Erik (Knights Wrath MC #5)
CHAPTER ONE
Grant
To say the last few days have been eventful is an understatement. We had all still been at the hospital early the next morning when a doctor came and spoke with Erik, telling him about a bad car accident that had happened on the road coming down from the mountain. Seems his parents were actually coming to the hospital, but there was a terrible accident between their vehicle and a log truck. His fucking crazy father was killed instantly, but his mom is here at the hospital. She’s not gonna make it, but he is waiting for his sister to wake up to say her goodbyes. All I want to do is grab Erik and hug him to me, to have him feel his emotions and know I’m there for him, but he’s withdrawn inside himself. He hasn’t talked to me but for one or two-word answers. He’s spoken to Mitch, his best friend since sixth grade, but he’s basically only said one to two-word answers to him, too. The only ones he’s said more to are the doctors and Jonah. I think he’s only talking to Jonah since he refuses to leave Linnea’s side, so Erik has to deal with him.
Mitch just walked into the waiting room with coffee for both of us and his ever-present cinnamon toothpick in his mouth. Wyatt and Jackson went home a couple of hours ago to catch a few hours of sleep. We’ve decided to take shifts, so there’s always a couple of us here in case either Jonah or Erik needs anything. He hands me the coffee and sits down. He leans back and starts to speak. “I think the jackass is going to try to push us away, and we can’t fucking let him. We gotta remind him that we’re here for the good and bad and that he’s just fucking stuck with us.”
Damn straight he is. “I think you’re right, brother. He’s going to do somethin’ like that.”
A few hours later, Erik comes out and lets us know that she’s awake and they’re going to take Linnea up to say goodbye to their mom. I can tell he’s been crying, and it kills me to not reach out and touch him. “I think they’re gonna let my sister go home probably tomorrow or the next since she’s awake.” He looks like he’s got a million things running through his mind. “I know Anna’s mom wants to take her home with her to take care of her, but I’m not sure if that’s what Linnea wants. If she wants to be home, I’m gonna look out for her. We don’t gotta worry about the house since it’s the one thing I know Father paid off. I could give two fucks about anything up the mountain. I ain’t ever gonna go back up there, and neither is my sister.”
Jonah comes out a few minutes later to let Erik know that the nurses are getting Linnea ready to go see their mom. He heads back to be with his sister.
Jonah looks at us. “Linnea is gonna be released tomorrow or the next day. Need you two to check on the fuckers we’ve got in the shed. They need to be alive but hurting. Erik and I are both going to want a chance with them.” He sighs and takes a moment to think. “If this isn’t something you’re comfortable with, that’s fine. I know I’m asking a lot of—”
I bump his shoulder to get him to stop talking. “Brother, you know we’re gonna do this with you. What they did…it ain’t right, and you know they gotta pay. Karma’s gonna get a little help this time, and I’m perfectly happy to be there to do it.” Jonah looks over at Mitch, who rolls his eyes at Jonah. “Those aren’t men. They’re scum who the world needs to be rid of. I’m all for helping. We can’t let them continue to breathe and have a chance at doin’ this to some other girl one day.” After a few more minutes of discussion, Mitch and I head out to make sure our current guests stay breathing for just a little while longer.
Erik
It’s been a couple of days since those fuckers were sent to start their eternity with Hel. Mamma passed and was able to help several people with her organs being donated, which is what she would’ve wanted. Linnea is home, though Jonah has crashed here every night to care for her. I haven’t gone back to work yet, but I will, probably, tomorrow. Linnea insists that she can be by herself during the day.
We’ve decided we’re probably gonna sell the house as neither of us really wants to live here long-term. I can see she’s going to end up going with Jonah, and I have to find a place for myself. Time to make sure I take care of the family I have left. I was sitting at the table this morning when it hit me. I’m the last of our family. If I don’t marry and have kids, our family name dies with me. What I haven’t figured out is if that would be a good thing.
