Chapter 13
Chapter Thirteen
Teresa
I collapsed on the low-pile carpet, letting out a deep sigh. The empty room felt creepy, but the office was warm and safe. There was even a little wall light in the kitchen that wasn’t a terribly bright halogen tube. I sat in its faint, warm glow, right outside the kitchen doorway, leaning on the wall, slowly eating every breath mint in my purse. I even popped one of the antacids, just to fill the time.
I took off my shoes and rubbed my feet, trying to bring them back to life. This was the strangest Valentine’s Day I’d ever had, and it wasn’t even over yet. With no phone, no way to tell the time, and nothing at all to do, my mind raced a million miles a second, legs and arms twitching restlessly. What was the deal with Trevor’s cabin? What was the deal with all the apologies, personal questions, and the way he was looking after me? We were suddenly back to where we’d been eighteen months ago. Flirting. Touching. Looking for those excuses to get closer. And right now, I was missing him like crazy.
He’d said he’d be back soon. What did ‘soon’ even mean? Why hadn’t I stopped him at the door and demanded a timeframe? By the time I heard a faint knock on the door, I was lying on my stomach, convinced that I’d grown at least an inch of leg hair and lost two ounces of muscle mass from lack of exercise.
That knock made me pounce to my feet like a dog waiting for its owner. I raced to the door and threw myself into Trevor’s arms. “Oh, my God! That took a year.”
“Hello.” He sounded amused, and a little surprised, dropping two bags on the floor to free up his arms. “It’s been forty minutes.”
By the time he hugged me back, I’d regained some of my emotional resilience and pulled away. Why on earth had I thrown myself at him? What was wrong with me?
“It’s just that there’s nothing to do and when I sit down, completely idle, my thoughts go crazy.” My voice wobbled.
He smiled compassionately. “Of course, they do. You’ve had a rough day. A really rough day.”
“I wish I could exercise. I need to move my arms and legs. I need to do something.” Anxiety was quickly getting the best of me, but I couldn’t hide it with him. Not this time.
“Well, you’re in luck, because I found a laundromat that was open late, and I managed to get you some clothes that might fit better than mine.”
“Really?”
“There’s a catch, though.” He bit his lip.
“What? Did you bring me someone else’s dirty laundry?”
“Oh, God. No.” He laughed so hard that his shoulders shook.
He followed me into the office, carrying his huge rucksack and another overnight bag across the floor. I guided him to what I’d now decided was the homeliest corner, right by the kitchen doorway with its glowing warm light, framed on one side by a cable pole. It was a nice enough spot to sit.
I hated sitting on the floor in my high-waisted jeans, though. Thanks to the late hour and the hearty stew, they felt like a corset. I’d already opened the button and the zipper to be able to breathe.
“I wouldn’t mind changing into whatever you have for me, as long as it’s stretchy and washed.” I glanced longingly at his bag, leaning on the wall.
“I’m so glad you put it like that because it is stretchy and washed. But it’s also… themed.”
“What do you mean?”
He unzipped the bag, pulled out a small plastic bag and handed it to me, his eyes filled with glee. I opened it, unearthing a pair of striped leggings. What was that color? I shifted closer to the kitchen light source. Oh, yes. Red and green.
“There’s also a matching top.” Trevor helped me pull out the second item.
It jingled. Of course, it fucking did. Because it was the top half of an elf costume, complete with a hem and sleeves that were cut in a zigzag pattern. I raised an eyebrow at him.
“It’s a laundromat. They obviously don’t sell clothes, but they can donate items that haven’t been picked up after eight weeks.”
I nodded, staring at the odd outfit. Sure. It was about eight weeks since the height of Christmas season, and God was clearly on a mission to see how much humiliation I could take in one day. I could only steer into the skid.
“Wow,” I said. “This is not from Temu. I think it’s homemade.” I rubbed my thumb across the material. “Feels like cotton.”
