Fighting For Light: A Dark Sports Romance (The Coldwell Brothers)

19. Cordelia

We’re on our way to Miami. Luckily, we won’t be in the car for long. I wanted to talk to Dad last night, but he wasn’t happy about how the guys placed. It probably wasn’t a good time. Or you’re just using that as an excuse because you’re being a chicken-shit. No, I’m not. Yes, I am. I guess this is pregnancy brain.

We’re quiet for most of the car ride. I’m able to get some work done and take a nap by the time we get there. Luckily, I’m on schedule for my other clients, so I can take a few days to breathe. Maybe even hang out at the beach.

Kai’s phone rings. Instead of answering it over Bluetooth, he lifts it to his ear, and I find that odd. “Hey, Mom,” he says. I glance at him and continue scrolling through my social media. “No, I haven’t either.” He listens for a moment and glances at me. “Yeah. Oh, that’s nice. Thank you, Mom. Yeah, okay, at eight?” he asks. “Alright. I’ll see you then.” He hangs up the phone and puts it in the cup holder between us.

“Mom wants to go to dinner with us when she lands in Miami. Is that okay with you?” My stomach twists. It’s not like I don’t know Esmarie. She’s a wonderful woman. But I was only ever Kai’s friend.

I cough, clear my throat, and reach for my water. “Yeah, that’s fine.”

He chuckles. “Are you nervous?”

“No…” I say, drawing the word out.

“Yeah, okay.” He laughs and grabs my hand, holding it in his. “You already know her, gem. You don’t need to be nervous.”

“But it’s different this time,” I mutter.

His hand twitches over mine. “That doesn’t make it bad,” he says.

“Does she know?”

“Yeah, she does,” he says.

I whip my head at him. “Wait, she knows everything?” I almost screech. That is not how I want to present myself to one of the sweetest and regal women I know. She always carries herself like a queen, but I’ve never felt like she thought less of me. She’s someone I’ve looked up to, and now I’m marrying her son. Will her opinion of me change?

“No, she doesn’t know everything, but I want to tell her. We don’t keep secrets in my family, gem, and now that you are becoming a part of it, that means being honest from the beginning. We need to tell her you’re pregnant.”

“But it’s not actually your kid. I find it hard to believe Esmarie is going to be okay with that.”

“Maybe the bigger question is if you want her to know it’s not my kid,“ he says.

“I think that conversation needs to be had with Dad first,” I mutter.

“Fair enough, but I am serious about secrets, gem. I won’t hide any from her. It doesn’t matter if that kid is my blood or not.” He pauses, his jaw ticking like he’s trying to find the right words. “Blood doesn’t matter to her, not like that, okay?”

“Okay,” I tell him, my voice watery.

His hand comes to my cheek, and his thumb brushes a tear away from my face while he’s still watching the road. “I’m sorry, baby. I didn’t mean to make you cry.”

I rest my cheek against his palm. “No, no, it’s fine. I’m just really emotional, you know…”

His hand drops, and he puts it on the steering wheel. “She’s happy about us, though,” he says.

“Okay, I believe you. We’re going tonight?” I ask him.

“Yeah. Sorry, our date plans might have to change,” he says and glances over at me again.

“We’ve done everything backward anyway, so I guess this makes sense.” I sniff.

“You have nothing to worry about. I love you, and we’re happy. That’s all that matters to her.”

I nod and look out my window. I am happy with Kai, deliriously so. But it all feels too easy. Kai Coldwell, my daredevil, my best friend, the love of my life, came to the rescue. It can’t be that simple, but maybe it is. Maybe it can be.

***

We settled into the campground, and Kai got a workout in. He’s very restless. I always thought it was simply because he has a lot of energy, but now I’m putting together that it’s more than that. Something is agitating him because the workout is overly intense this time. It seems to be the only thing keeping him balanced. There is one other thing that could help, though, and it would help me, too. Every time I think he’s finally going to take us to that level, even after me blatantly telling him that I want him, he still won’t give in.

I did an everything shower, top to bottom. I shaved, did my hair and makeup, and I even painted my nails. I don’t know if I did it to impress Esmarie or for me, but I feel ready now.

I’m four months pregnant and starting to show. I decided on a loose-fitting dress that shows off my cleavage but doesn’t form to my body. My high-heeled sandals didn’t fit my swollen feet, but my cowboy boots did, and they looked good with my dress. It’s not too dressy or too casual. I hear the door close as I reach for my necklace.

“Wow,” Kai says. I meet his eyes in the mirror, trying to find the clasp on my necklace. “Here, let me.” His hands come to my neck, and I fight the shiver rolling down my spine.

“Thank you.” I watch him focus on my neck and hook the tiny clasp. Once he’s done, he drops his hands on my shoulders and looks at me through the mirror.

“You look beautiful,” he rasps.

“Thank you,” I say shyly.

He leans forward, nuzzling his nose in my neck as his hands come around my hips. I watch him, waiting for him to notice I’ve popped, as they say. He draws his hands over my front to my stomach and freezes. His wide, coffee-brown eyes meet my blue ones in awe. His fingers sprawl over me, feeling my little bump, and he inhales sharply. For someone so fearless, he looks…nervous.

“You’re showing now,” he whispers as if it’s still a secret that I’m pregnant.

“Yep,” I mumble.

He grabs the dress a little tighter to see the bump through my clothes. “It’s so little,” he says.

I chuckle and slide my hands over his. “It won’t be long until I’m all belly,” I grumble. I’ve been going back and forth between being excited about what’s happening and struggling with the changes happening to my body. I understand it’s good, and there is a reason for all of this. But when Kai looks at me like I’m the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen, I don’t feel so bad about it.

“You’ve had a glow to you lately, you know that?”

I shrug and lean back into him. “It’s probably because I’ve been sleeping for ten hours every day for the past few days.”

He rubs my stomach again, so gently, almost like he’s in awe. “You need it,” he says softly.

“Do you think your mom will still like me?” I ask.

He grins and slips his fingers through mine. “Yes, gem, she loves you already, okay?” I shift nervously on my feet.

“Yeah, okay,” I mumble. He lets go, and I wish he was still wrapped around me. He makes me feel like everything will be okay, like I can be a great mom. I don’t want to be anything like my mother. She failed me in so many ways. I realize she did her best, but she took me from Dad, always spouting off about how he wouldn’t give things up for her. She sure spent his money, though. Regardless, I learned lessons from her. I learned what not to do.