Dirty Play (Empire State Hockey Series)

24. Gwen

When Kylie invited us out tonight, I wanted to say no. The thought of being out with everyone sounded overwhelming because I’m still not quite sure how to act around Cade. Especially after he and Vince had their blow up. So far, nothing has come of it, but they haven’t really talked all that much.

Even with the tension, it’s been a fun time. The bars out here aren’t wild and crazy like the ones back home, just enough excitement to make for an interesting night. We start at a tiny bar in town, where Kylie and I hit the dance floor while her husband, Cade, and Vince sit at a table and glower. Brandon was less than thrilled when Kylie wanted to dance, so I figured what the hell, I’d do it. Based on the looks she’s been getting from her husband, he’s really regretting his decision.

“My brother hasn’t taken his eyes off you the entire night.” Kylie practically has to shout over the music to be heard.

She’s not wrong. Anytime I’ve turned around, his eyes have been on me. Even now, he’s staring, jaw clenched, fisting his drink so tightly I’m surprised the glass hasn’t shattered. He’s trying so damn hard to hold back; he has been since we got here. It’s not like he’s being mean… I can just feel the distance between us. He’s still been sneaking into my room every night since we got here, but it feels like we’ve taken a step back. I’m trying to convince myself to be patient. I’ve waited what feels like an eternity, but I can wait a little longer—I can give him some time to figure this shit out with his family.

That being said… I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t fuck with him.

“Well, my apologies for TMI, but staring doesn’t make me orgasm,” I tell her. “My books do, though.” With a wink, I scan the floor, looking for the nearest single guy, specifically one Cade can see.

“Gag me, and not in a good way. I’m just glad to see that Cade has found someone like you, someone who can deal with his condition.”

“His condition?” I ask, confused as fuck now.

“Yeah, apparently, someone lodged a stick up his ass about ten years ago and no one’s been able to remove it. Symptoms include grumpiness, permanent scowl, unique ability to keep everyone at arm’s length, and my favorite, the aura of pure dickishness that surrounds the man at all times.”

I can’t help the very unladylike laugh I let out at the imagery, but she’s nailed it right on the head. It probably doesn’t help that Kylie and I keep sneaking off to take shots, much to the guys’ dismay, so everything is much funnier than usual. To be fair, we’ve invited the boys to join, but they’re being party poopers.

Cade seems to be feeling much better today, at least physically. He seems like he’s starting to feel more like himself. He let me look at the incisions, and everything looks great, which is a relief.

“I mean, I know he’s all of those things, but when I look at your brother, those are the last things I notice.”

“That’s what makes you so good for him. He needs someone who can look past the act and see through to who he really is. You may not realize it, but you’ve changed him—he’s more like the brother I used to know.”

“Well… if he’s acting more like the brother you used to know, then tell me, how does he do with jealousy?” I ask her, scanning the dance floor again.

“Well, by the look of his white knuckles, he’s about two seconds away from an ER trip, so my guess is it won’t take much… why? What are you plotting?” Kylie asks, eyes twinkling with excitement as she follows my gaze.

“I’m just thinking about doing a little more dancing… If it makes him jealous, maybe he’ll tell me—or show me—how he feels. I don’t expect him to caveman carry me out of the bar—he did have surgery two weeks ago… but I need something.”

“Well, you have two options, three if you really wanna be fucked up. Option one is Marcus over there, next to the lady in red. He’s harmless, I promise, but he has no rhythm, so he basically holds onto your hips to follow your lead the entire time. It’s a bit weird but whatever. Option two is Thomas. He knew my brother back in high school—they were pretty good friends—it’d definitely annoy Cade to see him dancing with you.”

“That was only two options.”

Her eyes widen. “So, we’re going for really fucked up? I knew I liked you.”

“I mean, I’d at least like to hear about it. I like making informed decisions,” I tell her with an evil grin.

She smirks before turning in the direction of the DJ, nodding toward a really fucking attractive man with sandy blonde hair, although he does nothing to my body.

“That’s Derek. Him and my brother have been enemies for a long, long time, and well… let’s just say that I wouldn’t mind if Cade—or Vince, for that matter—punched him in the face.”

“Not Brandon?”

“Pretty sure Brandon wouldn’t notice if I got naked and danced with him myself,” she says, her eyes sad for only a moment before she turns back to Derek. “Just go up and ask him to dance, the man won’t say no.”

“Game on, but if we have to bail Cade out, I’m blaming you.”

With a smirk, I walk toward Derek. Thankfully, he’s already looking in my direction, smiling as approach.

“Wanna dance?” I ask quietly.

He nods in response and I turn, my back to his front. He moves his hands to my hips, surprisingly in a safe zone. He’s not too touchy, and while his standoffishness is not what I expected it definitely helps my situation—I’m cringing that I have someone’s hands on me, someone who isn’t Cade.

We don’t even make it one full song before Cade is in front of me, grabbing my hips and pulling me toward him.

“Sorry, Miller, this one’s mine,” Cade growls, his arm holding me possessively like he’s afraid Derek will pounce. Fortunately, he just smirks as he nods toward Cade before turning back to the bar.

Uneventful in all the right ways.

But when I turn to face Cade, he grabs me by the hand and pulls me to the other side of the dance floor. The side that’s furthest away from everyone. Turning me away from him, he grabs my hips and pulls me back until my ass is pressed against his cock, his very hard cock.

Fuck me.

“What’re you playing at tonight, Tink?” he growls, his teeth scraping down my neck as his hands slide lower.

