Chapter Twenty-Seven
I unfold the tiny tissue that came with my cocktail. Then I refold it again. Then I use it to mop up the liquid ring left by the glass on the table. I pick up my drink and take a sip. It leaves another wet ring on the table so this time I use the napkin to dry the bottom of the glass, too.
Oh god, I’m super nervous.
‘Hiya.’ At the sound of the greeting, I look up. Mikey’s handsome face smiles back nervously. He looks as scared as me.
This is our first attempt at a sort-of date. Our last two meetings have both been fairly spontaneous and random, with all sorts of people around us acting as a buffer.
I thought for sure he’d want nothing more to do with me after he and Shawn fell out the other night. I was so embarrassed and was composing a huge apology text the next day, when the doorbell rang and there were flowers on my doorstep from Mikey, with a note asking me to meet him.
Sonali kept winking at me about that final prediction. That soulmate one. But that’s her, not me! I am definitely not thinking like that right now. It’s all too soon after Daniel. I mean, I have only just realized I don’t want to get back with him! I haven’t even told him that fact yet!
Actually, I haven’t heard from him since the party; I don’t think he much liked seeing me with Mikey.
Or Zach for that matter.
I stand up and Mikey hugs me, holding on for a fraction of a second too long as I melt into him. God, he smells lovely. I want to stay there in his arms all evening but he eventually pulls away.
‘You look stunning,’ he says appreciatively, and then leans in to kiss me on the cheek. My whole body reacts.
‘Let’s get you a drink!’ I say, my breath shallow as I try not to make it too obvious what an effect he has on me.
‘Sit down, I’ll get it,’ he smiles and I do so with relief. My legs are all wobbly.
He’s gone a while, trying to get served at the heaving bar. It’s Christmas in a week and London is out in force with office dos, mistletoe wielded in every direction as a weapon. There are groups of people in suits all around me wearing Santa hats, and at least a dozen more in awful festive jumpers. Tinsel and fairy lights have lit up the city, but I find I’m dreading the whole thing. I feel unprepared for the year to end.
In part, because in January I officially start at the new store.
Mikey returns at last with drinks for us both and sits heavily.
‘I’m so sorry about the other night,’ he begins anxiously, searching my face.
‘Don’t say sorry!’ I cry, outraged that he feels so bad. ‘Shawn seems to start arguments wherever he goes.’ I shake my head. ‘To be honest, I don’t even know what it was about.’
Mikey’s shoulders relax a little, but his voice is still worried. ‘It was so stupid, just me trying to be funny. He takes everything so seriously.’ He pauses. ‘You know what I’m like, don’t you? You know it was just a joke?’
‘Yes, of course.’
‘Whatever he says, I was just messing about, being silly.’
‘I get it.’ I try to sound reassuring but feel a bit uneasy. He seems so concerned. I don’t remember Mikey being so bothered by what other people thought before. Was there more to it?
‘It’s just…’ he begins, looking down at his drink. ‘It’s just that I really like you.’
Oh.
He takes a deep breath. ‘I don’t want some stupid comment Shawn might make a big deal over to ruin what we could have. I really like you.’
I can feel myself smiling, hard. He likes me.
‘I like you, too,’ I tell him shyly. ‘Please don’t worry about Shawn – I’m going to talk to Toni about him. She really can do so much better.’
He grins, tucking hair behind his ear and taking my hand as we change the subject.
Conversation flows easily as we cover work, friends, the ridiculous things we saw while on mushrooms, the times we had in our early twenties when we last dated. It’s lovely and easy. It always is with Mikey.
I get drunk quickly on the cocktails and his compliments, so when he moves his chair closer to kiss me, I kiss him back hungrily. I don’t care who’s watching.
‘Come home with me,’ he pulls back, speaking with urgency, almost panting. I nod, unable to speak as we gather our coats and run outside. He’s ordered an Uber within seconds and the Ford Mondeo pulls up only two minutes later. We climb in, laughing and touching.
