Fierce Monarch (Gilded Empire Book 3)

Chapter 1 – Mari

For the first time since Cash poked his head out of the ground, I let myself get drunk. It was a safety measure for everyone, really. I was angry enough to burn down more than a few more buildings.

Nate was a Beckstrom. Cash’s brother. An Ace.

He’d betrayed me.

And now he was gone.

Cash dropped his bomb and ran before the dust settled, shepherding Nate out the door while I tried to figure out if the other leaders were going to kill me on the spot. In the end, they walked out first with the silent, seething disrespect that started coups, and I knew we were poised on the brink of an all-out war. I didn’t know how to process any of it, so I packed it away like I could shove it into a corner of my mind and forget. A problem for another day.

Today, all I could think about was my broken heart.

All this time, the traitor was closer than I ever thought possible.

I’d let him into my family, my home, my body. I’d given him all the insight he wanted into me. I’d practically begged for it. Then there were the things we talked about at night in the dark, wrapped in nothing but the soft sheets and each other’s warmth. The dreams I’d had while I was desperate for love and commitment. The words he whispered into my hair when no one was looking.

All of it—lies.

Every time I remembered, I took a drink to dull the rage, grimacing the entire time. I hated vodka. Having to drink it to numb myself made me even angrier, so I drank more until I was stuck in a vicious cycle.

Drink, rage, drink, rage.

In no time, I was through the first bottle and reaching for the second.

Which was how Greyson found me, smashed out of my mind and throwing punches at a heavy bag in my gym. I normally left the door open, but the thought of seeing someone when I was so far from okay made my skin tight. I couldn’t do it. So the door stayed closed.

I should’ve fucking locked it.

“Mari.”

His voice was careful. So careful. I hated it.

“Don’t treat me with kid gloves, Greyson,” I snarled. My knuckles were aching, swollen, and split already, but I didn’t care. I needed an outlet.

Grey stepped behind the bag, holding it for me. “Even if you need them?”

His gaze was a brand on my shocked skin, warm and so full of love I could feel it. I didn’t want to feel anything, so I avoided his eyes like it was my goddamn job. If I looked, I’d break, and I couldn’t afford to break.

“I don’t.”

I did. I absolutely did. Because I was dying inside.

Nate lied to me. He betrayed my trust. He put my people in jeopardy. He’d put me in jeopardy.

Traitor.

Was he still a traitor if he was never actually mine to begin with?

“He lied.” My voice was smooth, but my insides roiled. Grief, still fresh and bruising, pummeled me, threatening to bring me to my knees. I’d become accustomed to it early in life, the idea that no one was permanent, but the first bite was still the worst. This was no different.

“I know,” he said with a sigh.

I didn’t respond, nor did I stop punching, but Grey never stopped talking, even when I tuned him out. For the first time in so long, his voice wasn’t the soothing balm it usually was. It didn’t heal me; it made me ache. It was a reminder of what we’d lost. A future I hadn’t realized I’d been looking toward. It hurt so fucking bad to see it all blown to smithereens.

“You’re going to hurt yourself.” The words pulled me back, and I stepped away from the bag. Grabbing my water bottle, I swished my mouth out and spat into the nearest trash can. Red caught my eye, and I realized half my knuckles were cracked and bleeding. The sight, the physical manifestation of my pain, made me laugh, though it was borderline hysterical. “Pretty sure I’m already there.”

“Mari, I’m?—”

“Don’t,” I snapped. “This is on me. I brought him here. I inducted him. I fucked him. This is my fault. Everything is my fault.”

Greyson looked like he wanted to argue, but at my glare, he backed down. I knew he’d beat himself up too, but there was only enough guilt in this room for one, and I was determined to carry it until I died. A permanent reminder of how foolish trusting someone made me.

“How deep did he get?” I asked, stepping over to the first-aid cabinet. I wanted to let my knuckles fester, but who knew when the others would come after me. I couldn’t afford a handicap when it could mean the difference between life and death.

Grey leaned against the wall, swiping through his tablet as I cleaned the cuts, layered on some salve, and wrapped them. The stuff was a family recipe from Tennessee’s mee-maw and the shit worked miracles, so I’d probably be healed up in a day or so.

“I’m not sure. His credentials didn’t give him access to much, but he could have found out any of ours by being observant, though that would’ve only given him access to the archives. He didn’t have biometric access to anything but the house unless he hacked the system.” He paused, writing himself a note in his phone before continuing. “Regardless, I already changed everything. Passwords, biometric scans, et cetera. I’ve moved the location of the safe houses, swapped warehouses, and even gotten the three of us new phones and numbers, but honestly, there’s really no telling what he could have found out. He was here for a long time.”

Just long enough to make me love a lie.

Nate knew everything. All our plans, my goals, everything—and now, so did Cash. Nate had said he believed in me, that he believed I was doing the right thing against his brother, all so he could gather all the ammo he needed to shoot me in the back.

