Chapter Forty-Three
‘Oh darling, don’t worry about it!’ Celeste is saying into her phone. ‘Not a second thought, I insist! It’s not a problem at all. You are an angel with diamond wings who can do no wrong as far as I’m concerned, my sweet!’ She pauses. ‘Darling, let me put you on hold, I just need to make a note of something.’ She jabs a finger at her phone and then turns to face the room where me, Myfanwy and Sonali are sprawled around the living room in various states of undress, enjoying a celebratory sleepover in honour of their big engagement news.
‘What a CUNT!’ Celeste is wild-eyed as she waves her mobile at us. ‘This stupid prick on the phone has sent out our engagement concierge press release with a huge typo! It was his job to proof it before it went out. He had one job, the stupid twat! I’m going to have him fired so hard. I’m not just going to have him fired from his job, I’m going to have him loaded into a fucking cannon and fired at the sun. So he can burn to death knowing he’s been fired twice. What a complete tosser.’
She pauses for only half a second but it is long enough for a small, tinny voice to pipe up from her phone.
‘Er, Celeste, I think you might’ve put me on loudspeaker instead of on hold.’
Celeste jabs at her phone again, returning it to her ear. ‘Oh no, not you my darling,’ she tinkles smoothly. ‘Of course not you, I’d never talk about you like that, you’re my delicious peach melba with extra raspberry sauce.’ Turning to our group again, she points at the phone in her hand and slow-motion mouths, ‘CUNT.’
She stomps out of the room, still pouring confusing sweet nothings into this man’s ear, and we all glance at each other, delighted at her outrageous ability to get away with anything. In the corner, Myfanwy flicks through the early morning channels, finding nothing and landing on BBC Breakfast weather.
‘Carol Kirkwood is my sexuality,’ Sonali announces, moving closer to the screen where the Scottish weather presenter beams her daily winning smile to the nation.
‘Oi,’ Myfanwy shouts across the room, lobbing a cushion. ‘You’re engaged now, Sonali, no perving at other women.’
‘Try not to wreck my mum’s house,’ I faux-scold, then add with a huge grin, ‘Especially just as I’m moving out…’ There is excited murmuring and they both turn to me with interest. ‘Well, soon anyway,’ I explain, embarrassed by my premature grand announcement. ‘As you know, Mum’s given me a new job at the store and with the extra money I’m earning, I’ve worked out I can just about afford to get somewhere. And the most exciting part is’ – I try not to squeal – ‘I’ve decided I’m going to live alone!’
The funny thing is, until a few days ago, I’d literally in my life never once considered living on my own. Which is so strange given how much I love being alone. I always thought I’d be too scared or too lonely, but I’ve never been more scared and lonely at points in this last year, and I’ve been living in a house with two other people! So much has happened and I’ve realized that I’m much braver than I thought I could be.
Myfanwy and Sonali cheer as I continue, ‘I don’t care how cheesy it sounds – I’m a strong, independent woman, who can enjoy her own company. I don’t need a boyfriend to protect me or give me, like, permission to get out there and live my life.’ I roll my eyes. ‘And it’s not like I’ll be alone-alone. I have you brilliant pair who will no doubt turn up uninvited regularly.’ I pause. ‘And sure, I will probably end up in huge debt, living off payday loans and stealing diamonds from my workplace but still, I’m SO excited about it!’
Myfanwy lets out a big, ‘You go, gurl!’
I beam, thinking how excited I am about this huge new adventure. I’ve done so much and changed how I see myself. I know I can do this.
From out in the hallway, the front door slams with dramatic flourish as Toni bounces into the room. ‘It’s over!’ she shouts happily. ‘It’s OVER!’
‘YES!’ I yell back as she joins us, as pink-cheeked and more full of the joys than I’ve seen her in ages. Since before Shawn actually. ‘You did it?’ I ask, trying to get out of the beanbag so I can hug her.
‘Yes, and it was awful but it’s OVER!’ She can’t stop smiling. ‘I’m so relieved. He tried to explain to me so many times why I was wrong and how I’m being foolish, but thankfully I stayed strong.’ I pull her in for a hug and I can feel how exhausted she is.
‘Come sit down.’ I lead her across to the sofa, where Sonali shuffles over to make room for Toni’s tiny bum. ‘We’re objectifying weather legend Carol Kirkwood.’
She collapses down, adopting a thousand-yard stare. ‘It’s really over,’ she whispers, mostly to herself now.
I bring my beanbag across to the sofa and lean my head against her arm as we all fall silent, hypnotized by the TV’s low hum.
After a few minutes Toni turns to me, ‘Hey Ginny,’ she says thoughtfully. ‘I actually did see one really nice flat when I was looking at places with Shawn.’
‘Uh oh, you’re not regretting dumping him already?’ Myfanwy leans closer, the horror plain on her face.
Toni giggles. ‘Definitely not! No, I…’ She glances at me hopefully. ‘I wondered if maybe we could rent it together, Gin?’
All eyes turn to me, waiting for me to give that speech from earlier about wanting to be independent and all that guff.
‘YES PLEASE!’ I scream instead and we both stand up jumping up and down and shrieking.
Because sod it.
Yes, of course it’s good to be a strong, powerful, independent woman, but you can still be all that while living with someone you love. It’s OK to need people and to lean on people. I love my sister and we’re simpatico introverted souls. We will make great housemates – we already have for a long time – and it might be some reassurance to Celeste, knowing we’re looking after each other.
‘Check it out,’ Toni says excitedly, showing me photos on her phone of a small but bright two-bed flat on a leafy, tree-lined road. It looks amazing. The windows are large, the ceilings high, and there are two tiny but sweet bedrooms. Obviously, it’s extortionately expensive, like everything in London, but I know between us, we can just about afford it.
‘I love it!’ I breathe, meaning it.
‘Yay!’ she squeaks. We both leap up excitedly, dancing around the room as we show everyone our – hopefully – new home.
This is the start of a new adventure for both of us, and I can’t wait.