Chapter Two.
April 2024.
Willow
S ix months had passed since Danny had been born. Danny grew more like his father every day, and it warmed and chilled me. He was a lovable and well-behaved baby. Danny was the light of my life and beautiful. But Grey’s absence marred our perfect life. What was also a fuck up, was Danny had a huge family he’d never met.
As soon as I was back on my feet, I’d run again. Fanatic would no doubt kill me, but I needed space from anything MC, FBI, or Rapid City. I spoke to Dad once a week but refused to say where I was. Undoubtably, Hawthorne’s had probably tracked me down, but I think Dad understood I need time.
Plus, I had enough of Dad’s stubbornness that I’d keep running. Work wasn’t an issue; Grey’s insurance policies had paid out, and I was set up. My bosses were proving understanding. They’d not got a lot of choice, especially as I’d used outstanding holiday, sick time and bereavement, and now was on maternity leave.
I didn’t know whether I planned to return to work. Grey had taken out a five million life insurance policy. I was shocked, but receiving it was a far bigger shock. I thought that Grey would have left everything to his parents. But no, it appeared for the last few years, I’d been named sole beneficiary on it.
Grey’s family had been informed about the baby, and I’d met them a couple of times, but again, I couldn’t deal with their grief. Worse, Grey’s mom had latched onto Danny like a lifeline, and my child wasn’t a replacement for her son. They’d pushed me for my address and for me to live with them, but I couldn’t.
Danny’s grunt caught my attention, and I leaned over and emptied his hand of sand before he ate it. He frowned at me, and I laughed. At first, my laughter and smiles had been rusty; now, they came more frequently. My son made me smile constantly.
“Well, Danny has his father’s scowl,” a clipped English accent said.
I stiffened as bare feet appeared and Fanatic sat down beside me and sunk his toes into the sand.
“What are you doing here?”
“Looking for a stubborn bitch who keeps running away with my godson,” Fanatic answered calmly.
“Is that so?” I asked, instantly riled.
“Which bit?”
“Godson!”
“Yeah. I’m the best candidate,” Fanatic stated as he grinned and pulled a face at Danny. Danny replied with a chortle, something he’d learned recently.
“I have brothers who could be Godfathers.”
“They’re assholes,” Fanatic declared, and I laughed.
“Why are you here?”
“Been a year, babe. Time to come home.”
Instantly, I rejected Fanatic’s words. No, I wasn’t ready. I’d no wish to see anyone or return to South Dakota. Rapid City was somewhere I didn’t think I’d ever revisit. It held too many painful memories. Fanatic had been right; time didn’t heal, but as each day ticked past, the pain grew easier to handle.
“No.”
“Willow, how long will you run?” “A year’s long enough to grieve?” I demanded, now angry.
“Nope. A lifetime won’t be. But Danny is losing out, and that’s unfair. He has a grandpa he’s only seen once. And Danny has a grandma waiting and uncles. Is it fair to deny him all that love? Because I tell ya, Grey would kick your ass for this,” Fanatic stated, and I wanted to claw his eyes out.
“Don’t tell me what Grey would want! Fanatic, I know better than anyone,” I snapped.
“Yeah? Then you’re aware he’d be disappointed in you,” Fanatic retorted.
Shit, that hurt. Tears welled, and I brushed them away quickly. “How dare you?” I whispered.
“Easily. Willow, I loved Grey, too. He’d have agreed with you taking a year to grieve. But Grey would have kicked your ass all over for keeping his son from family,” Fanatic said gently.
“They took Grey from me!” I exploded.
“Who did Willow?” he asked, genuinely puzzled.
“Your father. If your dad had ordered Grey to remain behind like the rest of the prospects, he’d be alive!” I hissed.
Fanatic shook his head. “Bit difficult ordering a man over thirty to stay behind. You knew full well Grey would defend the city. That’s who he was. Grey was a Fed for years, protecting the innocent was in him.” “Shut up!” I ordered, but he was right.
Protect and Serve was as ingrained as Fidelity, Bravery, and Integrity. Fuck Fanatic. I bent to pick Danny up and saw he was gone. Fanatic now had him in his lap and was playing patty cake with him. Danny was frowning in concentration before breaking into giggles. Fanatic’s expression softened as he kissed my son’s head.
