Chapter Eighteen
There had been many awful nights in William’s life. But aside from the night his mother died, those after Claudia turned him away were the worst by far. Because they had not come in a life of pain and struggle, where his curses were the only things he would chew in his mouth some days. They had rained down on him like a storm in an otherwise safe and comfortable existence.
He had spent the past days loitering around his warehouse, completely unable to work but apparently perfectly capable of getting on everyone’s nerves. Eventually, Mr Rayner had taken him aside and told him in no unclear terms that either he left of his own accord, or he’d bundle him up and carry him home himself. William had politely declined the bundling up and speedily left the premises. Which perhaps was for the best, as he had found Georg waiting for him, bringing an urgent message from his master. In the state he was in, he had not been able to bring himself to go see Rabey yet. No doubt Rabey was getting impatient. He anxiously opened the message.
Are you angry with me or something? Are you too busy stealing from the Ambassador’s wife? Are you unwell? Should I be worried? Did you do something stupid and you know I’ll ferret it out? As you can see, I HAVE QUESTIONS ! I am not going to the Embassy today. I demand you come see me for tea RIGHT NOW. You better have some good news because I’m in a terrible mood . Should you refuse, Georg is instructed to physically transport you here.
R.
William eyed trusty Gregor. The man must be in his sixties, but he was approximately the size of a wardrobe. It was better not to risk it. He followed him to Rabey’s palazzo , where he found his friend sleeping in the small parlour.
Now, that was something worth watching. The old insomniac, fast asleep. He had always assumed that Rabey slept in the family crypt, all wrapped in the cloak of his uniform like a mummy or a bat. Instead, he was sleeping peacefully like an angel… smiling?
What had happened to him? Rabenstein never smiled. In fact, he had only about four facial expressions: indifference, disdain, boredom and…no, come to think of it, it was only three.
Rabenstein opened his eye and for a second seemed rather perplexed. Which, just like smiling, did not belong to his repertoire.
‘Now that’s odd,’ Rabenstein hissed. ‘When I fell asleep there was a woman sitting right there.’ He turned disdainful. ‘And now I wake up to your ugly face.’
‘A woman? In your life? You must have dreamt of her, my friend. And hello, Rabey, I am happy to see you too.’
‘Don’t you ever, ever , dare call me Rabey again!’ He hissed icily as he propped himself up. Then, ever the Austrian officer, he bowed stiffly from the settee. ‘Well met, Campbell…You look absolutely terrible.’
‘You don’t look much better,’ he tried to sound breezy, but Rabey did look unwell.
Rabey fumbled for his notebook, scribbled furiously, and handed it to him.
‘Let’s see. On horseback all night for days. Back is killing me still. Wouldn’t want to be you, Rabenstein. What else? So glad to see you, take tea here with me, can’t sit up? Yes, I would very much like to have tea with you here. Talk to Cook, please. No other staff in the house, only Georg and Cook. A guest staying with me for a couple of days. Commiserations to them. Brother and Sister almost in Rome, but not yet—thank God! And…something something, peace and quiet, underlined, several exclamation marks.’ He looked up. ‘What about peace and quiet, underlined?’
‘I need some peace and quiet!’ He hissed. ‘I’ve been dealing with a suspected case of heartbreak.’
What a Rabenstein thing to say.
‘ You , Rabey? A heartbreak?’
‘Not mine. A friend’s. And it’s Rabenstein !’
‘Since when do you have another friend?’
‘Very funny, Campbell. Now, will you go and talk to Cook…or would you prefer I crawl…to the kitchen myself?’
‘I’d love to watch you crawl, Rabenstein. If only because you’re the only person who ever caught me red-handed. But I am feeling generous today.’
William headed to the kitchens to have tea served. Then he searched the nearby rooms for a couple of pillows and brought them to the small parlour.
‘Hey, Rabey!’ He showed the pillows. ‘Catch!’
He threw them at him.
There was a second in which time dilated and Rabey looked utterly appalled. Then he furiously caught the pillows, his mouth opening and closing as if he did not know where to begin to react to the indignity.
