Fearless Sinner (Empire of Sinners #3)

Chapter 13

Cillian

Chapter Thirteen

Chloe slides her hot little mouth over my cock and I feel like the king of the fucking world.

She takes me deep into her mouth. As she sucks I lace my fingers through the silky strands of her hair and pound into her mouth.

Fuck. This is everything. This moment makes up for all the shit I’ve been dealing with over the last few weeks.

This woman feels like a gift from the gods to restore my sanity. Or maybe she’s here to make me crazier. Because look at me, here to claim eighteen and a half minutes and timing everything I do with her so I get just enough of everything.

I’ve been pitching a tent since last night when I all but dismissed her from my sight.

Little did she know that I wanted to take her right there on the sofa.

It was too soon for that; this is better.

I get the feeling, though, that she wouldn’t have complained too much if I had just taken her.

I smelled her arousal when I first kissed her and I knew she wanted me.

Now I have her and I feel alive.

I pound harder into her mouth, making her deep-throat me until a tear slides down the side of her cheek.

I fuck her face and she continues to take me.

Good girl.

On her knees before me she looks like a goddess, and it’s me who should be worshiping her.

Because this is it. This is the last time I’m supposed to see her. There’s no reason for me to see her after this and the sane part of me knows that she needs to be with someone good.

Someone safe. Someone who’s not like me. The mafia boss.

She needs a guy who doesn’t have to carry a gun or sleep with one eye open in case his enemies decide to attack him and slaughter everyone in his house.

I’d gotten lost in my fascination with her, and I lost myself, too. I’m not even going to fuck her tonight.

It’s crazy. But I won’t do it because I don’t want her to think she owes me sex because I released her from the debt.

Damn it, I’m losing control. Her mouth on my cock feels too good, and my fucking five minutes are up. I stopped counting when pleasure took control.

My balls draw up and I lose it. I come, blowing my load into her mouth with a triumphant roar.

Her dainty hands slide up my hip, and she holds me tighter while her mouth continues to work me. She milks what’s left of my cum until my pumps slow.

I take her hands, holding me as if this was more for her pleasure than mine. And when she stops and I pull out of her mouth, I don’t even need to tell her to swallow.

She does it anyway. As she looks up at me, her cheeks color fiercely.

She seems surprised at herself and anxious. Anxious about what we’ll do next.

I reach for her arm and guide her to stand, then I just kiss her. Not like I did before. This kiss is me savoring her. I savor the way she tastes, how she feels as her soft body sinks into the hardness of mine, and the little sounds of pleasure she makes.

When I feel myself growing hard again, I stop.

The action shocks her and I shock her even more when I tuck my cock back into my pants, zip up, and take a step back. She seems to figure out that I’m leaving.

“Goodbye, Chloe.”

Her eyes widen and her lips part. “What? Why?”

“Time's up.” I try to regain my usual cockiness but it doesn’t really work.

“It doesn’t have to be.”

I nod slowly and pick up the sheet to wrap it around her. I can’t look at her naked like that and keep my head together.

“It’s up. You can be free now.”

There’s a tremor in her lips. It ripples down to her hands and she brings them together. “I’m not going to see you again, am I?”

“No. It’s best you don’t.”

“Why?” She looks like she can’t understand although I know she does.

“I’m still a monster, and sometimes I have horns. I don’t want you to see them.” I won’t add that I also have serious motherfuckers for enemies and don’t want to put her in unnecessary danger.

I’m sure Lance is watching me and, right now, he thinks I’m here because of Harlan. If he ever knew I’m here because of Chloe, she’d automatically be in danger.

She had a brush with darkness when she was with Nathan but that doesn’t mean she’s from my world.

Chloe presses her lips together, then she looks like she might say something more to counter my comment but stops herself. She knows I’m right. There’s nothing to say. There are no work arounds or but anythings. The truth is the truth.

I’m the leader of the Irish mafia and I’m part of the Creed. She is a girl who deserves to live her life free of that.

With that reasoning, I turn to walk away but Chloe rushes forward, grabs my arm, and pulls me down for another kiss.

She tastes so sweet and ripe with sin and temptation that I lose sight of my reasoning to leave and I kiss her back.

I almost, almost pick her up and choose to forget my plans but my logic takes back control and I tear myself away from her.

This time I don’t say anything. And I don’t look back either. If I do, I will change my mind and stay.

I head through the door and leave with the plan to never return.

I know I’ll miss Chloe.

