Chapter Four
The air fairly vibrated in the conference room after Brandon flew out the door. Tash stood, utterly confused.
“Does anyone know what that was about?” There were equally perplexed looks on the faces of everyone in the room. He honed in on the one person who might have an answer.
“Gage? You brought him here. Any idea why he freaked out?”
The dark-haired man’s expression was as troubled as Tash felt inside. “Not a clue. Honestly, in the months I’ve known him, he’s always been the most easygoing and calm person.” He shook his head, meeting Tash’s eyes. “I thought he’d be perfect for this program and kind of perfect for you if you want the truth.”
Gage’s words hit Tash like a fist to the solar plexus. “Tell me you didn’t just say that.” Dumbfounded, Tash wanted to crawl into a hole at the thought of discussing his personal life in front of everyone. “You of all people know I’m not looking for a relationship.”
“I know how alone you’ve been.” Gage’s sad eyes held his.
The door opened, and Tash recognized Ash Davis as he walked into the room. He could only imagine how the man, with his dark good looks and commanding presence, held a courtroom captivated, but as usual, Ash had eyes only for his lover, Drew Klein. Ash’s eyes glittered, and his mouth curved in a smile as he advanced on Drew, grabbed him around the waist, and planted a kiss on his lips, oblivious to whatever else was happening in the room.
“Hey, baby.”
Drew slipped his arm around Ash’s waist and hugged him close. “Hi. How was work?”
The two men had a unique connection—a true friendship along with mutual respect, but it was something more. Tash noticed how tightly Ash laced his fingers with Drew’s. It was as if he wasn’t comfortable unless Drew was touching him, Tash mused.
Knowing a bit of the horrors of both Ash’s and Luke’s childhoods, Tash wasn’t surprised Ash had found love and a home with the Klein family. They were the most accepting group of people he’d been fortunate enough to come across. It almost made up for their constant attempts to set him up all the time. He knew they wanted him to be as happy as they all were.
“Best thing I can say is that the day is done, and it’s one step closer to the weekend.” Ash tossed his coat onto an empty chair and headed over to the coffee. “Did the meeting end already?”
“Rather abruptly, I’m afraid. And much sooner than we thought.” Gage joined Ash at the coffeepot. “I thought one of my colleagues was interested, but before we had a chance to start, something freaked him out, and he ran out of here like a bat out of hell.”
Ash stirred sugar into his coffee. “Must have been the guy who almost ran me over as I was coming in. What could you all have said to set him off like that?”
Tash thought back to the conversation. “Everything was fine until Drew mentioned we’d have to go to the police and the schools if we found abuse.”
The smile vanished from Ash’s face, and his eyes dimmed. “Yeah, well, that’s a definite. We all regret not doing that with Steve. Keith died, and Drew and Jordan’s friendship almost blew apart because of it.”
From treating Jordan’s Xanax addiction, Tash knew Jordan’s anxiety issues had stemmed partially from the fact that he’d held back from telling Drew he blamed him somewhat for Keith’s death. It took nine months of festering hurt before Jordan’s anger and anguish had reached a boiling point, and the two had a heart-to-heart discussion. Fortunately, their thirty-year friendship had survived, but Tash knew they still worked on the aftermath of their shared pain.
“Agreed.” Tash directed his attention to Gage. “What do you know of his background? You said Randy is a relatively new teacher at the school, right?” He chose to ignore Gage’s earlier remark about Randy being good for him. Aside from Tash not wanting a relationship, the man was too young for him. He looked to be no more than in his mid-twenties.
“He is,” admitted Gage. “And he’s young enough to have that natural connection with the students. He came from the Department of Education’s Teaching Collaborative program, which I know for a fact means he didn’t go the traditional route to his teaching career.”
“You think he has a past, and that’s why he’s so tuned into the kids, right?” Ash gazed at Gage with shrewd eyes. That was the lawyer in him, Tash could tell. He knew from talk how quick Ash was in the courtroom. The man never met a challenge he didn’t relish taking on headfirst.
“Yeah, no question in my mind.”
Having seen Randy’s reaction and the absolute fear in his eyes, Tash thought it was more than a past involving personal abuse. He believed Randy was hiding something.
“You won’t be able to force him, you know.” Tash spoke to not only Ash and Gage but everyone in the room. “If he’s this skittish, it might do him more harm and send him running not only from this program but from his job as well.”
“No way will he abandon those kids.” Gage shook his head, his voice adamant. “He told me the other day about two of the seventh graders he’s been tutoring on the side, separately from his own students. How proud he’s been of them for standing up to the other kids who tease them for liking school and doing their work.” Gage’s jaw set in a hard line. “He cares too much, and even if there is something in his past, I don’t give a shit. That man is a born teacher.”
“Take it easy, Gage.” Tash soothed his friend. “I’m trying to figure out how to reel Randy back in, not find out his past. Believe me, we’ve all made mistakes we’d like to change if we had a second chance.”
