Estranged Heart

Epilogue

Elijah

As I’m handing a customer her bag, the door chimes open. Silas thought it was a good idea to add a bell to the door in case we had one of our moments where we forgot where we were, and so I wouldn’t keep customers waiting for too long during his late-night visits to my office. I have to admit it was a really good idea, but my heart does perk up each time, hoping I’ll see my favorite pair of bright blue eyes whenever I look at the door.

It’s more likely to happen now, with his new flower shop next door. The old empty building finally went up for rent and Silas wasted no time sealing the deal with them, paying four months in advance. Always so in the moment and full of hope. Both obviously work well for him, with his business blooming in only a matter of months while also making my little bookshop more noticeable.

The bag crinkles between our hands and I pull back, resting my hand on the counter. “Thank you for coming by again. Enjoy your new books,” I tell the smiling woman, while looking over her shoulder. Silas is wearing a big smile and holding a medium-sized gift bag in his hand with a snowman on the front.

“Thank you. I’ll definitely be back in time for the winter sale.” She winks, only holding my attention for a few seconds before my sunshine steals it away again. As soon as the woman exits the shop, Silas sets the bag in front of me. “I got you something a little early. I wanted you to be able to wear it to Jessa’s Christmas party this weekend.”

“Did you now?” I finger the tissue paper and drag the bag closer, peeking between the separating green and red paper.

“Go on,” he urges me, his lips turning up more. “Open it. I want to see if it fits.”

His words heighten my curiosity and I yank the tissue free, lifting up a red, green, and white sweater. Stretching out the uneven arms, I laugh, my eyes falling down to the green Christmas tree stitched in the center. “I love it.”

“Yeah?” His eyes lift, a little bit of pink tinting his cheeks from the cold.

“Yeah. I do. It’s perfect.” I slide the sweater on over my shirt, the imperfections less noticeable when clinging tightly to my body. “I think you’re getting better.”

“Yeah, your head fits through the neck hole this time.” We both laugh and I tug him by his chin, bringing his lips closer to mine. He tastes like peppermint and cranberry, smelling of poinsettias and pine, the familiar carnation scent hidden beneath it all. His favorite flower is one most people hate receiving. No surprise there, not when coming from the man who wants to spend extra time getting wet and who jumps head first into dark, freezing water in the winter. No bad weather stops him from getting in his weekly swims. Nothing stops him from getting what he wants, not even when he has to suffer a little bad before getting his good.

“I love it, I really do, and I love you.” I press a quick kiss to his cold, wiggly nose.

His eyes sparkle and I get lost in the happiness glowing in those dark blues, wanting to keep it there forever. To keep him right where he is forever, his hands getting lost in my hair and his body pressing to mine.

“I love you too.”

My heart warms. I’ll never get tired of hearing him say those words. I went from a decade of them not being reciprocated, to spending the last year having them whispered in my ear every single day. I didn’t think it was important to hear them, that just feeling someone’s love was enough, but Silas makes those three little words sound like the whole damn world.

He tugs a piece of unraveling yarn from one of my sleeves. “It could definitely use some more work.” He laughs and I tuck in the strand. “We all could sometimes. Doesn’t make it any less wonderful.”

The door rings and a group of people rush in, shivering from the cold. The weather has been stranger than usual, with a major cold front coming in today out of nowhere. Laughing and chatting away to one another, the new customers browse the romance section and Silas keeps pointing out everything he needs to fix on my new sweater.

When the store is empty again, I allow him to tug off the snug garment to toss it back in the bag.

“Did you close up shop already?” I ask, pulling him closer to me, and he brushes his lips over mine.

“I did an hour ago. Claudia is shutting everything down. She told me to go ahead and bother my fiancé early.”

“I always did like Claudia more than your other employees.” I tease the bulge in his jeans with my fingers.

Blushing, he swats at my hand. “Hey, now. You’re still open, you know.”

I glance down at my watch and look at the door. “Only for thirty more minutes. I sent everyone home a little early since I felt I could handle the last hour alone.”

“You’re not alone, though.” He waggles his brows and fuck, I want him so bad right now. That’s nothing new, though. My hunger only grows the longer I’m around him, and that’s why there was no hesitation when I stumbled upon the perfect ring for him in a jewelry store a month ago. I popped the question at the Christmas tree lighting, knowing how much he loves Christmas and big declarations of love in movies. Luckily he said yes and didn’t leave me waiting for an answer for too long, his whole face lighting up brighter than the displays around us.

“You’re right, I’m not. I have my sunshine, even late at night and while it’s snowing outside.” I glance at the white specks falling from the sky and his eyes shine with wonder.

