Exile

Chapter 19

DARWYNN

Dinner was tense but civil. Mom chose to go to the small, quiet restaurant that she loved, a cozy place with dim lighting and soft music playing in the background. The conversation remained on safe topics. We talked about how the food tasted, a funny memory from my childhood, and small talk that filled the silence but didn’t quite ease the tension.

Caspian and Mom were careful around each other as if stepping on thin ice, but it was progressing. It was something. And I didn’t expect them to fully open up after all these years. Although, Caspian would’ve definitely wanted to.

Now and then, he looked at her with unspoken emotions in his eyes. But he didn’t push her. Didn’t want to make her talk when she was perfectly fine sitting there, keeping her past without him in it to herself.

Caspian respected her boundaries. She, in turn, didn’t shut him out completely because she did answer all of his questions. I counted that as a small victory.

By the time we left, the air between us felt a little lighter. The drive back home was mostly quiet, with me sitting in the backseat, feeling rather awkward.

When we arrived back at the house, Mom went to prepare the guest bedroom for Caspian. I didn’t like the idea of him sleeping right down the hall from me without me being able to get into bed next to him. It would be the first night in a while being apart from each other, but what was one night when we had the rest of our lives together?

I smiled at Caspian, daring to step closer while Mom was still upstairs. “I thought today went well,”

I said, taking his hand carefully.

He turned to me and nodded, interlocking our fingers as he squeezed my hand. “Yeah, I thought so too. Though, she’s still pretty damn cold. Not sure she’ll ever open up to me.”

“Maybe not, but at least she’s accepting you back into her life. I say that’s a big step for someone like her.”

He studied me closely and gave a small nod, silently accepting everything that happened today. “I figured so. But I’m pleased, though. Grateful that you made this happen.”

I lifted our hands to my lips and pressed a kiss to the back of his hand, smiling up at him. Our moment was interrupted when Mom walked down the stairs. I stepped away, putting space between us.

“The guest room is ready,”

she said as she reached the bottom of the stairs, her voice natural.

Caspian offered a small smile. “Thank you, Julie.”

She nodded, then said, “Well, I’m off to bed. I’ll make us breakfast tomorrow morning. Good night.”

“Night, Mom.”

We watched as she followed the narrow hall to her bedroom which was located on the ground floor.

I led Caspian upstairs to the guest room, and he entered it, looking around before dropping his overnight bag on the floor. The room had once been Mom’s, but when Dale came to live with us, she decided to move to the empty bedroom downstairs for privacy reasons.

“It’s not much, but it should be enough for one night,”

I said, my eyes wandering from the double bed to the nightstand and over to the desk.

“It’ll do.”

I lingered in the doorway, watching as Caspian started to unpack. I didn’t want to leave. Sleeping alone just didn’t sound right.

“Well,”

I murmured, shifting on my feet, “get some rest. You must be tired from all the driving.”

Caspian met my gaze, his lips twitching like he had something to say, but he just nodded. “Yeah.”

I pursed my lips. “You know, just because we’re here doesn’t mean we can’t—”

“Darwynn, your mother is right downstairs.”

I felt a sense of regret in his voice, and I hated that I hadn’t noticed it before. My face fell, and I dropped my gaze to my hands. “You’re not rethinking all of this, are you? This between us?”

He stepped closer the second I uttered those words, and I stared at his feet, unable to look up at him. My heart was racing in my chest, and the most upsetting thoughts flashed in through my mind.

“Darwynn.”

His voice was low, raspy. “Look at me.”

I clenched my jaw but didn’t look up. I couldn’t. Not when he was ready to end this.

“Darwynn.”

His voice was hard, determined. “I’m not going to ask you again.”

I sighed, furrowing my brows as I tilted my head back.

When his eyes met mine, he reached up with one hand to grip my jaw. His fingertips dug into my skin, and he held me there, not giving me a chance to look away. “I love you. I’m—”

We both held our breaths, and he looked surprised that he even outed those words so casually.

His jaw ticked, and his grip tightened as he swallowed hard. “I love you, and if this trip has done anything, it’s deepening what I feel for you. But I’m really trying hard here not to get us in trouble, all right? So you have to forgive me for not giving you the devotion you deserve. I don’t want Julie to question things.”

I swallowed, my heart pounding as I searched his face. He meant it. Every word. His words settled deep inside my chest, where I would keep them forever.

I managed a nod, then whispered, “Okay, that’s…uh, fair, I guess.”

He chuckled and loosened his grip on my jaw, sliding his fingers down my throat. “Glad we’re on the same page about that.”

He leaned in and kissed me. Softly, faintly, then he stepped away. “And you don’t have to say it back. It’s written all over your pretty face that you’re in love with me, too.”