“And some of us need to stop beating ourselves up over things that were beyond our control. People need to want help, you know?”
And suddenly, Tash knew they weren’t talking about Randy. They were talking about Daniel. He was always there between him and Gage. Danny might have been Tash’s lover, but he was also Gage’s brother, and his death had devastated Gage.
What started out as a night to help kids with problems had now turned into a project to help the teacher. Hard as Tash fought against it, Randy piqued his interest. Those deep green eyes, so wary and defensive, sent out a message of Don’t touch, hands off . In Tash’s professional opinion, it wasn’t a natural fear of the unknown. Randy had looked scared to death. The way he’d bolted from the room at the mention of the authorities only reinforced Tash’s belief of Randy’s past legal problems.
The man projected an air of loneliness, highlighting his vulnerability and sweetness. It wasn’t only Randy’s beautiful eyes and aura of pain that drew Tash in; from the first, Tash had a physical reaction to him, an awareness of Randy’s presence. Tash had always been a sucker for the wounded, and he itched to help the young man.
“Maybe I should talk to him, alone, away from this environment. He might have socialization issues we aren’t aware of and handle one-on-one better.”
“Good idea.” Ash gazed at him with frank approval. “I know I speak not only for myself but for Luke as well when I say it’s intimidating for people with personal problems to be confronted by a group of strangers, even friendly, well-meaning ones.” He slid his arm around Drew’s shoulders. “I’m lucky to have Drew, who stuck by me and wouldn’t let me hide.” Those glittering gray eyes held Tash’s gaze. “It only takes one person, the right person, to break down the walls you surround yourself with, to force you to see the truth.”
“And in your case, the truth set you free?” Tash couldn’t help but smile.
Ash’s return smile transformed his face. “My truth is Drew. He’s the one who freed me.”
Drew kissed Ash’s cheek. “I love you.” Still within the circle of Ash’s arms, Drew directed his attention to Tash. “Help Randy, Tash. I know what you did for Jordan. You forced him to face the truth of his addiction, freeing him to love Luke.”
“I’ll try, but he has to want it. That’s the key.” This was what he’d been missing lately. Tash’s blood ran hot with purpose, and he itched with the desire to work, to help someone so obviously lonely and scared. Jordan had needed Tash for the medical treatment, it was true, but it was Luke who’d helped him emotionally, and in return, Jordan helped Luke find his way back to life and Ash.
“You can do it.” Gage squeezed his arm, but the confidence placed in him felt unwarranted, considering how miserably Tash had failed his brother.
“I’ll have to move carefully.” Tash thought for a moment. Ideally, he’d like to talk to Randy alone.
“When does he finish class tomorrow? Maybe I should stop by the school and talk to him.” There was something to be said for a bit of a surprise attack. And if done on Randy’s home turf, he might be more willing to talk.
“I think he’s done at three thirty or four. That’s a great idea to come to him. I’m telling you, I know you two will hit it off.” The excitement in Gage’s voice both amused and annoyed Tash.
“I’m doing it for Randy and the kids, you know. I’m not looking to get laid.”
“Don’t know why not,” grumbled Gage. “Not like you couldn’t use a little action.”
“Screw you.” Tash’s halfhearted attempt at a comeback was met with a grin.
“Sorry, you don’t have the parts I like, although you do have a cute ass.”
Gage’s good humor broke the tension in the room, and the meeting ended on a high note. Tash took down the school’s address and left the Clinic for home, for the first time in a long time feeling as though he had a purpose.
~ ~
The next afternoon, Tash waited by the entrance of Randy’s school. It was easy to spot him in the after-school crowd of students, parents, and other school administrators. At least for Tash it was, as Randy drew the light around him like a golden nimbus. There was true joy in his face as a child showed him a paper she clutched in her hand. It must’ve been a test with a good score; as Randy gave her a high five, his face lit up with a smile. Not one of those that’s-great-now-can-I-leave fake smiles, but one of pure happiness with what he was doing. Tash knew he was seeing a man who truly loved his job and was meant to teach.
Then Randy spotted him, and all that beautiful happiness fled his face. Instantly the fearful, wary look Tash remembered from the night before returned to draw a dark veil over those laughing eyes. As Tash approached Randy, he could almost see the man girding for battle. Randy’s shoulders drew together, and he widened his stance, bracing himself.
Tash decided to take the friendly, non-confrontational approach. After all, Randy really didn’t know who the hell he was. “Hi.” Tash gazed up at the man, who remained at the top of the steps. “I hoped we could talk.”
A muscle ticked in Randy’s smooth jawline, sending his skin jumping. Tash had a crazy urge to press his mouth to all that soft-looking skin.
“What about? And why you?” Randy’s fair brows drew together in confusion. “I was going to tell Gage I don’t think I’m the right fit.”