I’ve been avoiding Grant. I know it, and I know he knows it. Fuck if I know what to do. I know my heart and my head are not agreeing, and I don’t know which one is going to win. I can’t keep my father’s voice out of my head, either. I think I’m completely royally fucked.
Grant
I’m done with him ignoring me. First, at the hospital, he barely acknowledged me with a word or two, but I fucking know he was home yesterday when I called, and he didn’t answer. I know he’s been through some horrible shit in the last week and a half, but fuck. He needs to know he can lean on me and that I’m here for him unconditionally. I would’ve gone over first thing this morning, but my fucking mother was actually awake and demanding shit this morning. Dad had gone to work, and who knows where my sister was hiding this time? I was supposed to have moved out by now, but she fucked that up. I ain’t gonna let that happen again. It’s time for me to leave and not have to deal with her drunk ass every day that she actually manages to be conscious.
I know he’s home alone ‘cause Jonah was taking Linnea to an appointment today. Erik better fucking answer the door. His fine but stubborn ass needs to talk to me. I take a ride and take the long way around town to his place, needing to get my head in the right space and away from the anger my mom always brings out in me.
I pull up in front of Erik’s house. I can see his bike in the driveway. I know he’s home. I park and head up the walk, knocking with more force than probably is needed. A minute later, the door opens, and a glaring Erik stands in the doorway. “Are you trying to fucking break down the door or what?”
What’s his problem? “No, I ain’t trying to break the door, but that right there, is more fucking words than you’ve said to me in over a fucking week. You and I both know you’ve been fucking avoiding me.” I’m on a roll. I can tell he’s about to say something, so I hold my hand up and keep talking. “I know you’ve had some serious shit goin’ on, but that’s the time to lean on people who fucking care about you. I’m here. I’m here and want to be the one you can lean on. I want to be—”
Erik looks conflicted, like he’s at war with himself. He starts shaking his head and interrupts me. “I can’t…I just…this…whatever this is…I just can’t.” He could’ve slapped me, and I would’ve been less shocked.
“What the fuck are you saying, Erik? You can’t tell me you didn’t feel something…that you didn’t feel just how right it was every time we…” I quit talking and show him by leaning in and kissing him with everything I can’t put into words. I reach up to touch his cheeks as I kiss him, hoping he gets just how good things could really be between us. Before I can break the kiss, I’m shoved back and barely catch myself from falling.
“No! I can’t do this!”
What the fuck?
I can’t help but look at his lips and know he was just kissing me back as much as I was kissing him. “What the fuck are you trying to say? Are you really trying to tell me you didn’t like me holding you, kissing you, and…”
He makes a fist with both hands, and I swear his face goes from conflicted to expressionless. I know at this moment, whatever we had growing between us is gone. He’s burying it just like every other feeling he’s had this past week.
“There’s gonna be nothin’ more than friendship between us. That’s all I’m willing to offer. If you aren’t okay with it, then it’s on you, and you’ll be throwing away our friendship. I gotta protect the family I got left and the name my parents left me.”
Erik
I watch Grant go from shocked to pissed off. He doesn’t get it. What I wanted ceased to matter when Mamma and Father died. It became my job to take care of Linnea and our family name. I have to be the man who does that. As much as I know I more than just like him, I just can’t. I can’t risk losing what little I have left because people can’t handle two guys together, no matter how right things felt between us. I can see Grant wants to yell and maybe even hit me. He doesn’t stop staring at me for over a minute.
“Don’t fucking use your sister as an excuse. You’re scared, plain and simple. I ain’t gonna toss our friendship away like you just tossed what we had started building between us away. Don’t fucking expect me to wait around for you to figure out what a big mistake you just made. I may come from shit, but I deserve someone who’s fucking strong enough to admit that they love me. Someday, you’re gonna realize that living your life, being afraid of what might happen, ain’t no way to live. Just don’t expect me to be available when you do, friend .”
He turns around and storms off toward his bike, not giving me a chance to say anything back. What could I say? He’s not wrong, but fuck if I have it in me to call after him and tell him I’m wrong. I think I’m gonna be smacked with that reality for the rest of my life.