Exquisite Death: Dark, Friends to Lovers Romance (The Gilded Sovereign Book 3)

Chapter 18

I knowwhen I’m not wanted.

Thane follows me into the hallway just outside the kitchen.

“I’ll have my driver take you to the airfield,” he tells me. “I believe Tarian has arranged for the Sovereign plane to be on constant standby. I’m guessing he thought there might be the need for at least one of you to make a quick getaway.”

I don’t turn to him. I can’t bring myself to look at the asshole.

“Thanks,” I respond before heading up to the guest bedroom I was given to use.

I quickly pack my overnight bag and make my way back downstairs. Thankfully, the rest of my belongings are still on board the plane. The flight to Tynewood will take a couple of hours, which will give me some time to think before I arrive back home and have to face that shit show.

Tarian’s standing in the kitchen where I left him.

“Why do you have to be such a bastard, Tarian Calvert?”

My voice is drenched in the pain that’s piercing my chest. I can feel the agony of my heart breaking. I’m sick of feeling wretched when it comes to him.

“I was born into?—”

“Fuck that excuse, Tarian.” This time, I’m in his face as I speak. I’m done listening to his excuses. They don’t fly with me anymore. “You know what, I think you enjoy it. I think you like being cold and standoffish. You don’t want people to come near you. That’s who you are,” I tell him, but I don’t wait for him to interrupt me, because he needs to hear this. “Over the last few months, you’ve repeatedly said you don’t want to be like Thane. But guess what, Tarian, you’re exactly like him.”

“Like fuck I am.”

“Aren’t you? Take a long, hard look at yourself in the mirror, Tarian. Ask yourself if there’s anything you’ve done recently that doesn’t make you like him.”

He doesn’t respond. His eyes glower with animosity and anger, but I no longer give a shit. I’m done pandering to his sensibilities. Treading carefully around him isn’t working, so I’m hoping this reality check will kick his ass into gear. If it doesn’t work, I doubt anything else will.

“Get the fuck out,” he grits through clenched teeth.

His body is vibrating with barely contained rage. I know he won’t strike me, but there’s every chance he’ll punch the wall we’re standing beside. As much as this man has hurt me, I can’t bear to see him in pain. That’s how fucking pathetic I am when it comes to Tarian Calvert.

Shaking my head, I turn and make my way to the front door. I hear his soft footsteps following behind me, and I’m sure he’s going to stop me, but the moment I’m over the threshold, he slams the door shut behind me without another word.

I can’t stop the tears falling. There have been so many times over the years when I’ve thought about what it would be like to be with Tarian. I’ve seen the other girls come and go, so I know he can be heartless, but even though we’ve only just started being intimate, I thought he would have treasured our connection more than this.

I’ve been wary of starting a relationship with Tarian. A part of me, deep inside, knew he’d hurt me, but the moment his lips touched mine, I no longer cared. He is broken, lost, and angry, but when we were together last night, something inside him shifted. The ever-present rage turned to unadulterated lust, pure and feral, and then for a brief moment, it calmed, and a gentler more affectionate Tarian was revealed.

But now the rage is back, full force.

As I step outside, I see the car we arrived in waiting for me. I slip into the rear bench seat, and as the vehicle heads down the driveway, I say a silent, final goodbye to the man who’s been the subject of all my secret fantasies for so many years.

Since I was fifteen, I knew he was the one boy who could crush me. Not because he knew how I felt, and not even because I thought he felt the same, but because Tarian Calvert stole my teenage heart, and he’s never given it back. And even though he’s left it in tatters, he still holds the pieces.

I know I can never go back to Tarian. I won’t allow him to hurt me ever again. It will take time for me to get over him, but I can do it. I’m far stronger than he thinks.

Tynewood doesn’t seemto have changed since I left.

I can’t help but feel nostalgia for the last few months I’ve spent in the sun with Tarian. It was a welcome escape, and one that was needed after all that had happened at home.

Maybe I should book a flight to some exotic destination and run away again, but this time I won’t come back. I know there’s no chance for me and Tarian. Not after what he’s done. He didn’t cheat, but he still managed to break my heart by believing Thane’s lies. He never once considered I might be telling the truth.

We’ve been friends for years, yet he chose to take the word of a man who’s hurt him repeatedly. A cold shiver races down my spine when I think of Thane.

The vibration of my cell phone startles me, and when I see Tarian’s name on the screen, I ignore the call.

The taxi pulls up to the front entrance of the mansion I grew up in. Being home feels both strange and welcome.

Once inside, I find the house empty as usual. I make my way up to my bedroom and shut the door behind me. The silence hangs heavily over me, reminding me I’m totally alone. The months spent in sunshine will soon be a distant memory, and now I’m done with Tarian, or rather, he’s done with me, I’m not sure what to do with myself.

Flopping onto the bed, I lie back against the pillow and try to rest. But each time I close my eyes, a pair of blue ones haunt me. It’s a cruel reminder of what I’ve lost. I should never have allowed us to take the next step and have sex, because it’s fucked up a friendship that has been holding me together for years.

Tears burn my eyes, and I swipe at them in frustration. I’ve always known there would come a time when my friendship with Tarian would be too painful to bear and I’d have to leave. Over the years, I’ve prepared myself for the possibility that one day he could fall for one of his random hookups. The thought of him loving someone else has always tormented me, but this is worse. The fact we were intimate makes the heartbreak so much harder to bear than I ever imagined.

