Fighting For Light: A Dark Sports Romance (The Coldwell Brothers)

24. Kai

After we get checked into the penthouse, I text Mom to let her know the plan.

“This is beautiful, Kai,” Cordelia says, looking around the ample space. The living room could easily fit fifty people, and there are two bedrooms off to the side, each with its own bathroom. I thought she would enjoy a large bathtub to soak in. “Why did you get us a penthouse? We don’t need all of this,” she says.

I chuckle as she draws her finger over the glossy wood of one of the side tables. She looks at me over her shoulder, and my eyes trail down her figure over her small bump. My heart pulls, and every limb feels heavy with the need to hold her close, to protect.

“Why are you still standing in the doorway? Come here,” she beckons.

I grab our bags and toss them in the first room I see, then walk up to her, sliding my hands around her hips. She lifts her arms and wraps them around my neck while I tuck my nose into her honey-smelling hair, inhaling deeply.

“I need you to promise me something,” I tell her. She hums, waiting for me to continue. I lift her hand with her ring, and it glints off the light. “You may think of me differently, and I won’t blame you. You don’t have to stay, and I’ll help you regardless, but you need to know this before we tie the knot. I love you, I always have. But I need to tell you everything.”

“This sounds like I need a drink,” she grumbles. “But water will have to do.”

I let her go and grab her a bottle from the minibar. She sinks down into one of the couches, and I hand over the water before sitting across from her. Being within distance to touch her will make this harder.

“Well, daredevil, get on with it,” she says, meeting my eyes.

I take a deep breath and start from the beginning. “Rumors say that my father is into some things, and they’re true. My father is not a good man. I’ll spare you the details because there are some things you don’t want to know and I don’t want to relive them. He beat all of us. Emerson and Mom took the brunt of it simply because they were there first. Liam and I came after the fact. He made sure no one ever saw the bruises. If he couldn’t control himself, then he told us to tell anyone who asked that we got in fights with our brothers. My mom had to wait and endure it all for us until she could get her family fortune back and get us out.”

“How long did it take?” she asked quietly.

I swallow thickly. “It took her eighteen years to get out. Mom comes from a prevalent family, the Astors. That’s how Dad got his money to start his political career. He wanted to be a man of the people. Mom told us when he got power, he only wanted more. Over time, Mom slowly moved accounts to her name and ours…to be extra cautious. She had to move money little by little, enough to take care of us to get away, but not too quickly, or he would notice. She had to pay off the accountant to stay quiet and hide everything.”

“I’m surprised your grandpa didn’t come after him for hurting you all,” she murmured.

I rub my chin. “He died of a heart attack, and it was all left to her. After Fred got into the higher political offices, he used his status to get around the prenup my grandfather set up. If he did know, though, our grandfather would have killed and buried him where no one would find him. Unfortunately, Mom recognized she was stuck with my father because he took everything. So that’s why she created the plan to get us out.”

“How did she do that?”

I blow out a breath. “She knew she would never be able to divorce him; someone would find out, and it would cause more questions. So, she never presented the papers. She got us a tutor and trainers. Her intention was for us to live under the radar, but it was lonely for us. So she told us to pick a sport so we could meet kids our age, and she would make it happen. She knew there was a risk of putting us out there like that, but she played into my father’s ego, and he spun it to the public in his favor as if he contributed to the men we were becoming. It was all bullshit, obviously. Regardless, we all ended up being good at it and went professional. Mom encouraged us to take the opportunity. She figured it would keep our dad away because it would continue to make the Coldwell name look good, and it has, for the most part.”

“And here you are, one of the best in the nation.”

I flash her a smile and continue. “It kind of just happened that way. None of us intended to make it a career. I give Mom a lot of credit, though. She risked everything for us.”

“What do you mean by trainers? I thought she got you coaches.”

“Yeah, you’re right. They weren’t typical coaches. They were retired navy seals, MI5, and well, they didn’t tell us where else they came from. Mom’s intention was to teach us how to protect ourselves.”

“That sounds like overkill for self-defense classes,” she mutters, taking a drink. She winces a little with her hand on her stomach, and I jump to my feet.

“Are you okay?”

She smiles softly and nods with her eyes closed. “I’m fine. It’s just a muscle cramp. The baby is starting to move, and it’s an odd feeling.”

“Oh,” I say because I can’t think of anything else.

She huffs a laugh. “I figured you did your research by now,” she teases.

I lift a shoulder. “I did, but that doesn’t mean it’s all correct.”

“What else happened?” She shifts again, making herself comfortable while I grab a few pillows to help prop her up.

“Is that good?”