Shit. Grey would kick my ass. Danny was missing out on so much, but I couldn’t return to Rapid City.
“So don’t,” Fanatic said.
“Huh?”
“Can read your face, Willow. You don’t want to return to Rapid City, so don’t. Have you forgotten there’s Deadwood, Piedmont, and Black Hawk, for example. Not that it matters, because I’ve rented a house in Spearfish. You’re coming home with me,” Fanatic explained as he held my gaze.
“You stuck-up English asshole!” I exclaimed, and Fanatic grinned.
“Babe, my accent ain’t exactly posh.”
“Shut up!”
“There she is. You can sulk and bitch while we walk back to your rental. Then start packing shit up. I’ve brought my SUV. We can pack it to the gills, and I’ve got the roof rack and a trailer to fill with your stuff.” “You can’t storm in here and dictate what I’m going to do!”
“No? Babe, I don’t mind a few days R and R. You can pack, and Danny and I will do manly bonding. Gotta teach him how to blow spit bubbles and fart on command,” Fanatic replied.
I was unsure how to respond. Fanatic sat up and held my eyes.
“You’re hurting, Willow. You’ve been suffering for a year. And you ain’t alone in that. But you’re needed back at home. Axel lost someone he loved, as did Ellen, and your brothers lost Grey twice. A brother-in-law and a club brother. Grey’s mourned across the board. Hawthorne thinks if Grey had been with them, he’d be alive.
“Dad blames himself. But Grey was always going to walk his path. Fuck, Dad put Serenity on a plane, and yet she still managed to get involved,” Fanatic said.
At Serenity’s name, my face blanked.
Fanatic frowned.
“If she’d been in Camden, that Fang would have aimed elsewhere and not shot at Serenity. Grey wouldn’t have died saving her life. Don’t talk to me about Serenity,” I hissed.
Fanatic’s eyebrows disappeared into his hairline. “So, you blame Dad and my sister.”
“Yes. Drake should have ordered Grey away. And Serenity shouldn’t have been there. I can’t face them because I’m so angry, Fanatic. I love you; you’re my best friend, but fuck them. Danny’s growing up fatherless because of those two. Grey didn’t even know I was pregnant,” I said loudly.
I drew some attention of people walking past, and I glowered. “Problem?” I hissed.
They looked quickly away.
“Do you blame me? I should have been at Grey’s side. What about you? You were his partner for years. Willow, you’d have been able to read Grey’s body language.”
“Yes, I’m responsible too! If I’d quit the FBI, Grey would have been with my team and safe!”
“Keep going down that rabbit hole, Willow,” Fanatic taunted.
“Shut up!”
“The fuck I will. Yeah, Serenity shouldn’t have been there. Did Dad offer Grey the chance to leave? Yes, and he wouldn’t. Wanna be angry at someone? What about blaming your fiancé?” Fanatic snapped.
“I do!” I yelled and burst into tears.
“And there it is. You hate yourself because you blame Grey for being who he was and not listening,” Fanatic said wisely.
Fanatic wrapped me up in his embrace and held me tight as I shouted shit. I’m sure I told him I hated his English ass. Fuck whoever was watching, they got a show for free. Finally, I calmed down and wiped the tears away.
“Now we’ve got that out of the way, I’m hungry, and we need to start packing,” Fanatic murmured.
In disbelief, I stared at Fanatic. Was he for real? It was a toss-up if I strangled him or not. Then, looking into his blue eyes, I realised Fanatic was shoving aside his own emotions and thoughts and concentrating on me.
How the hell did I end up with such a loyal friend?
◆◆◆
I was laughing as Fanatic kept the conversation light over dinner. Tears had come to my eyes when he informed me that Mac had cursed Jett and Sin, and they’d had twins. Sin had terrorised Mac, and he’d woken one night with his balls in a vice and Sin tightening it slowly.
Casey had watched, impressed and recorded Mac begging and sobbing for his nuts while Jett ordered Sin to tighten it more. The video had done the rounds. Meanwhile, Jett had a second vasectomy, and Sin had demanded the doctors to tie and cut her tubes. She was not risking another pregnancy. In fact, Sin was demanding a hysterectomy, which doctors were currently refusing.
Damn, that was funny. Ellen had informed me there’d been a rush of babies in the last few months. Apparently, over half of Rage had knocked their old ladies up just before the war. That was nice for them.