“What? It’s snowing? Here in Austin?” His voice squeaks as he does a quick head spin, jumping in place. “It is. It really is.” His eyes flit back toward me. “Will you dance with me?”

I tilt my head, warmth scattering up my arm when he grabs my hand. “Right now? In the snow?”

“Yeah.” He bats his long lashes, tugging at my fingers.

“But it’s freezing.”

“I know, and we’re able to be in it long enough to hate it.”

“That we are.” A smile plays on my lips. Though he might occasionally have rough days, when fighting off small colds and dealing with med side effects, he’s had more good days than bad. He goes for weekly swims and long walks on the trail whenever he gets restless on days he’s off work alone. Driving has been going well for him and so has handling busy days at the flower shop.

“Let’s go see if we can.” He bounces on his feet, wrapping his hand-crocheted scarf tighter around his neck.

Once I have my coat on, he drags me out the front door, not taking me too far past the sidewalk. Twirling around me while holding my hand, he catches snow on the tip of his tongue, and I tug on his hair, crashing our lips together. Taking turns spinning each other around, we dance as flurries fly around us. White dust covers the ground and our shoes skid against the snow.

Cold air nips at my cheeks and my legs are numb. I shiver and icicles coat my beard, making me look forward to each time Silas pulls me into him. The next time he does, I hold him still, warmth sparking between our tightly pressed bodies, and when he tries to dance away from me again I say, “Come here,” yanking him back. “I want some more good to go with my bad.”

His warm breath ghosts over my lips and I devour his mouth with mine, seeking more hot kisses. He makes freezing my ass off worth it. I appreciate each explosion of him in my mouth and the feel of his hand sliding inside my shirt, waking up my skin. I couldn’t hate being out here if I tried, not with him standing in front of me, making delicious promises with his needy body. Nothing is bad about being out here anymore. Not a single damn thing.

“Should we go home?” His voice is husky.

“Yeah, but only because I want to see if candy canes taste good on you everywhere.”

“You hate candy canes,” he says, wearing a smug smile.

“Yeah, but apparently not when I have you mixed with them. My good with my bad.”

“The bad is supposed to make you appreciate the good more,” he says pointedly. “The good isn’t supposed to make you like the bad more.”

“What if there is no bad when it comes to you?” I hold him tighter, rubbing my thumb over his cheek.

“That’s impossible.”

“Really? Because someone has shown me many times that nothing is impossible.” I lean into him, brushing our noses together.

“Then let’s go home and see if I can fully change your mind about candy canes.”

“Let’s.”

I count the register and lock up the store as he warms up the car. Though he has no issues being behind the wheel, there’s no sense in us both driving when we’re coming to the same place. He’s sitting in the passenger seat when I slide into the car, holding a wrapped candy cane between his fingers. His tongue peeks out between his lips as I pull out of the parking lot, tossing the gifted sweater on the back seat.

“What are you doing?” I ask, feeling the seat belt tighten around my tensing muscles as he lifts his shirt, exposing his hard nipples.

“Getting a head start so we don’t have to wait too long to begin the taste testing.” He rubs the wet part of the striped candy over each hard nub while unbuttoning his pants. I almost commit several traffic violations before we finally reach our house, my cock aching beneath the confines of my jeans. I drive into our garage, my eyes unable to avert from his direction as he starts grinding his cock against the candy cane.

Not waiting for the doors to close behind us, I undo my seat belt and slide my mouth down his cock, mint bursting on my taste buds. I lick down his base and back up his swollen crown, adding a little suction. Precum blends with the candy, and I’m so hungry for more I lap faster, licking every inch of his silky skin.

He pants, bucking his hips and sliding his fingers through my hair. I take him all the way down my throat, constricting around his pulsing cock. He goes tense, moans echoing around us as he shoots hot ropes of cum down my throat. I swallow as much of him as I can, licking my lips as I pull off him with a soft pop.

His eyes are glossed over and his lips are parted. The candy cane is still in his hand and I swipe my tongue over the top, not done mixing the two together tonight. He’s the perfect pairing to everything. I might even let him convince me to leave the ground one day without considering saying no. All I think about is him being there too, and so far it’s been enough. I’m pretty sure it always will be.

“So?” He pants. “Did I change your mind about candy canes?”

“I think the only way to really be sure is for me to taste it on you some more.”

His pupils are blown. “There’s nothing wrong with being sure.” He licks his lips and I slide the candy cane down the back of his pants, resting it cozily between his cheeks, teasing his entrance with the tip.

“No, nothing wrong with being sure at all.” And I know that’s always something I’ll be with him.