CHAPTER 15
Nellie
I ran into Mills outside of Steve’s. I was going in for my first day of work, even though I was only planning on working half a day so Ms. Vivian didn’t feel stuck with Waylan. Seeing my big brother caused a mix of emotions to whirl within me. I remembered being a little kid, running to Mills so he could pick me up and spin me around. Part of me still wanted that. I missed being his little sister. I was just so angry, though. He’d been so cruel to me and it felt like I was staring up at our parents when he looked at me with those angry, judgmental eyes.
“Where’s the kid?” Mills crossed his arms over his chest and stood with his legs braced wide apart in front of me. It was a power pose I’d seen our father assume too many times to count.
“The kid? You mean Waylan? Your niece? She’s with Ms. Vivian.” I nodded to Steve’s shop, making the poor decision to share more than necessary with him. “I’m working half a day with Steve.”
His face twisted into a scowl. “What? Why? If you need a job, the ranch could always use help. You don’t need to play grease monkey anymore.”
I let out a bark of laughter. “Really? I’ve been working as a mechanic for over a decade, Mills. I like it. Why would I want to work on the ranch when I could do a job I love?”
“Can you support Waylan on that kind of pay?” He looked like he had more to say but was holding back. No way was I going to invite him to insult me more than he already was.
“Yeah, I can. I sold a few things recently and have a nice nest egg. I even have a college fund started for Waylan. Anything else you want to know?”
“If you have money, why not stay home with the kid?”
I growled and poked my finger into his chest. “ Waylan needs a break from me. It’s good for her to be away from me for a bit until she starts school.”
“I just… Why don’t you come to the ranch? You find trouble too easily to be in town, away from us.” He moved closer. “Nellie, I’m pissed that you abandoned us and just forgot about us but we’re still family.”
“You don’t…” I took a deep breath. “I didn’t abandon you, Mills. I didn’t have a choice. Trust me. If I could’ve chosen home over sleeping on the streets for months, I would have. Now, I have to get to work. Go away.”
“You’re lying.” Mills sounded desperate and unsure at first but he seemed to steel himself against the doubt he might’ve been feeling. “You never took responsibility for your shit, Nellie. You were always a wild child, living your life without a care, leaving messes behind for other people to clean up. Our siblings were a mess when you left. Vera and Maxie sobbed for weeks when they thought no one was watching.”
He so easily painted with me the same brush our parents had. I was the baby, wild child Nellie. I did whatever I wanted and didn’t care about anyone else. I didn’t try in school, I didn’t try at home, I was spoiled, I was bad. I could remember one of my first days in kindergarten so clearly. I’d had an accident because I’d been too scared to ask to go to the bathroom. I’d tried to hide what I’d done by pretending it hadn’t happened and I’d tracked pee all over the classroom. Mom had arrived in a flourish when she was called, spanked me in front of everyone, and told me I was a bad girl. After that, the title had stuck. No matter what I did, I was the bad kid.
“Mills, I don’t want to talk to you. Go away.” I shouldered past him, letting my anger pool in my stomach and harden.
I’d given my parents Bad Nellie since it seemed to be what they expected. If Mills expected Bad Nellie, I’d give her to him. He wasn’t going to break me down and make me beg for his love. I was never going to be Maxie. She’d always been the perfect daughter and sister. I was just me. Since that didn’t seem like it would ever be enough for my big brother, I’d have a little fun at his expense.
“I don’t like that look on your face, Nellie.” Mills’ voice faded as I slipped into the side door of the garage and slammed it shut behind me.
Steve was leaning against a car, waiting for me while he cleaned a carburetor. “Everything okay?”
I gave him a dark smile. “Oh, everything is fine. My brother just signed his own ticket to torture town, but everything is absolutely fine.”
He laughed and tugged me in for a hug. “There’s that crazy. Come on. Help me open up the shop before you get arrested for killing Mills.”
I worked until noon and then headed to the diner to get lunch for me, Waylan, and Ms. Vivian. I felt good after working with my hands all morning and when I walked into the diner, it didn’t even bother me when everyone looked at me. That much.
Woodrow was sitting at the counter with an empty seat next to him. My plan to fuck with Mills was probably stupid but if he was as uptight about Vera’s reverse harem relationship as she said he was, I was going to take advantage of his discomfort.
I slid onto the stool next to Woodrow and smiled up at him when he turned to face me. He looked surprised to see me sitting beside him but not at all unhappy about it.
He was in what seemed to be his uniform of black pants, black shirt, and black boots. His shadow of a beard and the hair cropped close to his head were just as dark. Dark brown eyes warmed as his mouth parted in a slow grin, revealing the tiniest of gaps between his front two top teeth. He had a slight Australian accent as he spoke. “Well, this is a nice surprise.”
I knew my brothers were at a booth toward the back of the diner. I’d spotted them when I came in. It wasn’t going to be a hardship to flirt with Woodrow but I still felt guilty as I smiled wider and reached out to lightly touch his arm. In a rush of humiliation, I quickly realized I didn’t know how to flirt with a man. Why had I touched his arm? Not that I didn’t want to touch his arms. They were so big. I touched it again and let out a little sigh.
“Nellie?” Woodrow licked his lips as he turned on his stool to face me completely. His knees brushed my thigh but if he noticed the way I shivered, he didn’t call attention to it. “You alright?”
I cleared my throat and nodded. I was still touching his arm. Jesus . I yanked my hand back to my lap and let out a pained laugh. “Yeah! I’m good. How are you?”
He rested his hand on my knee. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost, woman. What’s wrong?”
I was pretty sure I was the color of ketchup. I was trying to flirt and he thought I looked haunted. Great.