My fascination with her turned into something more very quickly. It happened last night the moment her lips touched mine.

She unlocked something inside me that’s been dead for years.

She made me want more. Something more than eighteen and a half minutes, and even more than one night in my bed.

That’s something I’m not sure I can have without losing myself again, the way I did before.

I normally spend Sunday with Seamus or Virgo and Olivia, but today I’m supposed to be meeting the list of potential brides at lunchtime.

I started the day off wrong when my mind went straight to Chloe. I was thinking about her even more by the time the women came around.

I have twenty beautiful women gathered in my living room dressed like they’re here for a pageant.

Seamus is here, too. I invited him so he could see that I’m making the effort. I also needed his clarity of mind. I’m not thinking straight.

I wasn’t thinking properly before Chloe blew into town, and now that I’ve tasted her, my head is all over the place. No matter what I do I just can’t seem to think past her, so as the ladies file into my office to meet with Seamus and I, no one seems suitable.

One by one they come in and we talk for ten to twenty minutes, but not one of them is who I want.

I’m down to the last girl, a schoolteacher and a singer on the side. She comes from a good family who is part of the Italian mafia and an ally with the Creed.

Seamus likes her. I can tell straight away from the questions he asks and the warm way he smiles. He also likes that her family business is investments and hedge funds. That was one benefit he mentioned about Jessica that made sense because it would complement what we already have with our bank.

The girl—I’ve forgotten her name—smiles sweetly at me when she finishes answering my last question, which was about her goals for the next five years.

At least I was listening. She says she wants kids, and her time would be dedicated to taking care of our kids.

I tried to imagine the mental picture of us and what that would look like. I hadn’t thought of kids because this was just going to be a six-month thing for me.

I’m definitely not thinking about them now when I can’t even remember this girl’s name.

She stares back at me expectantly, waiting for me to say something. Seamus looks at me, too, and I realize I zoned out again.

“Thank you. That was great.” I try to sound like I’m really interested.

“Oh. Thank you. Do you have any more questions for me?” She smiles, revealing perfect white teeth I half expect to sparkle like in the movies. All these girls have the same look, like they were groomed to be a bride. There’s not one single flaw I can see. They’re all picture perfect.

“No, that was my last question.”

“When will I hear back from you?”

“By the end of the week.”

“Then I shall look forward to it. I think you and I will be incredible together.”

I give her a thin smile and don’t answer.

“I’ll see you out, dear,” Seamus says, rising.

The two leave my office and I rest my head back against the chair, wishing I could disappear into the soft leather for a day.

Seamus returns a few minutes later with a proud smile and a bounce in his step. “I like her for you. I thought she was perfect.”

No, Uncle, she wasn’t. I said goodbye to the perfect woman last night.

“Yeah. She was nice.” I decide to humor him.

“The other girl with the auburn hair seemed like a good fit, too. I sensed chemistry between you.”

I don’t even remember who that was. “Yeah, maybe.”

Seeing my despondency, he frowns. “Cillian, please get yourself together. This is important. I’m aware you’re thinking of finding someone for six months, but wouldn’t it be great to find someone compatible enough to spend the rest of your life with?”

I feel sorry for him. I can see how badly he wants that for me. He wants me to have what Olivia and Virgo have and what he previously had with his wife, my aunt George Anne. Seamus loved her so much that he never thought to be with another woman after she died. She’s been gone for several years now.

“Don’t worry about me, Uncle. I’ll pick someone and everything will fall into place.”

“I’m hoping for a little more than that. I notice you haven’t spoken about Jessica at all.”

“And I’m not going to.”

“I’m just bringing her up again because you know her. It can be difficult with an arranged marriage to get to know the other person. With her you wouldn’t need to do that.”

“I know. But it’s a no from me when it comes to her. Especially after meeting better choices today.” I say that partly because it’s true and also to humor him.

“Okay. I will speak with her father once you’ve made your choice.”

“Thanks.”

“How about we head out for dinner? I feel like today was a win, and it should be celebrated.”

“Sure, let’s do that.” If nothing else, going out will be a distraction.

We head into the city to our favorite restaurant. It’s French. Seamus has always been obsessed with French food and wine.

We stay there until nightfall then leave.

The moment I’m alone it takes seconds for the image of Chloe’s naked body to re-enter my mind.

By the time I arrive back home I think of how she tasted. I swear that sweetness of her pussy is still in my mouth. So is the image of her lying naked on her bed while I ate out her pussy.