“That’s the spirit!” He grinned.
“You didn’t happen to bring an extra T-shirt or anything I could drown inside? Because I don’t mind mixing and matching. And it is a bit cold, even with the heater on. I can always put my jacket back on, but I’d rather use it as an extra blanket.”
“I have a couple of Henleys,” he said, pulling one out of his bag. “But neither of them is fresh out of the laundry, I’m afraid. That’s another reason I went into that laundromat and begged them to find me something.” He grimaced. “The cabin doesn’t have a washer yet, so things have been piling up a wee bit. But now that I know where the full-service laundromat is…”
“Great!” I grabbed the Henley and retreated into the kitchen to get changed.
Which one was worse? Looking like a fully kitted elf or a half-elf that smelled like Trevor? Or rather, who had to inhale Trevor’s smell all night? I brought the sweater to my face and concluded that it didn’t smell bad. On the contrary. It was a mix of laundry powder and something so masculine it made my body jolt awake, fueling a need that had to go unmet, especially tonight. Tonight was about survival.
To my surprise, the elf costume fit me like a glove. “Was there a hat or shoes that go with this?” I called through the door. “Maybe a belt with a giant buckle? I feel like it’s missing something.”
What I would have given to be able to slide my feet into warm slippers… or, better yet, crawl into a real bed in a warm home.
“I left the shoes and the reindeer behind. Too bulky.”
“Ah, okay.”
“But I did bring you a toothbrush if you’d like?”
“Yes, please!”
I cracked the door, and he handed me a toothbrush that was still in its packaging, along with a tube of toothpaste. As I brushed my teeth, I wondered at how normal it felt, being wrapped up in soft, stretchy clothing while cleaning your teeth. My body responded with an overwhelming wave of tiredness.
When I stepped out of the kitchen, I nearly gasped out loud. Trevor had set up a bed with a surprisingly thick-looking camping mattress, a sleeping bag, and a pillow. In my bone-tired state, it looked like a four-poster bed in a Vermont B&B. But there was only one.
“It’s for you,” He quickly announced, stepping away from the makeshift bed.
“Where are you going to sleep?”
“In my own bed, tomorrow.”
“What about tonight?”
“I’ll keep watch.”
“Of what? The heater?”
He shrugged. “Santa coming to haul you to his workshop?” His eyes roamed my body.
I spun around, making the bells jingle. “I should buy more clothes with an auditory aspect. This is fun!”
He sat on the floor, leaning on the wall next to the mattress. “Whenever you feel tired…” He gestured at the bed.
I took a breath, glancing at the pole. I was tired, but he’d freed my legs from their denim prison, and they longed to move.
It was a two-second decision. Three or four seconds of hard thinking would have killed the idea. A little more time to metabolize the wine I’d consumed at dinner might have also done the trick. But Trevor had topped up my glass twice… no, wait. Three times? That’s probably why the lightheaded, impulsive feeling lingered, allowing me to grab the cable pole and pull myself up to the first pose.
“Holy shit!”
He whistled as I swung around the pole and transitioned into the next move, hanging upside down with one leg bent around the pole, then secured my arms around it to do the splits. I’d never done this in elf leggings. I wondered if anyone had.
Moments later, I heard music. Trevor was playing ‘What Makes You Beautiful’ by One Direction on his phone. I smiled but kept dancing, following the routine I’d been practicing for the last couple of weeks.
I felt his eyes on me at every turn, even when I couldn’t see him. The way he looked at me was both unnerving and reassuring. I had good reason to hate him, but Trevor had never looked at me with anything other than devotion. The thought hit me hard as I did my final spin, my striped legs whirling in the air.
I’d been blocking him out, refusing to see it. But it had been there the whole time.
When I slid off the pole and onto the floor, he turned off the music and gave me a standing ovation. “That was incredible! Also hot, but I’m not supposed to find an elf sexy, right? That’d be weird. Like fancying hobbits.”