And Eddie had finally landed behind bars with Dante. Seems Eddie took offence to something the mayor had said in defending the President. Eddie and Dante put their heads together and actually worked as a tag team. They’d terrorised the man for three months before getting caught. The mayor pressed charges… Phoe ended his career. Drake didn’t know whether to brag or shout at them both.
I could laugh at that. Fanatic said that Eddie had demanded a plaque like criminals got and wanted fingerprinting.
Ramirez had to remove himself with Ben as they’d been laughing too hard. Then Eddie told them they could not put her in a cell with Big Bertha, as she was too young to be anybody’s bitch. Which had set Dante off. Both kids ended up with Howser, who looked relieved when Phoe and Drake arrived to fetch them. Damn, I’d missed a lot, and yet, even hearing the stories, I couldn’t face Rage.
Fanatic had taken me to a seafood restaurant on the beach front. It was the first time in a year I had eaten out, and I thoroughly enjoyed it. There was a light breeze, and we sat on the patio as I looked out over the North Pacific Ocean.
“In a better mindset?” Fanatic asked as I sipped a virgin margarita.
“Yeah. Crab legs never fail to lift my spirits.”
“I know. Why do you think I brought you here?” Fanatic teased.
“English smartass. How long have we known each other now?”
“Eight years. Ever since you blew into Rage, looking like a stripper with those heels and your boobs bouncing about,” Fanatic replied.
Remembering, I broke into gales of laughter.
“Damn, I must have been your wet dream!” I cried, and Fanatic nodded. “I was twenty-five then, you would have been…?”
“Twenty-one. Yeah, I beat some meat in the shower,” Fanatic admitted.
The waitress had been approaching, and her mouth dropped open as she gazed at us. Blushing red, she disappeared, and we both laughed.
“Willow, you embarrassed her,” Fanatic said.
“Did not! That was you,” I retorted as Fanatic smirked.
“Well, you were certainly spank bank material for a few of the older boys,” Fanatic added.
“Not anymore. I’m old, thirty-three this year.”
“And as beautiful as ever, Willow,” Fanatic replied seriously.
“You’re just saying that,” I brushed the compliment off.
“Nope. Trust me. You’ve grown more gorgeous as you grew older.”
Embarrassed, I blushed and ducked my head. I’d never got used to compliments, and even from Grey, they’d make me uncomfortable.
“Thanks,” I mumbled.
Fanatic chuckled, and I glowered.
The waitress approached, looking apprehensive, and Fanatic smiled. “It’s safe now. No inappropriate conversation. I apologise for my companion.”
“Fanatic!” I squealed, and Danny jumped in his seat and scowled.
“That’s such a cute baby!” the waitress said.
“He’s my Godson,” Fanatic stated proudly, and my heart melted.
Damn him. Right there and then, I accepted I’d be heading home with Fanatic. He was correct. Danny was missing out on too much.
The waitress eyed me, and I could see she was trying to work out our relationship. I couldn’t blame her. Fanatic was gorgeous and muscled. Plus, he had that English accent going for him and wore a cut. A cut belonging to a now-famous MC.
All those who’d defended Rapid City had become household names. People might not know member names, but they knew the clubs and the allies, such as Delta Force, the Juno Group, etc.
Her eyes widened as she read the patches saying Hellfire MC. Yeah, pair that with Fanatic himself, and he was droolworthy. Even as deadened as I was right now, I recognised his sexiness.
“Can we pay the bill, please?” Fanatic asked, handing her a credit card.
“Sure,” she answered and scurried away.
“Why are you single?” I demanded, putting my elbow on the table and leaning my head on my hand.
“Because my mother terrifies me with her quest for grandchildren,” Fanatic said lightly. That was probably partially the truth.
“No. Not so, Fanatic. You’ve dated women; you must have. But I’ve never seen you with anyone, nor did you ever bring anybody on dates with you,” I pushed.
“Babe, I got shot in twenty-twenty protecting Bunny, and then I was in the shootout at Magics. Afterwards, I was caught in an explosion and needed a liver transplant. I’m on anti-rejection drugs for the rest of my life. Next, the war happened. Willow, I ain’t gonna grow old with that track record, babe. It’s pointless having a relationship with somebody, only to have her watch me die after a few years.”
“Like Grey?”