The memory of the glorious sound of pleasure humming from her lips fills my ears and I remember how she looked coming undone in my arms.

As she arched into my face, bowing so far back the moon glistened off her puckered nipples, I think I lost my mind then, too.

Fuck. I‘m so fucking hard my dick is leaking. There’s only one thing I can do to relieve myself.

I head straight to my ensuite, strip off, and enter the shower. I turn the water on cold. It blasts over me and I grab the head of my dick. Then I start pumping and jerking my dick like I’m a fucking teenage boy.

This is the result of my wonderful idea to get just a taste when I wanted so much more.

I wanted to bury myself deep inside her and hear her scream with pleasure when I pounded into her.

I wanted to wrap her legs around my waist, shove her up against the wall, and fuck her raw. I wanted to own her.

On that thought, I blow my load. I come hard but it’s nothing like last night when I took her mouth.

Feeling frustrated, I dip my head, allowing the water to flow over me.

Athair used to say that sometimes I had a bad habit of making things worse.He was fucking right.

There are some women you leave alone.The concept, however, is lost on a devil like me because I’m a selfish bastard who just got his first taste of the forbidden fruit that should be off-limits.

That’s what takes me back to her house two hours later. It’s ten o’clock but Chloe is still not home.

I’m parked across the street in a row of other cars that belong to the neighbors.

Visiting hours at the hospital are over at nine, so I imagine Chloe will be home soon. I also remember her saying that Roxanne would be staying over.

I’m not exactly sure what I’m going to do, but I’m here.

I wait and wait like the devil waiting for some poor bastard to slip up so he can consume his soul. Then finally an SUV pulls up on the drive. I don’t know that car.

And I don’t know the guy who gets out of the driver’s seat either.

Who the fuck is he? A cousin? A friend? Or is he some other guy who might have interest in Chloe?

Why wouldn’t he? She’s a beautiful woman. The same one who hooked me with a picture and a kiss.

Chloe gets out of the car and my eyes glue to her. Roxanne slides out, too, carrying some grocery bags, then the three make their way to the front door.

I’m crazy enough to get out of my car, march over there and ask who this guy is. But my mind is at ease when Chloe walks into the house and the guy leans across to Roxanne to kiss her.

The way he slips his arm around her suggests they’re a couple. Good. Problem solved. Back to the previous problem. The one where I’m still trying to figure out why I’m here.

From where I am I can see through the windows on this side of the house. The room at the top left is Chloe’s.

I watch her move into the kitchen with Roxanne and the supposed boyfriend. Then she leaves the kitchen and disappears from my view.

I see her again when she enters her room. My desire returns and I remember I’m a man with no morals when she pulls her top over her head, revealing a black lace bra. I can just make out the outline of her nipples pressing against the fabric. The sight makes me salivate and I remember feasting on those tits.

I can’t see her bottom half and I curse the universe when she walks out of my view and into the bathroom.

She returns ten minutes later wearing pajamas and her wet hair in a messy bun.

Instead of going to bed she heads back downstairs, joining Roxanne and the boyfriend in the living room. They’re watching TV and eating popcorn.

If Roxanne and the boyfriend weren’t there, I’d be inside already. In fact, I would have gotten to Chloe before she even stepped inside the house.

So I guess that answers my question.

I can’t leave her alone.

That’s the answer.

I can’t leave her alone and last night clearly wasn’t goodbye.

The same thing that had me thinking up some game to free her from the debt is back to screw with me.

At the bar I saw her desperation. She wanted the freedom to live her life the way she wanted to after she sent her piece-of-shit boyfriend to jail. I knew that couldn’t have been easy for her, but she did it.

She didn’t need to jump from the frying pan into the fire, the situation I’d thrust on her, so I thought I’d give her a break.

It wasn’t her fault that her mother got herself mixed up with Harlan. And I figured that if Harlan could fool me and people like Jaxon, her mother couldn’t be blamed for falling for his shit.

So I helped Chloe because… I like her. It might even be a little more than that. If it weren't, I wouldn’t be here.

Fuck me. I’m in the worst shit I’ve ever been in in my life, and I’m here sitting in my car on a Sunday night with a woman I shouldn’t want mudding my brain.

I stay here for a few more minutes taking in her soft beauty in the faint flicker of the TV light. Then I make the difficult decision to leave.

But this isn’t goodbye either. As I drive away I think of another excuse to see her again.

I know I have to as soon as possible because she feels like mine.