Falling Madly

Chapter 14

Chapter Fourteen

Trevor

I ’d almost given up hope on it ever happening. Almost. I’d imagined it so many times—first as something fun and playful, like laughing in relief when you woke up after a bad dream. I imagined finding Teresa with me, like she’d been that night by the pool, sharing that connection I’d never had with anyone else. It was too good to throw away, so of course, she’d come around.

But she hadn’t come around. The bad dream had continued, and I’d begun to doubt our connection. It must have been in my head since she’d been willing to throw it all away over a few words. I’d tried to explain myself, explain away my actions, and I’d made it so much worse.

Then she’d started dating Richard the Dick, closing the door on us. My explanations no longer mattered, even after I finally understood how badly I’d hurt her. To me, it was just another job. For Teresa, it was her ticket, an opportunity to break new ground and become part of the A-team. And, of course, win big. That one I hadn’t expected, but I had to admit it looked bad. When I’d cashed in my coins and seen the money in my account, I’d known what I had to do.

It wasn’t that I wanted to clear my conscience. I wanted Teresa happy. I needed to see her eyes shine with joy like they did tonight, a smile crinkling the corners, desire relaxing her eyelids, making them dip.

Part of me couldn’t believe it, and I might have held her a little too tight. A little too desperately. When she pulled away, I wanted to kick myself. I apologized, and her eyes softened. She kissed me again, melting against me like she meant it, and when I hugged her, she stayed, squeezing me back.

My heart ached. I didn’t even know it could do that, but in that moment the entire beating muscle sent signals of pain, and all I could do was hold on and hope she didn’t change her mind.

I tried to wipe my eyes, so she didn’t see the moisture gathered in the corners when I finally released her.

“Are you okay?” she asked.

I gave up on masking and smiled through tears. “This is a big moment for me.”

“Dang. I was just going to say, can we please not make a big deal out of this?”

“Too late.”

She looked at her feet, speaking quietly. “I guess it’s a big deal for me, too. I never thought I’d kiss you again.”

“And now that you have…?”

She looked up, a little surprised. “I’m not done.” She took my hand and pulled me down onto the makeshift bed. I sat down, leaning on the wall, and she straddled me. We were finally face-to-face, perfectly level.

“We can analyze it later, but right now, I’m feeling hurt and horny and confused, and you’ll just have to take me as I am. I need to feel loved and seen and okay. I need to feel like I have my shit together, even if I don’t. Like I’m good enough.”

I sensed the frantic energy behind her words. The picture they painted wasn’t what I wanted for her, or for us, but I was grateful that she was with me. “Whatever you need, Teresa.”

She crashed her mouth onto mine, rocking in my lap. Her tongue swept in, hungry and electric. I was painfully hard in seconds, my body switching gears to match her mood, even when my mind fought back, arguing that this was not right. She was upset, not thinking straight. But it felt so good I could hardly think at all.

She pulled away on a moan, moving over my cock. “Fuck me, Trevor. Make me forget everything.”

I almost asked her how she liked it, but I could feel her frustration. She’d danced for me. She’d thrown herself at me. She didn’t want to think or direct this. It was my turn. I laid her down on the sleeping bag and peeled up the jingling elf top until I saw a glimpse of her black, lacy bra. She was so smooth and perfect. I counted four little moles, like a constellation, surrounding her belly button. I kissed each one, drawing my tongue down to the edge of those striped leggings. She moaned again, raggedly, tilting her hips toward me.

With one swift movement, I yanked the leggings to her knees, discovering more black lace. I dragged my tongue over the silky fabric, and she shook. “You can just fuck me, Trevor,” she gasped. “You don’t have to?—”

“I want to. More than anything.”

I followed her lead, feeling my way through the maze of the body I hoped to never stop touching and learning. Every whimper and shiver I coaxed out of her took me one step closer to losing control. I wanted to drive into her with all I had, but now was not the time.

I kept my touch light, eventually pushing aside those soaked panties until my tongue was right on her bud, teasing with feathery kisses and light taps until she made a wailing sound, pushing for more contact. I sucked her clit, and she cried out, gripping my hair with her fingers, jerking against my lips. It was the most beautiful moment of my life. Transfixed, I watched her ride it out, waiting for those muscles to relax.

I’d never felt happier with myself, even if my balls were turning blue.

“Do you have a condom?” she rasped.

“No.” I stretched out next to her on the floor. “I thought I could just give you this… but I might have to do something. I’ll go to the bathroom.”

“Stay right there.” Her voice sleepy and warm, she reached for my cock.

“I didn’t mean?—”

“I did,” she replied.

