Fighting For Light: A Dark Sports Romance (The Coldwell Brothers)

33. Cordelia

It’s not like I haven’t seen Kai ride and jump thousands of times in practice or in competition, but now? Seeing my husband leap into the air with his machine is shocking. I’ve never known fear like I have at this moment, and it caught me off guard. It’s not like I just started loving him, so my feelings about him floating in the air with the potential to snap his neck haven’t changed, but…they have. I blink, unable to lift my camera to take pictures of his practice round.

This is a freestyle stop, but the stakes are higher, the jumps bigger, and the need to place with top scores is even more important. The team lost points overall in Dallas. The new team member is good, but we need infallible to get to where we were or better.

I take a deep breath and force my body to do its job, even though my brain makes me want to collapse out of fear. Or maybe pace back and forth, attempting not to puke. My hands and muscle memory take over. I’m not even sure they are good pictures.

He takes another jump and completes his practice round. I sigh and finish taking pictures of the other guys. Wandering into the team area, I find Kai leaning against his bike, typing away on his phone with his riding pants and shirt half-tucked. The picture of nonchalance. But now that I am well versed in his body and the secrets he keeps, he’s aware of every bit of his surroundings. He’s like a wolf, studying his prey and patiently waiting for its move.

That’s why I know when I take a step towards him, he will drop his phone and lift his eyes to watch me. I lift my foot, and sure enough, those dark depths meet mine. A shiver runs down my spine, and my hand flies to my belly. I swear the baby did a backflip in there. His eyes dip down to mine, and his brow lifts in question. I smile softly and close the distance between us.

“Hey, Mama, everything okay?” he asks, resting his large, warm hand on my belly. I lean into him, and his other hand comes to my hip. He kisses me a few times, and I hum. The baby flips again, making me gasp. “I felt that one,” he murmurs in my ear.

“I told you he does that every time he knows you’re close.”

He stills for a moment. “Every time?“ he asks nervously.

I giggle and shake my head. “Nooo, not then,“ I tell him.

He presses his lips on my cheek. “Thank God. I can’t start corrupting my kid before he’s even born.”

I gasp and lean back to look at him. He averts his eyes and clears his throat. I open my mouth to tell him it’s true; this kid is his as much as he is mine, but Kai slams his lips on mine before I have the chance, leaving me breathless.

“Don’t forget we have that Lamaze class this evening,” he says.

“Oh, thank you. I did forget.”

He shrugs and kneads his thumbs on my lower back, making me groan. It’s been bothering me lately, and I can’t exactly lie on my back or stomach anymore. Everything in my body has felt out of sorts lately.

“Ready for tonight?” I ask him. He kisses my cheek and hugs me close. “This part is new,” I mutter into his neck.

“What do you mean?” he asks.

“I like this pregame ritual.”

He hums, rubbing his nose up the length of my neck. “I do, too, though I wonder if it’s a little too distracting,” he says. I smile, and his hand drops down, squeezing my butt that also feels like it grew an extra size.

He glances over my shoulder, and his hold on my backside loosens. I turn to find the rest of the team and my father walking toward us. I step back and give him space, trying to put my mind back into work mode instead of wondering where the best place to have a quickie would be.

Dad steps up as the guys gather. He gives them a pep talk, then smiles at me before walking away. He probably isn’t mad anymore, but I don’t know that he’s completely forgiven me yet. I hurt him, and it’s going to take some time for us to move past it. I’m hoping the moment he sees his grandson, that will all change.

I return to my post out by the pit with ramps and large hills formed out of dirt and focus on deep breaths to ignore the fear that flooded back into me the moment Kai stopped touching me.

The lights go dark, and the introductions start. The announcers call for our team, and the arena roars as they announce each rider. The lights come back on, and a moment later, Kai is called. He’s at one end of the larger ramp that curves almost straight up into the stadium ceiling. His helmeted head turns, and I know he’s staring. He sits there for a second, and the breath in my lungs freezes as time slows. Then he yanks the throttle and takes off.

He speeds up the hill, leaps into the air doing a heel-clicker, then lands perfectly. Afterward, he rounds the corner and takes off up a quarter pipe into a nine o’clock nac. Perfect. I’ve been watching him land these perfectly, but it’s amazing every single time I watch.

***

The RV door opens, and it makes me jump. My bleary eyes refocus on Kai walking up the steps. “Hey, why wasn’t the door locked?” he asks, locking it behind him. I glance at the door, realizing I was too focused on sending these photos to the sponsors.

“Oh, I guess I forgot,” I tell him.

He frowns and grabs a water bottle from the fridge. He takes a couple long pulls, then drops to a squat in front of me. “Please don’t forget again,” he says quietly, but I can see the intensity in his eyes. The edge of fear in them.