“Totally,” I agreed.
“But when you do that… Bloody hell! It’s just…”
“What?”
He shrugged. “I mean… You know…”
“Seriously,” I said. “People who don’t finish their sentences drive me mad.”
He grinned his winning grin. “Fine. I’m so hard for an elf right now it’s an absolute disgrace. Despicable!” He slammed a hand over his face, as if mortified.
I laughed, taking a step closer, almost within a touching distance. All this time trapped together in this alternate universe, and he hadn’t tried to kiss me once. Not even at dinner, when we’d both been drinking, sitting in the secluded little corner, discussing sex dreams.
He must have refilled my glass at least three times, because I still felt drunk. And I felt like testing him. “That night at the pool… how well do you remember it?”
He shifted a little closer, sticking his hands into his pockets. “Pretty well. But only because I wrote it down shortly after.”
“You wrote it down?” It was my turn to take a step.
I was close enough to touch now, but kept one hand on the pole, like an anchor.
He shrugged. “I’m a writer. I didn’t want to forget.”
“I remember we talked for hours,” I said. “I remember the swimming, and making out…”
I felt a blush rising to my cheeks and hugged the pole, resting my cheek against the cold metal. I wanted to touch him again, more than anything, but I couldn’t make that move. Could I? I glanced out of the window, wondering if anyone out there had seen me dancing. Thank God we were on the second floor. The windows across the street were dark.
“I remember you once had a pet gerbil named Sybil,” he said.
I blinked at him. I had no memory of ever discussing childhood pets.
“And that ye love dragonflies.” He stepped back, leaning on the wall, smiling. “Later, I heard you have a dragonfly tattoo. I can’t remember seeing it when we went swimming, so I have a theory about where it’s hiding. It’s been driving me crazy.”
The glint in his eyes made my cheeks hot. “Do you have any tattoos?”
“No. My mother didn’t approve. And now that she’s dead, it’s even harder to go against her wishes. But I appreciate body art.”
“You want to see mine?” My pulse raced. What was I doing?
“Yes, please!”
I crossed the floor until I stood right in front of him, then slid my leggings down until the tip of the dragonfly on my hip became visible. As I turned to give him a peek, Trevor’s hands flexed, hovering briefly above mine, before he tucked them back into his pockets. He was trying so hard to do the right thing. To not cross a line.
I peeled the leggings down until he could see the whole tattoo. “I thought about getting a fly right on my butt cheek,” I said, biting my lip.
“What, a housefly?”
“Yeah.” I grinned, my face hot and flushed, waiting for him to connect the dots.
Trevor swallowed, the realization dawning on his face. “Are your boyfriends not interested in swatting a dragonfly? Because I reckon a fly is a fly. It’d be happy to spank it.” His voice was thick.
I stood so close now I could count his eyelashes, but it would have taken me all night. His eyes were hypnotizing. “Trevor?”
“Yes, love?”
“I didn’t think I’d ever say this to you, but I think you’re a good guy.”
He held still, watching me. “Are you drunk?”
“A little,” I admitted.
“Are you saying… you forgive me?” He flashed me his sad, lopsided smile.
“I told you I already did.”
“No, you didn’t. You put me in the shit basket and moved on.”
“Shit basket?”
His voice was a little heavy. “You know, the ‘shit I don’t want to deal with’ basket.”
I coughed, looking away. It was annoying how accurate that sounded.
“Are you ready to take me out of the basket?”
As he stared at me, the moment became weighted with meaning. “Yes,” I finally rasped.
His gaze dipped to my lips, and I swallowed to lubricate my throat. Somewhere along the way, my mouth had lost all its natural moisture.
“Thank you,” he said. “It was a shit place to be.”
He spoke so casually I could have almost been fooled. I might have thought he was in no danger of losing control, his body not calling for mine. But I’d heard his earlier words and picked up on the evidence. At least I thought so.
