—who knows, perhaps the whole day? Wouldn’t that be marvellous?—Then he’d go for dinner at Rabey’s next door. Fingers crossed, the “someone” Rabey mentioned in his message would withdraw early. He was desperate for his advice, and in no mood for polite conversation.
He looked at himself in the mirror one last time, grabbed Claudia’s flowers, and ran out into the glorious Roman sun.
***
‘Ultimately, I think my father is right about something.’ Claudia poured a cup of coffee for Moritz. ‘That this mess is my fault, and that it is up to me to sort it out. I knew what would happen if my past became public. Which is why I was so cautious. It is only right that I pay the price for it in one way or another.’
‘Maybe.’ Moritz pushed the plate of biscuits towards her gruffly. ‘But let’s not forget…men take lovers all the time...and it is just seen as…natural. It has no consequence…for their lives…They get a pat on the back for it…You did nothing more or nothing less…than what every man does…’
‘Not every man,’ she said thinking of William.
‘Well, no. I don’t. But I am a lunatic…so that doesn’t count.’
‘ Never say that about yourself.’
Moritz shrugged.
She pressed her fingers to her brow, trying to think.
‘I’m only worried that if Edward says what he knows about me, the shelter will be endangered. Who will want to donate to my shelter if there’s a scandal? And my family…no matter what happened between us, they do not deserve to suffer for my actions.’
‘It’s your pity they don’t deserve.’ His eye burned with fury. ‘I saw how St Cross reduced you…I’ve seen lighter injuries on the battlefield! And they’d marry you…to the man who did that to you!’
‘I could hand over the shelter to Sophie. Then run away. Disappear and start a new life somewhere else entirely. An honest life. No more lies. I am not scared of working hard, I would find a way to support myself.’
‘You could come to Austria with me…’ he said cautiously. ‘You would always have a home with us…’
‘I am so grateful for that. I know I can always turn to you. But I need to think this over. It may well be that the solution is much simpler, and I am just not seeing it yet.’
‘What about marriage? Not with me...’ He hastened to add. ‘With a good man…one who will look after you…and give you what you need. Marriage would secure your position…and if there are rumours, they would eventually die down…’
‘I don’t know. I wouldn’t want to tie to me a man I cannot love.’
‘But what if it was someone…you could fall in love with?’
‘What are you trying to say?’
‘There’s someone…I’d like to introduce to you…Someone I’ve grown very close with…over the last year in Rome. I’ve taken the liberty…of inviting him for dinner tonight.’
It was one of her concerns that Moritz didn’t have any friends except for her, so that came as a bit of a surprise. A good surprise, for once.
‘Oh, I think I know who you mean. That gentleman who comes over every week to play chess when you are in Rome?’
‘Yes, him…We play chess every Wednesday…or whenever we cannot sleep…He’s an excellent fellow…smart…ambitious… caring …’ he uttered the word almost contemptuously, ‘and, so Adela and Lorenz tell me, handsome. So handsome that those two…are constantly drooling after him…when he’s here. It’s embarrassing…frankly.’
Her jaw dropped a little.
‘Moritz? Is this you? You’ve never spoken so highly of anyone.’
‘You haven’t heard me speak about you.’
‘What about this friend? And what’s he called again? Mr…’
‘Mr Campbell. Mr William Campbell.’
She froze.
‘What’s that, Klaudi?’
‘The antiquarian?’
‘Yes.’
‘It’s just…He’s working for my father at the moment. He’s drawing up an inventory of some Roman golds my father found. His brother Eric married Iris while you were away.’
She stopped short of saying that he was the man who had sent the flowers yesterday—and what they had been up to for the past weeks. But it all felt too raw and uncertain, especially now.
‘I’d very much like it…if you got to know him…I think you’d get along…’ He hesitated for a moment. ‘But first tell me…tell me…has he…’
His voice deserted him. He drank angrily and took out his notebook.
I think you would get along wonderfully. You’ll see for yourself tonight. But I’d like to make sure of something first. You say he has been working with some precious objects. Can I just ask—has he been wooing you?
‘What kind of question is that?’ She flushed.
He rolled his eye and pointed at the sentence again.
‘What? He flirts a bit. Well, a lot. Listen, Moritz, if there’s something I need to know, this is the moment.’
Moritz seemed to struggle with a thought for a second. Then he wrote on.
