Chapter 13 – Mari
With Nate’s reveal, I’d left one person to simmer.
Derek, the poor fool, had been slowly losing his mind, looking over his shoulder as if the boogeyman was coming. He was right.
The Seattle morning was crisp and cold, perfect for a snatch-and-grab in public. People were too focused on their first cup of coffee and getting out of the rain to pay attention to a single work van and a screaming man.
“You can’t do this to me! I haven’t done anything. Please!” The ranting was immediate and jarring. A nod at Dominic had Derek’s hands and feet bound, his mouth gagged.
Ah, blissful silence.If you ignored the grunting.
We took him to the mansion, mostly because I needed the Celestine to be free of Cash and Nate, but also because, while we had an interrogation room set up in our new home, I didn’t want to use it yet. Not for this.
I wanted to christen it with someone bigger.
Dominic and Greyson hauled him inside, setting him up in the same chair we’d put his buddy in. It felt poetic to have them meet their ends in the same space, albeit separated by time. I busied myself with the instruments around us while they worked, trying to forget all about the last time we’d been here.
How Nate had disappeared and left someone else in his wake. How I’d had to bring him back from the brink.
Or had I? Was that a lie too? He’d looked haunted, but I knew better than to assume that Nate was anything but a good actor at this point.
Treacherous, lying Beckstrom bastard.
When I was finally ready to make my little friend squeal, I’d worked up a full head of steam and was beyond ready to go.
Too bad Derek wasn’t interested in my sorts of games.
“Look, I heard Cash called him home. I’ll give you whatever information you want.”
Him. Nate.
Dominic and Greyson settled close by, the latter with his tablet out and ready for notes.
“Why would I believe you?” I asked, getting close enough to whisper. “You’re a liar and a thief.”
He panted in the chair, eyes wild as he tried to find an escape. “Because he was my contact. I did this for my family, I swear!”
“Tell me, and we’ll see if I’m feeling lenient after.”
Derek nodded over and over like a bobblehead. “I first met Cash when I was a teenager. My father introduced us.”
“Your father, Marshall. Correct?”
Derek nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, that’s him. He brought me to the docks for my first day, and on the way home, he said he had a stop to make.”
“Cash.”
“Yeah. Before we got out, Dad told me to do whatever he said. When I asked why, he said we protect our family.”
I looked at Grey, who flipped through his tablet quickly. “Two sisters, both younger.”
“Three,” Derek corrected quietly. “My old man had an affair after Molly, the second youngest, was born. They had a baby, though she stayed with her mom.”
“And instead of threatening to reveal that child to your mother, Cash threatened to kill her?” Derek didn’t even have to answer. I could read between the lines and see I was right. Pulling up a chair in front of him, I settled in for a long story. “Go on.”
“Cash said he’d called the meeting to meet me.”
“You, specifically?” Grey asked.
Derek nodded. “Said it was time to meet the new generation.”
“Was Nate there?”
“Yeah, but he was younger than me.” A teenager, if my math was correct. Had Nate been working for Cash his whole life? Derek continued, unaware of where my thoughts were leading. “After they asked me a bunch of questions, they beat my dad. Told me to remember this because it was my future if I said a word against him.”
Or if he didn’t do what they asked. “Tell me everything.”
And he did.
Derek told me about Nate being in charge of pickups, about how he destroyed Derek’s apartment as a “warning.” He told me all about how they made the overages work and how Porter got involved. He gave me the names of the others, even though I already knew them. Strapped to a dirty chair in my basement, Derek spilled every secret he’d ever had. And the whole time, Dominic sat in witness and Greyson typed his little notes.
I knew it was coming; I expected every second of it, but I wasn’t prepared for how much it hurt. Nate was deeply enmeshed in Cash’s empire. Despite the fact that his brother was dangerous, he was the man’s second. His go-to guy when he was home.
How did I reconcile that Nate with the one who’d stolen my heart?
Dominic not so carefully fed Derek some water, splashing half of it down his chest. The man had talked for hours and I knew he was dying of thirst, but he didn’t complain.
I’d long since stopped interrogating him, instead letting him get it all off his chest. We all knew Derek was going to die, so who cared if I was a little kinder to him than others? He wasn’t going to tell. He’d fallen into this shit because his father had forced his hand. He didn’t know any other way. I understood it, even if it was the wrong choice. “Nate wasn’t here the whole time, though. Right?”
“No, he left for the military after he graduated high school.” He looked down at his legs, eyes growing unfocused. “When Nate was gone, Cash sent his other henchmen. Let’s just say, I preferred his little brother.”