“I won’t, I’m sorry,” I tell him.

His eyebrows are scrunched together as he reaches for my lips and traces them with his thumb. He drags down my lower one, letting it pop, and heat floods through my veins. “We have that class,” he mutters, staring at my lips. I lean in, angling for his mouth. He drops his hand and kisses me deeply, almost as if he’s scared this isn’t real. “I’m going to go shower,” he says, standing.

“I wish I could join you.”

He grins and pulls his shirt off at the neck. His skin is still sticky with sweat, and my mouth waters. “Let’s try it. It will definitely be a little tight, but I’ll wash your back if you wash mine.” He winks and runs his fingers through his sweaty hair, slicking it back.

My feet move before my pregnancy-riddled brain can catch up. He chuckles, and I follow him into our bedroom. He flicks the ratchet closure, releasing the tightened elastic around his waist. I pull my t-shirt off over my head and flip the button to my jeans. I don’t have many that fit anymore and need to find new ones. He grins and dips down to kiss me. I drop my arms around his shoulders as he holds me close.

“We don’t have a ton of time, so this is going to have to move a little quicker.”

“That sounds like a you problem,” I say into his ear and nip it. I push the waist of his pants down as he flips the hooks of my bra. It drops to the floor, and he removes his pants completely before grabbing the waistband of my underwear, sliding them down my body. Goosebumps erupt over my skin as he drags his tongue from my thigh to my hip, then taking my breast into his mouth.

“Challenge accepted, wife.“ His hand slips between my legs, and he walks me backward into the little bathroom, a man of many talents. He flips the water on and drags me into the small shower with him. We both barely fit. With my stomach in the way, it’s nice and snug. The shock of cold water makes me gasp, even though Kai is shielding me from most of it.

I get as close as I can to him. He drags his hands to my chest and gently pushes me up against the wall so the warm water splashes over us. He kisses around my neck and jaw until he reaches my lips. Normally, I would make him work for it, but I want him to own me in this moment. I want him to take me however he wants. He lifts my leg, and I lock it around his waist as he thrusts into me, groaning.

“Damn, baby,” he groans.

“It doesn’t take much these days,” I moan, and my knees go weak.

“I love you, gem.” He hits that spot just right, and I throw my head back in ecstasy, barely able to form a coherent sentence.

“More,” I moan.

He grunts, sending a jolt of electricity through me with every thrust of his hips. “That’s it, mamá, esa mi chica.” That’s my girl.

I dig my nails into his neck, holding onto him. My body tenses, and he moans long and low. The way he handles me rips a sob from my lips, and I push up, meeting his hips as he gently moves against me.

“Gem, let me hear it. Let me hear the way I make you feel. Let me savor that beautiful sound that only I can rip from your mouth. Come on,” he grunts into my ear. He squeezes my butt and hits that spot that only he can reach. A strangled noise erupts from me, and I clench my muscles. He groans, letting go while we both breathe deeply as the water starts to go cold.

“I love you, too,” I gasp.

He chuckles and tucks his nose under my jaw, slowly dropping my leg down to the floor. He holds me for a moment, then spins me around so the water splashes onto my face. “Now, I know we don’t have much time.”

“I think we made it work. That was a gold star performance, especially with the space constrictions.”

He laughs and grabs my shampoo, massaging it into my hair. “If I had more time, I would have scheduled an encore, but we need to prep ourselves for this baby.”

I smile at him from under my eyes, then lean back, rinsing the soap out of my hair. I grab my conditioner and massage it in while he washes his own. Reaching for the body wash, he grabs it out of my hand and squeezes some into his palm, rubbing them together.

“I have a loofa, Kai,” I say, staring at his hands.

“Yeah, baby, and you have these hands, too,” he says, rubbing them over every inch of my body.

“Kai,” I inhale sharply. “You forget my entire body is like a live wire, and this…” His hands drag over my breasts, around my stomach, and to my inner thighs.

“I can’t get enough of you,” he says, moving his hands over my skin.

“This is going to set me off again,” I say, tilting my head back.

“You don’t think I already know that, gem?”

“You’re naughty, daredevil,” I moan. Then his hands disappear. I open my eyes and look up at him.

“Or I just love learning exactly what my woman wants.” Then he brushes his mouth across mine. Before I can get into it, he pulls away and washes his body quickly.

I frown. “It was my turn,” I whine.

He grins and kisses my cheek as he rinses off. “Later.” He shuts off the cold water and steps out, wrapping a towel around himself before holding one out for me. It barely covers my boobs these days because they have swelled up like balloons, but Kai doesn’t seem to mind.

I glance at my phone and we have five minutes to get logged on. We get dressed and get everything barely set up in time.