‘ F-first , I am n-not an invalid, C-Campbell!’ He hissed. ‘S-second, how—how d-dare you!? T-third n-never, ever dare call me R-Rabey again!’
‘I wish you had written that one down in your notebook. You would have had to come up with some wholly new punctuation to render it.’
Rabenstein snorted and made to place his pillows behind him, but he winced in pain. William promptly took them from him.
‘ Don’t you dare, Campbell! ’
‘Don’t you dare what?’ He plumped up the pillows and placed them against the arm of the settee so he could sit up a bit. ‘ Don’t you dare plump up those pillows, Campbell ’ he imitated his icy hiss, pointing a finger at him, ‘ I may start thinking that the world is not as cruel and violent as I think it is. It all begins with allowing a friend to plump up a pillow. The next thing I know I will be merrily hopping across a cornfield, singing under a rainbow. God forbid I accept a bit of care and affection from someone who loves me!’
Rabenstein’s jaw dropped.
Poor, uptight Rabey. He had certainly not inherited a sense of humour from his English mother. His reactions were the very reason why he couldn’t help taking the piss. But it hadn’t dawned on Rabey yet.
‘Come on, Rabey. It’s a cruel world out there. One needs to hold onto the good things, yes?’
‘If you say so,’ he grumbled. He angrily gestured at the armchair, as though sending it to Hell. ‘Take a seat, Campbell…What’s new? You really do not look well.’
Claudia’s absence weighed oppressively on his every fibre, stretching it like a string.
‘Yes. So—I am not well. In fact, Rabey, I think you need to get me to see some sense.’
‘It’s one of the few joys left in my life.’
‘I won’t skirt around it. I’m in trouble because of a woman.’
Rabenstein scoffed.
‘Don’t tell me you’re heartbroken too…because I am utterly useless. Turns out all I can do…is sit and nod sympathetically.’
‘Really? You can do sympathy?’
‘Sure. Look.’
Rabey looked as disdainful and fierce as always.
‘Damn, Rabey. That really makes me want to open my heart to you.’
‘Enough nonsense…What happened with this woman? What’s she called?’
‘Er…Lucille.’
Lucille? Where had that come from?
‘Lucille. Right.’
‘So. I...er…I wanted to earn Lucille’s trust to steal some precious Roman artefacts from her, except—something went terribly wrong. As wrong as it could have possibly gone.’
‘Let me guess.’ Rabenstein looked thoroughly amused. ‘You tried your usual tricks…You tried to flatter her….charm her. And this time…you fell into your own trap.’
‘I do object to this crude portrayal!’
‘But is it accurate?’
‘Yes,’ he admitted reluctantly. ‘The substance is accurate, yes. Fell right into it. Headfirst.’
Rabey emitted a choked gurgling sound.
‘That’s funny.’
‘No, Rabey, it’s not funny at all! In fact, it’s pretty damn serious. I…I think about her all the time. I admire her. She needed help, and I did whatever I could to look after her. I even slept with her, for Heaven’s sake!’ Rabenstein turned crimson, which was quite a sight. ‘ Me! In bed with a woman! Can you imagine that?’
‘I’d rather not.’
‘And she…she makes me feel cared for. And heard. And accepted as I am. In short, she is perfect.’
‘You do know what you are saying, yes, Campbell?’
‘I am saying that I am an idiot.’
‘No.’ Rabenstein sniggered, his eye glinting with perverse pleasure. ‘You are saying that you are besotted !’
‘I am not besotted!’ He protested, but it almost felt liberating to finally put a word on it.
Oh God. Besotted.
‘Fine. You are besotted. Nothing wrong with that.’
‘No, plenty wrong with that! Because here’s what happened next. Two days ago, I have no idea how, probably because I’m so besotted that I must have been careless, she found out that I’ve been stealing from her.’ Rabenstein’s jaw dropped the tiniest bit. Today his friend really was a flurry of emotion. ‘I confessed. And now she never wants to see me again. Why, I even offered to give her all her artefacts back, and she said she doesn’t want them. She says I should just go on and fulfil my dream, but never step foot in her house again. I’m sorry Rabey are you—is that a smirk on your face? Does it make you happy to see me this miserable?’