“Why?” Dominic asked. He looked as relaxed as ever near the door, but the tightness in his jaw said he wasn’t happy with what we’d heard.
“Because he has a soul.”
“What makes you say that?” Grey’s silence hadn’t gone unnoticed.
“Before he left, he hid my sisters. All three of them.”
I jerked my head up from where I’d been watching the floor, contemplating Derek’s words. “What do you mean?”
“He got them out of town, living in Idaho.”
He’d moved the sisters out of Cash’s reach.
“Why did he do that?”
Derek shrugged. “Said he wished someone had done it for him.”
Because Cash nearly killed him once, and anyone that unhinged wasn’t stopping at one attempt. How many lives did Nate have? How many deaths had he escaped? Did it make a difference to me what he’d survived, when he’d thrown me to the wolves?
I wasn’t sure, and it pissed me off. “You’re singing his praises, but he threatened your family before. He beat your father. Hell, he probably beat you. Why say anything good about him?”
“Because we’re human. We make mistakes. But I don’t think our mistakes are the sum of our souls.”
If he was going to get religious, I was leaving.
Dominic scoffed. “You find Jesus, Derek?”
“No. Just self-reflection. Happens when you know you’re going to die.”
Oh good. A pragmatist.
“This has to do with Nate, how?”
Derek sighed, trying to get comfortable in his bindings before giving up. “Not everything is black-and-white. I betrayed you for my family, even when I didn’t want to. Yet I’m telling you everything I know now. I’ve made an effort to balance the scales. Nate hurt me because he had no choice, yet he protected my sisters when he didn’t have to. Which shows his character more?”
“What else did you do to balance the scales?” I asked, trying not to let his words sink in.
Did Nate’s kindness show his character more than his treachery? Could I forgive a liar if his reasons were sound? I didn’t know. I could’ve understood the actions of a desperate man. It was the lying I struggled with and the blatant disrespect that bothered me.
Lies were just words people said to keep you warm and compliant. I didn’t want manufactured friendship or love; I wanted honesty. I wanted something real.
Wasn’t I worth the truth?
“I helped when I could,” Derek said. “Gave money and volunteered.”
“For the family,” I corrected pointedly. “I don’t give a fuck about your good deeds when those people aren’t the ones you betrayed.”
Derek swallowed, clearing his throat. “I slipped you tips, told you where Cash would be when he stopped by for one of his reminders.”
I glanced at Grey, refusing to let the surprise show on my face. He didn’t even have to look at his tablet to shake his head.
We hadn’t gotten any tips. Not one in all the years I’d been in power.
“Who did you tell?” Because even if it was easier to believe Derek was lying, I didn’t think he was. In fact, I’d bet a lot of money that he wasn’t.
“I don’t remember.”
Okay, now he was lying.
“Derek,” I warned softly. “If you start lying to me, this is going to have a much bloodier end.”
“I’m already going to die,” he said with a shrug. “At least my siblings will be safe when I go.”
He was right. I wasn’t going to touch his sisters. I was a murderer, but even I had standards. We kept asking, needing that answer, but he stayed resolutely silent. Nothing we did could pry the name from his lips.
That he was willing to die with his secret told me how much power that person really had. It terrified me.
Derek’s end was messy, but quick. A gift for his willingness to spill Cash’s secrets, even if he had to die for spilling mine. The bloody slash on his throat was more personal than a bullet to the head, a message to Cash and his people.
Death is coming.
Dominic was in charge of the body, which would be left somewhere public. What was the point in leaving a message if no one saw it?
Greyson kept pace as I headed to the connected wet room, stripping off my clothes and placing them in a bag for incineration. “Someone in the family is keeping secrets.”
He leaned up against the wall, watching me even as his mind was whirling. “Seems like it.”
I mulled it over as I washed the blood from my hair and skin.
Who had a reason to take me out? Who wanted me gone and was willing to undermine my authority to do it? Who wasn’t happy with their position in the family?
Joaquin.
“Do you think the other uncles are in on it, or is he working alone?”
Grey’s eyes were soft with a touch of pity I hated. “They’ve never worked separately before.”
True. My capos were a unit and always had been.
“So, they all hid the tips coming in about Cash. Are we assuming they’re working together?”
The idea of a Marcosa working with a Beckstrom was insane, but there were too many signs I couldn’t ignore anymore.
How had so many of my people turned? How had Cash figured out the right buttons to push to keep them under his thumb? How had they hidden under my nose for so many years, not to mention my brother’s and my father’s before me?