Campbell is a bit of a thief. Very good at it, if you ask me. People are blinded by his handsome face. Flatters them. Lowers their guard. Gets into their homes. Then robs them blind.
Her heart hammered against her ribcage.
No.
No. No. No.
There was a silent cry, like a drop of fear growing larger and larger until there was nothing else left in her but that sound flooding her soul.
‘Moritz,’ her mouth was trembling. ‘Are you sure of what you’re saying?’
He nodded and scribbled on.
Caught him stealing from us a year ago or so. He pursued Sister relentlessly until she invited him for dinner. Didn’t give a damn about her (hence he’s still alive). He was after my father’s antiques. Happily gave them to him. Good riddance . He does it all the time.
She stopped reading. Every word was a little sharp blade nipping through the delicate flesh of her heart, a minuscule cut opening up and bleeding. Tears clouded her eyes, and she knew it was all true. How had she not seen it? Edmund Campbell had said it himself, when he had told her that he knew nothing of some artefacts. She had completely forgotten it in the excitement of that night.
But could it really be all a ploy? A cunning plan to steal from her? Her whole being rejected the idea. Everything he may have said may have been a lie, but he had sobbed like a boy just because their bodies had touched. His eyes had been full of happiness and trust. Surely, surely he couldn’t feign that ?
Moritz urgently pointed to the last sentences he had written.
Thieving aside, EXCELLENT fellow—husband material, would warmly recommend ! I just thought you should know, because I don’t give a damn who he lies to, as long as he’s not lying to YOU . You’ll get along tonight, you’ll see.
‘Is this a joke? First you tell me that he is a thief, then that he is…’ She took the notebook from him, incredulously. ‘Husband material?! Warmly recommend !?’
‘Who says a thief…can’t be a good—’
Betty rushed in.
‘Good morning my lady. My lord. Mr Campbell is in your father’s study. You may want to come over, my lady. Your father doesn’t like leaving him alone with the artefacts.’
‘Talk of the devil!’ She stood angrily and rapped her fingers on the table. ‘Well, I’ll need to have a word with him now.’
Moritz put a hand on her shoulder, alarmed.
‘No! So what…if he steals your things, Klaudi? Don’t—don’t— Verdammt! ’
He growled and scribbled in his notebook again.
So what if he steals? Don’t we have enough gold? We’re basking in the bloody thing, doesn’t make us a fraction happier. Doesn’t help us forget anything . Leave him alone to earn his living how he pleases. Don’t tell him I told you, please . He admitted all this to me freely. He’s my only friend when you’re not here. Wouldn’t have told you if I hadn’t just suggested him as a possible—
She stopped reading.
‘It’s not about the gold, Moritz.’
No, the gold was dust to her. But what they had experienced together, that was invaluable. And if it had all been a lie…
‘Then what is it about?’
‘Campbell is family , Moritz!’ The last thing she wanted Moritz to know was that she had let William Campbell take her for a ride. ‘Father entrusted him with some precious Roman artefacts because—it’s too long a story, I’ll tell you later. If he has been taking from us, he has betrayed my family’s trust. He has betrayed his brother and Iris. And me .’
‘Klaudi, please— ’
‘Forgive me, Moritz, but this is enough. I need to have a word with him.’
Her heart pounding in her throat, she ran out into the garden and through the door connecting their homes.
***
She’s here .
He would recognise the resolute sound of her steps among a million others. Claudia appeared in the room, and the utter joy that spread to every corner of his body almost left him breathless for its intensity.
‘Darling!’
He dropped his quill and ran to wrap his arms around her.
‘I’ve been waiting to see you. It has felt like an eternity.’ He fluttered a kiss on her lips, but she flinched. Her grey eyes were worried.
A vague panic gripped his throat.
‘Claudia? Did anything happen? Did St Cross—’
‘William.’ She inhaled deeply, taking his hands in hers. Her eyes flitted all over his face. ‘I need to ask you a question. If what happened between us meant anything to you, I need you to tell me the truth.’
A cold sweat ran down his back.
‘Anything.’
‘William.’ Their fingers interlocked. ‘I asked you a question the other night, but you did not reply. What is it that you want from the women you woo?’
And in that moment, he knew that she knew . How, he could not know, because only Ed and Rabey knew what he got up to. But there was no doubt about it. She knew that he had been stealing from her.
He swallowed.
