26. Miles Hernandez
Chapter twenty-six
Miles Hernandez
F uck I kissed Soren.
She kissed me back.
What if I just fucked everything up by doing that?
My mind is a whirlwind of emotions and fears causing my heart to beat erratically in my chest as I look up just in time to see my best friend and the man I've looked at as a brother do the same thing. Oh fuck. That's hot.
Lena comes up to me, sensing the crash I'm no doubt heading to as she leans in a bit to whisper so we can only hear each other “About time you grew some balls and made your move, pretty boy. I was honestly doubting you both having feelings for my sister.”
“ How was it obvious to everyone but your damn sister? The woman is impossible sometimes.” I grumble out with slight irritation as I keep my eyes locked on Finn and Soren.
She chuckles, shaking her head, her fading red hair falling in front of her mask as she looks behind us at Finn and Soren no doubt seeing what has my attention still.
“Looks like all you both needed was some jealous men's motivation to make your move. Are you guys scared she will choose them? ”
“ If she did it wouldn't change anything, we'd stay beside her until she told us to leave. She could offer us a grain of attention and she'd have us on our knees praising her for her generosity.”
I close my eyes searching for the right words to assure her younger sister how I truly feel about her and finally settle on the truth, letting it roll from my tongue and be set free.
“I love her, Lenny. No matter how much it'll hurt when she breaks my heart, it'll always be her I come back to.”
She lets out a soft sigh that's muffled by her mask, taking an unwavering step towards me. Her small hand rests on her blade strapped to her hip she slowly slides out and presses the cold metal tip to my chest right above my heart, the sounds around us fading as I wait with quiet anticipation for what she will say .
“If you're lying to me, and doing this to only make Scar's boys jealous, I will cut your heart out and serve it to her on a silver platter. She's been through enough. So you better mean what you say, Understand?”
“I understand and I meant every single word.” My voice comes out a gentle whisper as I step forward and let the tip of the blade press into my skin like a tiny little needle prick.
She nods softly, as she retracts her blade from its position above my heart and sheaths it. “ Good, I like you and would hate to kill you. Now let's go. The race has just finished and from the looks of it my sister has beaten all the Horsemen.” She chuckles, punching my shoulder and making me stumble back. The screeching of tires and the smell of burning rubber reach my nose as a car door slamming catches my attention. I grab Len’s hand and pull her forward to where her sister stands.
As we make our way to Soren, I catch the ending of a kiss between her and Reed, my mind going blank as I reach for my holstered gun, pulling it out as I try to stomp past a frozen Soren. Her hand reaches out gripping my bicep before I get past her, her voice cold and detached. “Don't. Let's just go home. “
She tosses the keys to Reed's car to Lena and shoves her keys into my chest. Without another word, she's getting back into Radley's car and speeding towards the exit. Finn takes Lena’s keys and walks back with Carla to their cars .
I'm grateful I didn't drive and caught a ride with Finn on the way here so it's one less vehicle to worry about getting home.
It takes us all of 10 minutes to catch up to Soren on the road. She's dodging and weaving through traffic like she's trying to get away, from what I'm not sure.
I maneuver around a minivan, bringing her car right beside Finn's, peeking in through the driver's window. I can see that she's crying and she hasn't noticed me beside her.
We drift in sync on the next left turn onto our private road leading us home and I quickly fall back in behind her so we can both make it through the gate down the driveway.
As we hit the trees, she took each turn in a reckless escape, but the demons she was facing aren't ones that she couldn't outrun.
She's so lost in that beautiful mind of hers, reality a blur as she settles into overthinking everything.
She pulls in front of the garage and throws the car into the park. The lights die and she's out of the driver's seat and rushing to go inside, to hide away.
But I won't allow her this time. It's time she stopped running. She needs to understand that no matter how hard she pushes, we aren't going anywhere.
I run behind her, catching her arm in my hand as I stop her in her tracks. Headlights hit us making me realize in that moment we aren't alone causing me to let my grip on her arm go .
