Fanatic (Hellfire MC: The Prospects #1)

Chapter Three.

Willow

T o say I was tense as we left my rental was an understatement. I had been staying just on the coast at Loon Point beach in Carpinteria, California. Beach living wasn’t something I’d contemplated before, nor did it really appeal, but it had been a nice break. The drive would take us twenty-one hours, so Fanatic had decided to make a road trip.

Typical man. Mind you, saying that, it was me who went nuts buying snacks and drinks. Fanatic was driving his SUV, which was crammed to the gills as was his trailer, and I had mine. I’d be following him and was dreading the drive home. When I’d fled Rapid City before, I’d just driven from state to state, so a long haul hadn’t bothered me. But now I really longed to avoid it.

What was sweet was, each hour, Fanatic dialled my phone and checked on me, and we stopped every three hours so I could stretch my legs. Danny was quite happy to nap, which boded ill for tonight. Fanatic insisted we pull over in Cedar City, and he’d booked a decent hotel. To my ultimate surprise, Danny downed his bottle and jar of baby food and fell straight to sleep.

It was with relief I woke the next morning and realised I’d slept the entire night. Fanatic intended for us to reach Rawlins in Wyoming next.

Today, Danny stayed mainly awake, babbling happily. I was cheered, listening to my little man even though my stomach was turning itself inside out. Honestly, I didn’t want to go anywhere near Rapid City, and certainly not Rage, not with this ball of anger in my gut.

Fanatic hadn’t commented, but I know he sensed it.

The good thing I knew was Fanatic would let me deal with shit at my own pace. The problem was Dad, Ellen, and my brothers were pushy bastards and wouldn’t. Hopefully, the distance between us, albeit only forty-five minutes, would at least stop them popping over often.

I’d not told anyone I was coming back yet; aware I’d need time to settle. My home with Grey was also a problem. I’d loved our home, but I couldn’t live there now. It had been perfect for our dreams and future family, but even the thought of stepping inside made me nauseous.

Dad would push for me to return, but I couldn’t. The house would have to be sold. Once I got my feet under me and we were settled, I’d consult a realtor. Dad was going to have to accept Rapid City and I were permanently separated!

After arriving at Rawlins, we ate, and Fanatic came to my room. As he lounged on my bed, I got Danny ready.

“Need to talk, babe,” Fanatic said.

“What about?” I asked, doing Danny’s diaper up quickly. Every time cold air touched his parts, he’d piss on me. I’d learnt to be very quick with changes.

“What to expect when we get home?” “Fanatic, my expectations are very low. I’m not going anywhere near Rapid City or Rage. I want to be left alone and not be pressured,” I replied as I shoved Danny’s feet into his onesie.

And seconds later, Danny yanked them back out and grinned at me. Seriously? Tonight, he wanted to mess about.

Giving Danny his teddy to distract him, I quickly dressed and carried him over to the travel cot I’d been using. Laying Danny down, I dimmed the lights and sank onto the bed with Fanatic. He rolled over, and I snuggled into his side.

“What’s Chance likely to do?” I inquired, concerned.

“Chance will visit, but I don’t think he’ll pressure you. Everyone’s trying to help the Unwanted Bastards and others who are in a bad shape,” Fanatic replied.

“Is Inglorious still drinking?” I asked, worried. The Unwanted Bastard President was a favourite of mine. He’d been devastated when he’d lost all but two members of his MC. There’d been discussions around a merge, but they’d been nixed.

“Nope, Inglorious is too busy chasing his tail and trying to control his woman. She’s laid the law down and turned his life upside down.” Fanatic chuckled.

“Tell me.”

“Nice try at distracting me, but not working. We gotta talk, babe.”

“About what?” I sighed. Fanatic had the bit between his teeth and clearly wasn’t letting go. That didn’t surprise me.

“What do you want to do?” he asked.

“With what?”

“You’ve got maternity leave left, but are you going to return to the bureau?”

“Don’t know. I blame them too,” I sniped, wrinkling my nose.

Fanatic’s arm wrapped around me. “You need to talk to a therapist. Willow, you can’t go through life blaming everyone. The grief you feel is turning inwards, are you blaming yourself yet?”

“Yes.” “Can we make an appointment for you to see Janet, Hellfire’s counsellor? She visits twice weekly, meeting with Hellfire’s females and some of the brothers. I can add you to the roster.”