She nods, and I sit back down, watching her like a hawk. “It wasn’t for your typical self-defense, it was…uh…psychological, physical, strategic. It was to prepare us for every possibility. My father made a lot of enemies as he rose in power, hand in hand with the Costa mob. Mom made it so when they come for us, we’ll be more than ready.”

“Why do you say when?” Cordelia asks.

“Because it’s only a matter of time. When they do.”

Cordelia’s eyes widen, and her hand goes back to her stomach. “Why would they? You guys have nothing to do with any of it.”

“No, but they don’t care. We are loose ends to them. It’s that simple. Mom told us the relationship was supposed to be brief. The goal was to paint him as a hero for getting drugs off the streets, lowering crime rates, and assisting in human trafficking busts. It got him reelected many times because of it. But the Costa mob became the police instead of the actual police, and he kept digging in, hungry for more power. He worked with them until he got so far he couldn’t get out. Once you’re in, the only way out is death. He lost his funding, aka Mom, to supplement the reasons for his reelection, so we think he got a large loan from them, and that locked him in for life. We hoped he would dig his own grave, but somehow he’s still alive.”

“It’s not if it’s when they get tired of your father not handling his side of things, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, we’ve done our best to stay out of it, but they don’t care. They will come after us if Fred doesn’t hold up his end of the deals he made. They will use us to get to him, and it will work because he cares more about himself than us, of course. But the status quo has changed recently. They came after Mom and tossed the beach house, and my dad contacted her, but she won’t tell us what he said.”

Cordi gasps. “Wow, I would have never guessed. Is she okay? I can’t imagine…”

“Yeah, she’s fine. She’s tougher than she looks.”

Cordi tilts her head to the side. “Yeah, I’d say so. Especially with what you all have been through.”

“We know who sent the man who came after Mom. We handled it, but—“

“It’s not over,” she concludes.

I shake my head, and she swallows. I wait, letting the information overload sink in. It’s a lot to take, and I’m nervous about how she’s going to respond to it. I don’t want her to leave me, but I wouldn’t blame her if she did. Her lips purse, and she takes another drink of water.

“This is a lot, Kai,” she says.

“I know, I’m sorry. I wanted you to have the full picture.”

“Thank you for telling me,” she rasps. “What does this mean for us and my baby?”

“It means, gem, that I will protect you both. No one will touch either of you. And that’s regardless of whether you marry me.”

“Do you still want me to marry you?” she asks hesitantly.

I chuckle and move to sit next to her, taking her left hand in mine and putting my other on top of her hand resting on her stomach. “I want to make you my wife like the sun has to rise above the horizon every morning. It’s not a want anymore, it’s a need. I want you forever, Cordi, and I will do whatever it takes to keep you both safe.”

“But you said—how can you keep us safe if you don’t know where the threat is coming from?”

“I know what I said, babe. I don’t know what my father is willing to do anymore. But I will protect you, I promise.”

“Is this happening too fast, Kai? Should we…should I think about this? I don’t…my mom and dad...” Her eyes well and she takes a stuttered breath. “Kai, does this put all of them in danger?”

“No, it doesn’t,” I tell her sternly. At least, I don’t think so. “One has nothing to do with the other. Your mom has a different last name, and you just visited her after years. If anyone is watching, if they made the connection, I doubt they would move on it. It wouldn’t make any sense. And your dad is always around here. But if it makes you feel better, we will get someone to put eyes on both of them.”

She puffs out her cheeks. “You’re right. Mom should be fine, and I don’t want to make anything worse than it already is. I don’t want to scare her.”

“Whatever you want,” I say thickly. Reece can handle himself. She rubs her nose and sniffles a little. My throat goes tight, and my heart feels like it’s being squeezed in someone’s fist. I just want what’s best for her and this kid, even if that’s without me. I get down on my knees in front of her and put both of my hands on her stomach, leaning in to press my lips to her belly. I lift away and look up at her. “I think the bigger question, gem, is if you still want to marry me. Especially after all of this.”

Her breath stutters, and she takes her hand, cupping my cheek.

“Rafe will never be what you need,” I whisper.

She scoffs. “That was never a question.”

“I should kill him for what he said to you.”

The corner of her mouth tips up, and she rubs her thumb across my cheekbone.

“I want to take care of you. I realize this got messy really quick, and you just walked into this, but I love you, and there will never be another for me. Regardless, I will respect your decision.”

Cordi giggles. I smile up at her and her giggles turn into a chorus of laughter so loud it almost echoes in the large penthouse.

“I’ve been looking for my opportunity with you for years, Kai. If I knew all I had to do was get pregnant, I would have done it a long time ago.” I frown at that and she giggles again. “I’m joking, Kai, it’s a joke,” she says, laughing.

