Edge of Desire

Chapter 19

Avery

Crack. Did I hear it or was it simply the pain his words caused when my heart reacted to them? But it wasn’t only my heart that was cracking. My entire body and soul were splintering apart. How could he have done this to me? A lie this colossal had destroyed my life. How could he have been so selfish? Was it worth the price?

Tears blinded me as I sprinted for my room, the room that wasn’t mine anymore. I fell to the bed and tried to collect my thoughts. All my belongings were in Preston’s room. We’d moved them in there, after we returned from our camping trip.

With resolve, I stood and stomped across the hall. Opening the only two drawers I had any items in, I piled everything in my arms. Then I opened the closet and grabbed the rest, hauled them back to the other room, and dumped them on the bed. I scanned the room, looking for something to stuff my things in. Finding nothing, I decided I would be bold and headed back across the hall. Jerking open the closet door again, I rifled through Preston’s things until my hands landed on my polka-dotted carry-on. My next stop was the bathroom where I dumped my toiletries and other things into the darn bag and hurried back to my old room.

Now what? My job didn”t exist anymore. I had wanted to prove something to myself and my family. Namely, that I could make it on my own. Nix that idea, thank you, Preston. Besides all that, how the hell was I gonna get out of here? And where would I go? The sumo-wrestler thing was beginning to look good again. Maybe I should give Melissa a call.

I heard a tap at the door and then, “Avery, may I come in?”

“Why? So you can tell me more tall tales?”

The door inched open and there he stood, in all his fucking gorgeous glory. Why did he have to look so damn good? Why couldn’t he be ugly and toothless? Or at least have giant nose warts or something? But no, he was perfect Preston with sculpted abs, which of course were shown off to perfection by that damn tight black shirt he was wearing.

“I’m not going to tell you any more lies, Avery. That was the only one I’ve ever told you. I swear.”

“Oh, that tiny little lie. The only one.”

“I didn’t say it was tiny. It was huge. I can only say I’m sorry so many times. But I am and will always be. I never intended to carry it this far.” He shook his gorgeous head and rubbed his beautiful face. “I, well, there is no excuse.”

“You’re absolutely right on that one. And you swore to me you’d be honest after that harrowing trip here. You lied about that too. I need to leave. But you see, I have a small problem. I’m at your fucking mercy, Preston.” My snarky side emerged in full force, but I didn’t give a damn. He deserved every bit of it and then some.

He flinched a few times when I spoke, but I was past caring anymore. I wanted to get out of here. Everywhere I looked evoked such strong memories of us doing such intimate and erotic things, it left me breathless but not in a good way. I hurt him, even wanted to as much as he’d hurt me. I was egocentric Avery now, and couldn’t have cared less.

“Where do you want to go?”

“The airport.”

“But you don’t even have a flight booked.”

“I’ll book one when I get there.”

“Avery, don’t be crazy. You can book one here and stay until it leaves.”

“No! This is the last place I want to be.” I didn’t give him the opportunity to say anything further for I was out the door and running down the steps. I swiped the back of my hand across my face, clearing the moisture from my vision. Flinging the massive front door open, I charged straight outside and threw my stuff into the back seat of the Jeep, taking a seat back there as well. There was not a chance in hell I was going to sit in the front with him. I’d sit out here all night if I had to, waiting on him.

I didn’t have to after all. He showed up a few minutes later. When he got behind the wheel, he turned and raised a brow at me. I gave no response.

“Avery, please.” His voice was tortured, and his expression pained. I refused to give in. I wanted to, believe me. I wanted to throw myself at him and drag my hands through his hair, lingering at those waves along his nape. I wanted to rest my palms against his heart and feel it beating beneath my hand. I wanted to taste his skin on my tongue, feel his breath against my lips, but I did none of those. And it nearly killed me. My heart and soul were dying a slow and painful death. But I had to let him go. He had destroyed my trust in him, had obliterated it so completely by living that stupid lie. How could I possibly trust my heart with someone who could live a lie so easily as he had?

He turned back around and started the car. As he did so, wrenching sobs filled my body. I laid my head down on the duffle bag and cried the whole way to the airport. When we finally got close, I knew I needed a plan. He’d come inside and try to persuade me one way or another and I couldn’t let that happen. The airport was just ahead, so I made my escape plans. If I didn’t get away from him, I was afraid I’d turn into caramel and melt on the man.

He exited the interstate and followed the signs, indicating we were getting close. If we stopped at a light, I would bail. That way, he wouldn’t have time to park and follow me. For once, luck was on my side and the light turned red right as we approached it. My hand grabbed the handle and damned if it wasn’t locked. I hurried and pulled up the lock manually and tore out of the car as fast as I could. I heard him calling my name, but nothing could get me to stop at this point. Picking up as much speed as my big fat bottom could muster, I huffed and puffed my way to the terminal.United was the first counter I saw, so I headed straight there and asked when and where the next flight was. The agent told me it was headed to Denver and leaving in forty-five minutes. Excellent.

“Do you have any seats left?”

“You’re in luck. It’s an open flight.”

I requested a seat toward the back and then I handed her my ID and credit card. It didn’t take but a few minutes and I was on my way through security. My mind kept seeing images of the last time I flew with Preston, but I forced them down. This wasn’t the time. If I thought too much about it, I’d have a breakdown and couldn’t afford that right now.