I’m not sure why Tarian would ever think that I’d be interested in Thane. But the fact he believed his uncle over me breaks my heart.

My phone vibrates in my pocket, and when I pull it out, I see Ares’ name on the screen. I don’t particularly want to talk to him, but I know I’m going to have to face the Crowns at some point.

“Hello?”

“Hey darling,” Ares greets, and I can hear the smile on his face. It’s frustrating that I’ve grown up beside these boys, and I still feel like an outsider. “Is Tarian back?”

“I don’t know.” I’m aware my tone doesn’t sound overly friendly, but I can’t bring myself to talk about the bastard.

“What’s happened?” Ares’ concern makes me smile, just a bit, because the affection I can hear in his voice is reassuring.

“He’s been an asshole. I’ve tried helping him get through shit, but I can’t do it anymore. There is only so much I can take.” I don’t want to tell Ares about Tarian and me sleeping together, but I know the secret will come out eventually.

“That’s nothing new.” Ares chuckles. “Listen, I know he can be hard work, but?—”

“No, Ares. This time there are no buts. I can’t do it anymore.” I shake my head as I speak, trying to convince myself as much as Ares that I need to get away from Tarian. But there is no escape. There can never be unless I leave Tynewood for good.

“Did you two have sex?” If I’d been drinking something right now, that question would have made me choke on it. The fact Ares has already jumped to that conclusion makes me want to crawl into a dark hole and hide. “I know that’s what must have happened because it’s the only reason he would lose his shit.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I respond as I push off the bed and make my way onto the balcony that overlooks our gardens.

There’s a cool breeze that cools me. It’s a welcome feeling from the heat that’s been burning me since the incident with Tarian.

Ares sighs on the other end of the phone, and I feel as if I’m missing something.

“The asshole is in love with you, Grecia. He’s been obsessed with you since we were at college.” Ares chuckles, and I can imagine him shaking his head at the thought of his best friend.

Ares, Etienne, and Tarian are more like brothers to be honest, and I know they’ll stand by each other for life. Maybe Ares is trying to coax me into forgiving Tarian’s outburst, but I can’t.

“What?” I throw back my response in shock.

“I’m not lying to you, Grecia,” he tells me, and I can hear his voice has taken on a serious tone.

“I… I’m not…” There is no response I can come up with that can express what’s racing through my mind right now.

“Will you tell me what happened?”

I don’t want to, but maybe Ares can explain what the hell Tarian was thinking when he believed his asshole uncle over me.

“Well, I—” The moment I start speaking, my bedroom door is shoved open, and there, standing on the threshold, is Tarian fucking Calvert. “I have to go.”

I hang up before Ares can respond. My gaze is locked on the man who looks like he’s been through hell and back, but I don’t care… well, I don’t want to care.

I have to force myself not to go to him or ask if he’s okay. I shouldn’t want to know. He told me to leave, and I did. I thought that was the last I’d see of him. I certainly never expected him to turn up in my bedroom with a look of contrition on his face.

“Get the fuck out, Tarian.”

I don’t go to him. I merely point my finger in the direction of the open door, indicating for him to leave. I watch as an expression of agony paints the handsome features of the man who I’m pretty sure I’ve fallen in love with.

“Let me?—”

“No,” I bite out. “No, Tarian, you don’t get to do anything but leave my house and never come back. I never want to see your sorry ass again.”

He moves closer, taking tentative steps toward me.

“Please, Grecia.”

Opening my nightstand drawer, I pull out the small silver Glock handgun my father bought me when I turned sixteen. I cock the gun and point it at him.

“Get. The. Fuck. Out. Tarian,” I repeat, slowly and deliberately, and he lifts his hands in surrender.

“Okay, I’ll leave. But I’m not giving up,” he warns as he looks directly at me. His eyes pierce holes through my armor, and I know he can see the suffering he’s caused. “You’re angry with me right now, but you’ll have to let me explain eventually.”

Striding toward him, I come to a stop a few inches from where he’s standing and press the barrel to his chest.

“I don’t want to see you, hear you, or even be in the same room as you. Ever again,” I tell him.

My voice is tight with anger, but there’s a hint of pain I know Tarian can hear. I hate that he still has this hold over me. And I hate that Ares and Etienne know as well.

Tarian watches me for a silent moment before he nods and turns to leave. He’s never been in my bedroom before, and it hurts to know that the only reason he’s in my sanctuary is because he’s broken my heart. Our friendship is in pieces, and my heart is in shreds on the floor.

And all because I fell in love with a boy who grew into a broken man.

He slowly starts to walk toward the bedroom door, and I wonder if he’s waiting for me to tell him to stop. I don’t. I’m not going to be another one of the notches on his bedpost that begs him not to leave.

For years, I’ve watched girls throw themselves at him. He’d give them one night then walk away and never look back. Now I know what they went through, but the only difference is I’m not going to beg him to take me back. And I’m certainly not going to plead for another chance to share his bed.

Tarian shuts the door behind him, leaving me alone with my thoughts. The gun in my hand suddenly feels heavy, and I set it down on the bed. I can’t believe I pulled a gun on him, but my anger had taken over.

I hate what I did to Tarian.

But I hate what he did to me so much more.