I stay kneeling, smiling at her joy. I love her so much it physically hurts. Once she catches her breath, she leans over and grasps my face between her hands. “I’m glad you did what you did. I know I could have done it on my own, but I was terrified. Now I don’t have to be anymore.” She presses her lips to mine. “I’m not going lie to you. This all makes me really nervous. I don’t like the risks, but I love you, and when you love someone, you love every part of them. The good and the bad. And if loving you means a little danger…” She grins and kisses me again. “Well, that’s nothing new. I trust that you will keep us safe.”

I tilt my chin up to kiss her this time. “I will, mi amor. That is a promise. Until my dying breath, Cordelia, I will keep you both safe.”

“Let’s not speed that up, okay, daredevil?”

“Now, I don’t know if I can do that.” I smile. She shakes her head and yawns. I get to my feet and pull her to her own. “I think it’s time for bed.”

“I actually want to take a bath. That’s a luxury, you know.”

“I’ll get the water going, you relax,” I tell her, and walk her to our room.

The fancy hotel has bath salts and good-smelling things by the tub. I run the warm water and pour in the bath salts, the dried flowers hydrating and lifting to the surface.

Once the tub is full, I get Cordi. She’s lying on her side with her hand rubbing her stomach. “Bath is ready.” She smiles sleepily and gets up slowly. I follow her into the bathroom and grab her a towel. “Do you want anything else?” I ask her.

She shakes her head and gathers the hem of her dress. I quickly turn to leave the bathroom. “Kai?”

Keeping my back to her, I answer, “Yeah?”

“Will you help me?” she asks.

“With what?”

“For being so smart, you can be so, so dumb, babe,” she says with a lilt in her voice.

I turn, and she’s still holding the hem of her dress. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“That means I want you to stop running from me the moment I ask more of you,” she says, lifting the dress the rest of the way off her body, leaving her in her underwear and bra. She doesn’t waste a second and takes off her undergarments, tossing them to the side. I stand there frozen to the floor, not sure what I should do, but I can’t look away. She lifts her foot to step into the water, and that wakes me up enough to take the two steps to help her lower herself into the tub.

Cordelia moans and leans her head up against the tub. “Oh look, you stayed.”

“Smartass.”

“Dumbass,” she volleys back.

Need rises hot and fast through my body as I look at her shoulders and the tops of her breasts because that’s all I can see in the milky water. Her cheeks turn pink, and she sinks a little lower. “This isn’t how I used to be,” she says quietly.

“What?” I ask her, not sure what she means.

“Pregnancy changes your body and…I didn’t use to look like this.”

I blink a few times, processing her words slowly. “You’re beautiful, Cordelia,” I tell her and leave it at that. She’s quiet, playing with the flowers floating in the water. I rise to leave her in peace, and her wet hand grabs mine before I can take a step.

“Thank you,” she says.

“No problem,” I say, and she purses her lips like she wants to say something, but she doesn’t know how. “Just say it, gem.”

“I don’t know how to ask…” her words trail off. A slimy feeling rolls through my gut. I figured she would have asked the harder questions after I gave her the abbreviated version of my early life, but she didn’t. She accepted me as is and said I love you, and that means everything to me.

I give her a look, and she pouts her lips. “Please sit,” she says.

I relent and sit down next to the tub. She doesn’t let go of my hand as she leans to the side and looks me in the eye. “Have you killed people?” she asks. I wince because it feels like a punch to the gut.

“I’m not proud of the things I’ve done, that I’ve had to do to keep my family safe.”

“Is that a yes?” she asks. I run my other hand through my short hair several times and look her in the eye.

“Yes,” I tell her sternly. I don’t want to scare her, but she probably should be, not because of something I could do but because of the man I have to become to do those things. She has only seen pieces of that side of me, the one that I keep locked away until he needs to be in control. I sound insane.

“I’m sure you had your reasons,” she says quietly, still holding onto my hand. I want to respond, but that is a discussion for another time. I stand and walk out of the bathroom, needing to breathe fresher air to make the sourness of guilt sink back down to my stomach.

There is a balcony off to the side overlooking the dark ocean and the bright lights of Miami below. The warm breeze fills my nose, and the smell of the ocean seeps into my lungs, calming me. I don’t want to do these things, none of us do, but when someone is born into a war, they had no hand in starting; they have to prepare to finish it. That’s what we decided long ago, knowing our father was never going to gain enough power. He was either going to get us killed because he made the wrong enemy or because we no longer were useful to him. Loose ends must be severed. I’ve asked myself that question for the better part of my life. Would my father kill his family if we no longer suit his interests?

I’ve rolled it around in my head over and over again. My answer is almost always yes.