Dirty Play (Empire State Hockey Series)

22. Cade

After just a few minutes of indecision, I drag myself out to the kitchen. My parents are sitting at the table, each with a cup of coffee in hand and their usual reading materials. My mom’s a reader. Any book she sees, she’ll probably read it. My dad, on the other hand, loves reading the paper, always starting his morning with his coffee and the crosswords.

At least, that’s how it was when I lived here.

I feel their eyes on me, staring as I walk in. It’s my mom who cracks first, standing and running over to me with a smile that both makes me happy and crushes my soul because all I can see is the pain Kylie has been telling me about—the pain I didn’t believe existed until I saw it first-hand.

“I was starting to wonder if I dreamed seeing you last night,” my mom says, still hugging me, only letting go when my dad comes over for a hug.

“Hello, son,” he says warmly, but it doesn’t quite meet his eyes like he’s holding back, and it hurts. It makes me wonder if I should’ve stayed home.

Everyone in my family has the same look in their eyes when they see me, the same look that tells me how much they hold back. It’s that look that I’ve been running from for years, the look that tells me I’ve disappointed them.

“Hey, dad,” I say before grabbing a cup of coffee and starting Gwen’s drink.

“It’s good to see you. It’s been way too long,” my mom says as I sit down across from them.

“It has been too long, I—” I start, but she cuts me off.

“No, no. We aren’t going to do any of that right now. Right now, I’m just happy you’re here. Now, tell me about how you’re doing. I feel like I’ve missed so much.”

Now would be the best time to tell them I’ve had surgery—break the ice before Gwen comes out. But like most times, I chicken out right as the front door opens, and like a tornado, Kylie and Vince come blaring into the house, both scanning their surroundings, obviously looking for me. I see the surprise on each of their faces when they find me actually sitting at the table with our parents.

They probably thought you’d bail, again.

Kylie runs over and gives me a quick hug before sitting next to me, while Vince passes by, giving my shoulder a squeeze before sitting next to mom. All of them notice as I wince in pain, my side more tender today than yesterday. That damn drive really did me in.

“You good?” my dad asks, a concerned look on his face.

“Uh… yeah. About that, it’s kind of part of the reason I’m here… I probably, no—definitely, should’ve told you guys about this but, uh—I had surgery almost two weeks ago.”

Just as expected, they all start talking at once, all trying to be heard, and each of them making sure I know how pissed they are. Which I deserve. After a minute or two of them complaining, the concern and questions start. Their desire to want to understand will always impress me.

“What do you mean you had surgery?” Kylie asks incredulously. “Isn’t that something you’d want to tell people about? What kind of surgery?”

Gwen chooses that moment to make her way into the kitchen, thankfully giving me a moment to gather my thoughts as my family all turn to stare at her, curiosity on my parents’ faces while Kylie and Vince just look confused. I grab her drink and set it down next to me, her surprised smile the best part of my day so far.

Well…second best.

“Hi, sweetie,” my mom says as she stands up and wraps Gwen in a hug. I probably should’ve warned Gwen that my family is very huggy… but she’s handling it well, only starfishing for a second or two before hugging my mom back. “It’s nice to see you in the daytime, I hope you slept okay.”

“I did,” Gwen says. Her cheeks redden, probably remembering how we woke up this morning, my cock hard, rubbing up against her ass. Yeah… I wouldn’t mind waking up like that again.

Which is weird, considering I never like sleeping with people.

Unless it’s Gwen, you like sleeping with her.

“Thank you so much for coming to help Cade… even though it seems we are just now finding out why it’s needed,” Kylie says, turning back to glare at me, and it feels like tiny little needles poking me.

“Well, if it’s any consolation, I work at the hospital where he had the surgery—specifically with the recipient—and he still waited minutes before the scheduled time to let me know.”

And there she is, ladies and gentlemen, the Gwen I know and adore is out and ready to play. Her first victim: me.

“Cade Williams, I raised you better than that,” my mother scolds as she leads Gwen to a seat. “You really didn’t tell anyone about this? Harris, maybe?”

