Deadly Daddy (Little Lost #3)

Chapter One

When looking at The PlayPen from the outside, it appeared to be an uber exclusive country club for the wealthy. Only the patrons knew what really went on inside. From the swing sets to the rocking horses, coloring books and blocks. It was a haven for Littles. It was a hunting ground for daddies. No one knew that better than Kyson. Thankfully, Kyson also knew something even most members didn’t about the place. A huge part of the building was a home. Inside lived Kyson’s hero—the owner of The PlayPen: Banks Bosi.

Kyson watched Banks circle the living room, eyeing his work. He had pitched a tent for Kyson, filled with sleeping bags and pillows. There was a flashlight inside, in case Kyson got scared. People were either terrified of Banks for his temper or steered clear due to his drug addiction… or both. As the youngest son of the biggest weapons dealer on the west coast, they were right to fear him. He was tall and skinny, but muscular. Kyson liked staring at the way his forearms flexed. Those arms had saved him. That was why Kyson wasn’t afraid. The hands that had taken lives had beaten the man who hurt Kyson nearly to death. Then they had carried Kyson from the playroom to his home attached to the club. This was where Kyson had been ever since. Six months of healing. Quiet. The nightmares still came. Something inside him was still broken, but every day he saw Banks a little clearer. Each day, he wanted him a little more.

“There’re coloring books, activity books, music, blocks, cars, and games. Oh, and snacks.” Banks met his gaze. His dark brown eyes looked like home to Kyson. “Do you need anything else for your sleepover?”

Kyson tore his eyes away from Banks and inspected the fun zone he had set up for Kyson. His best friend, Soren, was staying the night. Banks had been so excited for Kyson; he had gone all out to make the night fun for them. He was the best daddy Kyson would never have. They were just friends. Kyson wasn’t worthy of love.

“This looks amazing. Soren will have the best time.”

A goofy smile touched Banks’ lips. He could be so fun and kid-like when he was sober. “Hopefully, you too. A sleepover is supposed to be a good time for everyone involved.”

Kyson’s gaze slid toward Shane. The lumberjack of a man leaned against the wall, watching. He was always watching. That was his job. Before Kyson had come along, he had been Banks’ personal guard. Since Kyson’s rescue, he had been assigned to stick by him. The poor guy.

When Kyson’s gaze swung Shane’s way, Shane smiled. “Don’t worry about me.”

“But you’ll be here too.” Kyson couldn’t help but argue. For six months, he had been trapped with Kyson. No doubt the guy was bored off his ass. “Daddy—” Kyson froze for a second at his mistake and tried again. “Banks said everyone involved is supposed to have a good time.”

“Give him some snacks,” Banks said, heading for the door. He patted Shane’s stomach as he passed. “Look at him. That’s all it takes to keep him happy.”

Shane rolled his eyes but smiled.

Banks grabbed his wallet and keys. “I’ve ordered pizza for you. It should be here soon. Also—”

Soren appeared with a different guard, cutting off Banks’ speech. He was dressed like a fuzzy teddy bear and wore his backpack. As always, he was all sweet smiles and pretty eyes. Seriously, he had the most beautiful light green eyes Kyson had ever seen. He was so angelic-looking, with a round face and pouty lips. Not a single daddy ever looked his way because he was chubby. Kyson thought he was perfect.

He waved, looking excited. “Hi, Kyson.”

From his spot on the living room floor, in the middle of the mess Banks had made for them, Kyson motioned for Soren to join him. “Come on. Look at what Banks set up for us.”

Soren rushed forward, taking off his backpack as he neared. “This is awesome. I’ve always wanted to sleep in a tent, but I don’t like sleeping outdoors. There are bears.”

Kyson chuckled. “There’s one here too.”

Soren’s gaze slid toward Shane.

A loud laugh burst from Kyson. “No, silly. You. You’re wearing your bear pajamas.”

Soren blushed, turning beet red.

Shane didn’t help matters. His soft chuckle wasn’t quite soft enough.

Kyson moved on. He knew too well what it was like to feel humiliated. “He’s also got us a ton of snacks and ordered us pizza.”

“Yay.”