They had help. They had an insider.
I had a rat.
Anotherone.
“Motherfuck.” I rinsed myself off, stepping to the other side of the room where a small wardrobe sat behind a waterproof door. The old servants’ quarters were small, barely big enough for me to lie down in if I wanted to, but they suited our purpose fine. Slipping a change of clothes on to the sound of Grey power-washing the wet room, I sighed.
Everywhere I looked, Cash had a handhold. He’d build an empire underneath mine, ready to shake the earth and topple us at any moment.
Was it even worth fighting for? Seattle was my legacy, my birthright, but at what cost? Could I keep us safe without endangering us more? Was it worth the fight?
It had to be.
Cash had taken my brother from me, my cousin. Nate. Even if I wanted to leave, I couldn’t. Vengeance was mine, and a blood debt was owed.
Cash was going to die. There was no other way.
Knowing Grey would help Dominic when he was finished, I slipped out of the room and into the hallway, fully intending to leave the house, when a noise somewhere above startled me.
I had my gun in hand in seconds, my breathing slowing as I tried to figure out who the fuck was in my house.
The lights were off in the hallway, and even though I wanted to text the boys a warning, I didn’t want to risk my vision in the dark. Not to mention, giving away my location.
Creeping slowly through the halls of the home I’d grown up in, I tried to keep myself level.
It’s probably just one of the men coming to check on things.
But that didn’t feel right, especially the farther I went. When I crested the stairs to see light spilling out from the library, I nearly swore. I didn’t want to go in there. Didn’t want to see the destruction I’d caused. I wasn’t sure I could handle it yet. I might’ve been more grounded after last night, but that didn’t mean I wanted to face my actions when I was still cracked and broken.
But I had to. I wouldn’t let my weaknesses hurt my family again.
Gun at the ready, I pressed the door open slowly, ignoring the pristine floors in favor of the woman curled up in the reading chair. My sigh of relief was loud enough to snap Shara’s eyes to mine.
“You’re here?”
“I am,” I said awkwardly, looking around. The library looked the same as it had before I’d come for the journals. Every book in place, everything put together. Not a single splinter on the floor. It was as if my tantrum never had happened.
Shara crooked an eyebrow, smirking as she took in the room too. “Dominic had it fixed last night. Said you took a sledgehammer to everything. You okay?”
“I didn’t take a sledgehammer,” I mumbled, shuffling over to drop onto the couch next to her chair. “I just…lost it.”
If I was waiting for her to scream at me for destroying her beloved’s favorite place or make fun of me for my lack of control, I’d be waiting for a long time.
Shara nodded, tossing a head of short curls out of the way. She must’ve gotten her braids taken out recently.
“What were you looking for?”
When I jerked, she gave me a come on look. “You don’t come in here. Ever. Hell, I don’t even come here often. This place is practically a tomb, a memorial to Antoni. It’s fine,” she said, waving me away when I tried to disagree. “It’s good for us to have a place, but we both know you weren’t in here for some light reading. What did you want?”
“The journals.”
“And the destruction was because you didn’t find them.” She stared into the fireplace, which was empty and cold, lost in her own thoughts. “Who do you think has them?”
“Nate.”
Shara hummed, not agreeing but not disagreeing either. “Maybe. Were they all gone?”
“Every single one.”
“Not every one.” Digging in her purse, she pulled out a black hardbound book.
A journal.
“How?”
“I thought it was Antoni’s, but it’s not. As soon as I realized that, I stopped reading, but it didn’t feel safe to leave it at my place.”
“How long have you been carrying it?”
“A while.” She shrugged, but she looked embarrassed. “I didn’t know how to explain that I’d been reading things I shouldn’t have, and then when shit went south with Cash and Nate, I just?—”
Worried. She was worried that I was going to go off the deep end and kill her, brand her a traitor, kick her out. Fuck, I was doing this all wrong. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be,” she said fiercely. “The people you’ve trusted have been lying to you, deceiving you. You’re allowed to be jumpy.”
“You didn’t bring it to me because you were scared how I’d react. That’s not okay.”
“It’s also not your problem. My feelings aren’t yours to fix, Mari. But we’re here now. I’m just sorry it took so long.”
“Me too, and I’m sorry about the library.”
She gazed around the room, remembered love softening her expression. “Don’t be. I think it’s time we both moved on. Holding his memory here does nothing but keep us rooted in our grief. It’s time, Mari.”
Maybe it was. I could have my vengeance without falling victim to my grief. I could rid my city of Cash with a level head.
I could survive this.
I just had to find the right path forward.