“Nope, and don’t worry, he already yelled at me enough for all of y’all.”

“It’s about time someone told you how it is,” Vince murmurs.

“Hold up a second,” my dad says, his eyebrows scrunched when he looks at me. “Did she say recipient?”

“Yes, sir,” I say, feeling the air change in the room like it’s harder to take a deep breath.

“Recipient… for what?” he asks, and I watch as they exchange knowing glances, understanding finally crossing each of their faces. They know after everything that happened, there’s only one reason I would ever go through this… another perfect match.

“Kidney transplant,” I mumble, Gwen’s hand gripping my thigh like she knows I need to be grounded. It’s hard having this conversation without Gwen knowing everything, and thankfully, my family hasn’t figured out that she’s not just my nurse so they won’t go into detail unless I initiate it.

“For who?” my dad says, still looking confused.

“A fifteen-year-old girl I met at the hospital. Her name is Kennedy.”

“How is she doing?” my mother asks, tears in her eyes, memories thick in the air.

“She’s doing well,” Gwen jumps in. “She still has a way to go because she’s been fighting this for a while, but she’s making progress every day.”

Gwen fills my parents in on how it all went, letting them know about my recovery, but I’m lost in my siblings’ gaze, both of them staring at me, obviously hurt they didn’t hear about this.

For the third time since the surgery, I feel an overwhelming sense of guilt for not telling someone.

It doesn’t take longthis morning for everyone to disperse, the usual work of the day taking over. Vince and I get up to help my dad, which Gwen thinks is a great idea. Although she gives me strict instructions that I’m basically not to do anything, just watch and supervise. If she finds out I lift anything and hurt myself, she’s bound to kick my ass. Both my dad and Vince get a kick out of her attitude. And before I can say anything, Kylie and my mom make their way out to the porch with a pitcher of tea, Gwen in tow, their favorite way to spend a day.

The thought shouldn’t make me so happy, but it does.

By the time we make it out to the field where they’re working on fixing the fence, I find a seat on a tractor and just watch them. It’s not like I can do anything. If I even pick up a fence post, I’m sure Gwen will find me.

Besides, the longer it takes me to recover, the longer I spend not inside her, and dammit, that’s the only place I truly want to be right now.

“Vince, will you grab that shovel over there so we can start digging a new hole? We’re gonna need to bury this pole a little deeper. Maybe that’ll help.”

He grabs it and gets to work while I help my dad measure everything, feeling pretty damn useless since the only thing they are letting me do is hold a tape measure. “Have you thought about securing this pole with the other one for extra support?” I ask.

“Do you even know how to fix a fence anymore, Cade?” Vince grumbles, out of breath from digging, tone is annoyed.

“Vince,” my father warns.

“No, Dad. I’m not going to baby him. He hasn’t really been here in eleven years and he’s going to show up today and tell us what to do?”

“I’m not—” I start, but he’s not finished.

“He left us, he left the ranch, he left the house, he left our family, and now he’s back and wants to tell us what to do? Fuck that.”

I want to get defensive, tell him he’s wrong, and that’s not what I’m trying to do. I’m honestly just trying to talk, not shut myself in like I always have, but I’m clearly fighting an uphill battle. I know it isn’t going to be easy, and fuck, I just have to grin and bear it because I know deep down I made this mess. Now it’s my turn to fix it.

“Now isn’t the time, Vince,” my dad says.

“You’re right,” I say, knowing it’s not worth a fight, and it’s just best to concede. “I did leave, I did run, and we can sit here and talk about it, but do we really need to do that while fixing a fence?”

“No, we don’t, Cade, let’s just keep avoiding it. Why don’t you sit there and look pretty and let us work? I’m really not in the mood to listen to you spew your martyr bullshit at eleven in the morning.”

My mouth gapes. This is the first time that Vince has spoken to me like this. Being three years apart meant that we became really close growing up, especially once he got into sports. It gave us something to bond over.

It’s not even that he’s yelling at me, it’s the pain in his voice—it’s knowing that I’ve hurt him. I’ve hurt my entire family when I was only trying to protect them.

I fucked up.