‘Claudia. I do not care for them. I just—I—damn it! I’ve been stealing from them. Stealing precious artefacts and selling them to whoever offers me the most. When I catch wind that there is something of importance somewhere, I…I flatter my way in.’
The panic that filled her eyes almost made him wince with pain.
‘William,’ she swallowed. ‘Is this what you have been doing with me? Have you been stealing from me?’
There was no point in lying. He couldn’t trust his voice not to shake. And she saw right through him anyway. His eyes narrowed, and he said nothing.
Her lower lip trembled pitifully. It was like having his heart wrenched out.
‘So this is what you wanted from me,’ she said quietly, her eyes glazed over. ‘I’d been wondering why you were teasing me and flattering me…why you were so good to me…’
‘Darling, no!’ He grabbed her hand, but it was limp and cold in his. ‘Yes, I’ve been stealing from you. And it is true, at the beginning I thought I would earn your trust and lower your guard. Guess what, that stupid plan didn’t last beyond the first day I spent with you. You turned the tables on me and within days I was hanging from your every word.’
She was not listening.
‘So they were all lies, weren’t they? Lies designed to lower my guard, and why, maybe get to have some fun with me as well.’
‘What—my darling, no!’
‘—that you had never slept with a woman…that you just wanted to look after me…’ her hands trembled too now. ‘And I believed you, William! I believed every word!'
‘Those were not lies! I have stolen from you, yes, that I did. Because a man is no one in this world unless he has a fortune at his disposal.’ He swallowed and took her hand in his. ‘All my life I’ve wanted to make it. To be someone. To be rich, to earn the respect of people like you.’
‘You are respected! You are admired! You could have anyone at your feet—’
‘It is not enough, Claudia!’ He interrupted her, because it was terrifying to think that he had hurt her for the sake of something that sounded increasingly shallow and pointless. ‘Do you think one can get rich by selling Roman pottery? I—I discovered that what your father has chanced upon is a legendary treasure. A collector offered me a fortune for just a couple of pieces. It was my chance! So I took from you. But since I started getting to know you…I have barely been able to think about my plans. You occupy my every thought, all of the time.’ Her eyes filled with tears. ‘I have the artefacts still, Claudia. I haven’t sold them on. I—I’ll give them back to you. I don’t need them if this is the price to pay. I just want things to be good between us—’
‘No, no, no.’ She shook her head. She reached for his face and placed her palm on his cheek. ‘Those artefacts are yours, Will. They are my gift to you for what you gave me. Even though you did not mean it.’
‘Claudia, please—’
Tears streamed down her face.
‘Go and fulfil your dream. Only—’ she withdrew her hand, inhaling deeply. ‘I never want to see you again.’
‘Claudia—’
‘Farewell. I hope it was worth it.’
She turned from him and left.
Her sobs echoing in the corridor were the sound of his heart shattering into a million, billion pieces.
***
Claudia collapsed on her bed, shaken by sobs.
Fool. Idiot. Fool!
What exactly had made her think that this sort of thing was for her? That she deserved the sort of romance that was all gentleness and softness and care, and feather-light kisses that took her breath away? That she deserved better than titled men who wanted her for the size of her dowry? She should have stuck with what she knew so well—incidentally, the very thing that now threatened to bring down her and her family with her: falling asleep next to a stranger and disappearing the next morning, steeling herself to get into the fray again.
But I am not made of steel .
I am not made of steel.
She kept on repeating it to herself as though it could excuse her appalling weakness, as though it could justify the fact that she had believed a rake’s lies like a wide-eyed debutante. Ah, it was revolting, crying over such a trifle when she was lucky to be alive, when her guests were fighting every day. It had all been her own doing! But it hurt, it hurt!
It was dark already and the candle had long fizzled out when Moritz returned from the embassy and appeared in the doorway, pale and grim.
‘Klaudi…What is it, Klaudi? Surely this cannot be…about what I told you earlier?’
‘No—No, it is not. It is about the man who sent the flowers. And I am an idiot. I am sorry I—’
Her voice broke.
Moritz sat down next to her, quietly, and he pulled her to his chest. But though Moritz was the person who was dearest to her in this world, and they had held each other like that a million times before, she could not help thinking about what it had felt like to be held by William. In William’s arms she had found a place where she fully belonged. The place where she was meant to be all along.
Fool.
She had been such a fool.