“You two have fun and behave.” Banks’ expression turned serious. “Brush your teeth before you fall asleep tonight. All this junk food will give you cavities.”

They nodded. “Okay.”

With their unison agreement, Banks nodded. “Good boys. I’m heading out so you two can have the run of the place.”

“Okay.”

At their unison agreement again, Banks tossed them a wink and headed out. Kyson didn’t know if he planned to hang out just down the hall in the play area, or if he had sketchy shit to do for his dad. He never knew what Banks did when he left. Kyson told himself it was for the best he didn’t know. It would likely break his heart.

Banks didn’t know where he was headed for the night. All he knew was he couldn’t stay. He desperately wanted Kyson to feel free. This was the first time since coming to live with Banks that Kyson asked if a friend could stay the night. Since Banks knew Kyson’s ex-daddy had stripped him of every freedom, Banks needed Kyson to experience the night alone. Well, as alone as Banks could leave him with a gaggle of horny daddies running around inside the club. Plus, Kyson’s ex, Jack, still ran around somewhere in the world. He limped now, though. An evil smile pulled at Banks’ lips. He bet that motherfucker never forgot Banks, or the punishment for hurting a Little. Still, Banks wanted to clear out for the night and let Kyson regain a piece of himself without fear of getting hurt for finding joy.

Banks cleared the hallway and stepped inside the playroom. He spotted his brother, Boone, pushing two Littles on the swings. His husband, Jupiter, and their lawyer’s husband, Luca. The three were all smiles. God, it warmed his chest to see his brother happy and thriving. The guy fucking deserved it. His gaze skirted across the rest of the playroom. There were daddies playing cards and Littles all over the place. Banks’ skin itched. There was nothing for him here. There never had been. Banks had built this place as a haven for others. There was no peace for him.

He kept moving, headed for the door. Banks nodded at the first guard he saw. “Has my car been brought around?”

“Yes, sir.”

Banks stepped into the night air and found his Lambo waiting. The car had been a gift from his father. Boone had one too in a different color. Matching cars, ensuring both brothers always felt equally loved. Banks was torn about how he felt about his father. He loved him, of course. Growing up, he had been the greatest of dads. Then he had actually grown up, and the expectations began. Banks realized how many things about his childhood had been fucked up, and he saw how those things had led him into a world of pain. Now, Banks carried too many scars and emotions to live with them with a clear head. He needed to find Axton.

The moment Banks was on the road, he asked his phone to call the guy. As their attorney’s younger brother, Axton had been on the fringes of their family for years. Except he spent those years behind bars for manslaughter. Since Banks arranged for his release, they had spent a lot of time together. The guy was fun. Trouble, but fun.

“Yo?”

Banks smiled at the way Axton answered the phone. “Hey. Are you getting into anything tonight?”

A low chuckle rumbled through the speakers of the car. “Always. I’m at the bar.”

He didn’t have to specify which bar. Axton only went to one. It was a shady biker place on the wrong side of town. Anyone else would be stupid to drive a quarter of a million-dollar car there, but Banks wasn’t anyone. People knew him. They knew his father. That meant they understood they would never be seen again if they touched anything owned by him.

“I’m headed that way.”

“Cool.” Axton disconnected the call.

Banks shook his head. No manners. That was one thing Banks’ entire family had in droves. They had grown up with the best of everything, living in two worlds: the highest of society and the lowest of scum. Banks could play either part. Oddly, though, Axton hadn’t exactly been raised by paupers. His brother had become a well-respected attorney. Banks didn’t know the story of how the two had turned out so differently from each other. Honestly, Banks didn’t care enough to ask. He just wanted someone to get fucked up with him. Banks swallowed. Even losers liked company at the bottom.

Banks pulled into the gravel parking lot, maneuvering through the Harleys to find a spot to park. Neon lights and music filled the air, competing with the sounds of rowdy men and laughter. People looked his way and nodded as Banks headed inside. Banks didn’t fit the scene. Everyone there was leather and bandannas. Tattoos and scars. Banks was clean shaven and polished. Jeans and a T-shirt that looked as expensive as they were. But these people still knew Banks was one of them. Just a wolf in different clothing.