The woman teaches breathing patterns and relaxation techniques. She also shows us partner-assisted stretching to help with the pelvic floor. “I don’t think this is doing what she intended for aid in stretching,” I mutter, with Kai on his knees behind me, holding my hips steady in the cat-cow stretch.

He pushes his hips gently against my butt, and I look over my shoulder at him as fire lights my veins. Then there’s a knock at the door. It swings open, and Dad climbs the two stairs.

“Whoa, I can…come back,” Dad says, clearing his throat and averting his eyes as he takes his feet backward down the steps.

“Dad! Wait!” I yell. “I thought you locked the door, Kai,” I grit out, looking at Kai.

“I did, but then I had to get your yoga mat out of storage.”

I groan. “Help me up,” I command. He gets up and takes my hands, helping me to my feet. “Dad, it’s fine. We were just —“

“Nope, nope, I don’t need to know what you were doing. I don’t need details. I don’t want to know any of it.”

“It’s birthing classes, Dad. That’s all that was happening.” He drops his hand and looks at me.

“Oh, that makes sense. How did it go?”

I shrug, and Kai throws his arm over my shoulder. “I’d say it went well,” he says smugly. I toss Kai a ‘I will kill you if you don’t shut up right now’ look. He grins and goes over to the fridge.

“Are you feeling okay, sweetheart?” Dad asks.

I nod, rubbing my stomach. “Yeah, we went to the doctor the other day. Everything is good.” I glance at Kai, and he nods in approval. “It’s a boy, Dad.”

Dad’s eyes widen and a slow smile grows on his face. “That’s wonderful, honey,” he says, smiling and looking at Kai. “I have a feeling you are going to have your hands full, seeing as his grandpa and his father are dirt bike-riding, thrill-seeking, crazy men.”

I roll my eyes, and Kai shrugs as if to say he’s not wrong.

“Do you have a second, Cordi? I want to talk to you about something.”

“Yeah, sure.” I’m thoroughly exhausted, but if this is the first step of getting back into Dad’s good graces, then I’ll stay up all night if I have to.

“I’ll be in our room if you need me, babe,” Kai says and leaves for our room, sliding the little door closed, giving us privacy.

I sit next to Dad on the couch, and he rubs his chin like he does when he’s trying to find the right words. He did it right before he told me Mom and he were separating. My heart picks up its pace, and I suddenly wish my best friend was next to me for moral support.

“I’m sorry, Cordi. I’m sorry I reacted the way I did. It was the last thing you needed, and I wasn’t being a good father to you. I hope you can forgive me.”

My heart slows, and I grab his hand. “Dad, there is nothing to forgive. Everything is good now.”

He squeezes my hand. “I love you, baby girl, and I’m so proud of you.” He pulls me into a hug, and I squeeze him as tightly as I can.

“I love you, too, Dad.”

He lets me go and stands. Dad has never been very good with emotions, while Mom just used them as weapons against both of us.

“Alright, I’ll leave you to it. We’re headed off to Texas in the morning.”

I nod. “Goodnight, Dad.”

He waves, and I close the door, flipping the lock. The bedroom accordion door slides open, and Kai peeks his head around it. “Everything okay?” he asks.

I look through the window, watching Dad walk to his trailer. “Yeah, everything is good,” I tell him.

“Are you ready for bed?”

I nod, flipping off the main light, and climb the stairs. I brush my teeth and change into my pajamas. When we stopped at the grocery before we got here, I grabbed one of the ugliest grandma muumuus I’ve ever seen, but it looked so comfortable, so I got it. Also, it’s much easier to wear than pants and a shirt. Plus, it gives me plenty of room to grow too.

Kai growls as I round to my side of the bed. “I’m loving the sexy grandma dress, baby. Makes me wonder what’s under it.”

I smile, shaking my head. “You know, plenty of women wore these every night, kept having babies, and stayed very happy,“ I say, getting under the covers. He scoots up behind me and sneaks his hand under my dress.

“Is that all it takes? I’m happy to oblige.”

“You have no idea what this is like,” I grumble right as a weird strain goes through my calf.

“You’re right, I don’t, but I do like seeing my woman pregnant. She’s just as stunning, if not more so,” he says, kissing my cheek as his hand rubs up and down my thigh.

I laugh and shake my head, trying to get comfortable. “You like the process.”

“I like helping you get ready to give birth and get you what you need and seeing you glow, too.”

I turn to my other side so I can look him in the eye. “That means…” I can’t finish the sentence. The thought of something happening to Kai still makes my bones shake. His smile drops, and he twirls a section of my hair around his finger.

“I protect what’s mine, gem.”

My nose burns, and I hide my head in his chest. “Let’s get through this one first,” I say into his skin.

His hand draws up and down my back in soothing circles. “You’ve got this, mama. There’s no doubt in my mind.”

I smile even though he can’t see it. This man has more confidence in me than I have in myself.