I go to speak and stop, waiting to see if the girls will say anything, but the girls must realize that this is a conversation only for their sister, Finn, and me because they walk past us without a word shutting the front door behind them.
Finn comes up beside her, boxing her in between us, his eyes boring a hole into the side of her head as he bites his lip letting me take the lead for once.
“ Stop. Whatever you're doing in that beautiful head. Stop. You can't run anymore little mama.” I stand before her taking in every emotion that plagues her beautiful face as she looks close to having a nervous breakdown from an unsuspected kiss from Reed.
Her bright blue eyes shoot up to mine, locking us into a stare-down, neither one willing to break under the pressure.
She groans, throwing her hands up in the air in defeat as she sucks in a shaky breath. “I know you saw Reed kiss me.” She avoids my eye contact now that she's voiced what we all saw. Guilt eats her up at the kiss between them.
Maybe I should be pissed that he kissed her as well, but I'm all honest now that the shock of it has worn off. I can see the fact that she feels something for them, and she feels something for us as well. That scares her.
She doesn't like to hurt anyone, and the fear of letting down someone close to her is what spurs her on. Her mind is spiraling at the thought of losing us, it's etched across her face that she couldn't hide it if she tried. What a world to love a girl, who loves five others.
Maybe she doesn't love them yet the way she feels for us, but there's a string pulling her to each of us splitting her into six different directions, and that scares her.
She is scared that if she voices this we will leave her. Being left is the second biggest fear that she holds close, letting it control her every decision because if she sees it before it happens she can leave instead.
"Listen, Little Mama , we witnessed the kiss you shared with him. We noticed that you kissed him back, and then we saw you start to panic, fearing that you had jeopardized what we have because you care for them as you care for us, and that frightens you. You're afraid that you'll push us away and lose us. Look at me." I gently hold her chin to ensure she meets my gaze as I continue, "You're mistaken. We're not going anywhere. If it means we have to share you with Scar's boys, we're willing to do that." I reassure her, watching as Finn steps closer to her, closing the distance between us and providing her with a safe barrier to feel what she is feeling.
She hesitates momentarily before softly replying, “I need to do more than that. I have a plan, and I need to follow through with it. But I’m scared that you will leave me no matter what you say. I need you both; I want you both. However, I’m also frightened because I desire the others as well. It’s not right for me to ask that of either of you.” Her voice trembles as she struggles to calm the evident panic within her.
“We aren't going anywhere, Queenie . You're so full of love that you have more than enough for us all.” Finn declares without a moment of hesitation. He looks up at me before bringing his eyes back to our girl.
“I'm sorry if us kissing you caused these feelings that you owe us your time and love. We know that Scar's boys mean something to you, even when you try to hide it we know Little Mama. “ I pull her flush to my chest, running my hand down her back soothingly.
Finn pauses, tilting his head and sucking in a soft breath before he adds, “No one else can make you do something you don't want to do, Queenie. You have fought so hard to be free. We won't ever take your freedom away.”
“I choose to love you all, but I can't force them to do the same, And for that, I'm really scared. What if they hate me for leaving? What if they try to force me to choose” She sucks in a soft breath. “What if they force me to let you go?” She adds the last part as a gentle sob slips from her lips.
“Then they're not worth it. If they can't offer the same love and support, they don't get to have you. You have enough love for us all.” Finn adds with a light sigh, as he slowly slides his fingers under her eyes scoping the tears that have fallen and discarding them on his pants leg .
“ Just don't sell yourself short. Don't make your decision tonight either. Tonight let us worship you, the way you deserve. Let us show you that this can work, little mama.” I whisper against her head, the lavender shampoo she uses mixing into the deep breath I greedily suck in.
“Please. Show me what it's like to give control away for once. To be free to feel the way that I do. Give me freedom Miles.” she looks up at me with pleading blue eyes to fulfill her wishes.
And for tonight, no matter what tomorrow or the next day brings.
I'll show her that she can have it all.