Pursing my lips, I felt my cheeks turn bright red.

God, he was just so…proud.

Proud to love me and proud to be loved by me.

He made me leave the bedroom, promising me that we would see each other again in the morning. I went resentfully and dragged myself to my bedroom.

***

Three hours later, I was still awake, unable to sleep. My thoughts kept circling back to Caspian—how close he was, just down the hall.

I needed to see him.

Especially after his confession, I wanted to be close to him.

Besides, what fun was it to not sneak around?

Without making a sound, I slid out of bed and tiptoed to the door, easing it open just enough to peek out into the hallway. Everything was still. There was no sound coming from downstairs, and no light was glowing. I knew Mom slept like a rock, just like I did, unlike tonight, though. My urge to be with Caspian was too strong to stay in bed and close my eyes.

Barefoot, I stepped into the hallway, my heart pounding in my chest as I moved toward the guest bedroom. The floor creaked beneath me, but I continued until I reached the door.

I hesitate only for a second before wrapping my fingers around the doorknob and turning it slowly. Once the door was open, I slipped inside and shut it just as quietly behind me.

The room was dark, the only source of light coming from the streetlight filtering through the curtains. Caspian was lying on his back, but at the sound of the door clicking shut, he stirred.

“Darwynn?”

His voice was rough with sleep.

“Yes, it’s me,”

I whispered, stepping closer.

I could barely make out his face in the dim light, but for some reason, I knew he was frowning. “What are you doing?”

he asked, sounding grumpy as he sat up.

I moved toward the bed, slipping onto the mattress beside him without asking for permission. “I missed you,”

I admitted.

There was a pause, and I thought he was getting ready to kick me back out. But then he exhaled and wrapped an arm around my waist, pulling me close. “You’re going to get us in trouble.”

I smirked, even though he couldn’t see it. “Only if we get caught.”

He grunted, flexing his hand flat on my stomach. His body was pressed against my back, and I breathed in deeply to let him understand just how comfortable I was in his arms.

He buried his face into the crook of my neck, breathing deeply and muttering a curse as he let it back out. “This is exactly why I didn’t want you in my bed tonight,”

he grunted, pressing his hard cock against my ass.

I bit my lower lip and placed my left hand on his, sliding my fingers through his. “But I’m here now,”

I said, keeping my voice quiet.

“Yeah…you are.”

He moved his right arm under me, wrapping it around my hips and sliding his hand into my panties without a warning. “And you’re so damn wet. Say, baby, have you been thinking about this all day?”

I let out a shaky breath and nodded, arching my back. “Y-yes,”

I admitted.

He ran his fingers through my folds, teasing my entrance and flicking his fingertips against my clit. “Naughty girl,”

he murmured into my ear.

His fingers moved over my sensitive flesh, sending shivers through my body. He circled my clit again, slowly, taunting and building the tension as I squirmed against him.

“So responsive,”

he growled, nipping at my earlobe. “I bet I could make you come in seconds if you’d only let yourself go.”

I was holding back, that was true, but I didn’t want to come just yet. I was always scared that my body would be too exhausted after two orgasms, and I wanted this to last.

I whimpered softly as he slid two fingers inside me, curling them to that perfect spot. It was the ball of his thumb working my clit now as he pumped his fingers in a steady rhythm.

“That’s it, baby,”

he encouraged. “Don’t hold back. I want to feel you come on my hand.”

His words pushed me closer to the edge. I bit my lip to keep from crying out as waves of pleasure washed over me. Caspian held me tight as I shuddered against him, and he lifted his left hand to my mouth to keep my moans muffled.

“Shh, we’re not alone in this house,”

he whispered.

God, he was not playing nice. As much as he wanted this, he wanted me to understand just how delicate this situation was. We couldn’t get caught, or else our relationship was over in an instant.

When the aftershock decreased, he withdrew his hand, and I heard the rustle of fabric as he pushed down his pajama pants. I got rid of my panties, and he lifted my leg shortly after, hooking his arm around the back of my knee to open me up to him.

“I need to be inside you, and you need to be quiet. You got that, baby?”

“Yes,”

I breathed, arching my back again. “I’ll be quiet for you.”

“Good girl.”

He positioned himself at my entrance, sliding his already wet tip through my folds before he pushed inside with one smooth thrust. He filled me completely, and I gasped at the stretch, savoring the feeling fully.

Caspian set a steady pace, his hips thrusting against mine. His left hand gripped my leg to keep it in the air while his other palmed my breast under my shirt, pinching and rolling my nipple.

“God, you feel amazing,”

he groaned. “So tight and wet for me. This pussy is mine.”