I felt bold, glowing from the adoration I saw in his eyes. I stepped so close my shirt brushed against his sweater and I placed my hands on the soft fabric, looking up at him. His chest felt hard underneath, harder than I had expected.
“Have you been working out?” I blurted. “You feel… I mean you look different.”
A sly smile spread across his face. I don’t know how he managed to look embarrassed and proud at the same time, but he did. “A wee bit. I won’t try the pole, though. In case they have that ‘you break it, you buy it’ policy.”
“Honestly, it feels a bit wobbly. Probably not meant for dancing.”
He closed his hands around my wrists, holding me in place. His voice was a rough whisper. “What are you doing, Teresa?”
“What do you mean?”
“You’re pole dancing for me. And now you’re… touching me.”
I sunk my teeth into my bottom lip, trying to arrange the conflicting thoughts and emotions swirling in my mind. “I don’t know what I’m doing.”
“Don’t do anything you’ll regret.” His voice sharpened to deliver a warning, but I felt brave and beautiful. I’d had an awful day, and my sister was right about one thing. A rebound with a sexy Scot was a very tempting idea. Even if it was a mistake.
I grasped at his shirt, feeling the solid muscle underneath. “Are you worried about our inter-species pairing? And elf and a human. What if the elders find out? Imagine the scandal!” I raised my brows for emphasis.
“Elf elders?” He watched me so intensely I nearly backed out.
My gut hot and churning, I doubled down on the joke. “Sure! Or your human peers. What if they find out you’ve had relations with an elf?”
“I’ll explain it was a pole-dancing elf. They’ll understand.”
“No! It’ll be a scandal. You’ll be shunned by the community. Someone once told me human beings are herd animals and we need to stay with the tribe. Otherwise, you’ll die in the wilderness.”
Trevor bit back a smile. “Then I’ll die happy, thinking it’s all been worth it. Besides, if we both get shunned, we can be together. I’ll build you a hut, hunt for buffalo and we’ll make beautiful half-elf babies.”
“Buffalo? Where is this taking place?” I asked as my hand crept up his chest, fingernails reaching his beard.
He leaned a little against my touch, lifting an eyebrow. “ That’s what you find unbelievable?”
“Yes. I draw the line at buffalos. I think you should hunt mountain lions and gather nuts and seeds and wild goose eggs.”
His voice was a low growl. “I’ll hunt whatever you tell me to hunt. And I’ll kill anyone who threatens your survival?—”
I rose onto my toes and pressed my lips against his, cutting off the prehistoric babble.
It wasn’t a big move, but it gave him permission. Trevor captured my face between his hands and kissed me back. Fire. That’s all I could think of. Wild and unruly. He held me like he’d captured diamonds in his hands he couldn’t lose. My body turned into hot jello, throbbing in desperate need. I was kissing Trevor. I’d started this. What was I doing?
I pulled away to catch my breath, so disoriented I wondered which way was up.
“I’m sorry,” he panted. “I?—”
“Don’t be.” I kissed him again, this time setting the pace.
He tasted minty and hot, and fresh. Nothing like before. He felt different, too. Reverent. Desperate. Gentle and a little rough all at once, and it took me a beat to truly relax into his touch. The kiss grew in intensity, and my tongue met his halfway, releasing a flurry of sensations down my spine. His hands were on my waist, jingling the bells as his thumbs rubbed my lower back, waking up every nerve ending.
He kissed along my cheek, all the way to my ear, his fingers diving into my curls, until he finally pulled me into a tight hug, drawing a deep inhale.
“Teresa,” he whispered, like a prayer. “Teresa.”
A part of me questioned that tight grip and the slight shift in the mood, but I didn’t want to move. I didn’t want to push him away because that would have meant losing the feeling. Being aroused and safe. Loved. I’d momentarily outrun the disappointment and hurt. Maybe I could hide from it tonight, hide from all the confusing thoughts and questions. If I just stayed here and didn’t let the reality in.