I’ll never stop loving you, he’d whispered last night while he’d held me in his arms. While we’d made love.

What a fucking joke.

“He knew.” Knew he was coming home and fucked me anyway. Held me anyway. Told me he loved me anyway.

I thought the look in his eyes was devotion when it was really goodbye. He’d wanted one last orgasm before he broke me. The fact that he’d been so cruel, so disgusting, made me want to scrub my skin until I got rid of the cells that touched him.

Greyson’s sigh was sad. “We have to keep moving, Mari.”

“How?” I turned to him with burning eyes courtesy of the booze, desperate for an answer I wasn’t sure he could give.

How do we fix this?

How do we move on?

Where do we go from here?

My chest ached because we both knew what I really wanted to know. How could he do this to me?

“I don’t know, reina.” His voice broke for me. For us. For the family that we thought we’d made, and just like I knew I would, I broke too.

Tears ran in tracks down my face, though I caught the sob before it could leave my throat. Nate could have my tears—could fucking drown in them if he wanted—but he didn’t get my voice. My body curled in on itself, desperate to protect my soft spots as I let myself fall. Grey wrapped himself around me, following me down to kneel at my back on the floor. He held me tight, whispering nonsensical words in my ear and running his hand down my hair as I tried so fucking hard to rein it in again.

I would not break. Not for Nate. Not for Cash. Not for fucking anyone.

When I felt stable enough to stand on my own, I did. My legs wobbled like a newborn foal, but they held. They would always hold. I had to be strong enough for that.

Greyson’s scent lingered on my skin, a reminder of the home I’d always had, and it gave me the courage to ask, “What would you do?”

“If it were anyone else, I’d suggest normal protocol for spies.”

Assassinate him, he meant.

Grey cleared his throat quietly, like the noise would set me off. “I can find someone to do it discreetly if you’d prefer, but I didn’t want to assume.”

I debated it. Truly, I did. But I couldn’t imagine a world without Nate Black in it, even if Nate Black wasn’t real.

He’d hurt me, broken my trust, and still, I couldn’t sic my people on Nate like a pack of dogs. I couldn’t hurt him. Pain or not, my heart beat for him just like it did for Greyson and Dominic. Until I cut his part out and cauterized the wound, I couldn’t sign his death sentence.

“Leave it for now. If anything, it’ll lull them into complacency until we’ve decided the correct course of action.” I sighed and moved over to the weight bench. My legs were too unstable for running, so I’d lift until my arms fell off. Although, they were already feeling wobbly. “Where’s Dominic?”

“Destroying his room. It’ll need a complete overhaul.”

Couldn’t blame him. If I could destroy the house itself, I would. The walls were too ingrained with memories for me to ever feel happy between them again. They were already closing in, and I dreaded the reminders I’d find upstairs.

So, don’t go up there.

Sometimes I forgot that I was rich.

“Start looking for a new house. We’ll need to move.” I slid under the weight rack, fine to keep the base weight as a warm-up, but I didn’t reach for it yet. I was too caught up in my own head. The idea of a fresh start appealed more the longer I considered it.

Greyson tapped something else and flipped the tablet to show me two homes. From the pictures alone, I liked them. “Already done. These look good.”

“We’ll buy them both, retrofit, and then move to whichever one suits best at the time. We can always use the other as a decoy.”

He made a note on his phone then slipped both it and the tablet into his jacket. “For now, I’ve got the penthouse at the Celestine ready for the three of us.”

I was always grateful for Greyson, but in the middle of a personal crisis, I was in awe of how well he knew me. He could take care of me in ways I couldn’t fathom.

“The Celestine’s perfect. Thanks, Grey.”

It was a luxury condo building not far from Shara’s place, deep in the heart of my territory. With building security some of the best outside our compound, we always kept the penthouse ready in case of emergencies. Plus, we owned the whole building, so we could keep the family close while we worked through Nate’s treachery. Considering how dangerous life had just become, it was the best solution we had.

Cash had placed a target on our backs, and Nate helped him.

I sat up on the bench without lifting a thing. My head was too messy to be holding anything above my body. I’d be just as likely to slip and hurt myself. “I’m going for a shower.”

As I moved past him, Greyson stopped me with a soft hand around my bicep. “I’m sorry, Mari.”

Staring at him, I saw the agony I was carrying reflected in his eyes. When I hurt, he hurt, and I was fucking decimated.

“Me too.” I looked away, swallowing tears and anguish in one shard-filled gulp. He was right; we had to keep going. “I want us moved in to the penthouse by the end of the night. The others can follow tomorrow.”

“I love you, reina.”

I couldn’t say it back. All I could think about was last night in Nate’s arms.

I’ll never stop loving you.

Smiling tightly at Grey, I went upstairs, locked myself in my bathroom, and cried into the shower like someone had died.