23. Gwen
Sitting on the porch with Cade’s mom Shelly and Kylie was not something I ever thought I”d be doing… today or any other day if we’re being honest. I was really nervous at first when Cade agreed to go help his dad. The thought of being alone with two women who are extremely important to Cade… well, it’s scarier than walking across a glass bridge and I have a fear of heights.
Flash-forward three hours, and I’m pleasantly surprised that I’m actually having a lot of fun. It helps that these two are absolutely hilarious and seem to be in a competition to see who can share the most secrets about Cade, even though I keep insisting we are just friends. It doesn’t surprise me at all that Cade and his brother got caught streaking through town when they were in high school or that he got in more fights than they could count because boys kept being rude to Kylie and Veronica.
They even tell me a little bit about Veronica, not going too in-depth, just enough that I can tell she was a special girl. The way they describe her, she was strong-willed, took no shit, and was really loyal to the people she loved. Although it seems like she also knew how to piss her brother off and chose to do it as much as possible, probably because she was the only one who could put him in check.
“The boys should be heading back soon. Carson doesn’t like to work too late, so he’s always back by three. Plus, I bet Cade is just itching to get back,” Shelly says as she looks down at her phone to check the time.
“There’s no doubting that. He didn’t let you out of his sight the entire time we were talking, even when Dad and Vince tried to get him to go talk on the patio. I’m sure he’s out there acting like a lost puppy dog,” Kylie adds, and I’m already blushing.
“No, no, you guys have this all wrong. That’s not what this is. I’m a nurse at the hospital in the PICU, and he ended up being a donor for one of my patients. Since we’re friends outside of all that—I’m best friends with his friend”s girlfriend—he asked if I’d come with him to make sure he’s okay… Plus, he needed a driver.”
“You either think I was just born yesterday, which I can guarantee I was not, or you’re delusional.” Shelly laughs, and I’m not sure what to do.
Does she know about Cade and I? Fuck.
“I, we, uh… I don’t know,” I tell them, sighing, not sure what to say.
“Well, if it makes this conversation any easier, when I hung out with Sawyer we got nice and liquored up, so I happen to know a thing or two about you and my big brother,” Kylie says with a sly grin that tells me she has enough details to know just how close the two of us have gotten.
Son of a bitch. My face reddens immediately, and I can feel both their eyes on me. I want to disappear. I’m equally in shock that she knows about this and that she’d say something about it in front of their mom, but she just laughs. I’m not good at hiding things, and I’m even worse at brushing them off when people ask me point-blank. I want nothing more than to stop hiding this thing with Cade.
Whatever it is.
“Look, moms always know. We have a sixth sense about these things. Besides, anyone paying attention can see the way he looks at you. I saw it last night, and I was with you two for ten minutes. Which reminds me, I need to thank you.”
“You need to… what? Why?” I ask, looking at Kylie like she might help me understand, but she just shrugs.
“Yes, you brought my boy home. I think… no… I know that if it weren’t for you, he wouldn’t be here.”
Shelly says it so matter-of-factly that it’s hard for me to not just take her word for it, but I really didn’t do anything. I start fidgeting with my sweatshirt, trying to figure out what to say.
“Mrs. Williams, I really didn’t do anything. This was all his idea. He just brought me along for the ride,” I tell her, uncomfortable with the undeserved praise.
“Sweetie, it’s been almost eleven years since he’s walked into this house with a smile on his face. It wasn’t until last night, when he walked in with you, that I saw a glimpse of my boy. He’s been so isolated, doing his best to stay away and push everyone away in the process. But your energy reminds me of someone I love, and people like you don’t take no for an answer, so I’m not surprised you’re breaking him down a bit. I think having someone like you in his life has pushed him to want more.”
“What do you mean, more?” I ask, not sure what I have to do with any of this.
“Look, I don’t know how much you know which makes this a bit challenging. But given it’s my son, I can guess that it’s the bare minimum, at most,” Shelly starts, and I just nod, knowing there’s so much to this story, and I just have the top layer of it. “When Veronica died, a part of Cade died too. They were the best of friends since they were babies, only fifteen months apart.”
Kylie reaches over and grabs her mom’s hand. It’s never to talk about losing someone, especially someone you loved so much.
“After she died, he left. At first, he just checked out mentally, but as soon as he could, he went away to college and played hockey. He was off and running, never looking back. Don’t get me wrong, his dad and I always dreamed of him making it to the NHL… I guess we just figured he would still visit us every once in a while.” Shelly’s eyes well up, but she looks at me and smiles. “This is the first time he’s come home in over five years, and the first time he’s stayed in this house in ten. You are the only change. The only reason I can think of that could’ve brought my boy home, so thank you.”