Once I cleared security, I exhaled. I must’ve been holding my breath because I literally felt lightheaded. My plane was already boarding, so I headed straight to the gate and walked right on the plane. I headed to the back to take my seat. I wanted to be alone and hopefully no one else would be back there.

Now that I was away from Preston, I started to process everything that had happened. Had I overreacted? Did I do the wrong thing by leaving? My heart was hurting something fierce, but I was livid at what he’d done. How could he have made me think our lives were in danger for all that time just to satisfy his own wants? The whole idea of it all sickened me. There was my answer. I hadn’t overreacted. I buried my head in my hands and cried. It was a good thing the plane was loud so no one could hear my grief-stricken sobs.

Right now, all I wanted to do was to climb into bed and stay there for a week. But I didn’t even have a stupid bed of my own to climb into. I could hear my mother already. “I told you, Avery, you should never have left home. You should’ve listened to me.”

I didn’t dare show my humiliated face in Charleston. That was the last thing I’d ever do. I’d die first before I’d admit defeat. No way would I go home with my tail tucked between my legs.

The flight attendant popped by to see if I wanted something to drink. I asked for a vodka, but she said since the flight was so short, they would only be serving non-alcoholic beverages. What a pity. She was right about the length of the flight. We landed not long afterwards, and I went to the information desk to inquire about a hotel in downtown Denver. I ended up booking a room at a boutique hotel and then rented a car. By the time I checked in, I was a wreck.

When I unpacked my meager belongings, my battered world crashed once again. As I had haphazardly stuffed everything into that duffle, I’d accidentally packed one of Preston’s shirts. At first, I simply stared at it, like it was an alien, getting ready to gobble me alive. Then, I dissolved into a pool of tears, and hugged it to my chest. I smelled his delicious scent as I wrapped it around me, and it made me weep even more. Crawling to the bed, I curled around it and stayed like that for I don’t know how long.

Sometime late the next morning I woke up, still hugging his shirt. Forcing myself to shower, I ordered room service and made a list of things I needed. First off, I’d need a cell phone. The last one I had was at Justin’s, and while I was at Preston’s, I found no need for one. I was also under the impression that I could be tracked if I used one and it would put me in greater danger. Anger spread throughout me as I punched the pillow, thinking of how he had told me another lie. I wonder how many he had concocted to make his story believable. What kind of person did that? Lived on lie after lie and then not be bothered by it? I wouldn’t have been able to sleep at night had I done the same thing to him.

I’d always wondered how people said one could die of a broken heart. I used to think that was such a silly thing. I mean, really. How wrong I had been. No doubt there were people who surely must have died of it. Because I was dying a little bit at a time, slowly, painfully not of a broken heart but of a crushed one. The only thing missing was the blood.

The maid dutifully knocked on my door every day, but I’d send her away after accepting a few bottles of shampoo, conditioner, and a new bar of soap from her. On the fifth day, the management came by and asked if I was okay. I assured them I was, physically anyway. Emotionally, I would never be okay. Realistically, I would, but it would be far in the future, and I’d never be the old Avery again. She was long gone and in her place was someone I wasn’t sure I liked very much, someone who was untrusting, suspicious, and broken. I’d look at myself in the mirror and what I saw saddened me. My face was red and swollen from crying and my eyes looked bruised from too many sleepless nights. Thank God my mother couldn’t see me now.

Two weeks later, I checked out of the hotel and headed to the upcountry of Colorado. I had fallen in love with Vail as a child and maybe I could do so again as a crushed grownup. While I’d lain in bed, I’d reviewed all the options of what I could do. I didn’t want to go back to work in any type of formal career. As I drove up the mountains to either Breckenridge, Vail, or Aspen, I decided to seek a job tending bar. The ski season was right around the corner and what better way to recover than to spend a winter on the slopes?

Breckenridge was the first town along the way, but I decided to forego it and head straight to Vail. I’d always loved the alpine village and what the mountain had to offer as far as skiing went. Once again, I checked into a hotel. This time it was the Grand Ski Lodge. Then I went to work job and apartment hunting. I was lucky because the local bars and restaurants were hiring for the winter season, so landing a job was simple. I was honest about not having tended bar before, but they told me they’d give me a two-week trial period, and if I passed, I was good to go. My first day at Tres Chicas, which was a bar and restaurant right at the base of the main gondola in Vail Village, went well. We weren’t very busy yet, since the season hadn’t officially started. The bartender training me was named Derrick, and luckily, he was very patient.

“Most of your apres-ski drinkers will want ice-cold beer. And of course, since margaritas are our specialty, that will be a huge choice too.”

Derrick taught me all the tricks and I picked it up quite easily. He even told me about a couple of vacant apartments for rent in town. One was literally right around the corner. It was a seasonal rental, which was perfect, and a studio which, again, was ideal. The rent was pricey, but I didn’t give a damn. I had the money, so I went for it.

Stupidity wasn’t one of my strongest suits, so I knew it wouldn’t be long before someone would show up in Vail hunting me down. I hadn’t called anyone, not even Justin. The whole fucking experience was simply too painful for me to think about, much less speak of. So late one afternoon, a week after the season opened, I was working and turned around to see Justin sitting at the bar with a half grin on his face.

“How about a cold one for your thirsty brother, Ava?”