Chapter 17
17
A s May progressed into June, Joan threw herself into working her job at the rehab hospital, treating herself for her vagina problem, and squeezing in time with her family and friends as much as possible. She’d also been helping with transportation for her brother and father’s physical therapy appointments, along with offering her mother assistance with household chores, cooking, and caring for Ben. She wondered when she would collapse with exhaustion. Lucas had been busy with the baseball team, who ended up winning the regional tournament, so she saw him less frequently. Which was probably just as well. There was something oddly charged about their conversation in her living room, and it clouded her thoughts. An alarming undercurrent of sexual tension had arrived on the scene like a drunken elephant.
On a particularly balmy Saturday in early June, she parked herself at an outdoor table for her monthly girls' brunch.
“I know we all talk about the weather too much,” Kendall said as she stationed herself next to Joan. “But damn, I wasn’t ready for this.” She fanned herself.
Joan nodded her agreement as she sipped on her ice water. They’d driven out of Louisville for this brunch, to a more rural spot, where shallow breaths of wind exhaled from the horizon and subdued the solid heat bearing down like a steaming iron. Despite the oppressiveness of the summer, Joan did love the distinct change of seasons in Kentucky. Autumn was a particular gift—like someone set fire to the state and swirled eddies of color over the terrain, the cool weather such a relief from summer you wanted to dance.
Maria and Gwen joined them. Gwen pushed her sunglasses down over the bridge of her nose to peer at Joan. “That dress is amazing. You should wear it every day.”
Joan beamed. She’d put some effort into her appearance. Her hair lay in loose curls and a deep blue sundress hit her at mid thigh. She sported a light tan from a couple of afternoons spent poolside. Her heels would have made her feel like a hulking giant in high school, but she’d finally embraced making herself taller.
“You guys are looking beautiful yourselves.” She glanced at Maria. “Neon yellow is absolutely your color.”
Maria lowered herself into her chair with a groan. “Thanks,” she said. “That boot camp kicked my ass this morning, though. I cannot wait for some banana pancakes.” She rolled her shoulders.
Their cozy foursome settled into familiar chatter, which always involved work talk, of course, before branching into various side discussions. She chatted with Maria, but turned to Kendall when she heard a snippet of her exchange with Gwen.
“Isn’t it wild that we live on a planet?” Kendall was saying. “Sometimes I can’t believe it, how we’re just out floating in space.”
Joan turned from Maria. “What the hell are you guys talking about?”
“I went stargazing with some old coworkers last night.” Kendall’s eyes gleamed. “I just can’t get over it sometimes, how huge our universe is. I might have to change my career.”
“I think she must have gotten high or something.” Gwen speared a lemon and dropped it into her water.
“I’m in awe. Can’t I be high on, you know, wonder?”
“Your accent’s adorable when you get excited,” Gwen said.
Kendall flipped her off.
They discussed Kendall’s revelations for a few minutes, laughing again at the way Kendall dragged her long “i’s” in the phrase “night sky.” Joan updated everyone on her family as they talked.
“I broke up with Jackie,” Gwen announced during the next lull in conversation. She clamped her lips together, having shocked the whole table, including herself.
“Wow.” Joan had been in the middle of drizzling ketchup over her potatoes, but she put down the bottle and looked around the table. “So that’s big news. Are you okay?”
“I’m great. Honest. It was long overdue.” She picked at her poppyseed muffin. “I know you guys didn’t like her, and you were right. She treated me like shit.”
Joan and Maria started to protest this characterization, but Kendall chimed in.
“She did treat you like dirt,” Kendall said. “I’m happy for you.”
“Yeah, me too. I’m not even sad now. I’m mostly relieved,” Gwen said.
Suddenly, Maria covered her face with her hands. When she pulled them away, tears tracked down her cheeks.
“I swear I’m okay, Maria,” Gwen said, looking confused. “Don’t worry about me.”
“It’s not that,” Maria said, swiping quickly under her eyes. “Although I’m sorry you were ever sad.” She took a deep, shuddering breath. “Jay and I broke up too.”
Joan gasped. Gwen’s mouth opened into a frozen circle.
“What the fuck?!” Kendall shouted, and Maria flinched. “Sorry, sorry. That was a terrible reaction. But Maria, what happened? You guys were talking marriage. You were perfect. In love. Right?”
“Those are good questions.” Maria still wiped tears away. She adjusted her satin headband, as though having her hair in place might offer fortification. “We’ve had problems for a while, actually.”