“Because it’s my program, and I think you’re the perfect fit. Let me try and convince you, okay? Have coffee with me? No strings attached. Hear me out, and then if you still don’t want to work with us, I’ll go away.”
Tash held his breath, watching as a myriad of emotions played over Randy’s handsome face. “It’s not that big of a deal,” Tash pressed gently. “It’s only coffee.”
“All right, I guess.” Randy joined him at the foot of the steps. “When, now?” He hefted his backpack on his shoulder.
“Yes. There’s a nice, quiet coffee shop near my house where we can talk. Unless…” An idea popped into his head. “Do you like cats?” At Randy’s nod, Tash smiled. “Would you mind coming to my house? I need to check on my devils. They’re a little overwhelming, and I hate leaving them alone all day. I’ve been with patients since early this morning and I’m afraid they might tear the house apart if I leave them alone much longer.”
“I don’t know.” Randy hedged, shifting on his feet. Tash feared the man was about to bolt again.
“Come on. I’m a doctor. You can trust me. I promise not to bite.”
A blush crept up Randy’s neck, and Tash winked at him. He couldn’t help it. The guy was adorable—a caring individual and incredibly good-looking. The complete package.
“All right.”
“I have my car and can drive you home afterward.” Tash indicated the small SUV parked at the corner. “Consider it added incentive.”
Randy chuckled, transforming his somber face back into that younger, alive-looking man Tash had seen earlier when Randy stood surrounded by the children. A crazy thought popped into Tash’s head.
I like his smile. I’d like to be the one to put a smile on his face and keep it there.
“Sounds good. Thanks.”
Tash unlocked the car, and they climbed inside and drove off, bouncing along the ruts in the streets. He decided to hold off on any questions, even though Randy was a trapped audience inside the moving car. Within twenty minutes, he pulled into the garage across the street from his home. Randy hadn’t moved since they began the trip to the Heights, remaining silent, white-knuckling the straps on his backpack.
“We’re here. Come on.” Tash exited the car, Randy trailing behind him.
Carefully opening the door to prevent the cats from slipping out, Tash entered the house, speaking over his shoulder to Randy, who hung back. “I can’t leave the door open because these demons might run out. Hurry up.”
Randy moved behind him, standing close enough for Tash to sense his body heat. “How many do you have?”
The air stirred around him as Randy’s breath drifted past his ear. Tash’s body unexpectedly hardened. A delicious frisson rocketed through him. For five years, desire had lain fairly dormant within him, his blood running thick and sluggish in his veins. Somehow, this unassuming man had awakened what he’d thought was gone forever.
“Uh, there are two, although most days it feels like double that. That’s Cleopatra, and her brother is Caesar.” He pointed to the two lithe bodies stretched out on his sofa, their almond-shaped turquoise eyes daring him to remove them from their throne.
“Great names.” Randy grinned, his concentration on the cats.
“They are devils more than royalty, but they keep me company.” Tash strode over to the sofa and picked up Caesar, who immediately began to squirm and yowl. “Behave now; we have company,” Tash murmured to the cat, fully believing the animal understood.
As if to prove his point, Caesar ceased his howling and stared at Randy, who reached out to pet him with hesitant fingers. To Tash’s ultimate shock, Caesar not only accepted the petting but head-butted Randy’s hand and began to struggle to get down from Tash’s arms. When Tash set him down, the cat wended his way around Randy’s legs like a cream-colored snake. Cleo, loathe to miss any action, joined her brother. Tash could only gape at his usually aloof cats as they lavished attention on this stranger.
“Come on and sit down. I can give you that coffee if you want, but I also have beer and wine.” The guy could use a drink. Randy sat stiffly on the sofa, his rigid posture once again betraying his nerves. What the heck was the guy so scared of? Maybe he was in hiding from an ex-lover. Tash’s intrigue grew. “Relax. I’m not going to interrogate you.”
“Coffee’s fine, honest.” Randy’s husky voice, that suede-over-sandpaper sound, shot straight to Tash’s groin. Without even trying, he projected a sexy-yet-vulnerable air. What the hell was going on with him? He’d never had this kind of attraction toward anyone before. But even as he struggled inwardly with his suddenly reawakened libido, Tash imagined what Randy tasted like. Tash made the coffee, a cinnamon blend he loved, and brought a tray with two thick cream-colored mugs, a small carafe of milk, sugar, and a plate of hazelnut biscotti. He was a firm believer that one should never drink coffee without a little something sweet.
“Here. Help yourself.” He placed the tray on the coffee table, and they busied themselves with the milk and biscotti. The cats, who had settled themselves on either side around Randy, watched their movements with avid, gleaming eyes.
He and Randy settled back on opposite ends of the sofa. “So,” Tash began. Immediately, Randy tensed, his hand gripping the coffee mug tight, but Tash continued, determined to be as direct as possible. “Do you care to tell me why you’re scared to death?”