Her touch was the sweet relief my body had been waiting for all these years. I didn’t want to direct her. I’d take what she gave me. Anything. Nothing. Everything. I was hers. But I’d been waiting so long my body didn’t listen to reason. I could still taste her in my mouth and every stroke hit me like a lightning. It was all too much. So much more than I’d dared to dream. I fought back, trying to hold onto that moment. Make it last.

“You’re fucking huge.” She shuffled down my body and took me into her mouth. Oh, God. This was it. I couldn’t hold back any longer. I nearly blacked out as the powerful release rolled through me.

When I came back to earth, she was lying beside me again, watching me with a sleepy smile. “I love the sounds you make.”

“Same,” I said, although I had no idea what sounds I’d just made. I’d pretty much had an out-of-body experience with no audio track.

She rubbed her nose on my shoulder, smiling.

“How do ye feel now?” I asked, brushing a curl off her face.

“Mellow.”

“That’s good. I told ye, whatever you need.”

She rested her fingers on my bicep, and I resisted the urge to flex. “I honestly thought you’d tell me to behave myself and tuck me in bed.”

I huffed, amused. “You think I’m capable of such self-control with you?”

She sighed. “I don’t know. At the pool, you said you wanted our first time to be just right. You had these high ideals.”

“That was back then. Things change.” I wondered why it had ever mattered in the first place. All I wanted was for her to be happy. To give her what she needed.

She lifted her head and peered at me with a sense of wonder. “I basically told you I needed a no-questions-asked orgasm, and you delivered.”

“Well, a few months ago, when I tried to apologize, badly… you asked me to jump up my own ass and die. So, this was an easy request.”

“Yeah. A slight improvement.” She laughed, hanging her head. Her curls fell on my shoulder and I inhaled the scent

My heart squeezed so hard I felt that ache again, and words poured out. “And… how’re ye feeling now? I fear you might run away.”

She gave me a soft, sleepy smile. “My shoes are really slippery.”

“Good.”

“And I kind of want to see about us. Who knows?”

My achy heart leapt with joy, and I held her face, kissing her lips, cheeks, the tip of her nose. “Thank you!”

She laughed but eased into my touch. “I only said I’m willing to see about it. Cancel the skywriting proposal.”

My heart lurched a little, but I held onto hope. “That’s a win, trust me. I’d never ask you to marry me unless you had ‘yes’ written across your forehead. It may not seem like it right now, but I have some pride.” I might have been exaggerating, but it was probably best not to come across as totally desperate.

“Good. So, who did you propose to who turned you down? It’s been bothering me.”

My stomach clenched almost instantly. “It was a long time ago.”

She touched my arm, her fingers gentle. “It sounds incredibly brave. Scary brave.”

My heart pounded so hard I could almost hear it. Her eyes flickered with countless emotions, and I braced myself. I’d take the rejection. I’d made a pact with myself to not be a coward. Never again. I’d lay my heart at her feet and let her stomp on it. It was the bravest thing anyone could do. But fuck, it was hard.

I’d done it once and, in that moment, the old scars felt as fresh and sore as they’d been seven years ago. I still remembered the sting of rejection. It was a different ache. Not from a heart full of hope, glowing warm, but a radiating pain that made your insides curl up and tighten.

It had taken a long time to relax again, to feel good enough, no matter what I told myself. And here I was, looking into the eyes of a woman I wanted more than anything. I had to lay it all out.

“Her name’s Hannah. She was the girl next door. Dark curls like you. Pretty. We’d always been friends, but after my mom died, she was there for me. I think I confused that with love. I mean, she loved me, but more like a brother. After two years of sickness and sadness and death, I was so desperate to build something good. Start a family and make new memories. And I’m so grateful she said no. Because I don’t know if I loved her either. It didn’t feel like…” I clamped my mouth before I could say “this,” but I saw Teresa’s nostrils flare as she drew a breath. “It was familiar and nice, but I’ve since learned that’s not good enough for me.”

“Me neither,” she said quietly. “It was nice with Richard. Until it wasn’t. Nice can go fuck itself.”

I raised my hand, and she high fived me, her eyes like storm warnings. “Once more with feeling,” I said.

She hit my hand so hard the pain rang all the way to my shoulder. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I think I have anger issues.”

Tears sprang to her eyes, and I quickly drew her into a hug. “Hey! Hey… you were just betrayed by someone you trusted. Hit me as many times as you need.”

The irony wasn’t lost on me. She was being comforted by someone else who’d betrayed her. Teresa deserved better, but I couldn’t let her go. What if nobody else could see how amazing she was? Richard the Dick certainly couldn’t. For all my failings, I saw it. I saw her brilliance, her beauty and her bravery. She was fiercely independent, yet guileless and honest in her battles. My dragonfly.