“What sort of problems?” Kendall had softened her voice.
“We started bickering a lot,” Maria said. “We also disagreed on big picture stuff. There was no infidelity or anything. I still think he’s a good man. He’s just not my man, I guess.”
“God,” Kendall said. “I feel lost. Why didn’t you tell us?”
Maria shrugged. “I wanted to, but I knew it was going to be a whole thing. I didn’t know how to begin.”
“I’m sorry,” Joan said. “I feel like I should have known something was up. So what do you need now?”
“Nothing,” Maria said, and Joan leveled a stubborn look at her.
“For the record, there is nothing you could ask me for that would be an imposition. We are here for you. No pressure, but we would do anything if you needed it.”
“I know.” Maria fiddled with her headband again. “I wouldn’t intentionally keep anything from any of you. But I’m grateful you’re here.”
She squeezed Joan’s hand, then signaled their server for another beverage.
They sat in silence for a bit, mourning. The breeze stirred Joan’s hair.
“I’m glad we weren’t living together,” Maria said. “No wonder I hesitated about that. I must have known.” She directed a glance at Gwen. “Also, I’m sorry for eclipsing your break up news. I feel like I rolled right over you there.”
Gwen shook her head vehemently.
“Jackie and I were together for what, nine months? That’s hardly anything. You and Jay were a fixture.” She bit into a tomato, and juice dribbled onto her white blouse. “What a sorry bunch we are.”
“God,” Kendall said again. “This is horrid timing, but I have a guy I wanted Joan to meet. I was going to bring it up here, if you’re still interested.” She threw Joan an expectant glance.
“I’m not sure.” Joan lifted her hair off her sweaty neck, letting the cool breeze brush her skin. At this rate, she’d have to shower again. “Now that I know love isn’t real.”
Maria supplied a watery laugh. “You should go,” she said. “Someone here should be having fun.”
“Maybe.” She considered it for a moment. Given that Martin was a bust, this man could be an improvement. “Who’s the guy?”
Kendall sipped her orange juice with an innocent expression. Joan’s stomach tightened.
“He’s one of our physicians,” she said, and Joan grumbled. Kendall worked at an orthopedic clinic, and Joan didn’t want to stereotype, but historically she’d had less than ideal interactions with ortho docs. She knew they could be upstanding people, but she definitely had a bias.
“Is he, like, a bro?” Gwen asked, echoing Joan’s thoughts. “I’m sure he’s a catch. But you know what I mean.”
Kendall laughed.
“He’s only a little bro-y,” she said. “And he’s also super considerate.”
“You sure you aren’t interested yourself?” Maria’s tears had dried and her face had returned to normal, almost like she’d never been upset in the first place. Which, that was Maria. “I mean, I’m done dating coworkers. Too fraught. But I bet it wouldn’t bother you even if it went south.”
“I don’t think of him that way.” Kendall’s face pulled down. “Here’s the thing, though. I mentioned to him that I have a lovely single friend who might be at that bourbon fair tonight, and he said he planned on going as well.”
Joan choked on her sweet tea.
“Tonight?” She covered her mouth to cough.
“I’ll go with you,” Kendall said. “It’s a group thing. Obviously you ladies are welcome too,” she continued, glancing around the table. “If I had known I had three single friends, I might have considered all of you first.”
Joan scooted a piece of bacon through her remaining syrup.
“I had planned to clean my apartment tonight,” she said. “But fine, I’m in.”
“Whatcha up to tonight?”
Joan propped her hip against her bathroom counter as she applied the last swipe of mascara. Lucas’s deep voice issued from her speakerphone and echoed around the space.
“Street festival with Kendall,” she said. “Which should be interesting. She’s trying to set me up with a physician from her work.”
Lucas remained silent on the other end for a moment.
“No shit? I bet we’re headed to the same place, then. The one downtown, right? You need a ride?”
Joan’s cheeks heated. His words would have been innocuous only a month ago, but after all their recent discussions about her sex life, they rang with double entendre. Which, what the hell? This was her buddy Lucas.
“Kendall’s meeting me here, so if you don’t mind taking her, too, that would be fabulous. Saves us some money.” She gave her hair one last fluff before strolling into her living room. “Unless you’d rather just share a cab.”
“Nah,” Lucas said. “I’ll taste some bourbon, but I’m keeping it low key tonight. I’ve got some early morning pitching lessons.”
“We plan to leave in thirty minutes. Can you be here then?”
“On my way,” he said.