As we move off, my phone buzzes. Glancing at it, my stomach turns over at the sight of Toni’s name.
I still haven’t spoken to her about Shawn. Or seen her, for that matter. She said she’d be back at Celeste’s that same day, but there was no sign of her. I messaged her again yesterday and she said she’d be back today, but she still wasn’t back by the time I left a few hours ago.
Hey, where are you? I’m home xxxxx
Of course she is. The first time I’m out for the night, she’s back.
Sorry, I’m out with Mikey. You around tomoz? Xxxxx
Her reply is instant.
You’re still seeing Mikey? After what happened? xx
Wow, only two kisses, she is furious. Furious about what? Hmm, I guess Shawn will have his side of the story, which will be that Mikey was horrible and cruel. Of course Toni’s taken Shawn’s side.
Maybe Mikey was meaner than he let on?
I glance over at him now, on the other side of the car, looking out at the passing London landscape lit up by festive lights, while holding tightly to my hand between us.
No way. We’ve already seen so much evidence of Shawn’s awfulness, and his tendency to massively overreact and start fights.
I suddenly feel cross. Toni’s trying to tell me who I should and shouldn’t be seeing, while she’s dating one of the worst men on Planet Earth! She’s my little sister – she should be listening to me. I shouldn’t have to listen to her!
I reply, feeling Myfanwy’s strength in my fingers.
Yes, of course. We can talk about it tomorrow but Shawn should really apologize. Mikey was joking. I don’t want to upset you, sorry. Xx
OK, it’s probably not very Myfanwy in its tone, but that’s as strong as I’m capable of being, even after five cocktails.
My heart pounds as she replies fast. I don’t want to look.
I’m not upset, Gin, but that’s not what happened. Can you come home so we can talk? I think you should hear Shawn out. He’s here with me xx
Ugh, Shawn’s there with her. I re-read the message, my brow furrowing. What does that mean? So he doesn’t think Mikey was joking? Obviously he doesn’t, otherwise he wouldn’t have reacted so badly. But that doesn’t mean Mikey was at fault.
She messages again.
Please xxxxxxxxxxx
I let go of Mikey’s hand, suddenly feeling intensely cold and unsexy. He glances over at me in surprise.
‘You OK?’ he says, registering my face. I shake my head.
‘I’ve just had a bit of an argument with my sister on text.’
‘Oh shit.’ He shuffles as close as the seatbelt will allow. ‘I’m sorry, that’s horrible. Do you want to talk about it?’
See? He’s so nice. Maybe I should just ignore Toni’s message, try to forget it and go have an amazing night with Mikey. I can deal with the fallout of Shawn’s crap tomorrow.
I re-read her last message.
Please xxxxxxxxxxx
I sigh heavily. ‘I’m really sorry, Mikey, but do you mind if I head home? I need to talk to her and I won’t be able to have fun tonight with that weighing on me.’
His face falls but he recovers quickly. ‘Yeah, of course.’ He pauses. ‘Are you sure though? I could really cheer you up, y’know? Take your mind off it, and she’ll still be around tomorrow?’ He smiles cheekily and I giggle.
‘It’s tempting, but I don’t think I’d be able to give you my full attention.’ I smile bashfully. ‘And I really want to. Can we pick this up later in the week?’
‘Sure,’ he smiles sadly, before leaning forward to redirect our driver.
Minutes later I’m outside my mum’s house and he leaps out to hug me goodbye. ‘Wow,’ he says, taking in the tall Edwardian building surrounded by elegant fencing. ‘Your mum’s house is amazing.’
I nod, embarrassed. It is beautiful, but it’s not my home. I would do almost anything to be living somewhere else, in my own space.
‘I’ll message you tomorrow,’ I promise as I chastely kiss him on the cheek and hurry inside. Time to face the music. And Shawn. Ugh.