‘No. Not at all. I just realised something.’
‘Well, maybe if you had ever had your heart broken, you’d be a little more sympathetic.’
Rabenstein lost all his smugness.
He looked away and was silent for the longest time.
‘Rabey?’
He did not say anything.
‘Don’t tell me you had your heart broken too. Who could have possibly broken that little cave of icicles you have instead of a heart?’
For some reason, though nothing changed on his face, he knew that Rabenstein was observing him closely and scrutinising his every reaction.
‘Do you know the Fitzwilliams next door, Campbell?’
Shit.
‘Yes. I have been working for the Earl these days.’
‘You must have met his daughter?’
No. No. No. No. No.
‘Lady Claudia?’
Rabey nodded solemnly.
Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit.
Of course! It all made sense now! That’s how Claudia knew that he had been stealing! Rabey must have warned her. She was the ‘Klaudi’ he always blushed about, and he was the old “friend” who had crossed a whole continent for her, to bring her to Austria. The beast who had prevented anyone from approaching her. Who had fed her and washed her and—
There was a sensation violent, dramatic, and unavoidable like the crashing of a wave against a cliff.
Jealousy .
Brilliant. Not only had he screwed up his chance with Claudia. Now he also had a rival who was a fantastically rich, titled war hero who enjoyed her blind trust. The only way this was going to get any worse was if it turned out that they had been lovers. Or if Claudia had told Rabey that there had been something between the two of them, and he had betrayed her trust by stealing from her. The latter didn’t seem to be the case, because otherwise Rabey would have festooned his palazzo with his entrails already.
‘Known her forever,’ Rabey whispered. ‘Since we were children.’ He paused for a moment, breathing. ‘…Head over heels…Composed music for her…the whole thing.’
‘Did she return your feelings?’ He asked a bit too quickly.
‘Oh, no. Never did.’
Oh, thank God, thank God!
But Rabey looked so forlorn that he almost felt sorry for him. Still, that was good news. The last thing he needed in that whole mess was a rival who walked around armed for a living. But before he could stop himself, he had already blurted out the next words.
‘Were you ever—uh—’ he swallowed. ‘Lovers?’
‘Are you asking me…whether I slept with her, Campbell?’
‘Crude.’
‘Mmm. Over the years…at times…’
‘And you—you love her still, don’t you?’
Rabey averted his gaze furiously and blushed to the tips of his ears.
It was a yes.
Ah, so things could get worse! So much worse! He wanted to disappear. Travel to a foreign country where nobody knew him and begin anew.
‘She doesn’t know about it…and I don’t want to talk about this, Campbell…This is in the past now.’ Rabey scrutinised his face attentively. ‘Everyone we love has a past, you know?…No matter how much we wish…they began existing the day we met them.’
Why was Rabey telling him this now? Or was he saying that to himself?
‘We only are pure and clean when we come into this world…After that, we are all our history…our failures…our sins…’
‘And the good things too, Rabey,’ he said softly.
‘Yes,’ he smiled a bit. ‘You are right…the good things too.’
Rabey wiped a hand over his eye. It was a little too shiny.
Oh, Rabey!
‘Bah. Getting sentimental. Listen…speaking of Lady Claudia…I’ve been thinking of finding her a husband…someone who can make her happy…and I was half thinking about you .’
The water he was drinking went down the wrong way. He began coughing so hard that his eyes wept.
‘M-me, Rabey!? What do I have to do with all of this?’
‘Why don’t you dine…with Klaudi and me tonight?’ Rabenstein ignored his question. ‘I think you’d get along wonderfully…if you can both get along with me. She reminds me of you…in many ways…’ Again, he had the impression that he was being watched closely. ‘Have you ever thought about marriage, Campbell?’
Marriage? Well, of course he had thought he’d get married someday, although he had rather lost hope of finding someone he would trust and like sufficiently to want to spend the rest of his life with them. But it had always seemed like a distant dream, even more so if the woman in question was unattainable Lady Claudia Fitzwilliam.
‘Listen Campbell…she’ll stay here with me for a few weeks…perhaps you’d like to use the opportunity…to get to know her?’