She stands up and wraps me in another hug—two in one day—and I can already tell I like it. These hugs make me feel content like I have people that care about me. More than just my girls.
I officially adore these people.
“Oh hell, are we walking into a sappy love fest?” Cade asks as the guys all walk up the stairs onto the porch.
Stepping back, we both just laugh.
“Something like that,” I say as I grab my phone. “I’m actually going to run to my room to call the hospital. I want to check and see how Kennedy is doing.”
Kennedy ended up needing to stay in the hospital for a bit longer—her body just needed a little more time to get stronger. I’ve been getting updates, but only when Mariah is working, and today is her day off.
“Let me know how she is,” Cade says seriously, reaching for my cup of tea and taking a big gulp. Watching the way his Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows shouldn’t be so hot, but I don’t think there’s a thing he does that I don’t find attractive.
I nearly die when I notice everyone around us is watching me ogle Cade. Well, time to run away.
“I’ll be back in a bit,” I say, turning to walk away.
“After that, you and Cade should take a walk. Let him show you around a bit. It might be nice to get out and stretch your legs,” Shelly says with a smirk that makes me think she’s up to something.
Cade looks over at her before shrugging back at me.
“If you’re up for it we can go when you’re done with your call.”
“Okay, I’ll be back down in ten,” I say as I scurry off, needing a minute away from him to regain control.
All of their eyes on me made me realize just how often I look at Cade.
Cade’s childhoodhome has got to be the most beautiful place I’ve ever been. Not only is the home absolutely perfect, but their property is amazing. Cade showed me the barn, where they have their little goats, and then we ended up at a pond with lots of cute duckies.
“Where do you think the mom is?” I ask as I get a little closer to where the ducks are playing in the water.
“I don’t know, but do you really wanna fuck with mama duck? They aren’t very nice.”
“They are too,” I say, glaring. “Geese are the assholes.”
“How do you know this?”
“I read animal facts every morning. It keeps my brain engaged and learning new things—and I happen to love learning about cute little animals.”
“Because you aren’t busy enough as it is,” Cade says before sitting down, while I continue to search for more ducks. “Tell me another.”
“Another what?” I ask as I walk over and sit down in the grass next to him, dropping my head to his shoulder.
“An animal fact.”
I lean back on my elbows, look up at him, and think. I could tell him about hummingbirds flying backward… or how polar bear skin is black. Hmm…
“Otters hold hands while they’re sleeping so they don’t get separated.”
“Really?” he asks, eyebrow cocked like he doesn’t believe me.
“Yup. Google it.”
“Nah, I believe you. That’s just kind of… adorable,” he says with a shrug. “Another one.”
“I’ve got a good one. Did you know that crocodiles can’t stick out their tongues?”
We spend the next couple of hours telling stories—his mostly about playing hockey as a kid, with one or two about all of his siblings mixed in. It’s the most I’ve heard him talk about his family and definitely the most personal information he’s been willing to give me.
I’m more thankful than I realized I would be that another layer of this man is peeling back. Maybe it’s because he’s home that he’s opening up.
“I actually really enjoy it here,” I tell him with a sigh.
“Me, too, Tink. Me too.”
It’s not just being here that I enjoy—it’s being here with him.
When we makeit back to the house it’s after five, and I can smell something delicious as we walk through the front door. I hear laughter in the kitchen, and Cade grabs my hand and pulls me in for a hug. With a kiss on the top of my head—something I didn’t realize I loved so much—he holds me for a moment.
“Thank you for coming out here with me,” he says. “I’m not sure I could’ve faced this without you.”
I look up, stretching my neck back to see him. Everything his mom said earlier comes rushing back—how I changed him, how I brought him back home—and I start to wonder… am I helping Cade? Am I helping him work through his past and realize that he has a million people around him who care about him?
If I am, I just hope he realizes I’m one of them.
“Anytime, Mr. Grumps,” I say, leaning up to press a quick kiss on the corner of his mouth, just enough to make him want more but still chaste enough to almost be a cheek kiss. Pulling back, I head toward the kitchen, ready to help however I can.
When we walk in, they don’t notice us right away. Both his parents are in the kitchen pulling lasagna and bread out of the oven while Kylie makes a salad. It smells absolutely delicious, and my stomach starts growling, reminding me I probably should’ve eaten more this morning.
“Perfect timing, you two. Dinner is ready to go on the table, and Vince will be here in five,” Shelly says as she carries the lasagna over. “The table is set and everything is ready, so why don’t you have a seat.”