I can barely form thoughts or words, let alone sentences, when he has just a hand on me, and right now his entire body is pressed to mine. All I want to do is scream for him to take me right here.

I turn my head to the side, bringing my mouth to his ear to talk over the music. “There are no games tonight,” I purr, the way his grip on my hip tightens to nearly the point of pain has me whimpering. I’m not an idiot. I know he wants me. But that doesn’t do me any good if he won’t admit it. “I was just dancing and made a new friend, that’s all.”

“Your new friend was fucking touching you,” he rumbles, voice gritty with anger. “Miller’s a prick, and if he touches you again, I’ll chop his hands off.”

Why is it so hot when a man threatens another man for you?

I don’t want him to actually do it, obviously, but it’s so romantic when he threatens violence for me.

“I mean, I wish someone was touching me. I couldn’t exactly bring my vibrator to your parents’ house, that would’ve been in poor taste,” I whisper, my patience for this stupid little dance already over.

“You think I don’t want you? Haven’t I made this clear to you? You’re the one who won’t let me inside you right now when you’re the only thing I want,” he growls in my ear, teeth nipping my lobe. He sighs, body collapsing around mine, his hands on my hips while he holds me still. “Do I need to prove to you just how badly I want to touch you?”

I should move, but I can’t. I’m frozen, unable to do anything.

“I told you I’m not going to run, that I want to figure this out. It’s time you start believing me.”

Thrusting his hips forward, he presses his hard cock into my ass, his thumb playing with the button of my pants. But I don’t want to give in this easily. I want to make him suffer. Suffer the same way I have.

“Move your hand, Cade.”

“Okay,” Cade says, sliding his hand down past the band of my pants and into my panties. He doesn’t hesitate, his fingers immediately finding my clit, which is already swollen and throbbing from watching him watch me. I’m sure if he touched me just right, I’d combust in seconds.

“What are you doing?”

“You told me to move my hand, am I doing it wrong?” he asks, his fingers still working their way inside me, his thumb pressing firmly against my clit.

“Yes, I mean no. Fuck, I don’t know, Cade, we’re in a freaking crowded bar and you’re doing this?”

“Would you prefer me to stop?”

“No… but fuck.”

“We can do that later. But right now? Right now, I’m going to finger fuck you in this crowded bar. Just try to keep your moans down. Don’t want the entire town to know what you sound like when I make you come.”

His fingers start to move in and out at a pace that’s driving me wild. His thumb keeps a firm hold on my clit while his mouth presses kisses down my neck, and I think I’m having an out-of-body experience. The thought that we could get caught at any time, that someone could walk up to us while Cade’s hand is deep inside my cunt, makes this so much hotter—I’m already about to come.

“I’m so cl-close, please don’t stop.”

And he doesn’t. He continues, his mouth attacking my own, smothering my scream as I fall apart against him, riding his fingers on the dance floor.

As I stand there, he slowly slides his fingers out, slipping them into his mouth with a throaty moan that has no business being that hot.

“What the fuck are we doing?” I ask, startling him with my out of the blue question.

“Not running.”

“Should we stop until we figure this out? Before things get too messy?”

“No.”

“Why not?” I whine.

“Because I know I don’t want that,” he says. His eyes are glassy, the normally vibrant color muted as he battles with indecision. I wish I could help him and make this easier, but I can’t. I know this is hard for him, but sometimes knowing the things you don’t want can be enough.

“But you don’t want this. You don’t want a relationship.”

“I—I’ve never wanted this, you’re right about that. But you’re wrong if you think I don’t want you—if you think I don’t want whatever this thing between us is. I want all of you, Gwen, even the parts that drive me crazy. Those are actually my favorite things about you. The way you blow up my phone until I respond, but only because you’re making sure I’ve taken my medicine or seeing if I need anything, it makes me feel wanted. Like I matter. Between that and the random penguin facts you sent me every day I was in the hospital, I’m downright cheerful every time I see your name, even if I hate my damn phone. I can’t explain it, but every time I try to walk away from you, every time I try not to text you the second I wake up, I feel sick to my stomach. Do you know what the only thing that takes away that feeling is?”

“What?” I whisper, not sure if I actually want to know.

“You,” Cade growls, his hands pulling at his long hair, gripping it in frustration. His words stop me in my tracks, my brain trying to make sense of what he’s saying. The urge to both run from and to Cade is overwhelming.

“You’ve made it clear that you?—”

“I know damn well what I’ve said, Gwen. I’ve always been good at walking away, fighting any sort of feelings for anyone, knowing I’m no good for them. But I’m not good at walking away once feelings have taken up residence in my heart, and you’ve made your own fucking home inside my heart, and now, I’m not letting you go. I’m no good at relationships but with you… you make me feel like I can try. Like I want to try.”

Pulling me in, he stares down at me, his big brown eyes filled with so many different things, indecision still among them. But I also see another emotion… one I’m not quite ready to put into words. Something that feels pretty freaking wonderful coming from him.

“I’m going to fuck up a lot of things, that much I can promise. I’m going to be an asshole even when I don’t mean to be. I’m going to say and do all the wrong things, but I want to try. I want to try to make you as happy as I am when we’re together, I want to try to be worthy of your… attention,” he says, and I feel like I could cry. Or like Ashton Kutcher is going to jump out at any second and tell me I’m Punk’d. But then he really knocks the air from my lungs.

“Will you try… with me? Will you be mine?”

“I always have been, Cade. I’ve just been waiting for you to realize it.”