“No! Grey wasn’t living with a possible liver rejection. I am. Constantly. Yeah, I’m stable and take my meds like a good boy, but with the shit around me… who the fuck knows? One bad punch, or a misfired bullet, could end my life, an accident, anything could happen. I’m more at risk because of my liver, babe.
“Look at Covid. Willow, I ended up locked in a room isolated from everyone because of my immune system being weakened. Then there are the odds. I’ve a seventy-eight per cent survival rate after five years and sixty-five after ten years. Sure, medication is improving all the time. People can live up to twenty years plus, with a transplant. But that’s only a lucky tiny percentage who do,” Fanatic explained.
“You’ll live to old age,” I swore, reaching out and grabbing his hand.
“Yeah?”
“Yes, because I won’t let you go, Fanatic. You and me against the world,” I promised.
“With Rosie and Calamity, Klutz and Aurora!” Fanatic said, and guilt swept over me.
The seven of us had been so close. And I’d cut them out like everyone else. Mainly because of my uncharitable thoughts towards Calamity. He’d been at death’s door like Grey. Yet he’d survived. Obviously, I didn’t begrudge Calamity that, and I’d never want Rosie to suffer. But Calamity was alive, and his injury had been as bad as Grey’s.
The last time I’d seen him, Calamity had a damn awful scar on his throat. The bullet had torn through his neck and ripped the carotid artery. Texas, his father-in-law, had accompanied Calamity in an air ambulance, holding a clamp in place to stop Calamity bleeding out. It was a miracle he’d survived.
“They understand,” Fanatic said softly.
“Do they? How? Because I don’t. How the hell could I hate the fact Calamity’s alive when Grey’s dead? What kind of person am I?”
“Human. That makes you human and fallible like everyone else,” Fanatic answered.
Fanatic glanced over my shoulder as the waitress and a man in a suit appeared. He stopped at our table and held out Fanatic’s card.
“Is there a problem?” Fanatic asked.
“I’m the manager, Caleb. Your money is no good here,” Caleb stated.
“Sorry, I assure you that’s my card, and there’s money in that account,” Fanatic replied.
“No, sir. You’re a hero of Rapid City. You don’t pay,” Caleb explained.
Fanatic swallowed hard. “That means a lot. It really does. But we can pay.”
“I don’t doubt it, sir, but no. It’s our honour to serve you and Agent Ware.”
My head snapped up, and I gazed at Caleb.
“Sorry, Ma’am. I recognise you from the funeral and several reports. You two are heroes, and we honour them here and respect their sacrifices. The staff here stand behind you and applaud you both,” Caleb said.
He stepped back and started clapping. The waitress shoved the tray she carried under her arm and copied Caleb’s actions. Slowly, around the bar, the staff stopped as word passed amongst them, and they began applauding, too.
Fanatic stood up and now customers could see his cut. He reached out and shook Caleb’s hand as I picked up Danny and placed him in his car seat.
With his hand holding my elbow and carrying Danny’s car seat, Fanatic led us through the applauding restaurant and outside. Several people rose to shake our hands and thank us for standing up for what was right. Fanatic coolly waved at everyone as we exited and looked at me. There was a red blush to his cheeks.
“Let’s go before someone offers to kiss our feet,” I teased, and he laughed.
“It doesn’t get easier.”
“This has happened before?” I asked.
“Yeah. A few times, everybody’s experienced it.”
“That’s kind of nice.”
“Also embarrassing. We stood up and were counted. We shouldn’t be called heroes for that,” Fanatic replied.
“But you are,” I argued.
“No, we’re not me. We’re fuckin’ heroes. Willow, you were there too,” Fanatic responded forcefully.
“That was my job.”
“You still showed, many didn’t. You could have gone sick or anything. Instead, you saddled up and rode out.”
“Fanatic, no, no, not in your accent.”
“But I love that saying.”
“Yes, it doesn’t go with the English accent, mate,” I said, and Fanatic began laughing.
“Okay, woman. Just don’t say mate again.”
“Mate, mate, mate!”
“Yeah, we’re no longer best friends, Willow.”
“Mate, mate, mate!”
Fanatic rolled his eyes and, carrying Danny, marched off.
I followed behind, cackling, and it felt like a weight had lifted from my shoulders. I wasn’t alone anymore; there was someone to share the burden with me, and that was fuckin’ amazing.