‘I—I don’t even know where to begin. But first, why is she even staying here? Doesn’t she live next door?’
‘It’s a long story. It’s for her safety…So, will you dine with us tonight?’
‘I am afraid it’s impossible.’
‘Why?’
Because she doesn’t want to see me!
‘Because I’m too busy suffering for Lucille.’
‘Fine…’ Rabey waved his fine hand in the air. ‘What are you…going to do about Lucille?’
‘Nothing. What should I do? She hates me now, and with good reason. Even if I regained her trust, it’s all completely hopeless. You have no idea how rich and powerful she is. I am the last person on earth—’
Rabenstein made an irritated gesture, asking for silence.
‘Does she return your feelings?’
Why don’t you find out for me?
‘I don’t know. I think she likes me. Say she does. Which is why she is so hurt.’
‘Then it’s easy.’ Rabenstein shrugged. ‘Apologise profusely. Make her understand you care…find happiness with her…Done.’
‘Done? Do you think this is the kind of thing one can solve with your military logic? Lucille is fully and entirely out of my league! First, she could marry a prince and I don’t have a title,’ he counted on his fingers, ‘second, she is fantastically rich, and I am just about well-off. Third, her family despises me—I heard them say so myself. Fourth, the woman is formidable, she is experienced with men, she has a meaningful and busy life, and she’ll get tired of a pointless fool like me anyway. In short, the whole thing is doomed. And you are supposed to tell me that I should forget about her.’
‘Why?’ Rabenstein rested on the pillows, wincing. ‘Stealing aside, you’re a decent man. Ambitious. Resourceful. Sensitive.’ He swallowed. He sounded a little envious. ‘Handsome. Lady Claudia would be lucky to have you…you just need to reassure her…that you didn’t just use her…to get your hands on the Roman golds…she is so very hurt…’
‘Why, Rabey, thank you. I’d embrace you if you—’
Shit.
He looked up. Rabenstein crossed his arms, terribly amused.
‘Rabenstein, you sneaky bastard!’
‘Looks like I caught out…William Campbell… again …oh you are besotted…so very besotted!’
‘Did she tell you about me?’
‘Oh, she did…she’s been crying about this mysterious “Aloysius”…for days now...And I didn’t put two and two together…until you came in…’
‘And yet you toyed with me!’
‘Serves you well for lying to me! Now listen on…Her family…her status…those are just obstacles .’ Rabey waved his hand dismissively. ‘What matters…is what you feel for each other. So, Campbell, think about it…Give her a bit of time…and to yourself…and if you believe…you do truly care for her…’ his whispers were becoming more and more fatigued. He was quiet for a moment. Then he bowed. ‘You will have me on your side.’
‘R-right. Why, thank you, you are a friend Rabey. Even though that’s not what I had expected you would say. Still, are you sure that’s what you want? Because of your feelings, I mean…’
‘My… feelings ,’ he uttered the word with disgust, as if he was talking of something vile, ‘are of no consequence…There will be no more mention of this…’
‘Understood.’
William leaned back in his armchair with a sigh. For a moment he was deep in thought.
‘I should give back those artefacts, shouldn’t I? It’s hard though. They are worth a fortune. I have wanted this so bad. But it doesn’t feel right. Yes, you know when something just doesn’t feel right?’
Rabenstein rolled his eye and scribbled on his little notebook.
It may be that you two have a future together. It may be that you do not. So you can’t take such an important decision for her. If it’s the wrong one, you’ll blame her and yourself for the rest of your life. Take responsibility!!!
‘This is so…right. How come you are always so sensible?’
Do you have any idea what it costs me to talk? I only do it when I have something to say. Turns out it sharpens the mind too.
‘Have you ever considered replying to Lady Claudia’s readers? Why, you should have your own advice column!’
‘My sister tells me I lack empathy…and I tend to scare women…there’s that too.’
‘Glacial and fierce happens to have a certain appeal among some women though.’
‘You’re not the first to tell me, Campbell.’ For some reason, Rabey was looking at him with a knowing smirk. ‘No, you’re not the first.’