I chewed over Fanatic’s words. There was a point to them. The blame game was in full process, and I blamed quite a few people and entities. That wasn’t healthy, and while Danny was happy right now, that didn’t mean he’d be content in a year or two’s time.

Children were sensitive creatures, and what I felt towards someone, Danny would sense and act the same way. Which was not fair. Not to Danny or his extended family. Therapy would help.

“I’ll see Janet,” I finally agreed.

Fanatic squeezed me hard. “Are you gonna avoid Hellfire like the plague?”

“Good question. I don’t have anything against Hellfire. No memories of Grey being there. I’m not going to be a party girl, but I should be able to handle Hellfire,” I replied.

“The old ladies will reach out.”

“I understand. Especially if we’re living in Spearfish.”

“Yeah. Wanna see the place I rented? It’s decent, but a stopgap for now. I want to build a house on the compound. Building exploded after the war, as most of Hellfire demanded to be there. Most brothers have homes there with massive backyards and stuff. There’s a huge swimming pool for the kids with a fantastic playground Danny will enjoy when he’s older,” Fanatic said.

“I’m sure Danny will love it when we visit.”

Fanatic nodded.

“You’re going to have to see Rage eventually. You’re a princess and a founder’s daughter. That makes you doubly special. Aurora Victoria is the only one now as Evie left with Spike to their ranch.”

I felt surprised at that. Spike had hidden his family for years, and nobody could blame him. Not after learning what happened to Evie. But I had expected Spike to reclaim his place as a founder.

“Spike hits the clubhouse three times a week, but his sons have all refused to take up their legacy. Including Volcano. Volcano states he’s had enough of MCs and wants a quiet life. Grunt patched in, but nobody else,” Fanatic explained.

“I’m shocked. I thought Volcano, Carter, and Gideon would’ve liked a place.”

“No. The obsession Fury had with Rage soured them all. And Volcano openly admitted if anyone raised a fist to his brothers, he’d not hesitate and would kill them. Volcano’s seen enough abuse,” Fanatic added sadly.

“Shit. When I think what a brute we believed Volcano to be, and he’s the opposite. I’ve no idea how he survived and stayed true to himself,” I whispered.

“Volcano had no choice. He had to protect his mom and siblings. Hell, if Fury had got his hands on Demi, it doesn’t bear thinking about,” Fanatic agreed.

“That family went through hell. Spike ghosted Rage for years, but who could blame him? His poor daughter. Evie suffered as much as Artemis, and yet she’s come out stronger for it.”

“I heard Evie speaking to Mum. She said we get one life. Fury had taken enough from her, he didn’t get to take the rest,” Fanatic replied.

“Strong woman.”

“There’s been changes at Hellfire. There are nine new candidates. Wraith, Smokey, Bone, and Slaughter all patched in early due to their actions.” “Chance held you back?” I exclaimed, aghast.

“Only for a few months. Willow, I started just after them and lost time recovering from the bomb blast. It’s fair. I’m in charge of the candidates, which Sunny is fuckin’ jubilant about. It should fall to him or Diesel to manage them, but they hate candidates, so it ended up my job,” Fanatic said, scowling.

I tried not to laugh. Fanatic hated teaching people unless they were kids. Kids he had all the time in the world for, but not adults. Fanatic was certainly borderline anti-social.

“Oh.”

“You laugh, Willow, and I’ll get revenge,” Fanatic warned.

“How’s the scholarships going?” I inquired, changing the subject. Fanatic lit up.

“Fuckin’ amazing. There’s some real talent, and we’ll starting consultations for our intake again soon. We have hired people to help run it, as it’s grown too big for us now. We’ve put a chairman in place and several admin staff, but the interviews still come through me and my siblings.”

“I’m glad, Fanatic.”

“The plan had been to utilise the Ewok Village and Rivendell and use Reading Hall as dorms, but the scholarships grew too quickly. We’ve got dormitories set up on the school grounds now, although the facilities are used at Reading Hall and will remain so,” Fanatic continued.

“I read Aaron was presented a spot at the Chiefs. Seriously, I was surprised he didn’t pick the Bears.”

“Ha, I don’t think Chicago could handle three Michaelsons running rampant.” Fanatic chuckled.

“How’s Harley’s arm?”