He spotted Axton the moment he stepped through the door. His long, almost eerily platinum hair caught the light, looking like it nearly shimmered. The guy was hot. Chiseled face. Sky-blue eyes. A lip ring in the center of his bottom lip screamed he would do naughty things each time he smirked. Banks could see people falling at his feet.

Axton smiled when he caught sight of Banks. He stood. “There he is.” He one-arm hugged Banks, slapping him across the back. “You should’ve let me know sooner you were hitting the town tonight. We could’ve made plans.”

Banks grabbed a chair and sat. “I didn’t plan on doing shit tonight.” He started to explain about Kyson having a guest, but stopped himself. Kyson was good. Innocent and pure. He didn’t belong in a place like this. Instead, he shrugged. “But I got bored. You know how it is.”

A wicked-looking smile stretched Axton’s lips. “You came to the right place.”

Banks knew he had. That was why he was there, looking to drown his emotions. To forget. Maybe one day, it would kill him. That day couldn’t come soon enough for Banks.

Despite having a great time, Kyson still split his attention between Soren and the clock. He never knew how long Banks would stay gone. Kyson lived in constant fear he wouldn’t come back. Thankfully, they had run out of steam for playing games. Kyson turned out the lights and turned on the big screen. Side by side on their backs and on the floor, Soren and he watched an animated movie. It had been a fun night. It felt good to enjoy himself without worrying he would be punished for it.

Kyson hated that Jack still lived in the back of his head. He didn’t love him or miss him. The love had been beaten from Kyson a year into the relationship. Fear had kept him from leaving. Jack had come too close to killing Kyson too many times for Kyson to think he had a single chance of leaving alive. Then Banks had taken one look at Kyson’s bruises and turned into an avenging angel. Kyson had gotten used to violence. Yet he still had never seen the fury Banks unleashed that day. He had been like a berserker. Banks had been covered in Jack’s blood when he had gently lifted Kyson from his seat and carried him here. He had inspected Kyson’s injuries and swore to him no one would ever hurt him again. Banks had given him a home, safety, and peace. Unfortunately, Kyson didn’t think Banks knew peace. Whatever Kyson had seen inside Banks that day, Kyson had a bad feeling that was the person Banks truly was, and Banks scared the fuck out of himself. Kyson wanted to save him.

The radio on Shane’s belt chirped. He snagged it. “Yeah. What’s up?”

“Banks is in his car out front.”

At the crackled-sounding words, Shane’s shoulders fell. He sat nearby on the loveseat, watching the movie with them. The defeat in his every line made Kyson’s stomach hurt. Shane brought the radio to his mouth. “All right. I’m on my way.” He stood. “Will you two be all right alone for a minute?”

Soren kicked one footsie-clad foot into the air. “I know Judo.”

The way Shane laughed on the way to the door had the two exchanging a smile. Sometimes Kyson got the feeling Soren liked Shane. He was twice as funny in the guy’s presence. Kyson wished he could push the two together.

All Kyson’s humor died when Shane returned with Banks over his shoulder. It was obvious Banks was out cold. Kyson chewed his bottom lip as he watched Shane head down the hall to Banks’ bedroom. In no time, he reappeared and reclaimed his spot on the loveseat like nothing happened.

Kyson rolled to his side and stared down the hallway. From his spot and angle on the floor, he could just see the corner of Banks’ open bedroom door. His mind raced with excuses to go see for himself if Banks was alive. Then, like a zombie, Banks appeared in the doorway before turning left into the bathroom. The light flared to life, but the door didn’t close. Kyson blinked. It was weird as hell. Banks had a bathroom inside his bedroom. Was he that out of his head? Was he sleepwalking? Kyson couldn’t take it any longer.

He pressed his lips against Soren’s ear. “I’m going to go check on Banks. Will you be okay?”

Soren turned his head and met Kyson’s stare. “Of course. I’ll distract Shane with snacks.”

A chuckle burst from Kyson. The universe had opened up and given Soren a chance to be alone with Shane, and Kyson a chance to go be with Banks without guilt. He pushed to his knees and stood.

