Fighting For Light: A Dark Sports Romance (The Coldwell Brothers)

38. Cordelia

We’re on our way to Kai’s freestyle comp, located a couple of hours south of his house. I’ve been ordering furniture and other cute, little decorative things for the house for the past few days.

“Are you still looking for furniture?” he asks.

“Maybe.” I shift in my seat, a little sore from last night, but I’m certainly not mad about it.

“Speaking of furniture, I was looking at rocking chairs for you.” He picks up his phone and hands it to me. He tells me his code, and I tap on his web browsing app. It’s not a website for purchasing baby furniture. It’s a website for furniture design.

“Wait, Kai. This is to build a rocking chair. Are you going to try to build me a rocking chair?”

“Well, yeah, I wanted to build you a crib, but I knew I wouldn’t have enough time to do both. So I picked a rocking chair if that’s okay with you.”

My heart does that fluttery thing when he makes an effort to do anything for me, even hand me the salt. In other words, my heart has felt like that since he carried me into his house. “I didn’t know you knew how to build anything.”

“We have lots more to learn about each other.”

“I’m surprised every day because you’re my best friend. I figured we knew almost everything there was to know.”

The GPS says we have about an hour to go and plenty of time to learn something new. “I’ll start then. I actually remodeled the kitchen and bathroom myself.”

My jaw drops. “No way,” I mutter. He chuckles and checks his mirrors before changing lanes.

“Lots of YouTube, and I may or may not have hired a contractor to teach me as I went.”

“That’s commitment,” I say, leaning against the armrest.

He turns and looks me in the eye for a moment that feels like hours but is only seconds, and says, “When I commit myself to something, gem, I’m all in.”

Breath whooshes from my lungs, and blood pulses through my body. “I really wish we weren’t going to a freestyle competition.”

He grins. “So tell me something you don’t think I know about you.”

I adjust the vents in the truck because I’m too overheated for comfort for multiple reasons. The further south we go, the warmer it gets. “Hmm, I have to think about that one.” Kai leans over and turns the AC all the way down, increasing the fan speed. “Thank you,” I mutter. He hums and waits for me to tell him something. “I really like puzzles.”

“Huh, interesting. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you do a puzzle.”

I shrug, looking out at the landscape and other cars on the road. “I don’t have much time to do them, and when you live in an RV full-time, there isn’t room for them.”

“Then, we should get some for the house,” he offers.

“I’d like that. You, next. Tell me something I don’t know about you because clearly, there is more than I thought there was.”

“Well, you know about my family. That was most of it. You know, basically everything else. But did you know that I like reading? I don’t do it much, no time for it, but I do it when I can.”

“What kind of books?” I ask.

He thinks for a moment, and his fingers drum on the steering wheel. “For a while, I was reading about families who helped build the country, so I guess that was more historical. Then I was reading about military strategy, but I guess that was more for…a purpose.”

“But do you read anything fun? Like fiction?” I stare at his profile with his strong jaw and clean-shaven face. It’s hard to have a beard when you’re constantly in a helmet; it gets irritating. His hair has grown out a little. It’s not as short on the sides, and it’s longer on top. I love running my fingers through it. My eyes go from his face, down his strong column of a neck, to his broad shoulders, cut arms, and to his hand on the steering wheel.

He clears his throat. “I can feel your eyes all over me,” he says in a gravelly tone.

I reach for his free hand and link my fingers with his. “You didn’t answer my question.”

His hand grips mine back. “Yes, I read fiction,” he says.

I tilt my head, looking at him a little longer, only because I know he can feel it. “What kind of fiction, daredevil?”

He shrugs. “You know. Action and adventure, thrillers…”

A smile grows on my face, and I get to my knees awkwardly, ignoring my seatbelt, and lean forward to his ear. “And?” I say, drawing the word out.

He visibly shudders, and satisfaction rolls through me. I will never get over the way he reacts to me.

“And maybe some of those books I’ve seen you reading before. Sit down,” he says quickly.

I listen and put my butt back in my seat. “You sound embarrassed, Kai.”

He clears his throat again and lets go of my hand to reach for his water. “I’m not embarrassed, babe.”