“Fuckin’ perfect, it’s improved, believe it or not. Cubs have offered him a three-year deal, and Harley permanently is fourth to bat now. If bases are loaded, he invariably gets at least two home. And Jared is still UFC fighting. He’s going for the title. Mum refuses to watch him, although Dad and my brothers go to see Jared fight.”

“I saw Nova took gold at her last event, and Falcon claimed his gold, too,” I said.

“Yeah, Nova is freaking amazing, considering she’s only twenty. And Falcon is the fastest out there and he keeps pushing himself. He’s like a fuckin’ fish. They’ve joined the scholarship board now and are looking for sponsorships for their sports,” Fanatic explained.

“Nice. So much talent in Rage,” I replied, genuinely pleased.

“Money helps. Look at Aria. That kid is a natural skier, but it’s such an expensive sport. Aria intends to go straight to the Olympics, which is fucking with Dante’s mindset.”

“Oh, I bet it is. Dante is an asshole who believes women belong at home. Aria has no intention of that,” I replied, thinking of nine-year-old Aria.

Eight-year-old Dante was too much of a cocky bastard for my liking. Apparently, Fanatic agreed with my assessment.

“Dante is heading for a fall. He’s far too conceited. Fuckin’ kid needs to learn humility.”

“That’s your brother,” I said, laughing.

“Yet Dante remains an arrogant little shit. I can see a lot of heartache in his future. Aria won’t put up with his bullshit. She’s got a promising career ahead. I know Dante’s eight, but I don’t think he realises Aria hates him right now.”

“Damn.”

“Mum and Dad tell Dante constantly, but he’s buoyed by the Hellions.”

I yawned, and Fanatic squeezed me. “Sorry.” “Go to bed, Willow, we’ll be home tomorrow.”

Fanatic shifted out from under me and headed out. He set the door to lock on his exit and winked as it closed on him.

I checked Danny before curling up and hugging a pillow. Just like I’d done since Grey’s death.

Fanatic

I kept expecting to see Willow disappear from my mirror and envisioned chasing her down the highway. But she stayed close as we entered South Dakota, although she did fall back a little. Willow pulled off into a diner just over the border, and I let her dither about. It had been a year since she’d been in SD.

It was easy to tell Willow was struggling. She held Danny as her eyes focused on the Black Hills. A shudder ran through her, and I got out of my car. Willow was so lost in her thoughts she didn’t hear me coming and jumped as I wrapped my arms around her.

“Don’t leave me,” she whispered.

“Not happening. We are going to go home, unpack, you can take a bath, and I’ll fetch fried chicken and doughnuts. Then we’re gonna stick on Buffy and begin from episode one and binge. Chance knows not to expect me for a few days. Tomorrow, we’ll order food or go shopping and start sorting the house out,” I said.

“Thanks, Fanatic. I don’t know what I’d do without you,” Willow replied softly.

“Girl, you’d be hiding under a stone still and refusing to face life.”

“Shut up, asshole,” Willow snapped, but there was no heat in her words.

“Come on, let’s grab a milkshake. You got the address for home?”

“Yes. And I’ve programmed it into the sat nav!”

I laughed at Willow’s exasperation and herded her into the diner. This far out, there wouldn’t be anyone we recognised. I ordered milkshakes and onion rings, nachos, burger and fries. I ensured the waitress knew to make it well done because of my liver. Willow shook her head as I grinned.

“Hungry?” she teased.

“Get off your high horse, lady. You know you’ll eat it with me. Why do you think I asked for two plates. And it’s time, little dude here, tried a fry.”

“You’re going to give Danny a French fry?” Willow said, trying to sound outraged.

Danny blinked.

“Better than the mushed-up crap Mummy feeds you, isn’t it?”

Danny stared and then babbled in agreement.

“You need to get a woman, Fanatic. You’d be a great Dad,” Willow announced, surprising me.

“Nah. Told ya, babe, I’m not leaving a woman and kids hanging because my sorry ass died of liver complications.”

“And you might be one of those to make it to old age, Micah.” Willow dropped my road name and held out her hand.

I grasped it. Calling me Micah showed me she was serious about what she said, but it didn’t hold water. Not anymore. My fate had been determined the moment a wall fell on me and wrecked my liver.