Feeling rather lazy but not willing to argue, I sit down, thankful when Cade takes the seat next to me.
“Did you guys have a good time?” Carson asks as he brings the bread over and sits down. Kylie and Shelly each bring a few things over and sit down, too.
“We did, you have a beautiful property. I’m sure I could spend days exploring it and still never be done.”
“You’re not wrong. Did you guys go over to the pond?” Shelly asks.
“Yeah, that’s actually where we spent most of our time. She found little ducks in the water, and we ended up watching them play for two hours until the mom came around,” Cade interjects, still annoyed that we got chased out of the area by a mama duck who, apparently, wasn’t very nice.
I hear laughter as Vince walks in. “You and those damn birds,” he says as he walks over and gives everyone a quick squeeze before taking the seat next to Cade.
“Well, now that everyone”s here, let’s eat,” Shelly says.
It isn’t long until we have all finished our meals and are sitting back to listen to more stories. More memories, I love the picture they are painting of Cade—someone loveable, strong, and passionate. His hand moves under the table to grip my thigh, and I feel grounded knowing he’s right there, even if no one else can see.
Everything is going great until someone mentions Veronica again. This time, Vince mentions the surgery and how this was the second time Cade was supposed to have kidney surgery. I feel the temperature drop in the room, his grip on my thigh tightening just enough that I can tell how uncomfortable he is.
Cade looks toward Vince. “Drop that topic, please,” he says. I can’t see his face, but his voice sounds desperate.
I watch Vince as he just stares at Cade, his eyes narrowing, fingers tapping on the table like he’s assessing the situation.
“No,” he says, and I feel everyone hold their breath. “You can’t run from everything for the rest of your life, Cade. It’s time to man up and handle the past. It fucking sucks, trust me, we all lived through it while you ran. So don’t sit here and act all high and mighty like we can’t talk about something that we all fucking lived through.”
“Vince,” Shelly says, desperation in her voice, and I can tell she just wants to keep the peace. She’s got all her babies under the same roof, and she just wants to hold on to it.
“No, mom. I’m done walking on eggshells around Cade. I’m done pretending that when Veronica died, he didn’t die too. He left us. He left us because he was too much of a pussy to deal with everything, which meant he left us to mourn the both of them, and I’m fucking tired of it,” Vince says, his voice breaking.
I feel like this is the last place I want to be right now, the tension in the room skyrocketing as everyone watches Vince and Cade in a stare off, neither of them saying anything. I think Vince is hoping that this will make Cade talk, but it’s probably shutting him down further.
“I said no,” Cade seethes, his hand shaking against my thigh. I want to hold him, make him feel better, but I can’t.
Vince surprises us all when he stands up, slamming his chair back as he looks directly at Cade. “The day you decide to fucking man up and be my big brother again is the day I’ll sit at this table with you,” he says, voice thick with emotion as he turns and walks out the door.
Cade sits there for a moment before standing up and storming out in the opposite direction of his brother, the back door slamming behind him. The rest of us are left in silence.
Fuck.
No one says anything—we don’t move, just wait. Kylie must notice my sadness because she moves to sit next to me and wraps her arm around me.
“Look, it’ll be fine. They’ll both cool off and maybe this will be the push they need to actually sit down and talk about everything,” Kylie says, sensing my obvious discomfort with what just happened. “Why don’t we all go out tomorrow or the next day. It’ll be fun and maybe it’ll help them chill the eff out.”
“They’re both hotheaded,” Shelly says with a smile.
“Yup, just like their mother,” Carson says with a wink as he starts to carry dishes to the kitchen.
Shelly just laughs, swatting him with her towel as he walks by, a big ass grin on her face. “That’s who you fell in love with, Mr. Williams. Don’t start talking trash about it now.”
I stare at these two like I’m watching a movie. They are the exact depiction of what being in love should look like. They have what I’ve dreamed I would find ever since I was a girl. Not only that, but they seem downright happy together as a family. Hell, they really didn’t even blink when Cade and I showed up, hugging him after years away. And they welcomed me with open arms—it’s a feeling I’m not quite used to.
It”s also a feeling I’m scared to get comfortable with… What if this doesn’t work out? What if whatever this is between us fizzles out, or he gets bored? What if he doesn’t feel the same way about me?
What do I even feel for Cade? Do I like him? Do I like-like him? Do I…
I don’t finish that thought because I’m not sure I’d know what to do with the answer. Admitting just how strong my feelings for Cade are is something I’m not quite ready to navigate.
Not yet, at least.