Soren sat up and focused on Shane. “Let’s get some more of those cookies.”

Kyson didn’t wait around to see what happened. He headed straight for the bathroom. His heart traveled to his throat at the first sight of Banks. All his clothes were strewn around the room. He was on the floor, coated in sweat. His normally perfectly styled hair was plastered to his skin. Kyson stepped into the room and over his body, moving to his head. He dropped to his knees before finding a comfortable way to sit on the floor with his back against the wall. Kyson gently lifted Banks’ head and slid beneath it so his head rested on Kyson’s lap. He could see his chest moving, but he was scared Banks would puke and then choke to death on his own vomit.

Kyson felt numb as he stroked Banks’ hair. He didn’t understand why Banks always did this to himself. In every other way, Banks was perfect. He was beautiful and kind. He was funny and sweet. But then there was this scary side of him that needed Kyson to be the savior. He wouldn’t leave Banks in his time of need. Just like Banks hadn’t abandoned him when everyone else had.

Banks’ eyes opened. An adorable smile touched his lips. “Hi.”

Kyson smiled. “Hi.”

“You look cute as hell as a Piglet. Did I tell you that earlier?”

Kyson’s smile grew alongside the pains in his chest. Banks’ eyes closed again and then reopened as if he fought to stay conscious. “I’m sorry I’m not a very good daddy.”

Kyson’s heart squeezed in his chest. He kissed Banks’ forehead.

A sweet humming sound came from the back of Banks’ throat. “Did you know? I used to have a daddy too.”

Tears sprang to Kyson’s eyes at the pain in Banks’ voice. He swallowed past the lump in his throat. “I can’t picture you as a Little.”

“I was barely eighteen.” Banks’ eyes stayed closed, letting Kyson stare at him without shame. “He was like Jack, except worse. At least, I pray he was worse. I can’t think about you going through half of what I did. My heart can’t take it.”

Kyson swiped his eyes. His heart was breaking. “What happened to him?”

“I killed him.” The words came out in barely a whisper and Banks was gone again.

“Good.” Kyson said the word under his breath, not wanting to wake Banks. He quietly cried, while still trying to keep Banks’ head up. Kyson genuinely couldn’t picture Banks as a Little. He was so amazing at being a daddy, but this was the first time he had called himself that with Kyson. Honestly, while Kyson sometimes slipped up and called Banks that, it was more like calling a man by the wrong name. He didn’t expect Banks to take on that role. In fact, he didn’t think he wanted another daddy. He just wanted to be himself in peace. In a lot of ways, he was scared to ever let anyone have that sort of power in his life again. He was scared of a lot of things.

“Goddamn it. You should’ve said something.” Kyson startled at Shane’s sudden arrival in the doorway. Shane stormed into the room and plucked Banks from the floor like he wasn’t nude and weighed nothing.

Kyson scrambled after him. “It’s fine. I want to take care of him.”

Shane unceremoniously dumped Banks on his bed. Banks didn’t move. He focused on Kyson. “If you want to love him, that’s on your head.” He pointed toward the bed. “But that’s all you’ll ever get.”

Kyson fought another wave of tears. Not only from Shane’s harsh words but also his mean tone and Kyson’s humiliation. He lost the battle. The tears spilled over his lashes. For a moment, Shane stared at him, looking defeated. “Do what you want.” He stepped around Kyson, leaving him to his overloaded emotions.

Soren wrapped his arm around Kyson and steered him from the room. He didn’t head back to their tent and party. Instead, Soren led him to bed. He urged Kyson to sit before he climbed into bed next to him.

Kyson followed his lead and curled onto his side. He let Soren hold him.

“It’s okay,” Soren whispered, sounding exactly like the Little he was. “I know he’s not without his vices, but I see you two. He’s the perfect man for you. I see the way he looks at you. You’re not wrong for caring. Don’t let anyone make you feel wrong.”

Kyson cried harder. He knew Soren cared and understood. But then again, no one did. No one knew the battle Kyson fought every day just to keep going. Banks gave him purpose. Shane thought he was stupid for it. What did that say about Kyson? Maybe he really was better off dead.