Dirty Play (Empire State Hockey Series)

27. Gwen

The last twenty-four hours have been a whirlwind and I keep pinching myself to make sure it’s real. I’ve gone through a huge array of emotions but I’m feeling happy and content for the first time in my life. For once, I feel like I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be. Things have shifted between Cade and I, changing from something we couldn’t define to something that’s defining itself for us.

It”s like the universe decided long ago that Cade’s the one for me, and now it’s just pulling us together, a million invisible strings leading us right here.

Between him and his family, everyone has been so welcoming and supportive. It’s made me understand just how clinical my entire life has been. I’ve known these people for a few days and they’ve asked me more personal questions than my own family has throughout my entire life. They’ve asked me what kind of food I like and don’t like, what kinds of things I do in my spare time. You know… questions you ask someone when you want to learn more about them.

Not like the questions my parents ask me about the hospital and my job, or if I’m ready to come work at their hospital yet.

No, here, with Cade and his family, even with the tension, it’s been eye-opening. They’ve shown me what a loving family looks like, how supportive they are of each other, even when the other person fucks up. It’s somehow both broken and healed me all at once and I don’t ever want to leave.

And after the conversation earlier, I finally feel like I understand Cade so much better. The distance, the grumpiness, the constant pushing away of the people who care about him—it all makes sense. He’s been carrying this weight for years.

Now, I see why he does these things, never letting anyone close. Until me.

Bearing the burden of your sister”s death is heavy enough, but feeling unworthy of happiness because you blame yourself is harder to push through. And I wish I could tell him that it wasn’t his fault. I may not have been there, but I understand the medical side. Regardless whether Veronica passed away because of a stroke or due to complications from kidney failure, it wasn”t Cade”s fault.

He didn’t need to go into a bubble until her surgery. He was a seventeen-year-old boy who had his entire life in front of him. He was scared. He went to do something fun for himself and there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s not his fault that he got injured and couldn’t have the surgery. It’s also not his fault that his sister got sick right after.

Life is a bitch. There’s no other way around it. We all know we aren’t getting out of here alive, so we might as well enjoy it while we’re still able to. The more I think about it, the more I hope that I get to enjoy it with Cade. With his family.

After Vince left, Cade talked to his family for a while. They were able to clear the air and talk through everything that happened, and honestly, by the end of it, it felt like they understood each other better. It’s like they can see the struggle the other faced and love each other even more for it.

I felt like I was intruding, watching Cade’s parents hug him like it was the first time. It was a cleansing hug, one that washed away everything, leaving a blank canvas to write their future on, and it was beautiful. Kylie came over and took me by surprise when she gave me a hug, telling me that the only reason any of this has happened is because of me. Because I gave her brother strength. She told me that when you’re in love… when you have someone who loves you, it helps you be strong.

But is that what we are? Are we in love?

This is not a thought for right now, though. After everyone talked, Cade went to look for Vince, leaving us waiting, emotions high because none of us knew how that conversation would go. Based on what everyone here is saying, they’re both hot-headed enough that it could end in a fight and with emotions already a mess today, none of us want that.

The only problem is that we have no idea where they went or if they’re even together. And of course, neither of them are answering their phones, leaving us just sitting here… waiting.

“I hate this,” I groan. “Can’t we go look for them?”

“A girl after my own heart,” Shelly says, standing up. “I’m over this sitting thing. I’ll drive.”

She looks over at Kylie and Carson, both sitting there watching us. Carson looks surprised.

“What? I’m not letting these boys do this shit. We’ve wasted too many years—I don’t want to waste even one more day,” she says to her husband.

He just nods, shaking his head with a little smirk. “Okay, hun. Let’s go find them.”

With that, we all pile into their car.

Once we arrived in town, we split up. Carson and Shelly headed in one direction while Kylie and I headed the other way, but so far we’ve had no luck. We’ve been going into restaurants, and we even checked the gym.

“Do they have any favorite places in town?” I ask Kylie, not knowing how to help because I don’t know this town well.

“No, honestly, I don’t know. I know Vince probably went somewhere to cool off and let his anger out, so he could either be somewhere punching a bag or getting drunk.”

“Honestly, Cade could be doing the same. Whenever he gets frustrated, he wants to go for a run or grab a beer.”

We walk past one of their cafés, and I can’t help but notice how cute it is. It’s the kind of place you’d just love to get lost in for a day. I can imagine myself sitting there with Cade, drinking a dirty chai, and eating delicious pastries. I smile at the thought, hoping the next time we come to visit, we can do just that.