His words made it impossible for me to keep my feelings on the inside. I wanted to scream and moan. To order him to fuck me even harder, but that would most likely wake my mother. And even I didn’t want to risk that.

“That’s right, take my cock,”

Caspian whispered harshly. “Such a good girl for me.”

He angled his hips, hitting deeper with each thrust. I buried my face on the pillow to muffle my moans as the pleasure built once again.

“Are you doing to come for me again?”

Caspian asked, his breath hot against my neck. “I want to feel you squeeze my cock as you fall apart.”

His fingers found my clit, rubbing quick circles as he pounded into me. The dual stimulation was overwhelming.

“Caspian,”

I whimpered. “I’m so close.”

“Come, baby,”

he commanded. “Come all over my hard cock. Make that pussy squeeze around it.”

With a few more hard thrusts, I fell over the edge. My inner walls clenched around him as ecstasy flooded my senses. Caspian groaned, his hips stuttering as he followed me into bliss. I felt the warmth of his release as he buried deep, holding himself there.

We both breathed heavily.

“Don’t move yet,”

I whispered, needing him to stay inside of me for a while longer.

He wrapped his arms around me tightly as we both came down from our highs, but I knew once our breathing was steady, we would do it all over again.

***

I spent the next morning trying not to wince from the soreness between my legs. Caspian and I stayed awake for two more hours, fucking as silently as possible while Mom was sleeping downstairs.

This morning, she didn’t look like she had heard us, which was a relief.

Caspian and I acted normal, not letting anything show.

He sat in front of me, focused on his coffee and the morning newspaper in front of him, while Mom moved around the kitchen with practiced ease. She loved to cook, and a smile touched my face when I remembered that Caspian did too.

I guess she got that from him.

No one spoke much, just quiet murmurs here and there, the occasional request to pass the butter. If she had heard anything last night, she gave no indication.

Then again, if I were in her shoes, I wouldn’t know how to act.

After breakfast, I got to work packing. I didn’t have many things I wanted to bring. Just some clothes for every season, some books, and toiletries. Caspian helped, carrying things out to the car while I sifted through what was left in my room. Mom wouldn’t move. At least that’s what she told me. She said I could leave everything here, and in case she did decide to move, she would let me know. After all, it was only a twelve-hour drive from Hilton Beach, and I could always come back to grab things in case I needed them.

Mom lingered in the doorway, watching without saying much. When I sealed the last box, I turned to face her, gripping the roll of tape in my hands.

“I guess that’s it,”

I said with a tight smile.

She nodded, her lips pressing together. “And you’re really sure about this?”

I swallowed, unsure of what to say. “Yeah.”

A beat of silence passed between us before she stepped forward and pulled me into a hug. It wasn’t tight, but it wasn’t hesitant either. Just firm, steady, and full of things left unspoken.

“I’m not the reason why you’re leaving, am I?”

Her question caught me off guard. I frowned and shook my head. “Of course not. Why would you think that, Mom?”

We stepped away from each other, and she shrugged. “Because…I don’t think I’ve ever given you a reason to stay.”

Well, shit.

Now she was coming to me with words like that. Really?

Although my heart squeezed uncomfortably, I didn’t hesitate before answering. “Mom, that’s not true. You’ve always been a good mother.”

“But you never liked me as one.”

I hated the way she was talking about herself. Hated that she thought she was never good enough, when throughout my childhood, she had always been a good Mom. Only when I got older and formed my own opinions, we grew apart. Slightly. She was still my mother, though.

“Don’t say that. You know it’s not true.”

I sighed and rubbed her arms. “We just have our differences. Different opinions. Different characters. Would be boring if we were all the same, don’t you think?”

She gave a small shrug, then she smiled tightly. “Yes, I guess so.”

“I’ll come visit you. And maybe you can come visit us in Hilton Beach too. I bet Dale will like it there,” I mused.

“We might. I’ll talk to him about it.”

I nodded and gave her another hug before I carried the last box downstairs.

Once we got everything in the car, we turned back to Mom, and I gave her a small wave. “I’ll call you, okay?”

“Okay. Drive safe.”

Caspian nodded. “We will.”

At first I thought we were leaving without them hugging. That was the least they could’ve done. And to my surprise, it was Mom taking a step forward to give Caspian a hug.

They stood there for a moment, then she pulled away, her smile tight.

With that, we got into the car. As Caspian pulled out of the driveway, I glanced back one last time. Mom still stood there, her arms crossed over her chest, watching us go.

She looked relieved, but a hint of sadness had lingered in her eyes all morning long.

She would miss me. Not too much, though, which was fine.

I would still have her in my life.