I’d accepted my life span would be shorter than most of those around me. Bitterness had been a constant companion for a long damn time. Even up to the war, I resented my fuckin’ situation. Then we lost the Unwanted Bastards, Hawthorne’s men, Calamity nearly died again—and we lost Grey and so many others. That had shocked me out of my self-pity, and now I was grateful every day I woke up.

Lives had been changed. Families had lost loved ones, parents had lost children, siblings had died, and so had Mums and Dads. Yeah, I was fuckin’ overjoyed to be alive because I could have ended up in the ground.

Abruptly, I was startled from my thoughts by the waitress who brought our plates over.

She smiled at me, and I nodded a thanks as I grabbed a knife and cut the burger. I checked it had been thoroughly cooked and put half on a plate and pushed it over to Willow. The huge ass basket of fries was placed in front of both of us, and I did the same with the nachos and onion rings.

Willow loved both dishes, so I wasn’t surprised when she tucked in. Meanwhile, I grabbed a fry and blew on it before handing to Danny. Amused, I watched as Danny shoved it straight in his mouth.

Willow glanced at him as his eyes widened. Danny removed the fry and looked at it before shoving it back in. Willow began to laugh as he sucked it to death.

“Guess Danny likes fries,” I said as the waitress placed our shakes in front of us.

“You didn’t answer me.”

“Huh?”

“Micah. You’re gonna be the guy who beats the odds and makes it to old age.”

“Sorry, babe, I didn’t realise you wanted a reply to that. The odds are against me. Yeah, I’m fit for my age and keep myself in shape. But a couple of bad chest infections, and I could keel over.”

“You won’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because, asshole, you’re my best friend, and I need you,” Willow said honestly.

“Good, because I’d shoot anyone who tried to steal that role from me.” “Fanatic! You can’t say that to a federal agent.” Willow began laughing hard.

“Just did, babe. Get over it,” I teased, taking a bite of the burger.

Willow suddenly became serious. “Promise me one thing.”

“What?” I asked around my food.

“If you do find the one. Don’t run from her. Don’t push her away. You deserve love, too, even if you think you don’t.”

“Yeah,” I agreed. That was an easy promise because I’d no intention of letting anyone get that close to me. Someone had long ago claimed my heart, and nobody else could have it.

Willow’s eyes narrowed at the ease of my answer, but I shoved another fry at Danny and distracted her.

Willow

I parked behind Fanatic on the huge drive belonging to a house on Custer Street. It was a beautiful building and looked well taken care of. The flower beds had flowers poking out, and the home was large enough for us. I spotted a couple of curtains twitching as Fanatic got out, and I joined him.

“You approve?” Fanatic inquired softly.

“Yeah, it looks nice.”

“Four-bedrooms, man cave, small snug, living room, two half baths and two bathrooms.”

“Great. Plenty of space for any lady friends you might bring back,” I teased.

Fanatic rolled his eyes. “Not happening, Willow. If I wanted company, number one, I’d never bring them to where you and Danny are. Secondly, I don’t do long-term and bringing them home smacks of my offering more than one night. Thirdly, I do not need some clingy assed bitch turning up and creating drama.”

“Wow, you thought this through,” I said, laughing.

Fanatic nodded. “Seen enough drama with the hang-arounds and previous club whores. Bar flies still turn up at Hellfire, though they’re encouraged to leave, unless a brother takes a fancy. With nine new candidates, I reckon drama might increase. But God help the first bitch that disrespects an old lady.”

“Where would you take a woman?” I asked, interested.

“My room at the clubhouse, and then she’ll do the walk of shame. Shit, I sound like a right playboy. I fuck ’em and make ’em leave, Willow. I’m not interested in clingy or somebody reading more into a quick lay. Could you imagine them questioning when I take my meds? That shit’s personal, and I don’t want someone eyeing me like a meal ticket,” Fanatic stated.

“But you are shacking up with me?”

“Yeah. Because you’re my bestie, and you ain’t walking this road alone. You find somebody, Willow, I’ll step back, but you’re never gonna be alone.”

Fuck. That made tears well in my eyes, and Fanatic chuckled as he threw an arm around my neck. Gently, he hauled me in close and kissed the top of my head.

“Come on. Let’s check it out.”

“Are you telling me you didn’t tour this?” I gasped.

“Nah. I told the realtor if I find anything wrong, I’d break his legs!”

“Fanatic!” I squealed as he grinned.

“You’re so easy, Willow!”

“Fuck you!”