“Hey, Kylie.” I hear a voice from behind us say, and we both turn around quickly. It’s not someone I know, but I definitely recognize her for some reason, something I can’t quite place. She’s probably my parents’ age, with blonde hair and a smile that makes her look much younger, and I just know I’ve seen that smile around.

“Hi, Mrs. Danielson,” Kylie says, turning around to give her a hug. “How are you?”

“I’m good, sweetie, just looking for that husband of mine. Who’s this young lady? I don’t think we’ve met?” she asks with a warm smile directed at me.

“I’m Gwen,” I tell her, offering her my hand, which she graciously shakes. “Gwen Murphy, I’m actually a friend of Cade’s.”

Her face lights up and I suddenly know exactly who this woman is. This is Harris’ mama. I’d bet my life on it.

“Oh, Ms. Gwen, I know exactly who you are, Harris has told me all about you,” she says with a wink, confusing the hell out of me.

“I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or not. Harris is a bit of a wildcard.” I chuckle, a bit nervous at what he might’ve told her.

“All good things, sweetie, all good things. Where’s Cade?” she asks, looking over my shoulder.

“That’s a good question. We’ve been looking for him and Vince for quite some time now,” Kylie says. “They got into a little bit of a disagreement at the house, and we haven’t been able to find them since.”

“Ah, well I’d check Sally’s place right around the corner. When we came into town, I thought I saw Vince’s truck there. Maybe Cade found him and they’re talking it out?”

“Hopefully talking is all they do. Thanks, Mrs. Danielson.”

“Bye, girls. I hope to get to know you properly, Gwen. Maybe I’ll tell Harris we should all go out to dinner when I’m in town later this month.”

“I would love that.” I smile, feeling the sincerity in my words, and it surprises me. I’m not used to agreeing to plans. I prefer to be home in my safe place or at the hospital.

Or with Cade.

But being outgoing? That’s not my style.

Everyone I’ve met in this town is wonderful. They make me feel like I want to go out and socialize, so I can spend more time with them. That’s all I can think about as we head down the street, turning left around the corner where we see both Cade’s and Vince’s trucks sitting outside Sally’s.

“Well, at least we found them. Let’s just hope they’re sober enough not to be fighting. Sally will kick em’ out without question,” Kylie says.

After a quick phone call to her parents to let them know we found the boys, we head inside, holding our breath that we aren’t walking into a bar fight between two grumpy brothers.

The bar itself is exactly what I’d expect in a small town, dimly lit, lots of cozy booths, and a bunch of pool tables set off to the side so people can still dance in the middle. The booths are covered in the awful red vinyl covers, the ones that make noises anytime you move, even the slightest bit, but it’s somehow still inviting.

Looking around the bar and tables for the guys, I’m surprised when we find them at the furthest pool table, each with a glass in one hand and a pool stick in the other. Trying to convince Cade to follow doctor’s orders and take it easy, stop doing physical labor, stop trying to fuck your nurse—none of it’s working. Proven by what I can only assume is whiskey that he’s currently sipping, but I’m picking and choosing my battles.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Kylie growls, her eyes widening when she sees them, all smiles and joking around like they hadn’t just screamed at each other. “We’ve been worried they’re off fighting or making a bigger mess, and here they are, just sitting in a bar, drinking and playing pool? Fucking twats.”

Walking over to them, Kylie doesn’t miss a beat when she smacks them both upside their heads.

“What the—” Vince starts but smiles when he sees it’s Kylie. Cade doesn’t say anything, though, because his eyes are on me.

I can feel the heat of his gaze, the intensity in his eyes almost enough to make me want to hightail it out of here… only it’s inviting be closer. It’s the kind of look that makes me want to jump into his arms and never let go.

I settle on walking to him, though.

The closer I get, the bigger his smile grows, my own following suit, until I’m standing right before him.

He sets his whiskey down, his eyes never leaving mine.

“Tink,” he says, his eyes burning with unspoken emotion as he grabs my hand and pulls me into him, his free hand moving to frame my face. “You’re here.” His voice is hardly a whisper, barely audible in the loud bar, but it’s the only thing I hear.

“I never left,” I reply, leaning into his hand, loving the way he feels holding me. So much going unsaid but there will be time for that another day. For now, I want to enjoy this moment with him and the way he’s holding me. He”s not letting me go anywhere.

Leaning in, his mouth meets mine in a slow languid kiss that I can feel all the way in my toes. I fall into him, his arms wrapping around me, and I finally feel home.

This is exactly where I’m supposed to be, here with this man.

My man.