I giggle and rest my chin on my palm. “I think you were reading one of the cozy mysteries that usually have a cat in a teacup or piece of pie and a gun on the cover I’ve read. I don’t think you knew what you were getting into, but…I suspect you liked it.”

He rolls his lips over his teeth, and the corner of his mouth tips up. Then it hits me, and I gasp. “You actually liked the story, didn’t you?” I ask him like it’s major news.

“Maybe,” he grumbles.

“Oh, I think it’s a yes, especially because that face tells me everything I need to know.”

He smiles wider.

“I read the rest of the series,” he says.

I burst out in laughter and say, “It’s cute, you know…reading books you saw me reading.”

I watch his chest move up slowly with a deep inhale, and he glances at me. “It was one of the few ways I could be closer to you. I didn’t tell you because I didn’t know how to explain it.”

My heart thumps sadly, and my stomach sinks. “We wasted so much time,” I say, looking out the window. “We were such idiots for not…just going for it, you know?”

He reaches for my hand. “I was the idiot, but I did it to keep you safe. But you’re here anyway, so I guess I failed.”

“How do you think you failed me?” I ask him.

“I drug you into my messy and confusing life, exposing you and the baby to who the hell knows what.”

“Last time I checked, you can’t see into the future, Kai. But we do have right now. Tomorrow isn’t here yet,” I say, and he goes quiet for a moment. My eyes burn, but I force the tears away. I cry at anything lately, but he will want to console me instead of realizing we were inevitable. It doesn’t matter how hard he worked to keep me at a distance. It doesn’t matter if he was trying to keep me safe. It doesn’t matter that this started as a way for him to help his best friend. He is mine; he always has been. I guess it took getting pregnant for him to realize that. Yes, backward, but now we get to move forward. Together.

“I would take a bullet for you, gem. You know that, right?”

I nod, unable to stop the tears this time. He huffs and holds my hand.

“I feel like I say this too much, but I love you, Kai. I love you so much it kind of hurts,” I say, wishing I could climb into his lap and have him wrap me in his arms. His arms are the safest place I’ve ever been.

He groans and slows the truck down, pulling off to the shoulder and throwing it into park. He turns to face me fully. “Don’t ever, ever stop telling me how much you love me. It’s a reminder for me. I love my family, and I would die to protect them. You are my family now, and I would kill for you. Telling me you love me makes me feel like I’m not this evil devil’s spawn using his family as an excuse to get revenge on his father. He has made our lives hell from the moment my brothers and I were born. Your love reminds me that he doesn’t have that kind of power over me, not anymore. Because if someone like you can love a man like me, then it’s worth fighting for.”

I’m speechless. Before I can string a sentence together, he hauls my face to his and writes love on my heart with his kiss. He pulls away and kisses each cheek. “Okay?” he asks. I nod in his hold. “Don’t ever stop,” he says, almost as if he’s begging me.

I nod again because words are too hard.

“I love you, too, gem. So much that it makes me wonder how you’re mine every time I say it.”

I blink a few times, trying to gather myself. “We should probably get that amnesia checked out.”

His serious expression grows into a smile, and he laughs. “That’s my girl,” he says, dropping his hands and putting the truck back in drive as he pulls onto the highway again.

***

We get to the arena with plenty of time for Kai to do his routine and for me to finish some work. I even managed to take a nap with him. Though, we didn’t do a whole lot of sleeping. I stare at him shirtless with his unbuckled riding pants hanging low on his hips.

“You are killing me,” he groans.

I shrug and feign indifference. “Maybe you should put some clothes on.”

“Or maybe you should take some clothes off,“ he says, looking me up and down.

“I did tell you we could create a new pre-ride ritual. All you have to do is say the word.”

He grins and drinks some water while my eyes trail back down his figure. “I think that would actually be more distracting, wife.”

“I guess we’ll never know.” I sigh.

“You know, that’s something else I didn’t know about you…”

“What’s that?”

He steps up to me, sitting at our table in the RV, and drops to his knees. “You are way kinkier than I ever expected,” he breathes.

I lean over to his face and kiss him slowly. “I was never like this with anyone but you. You make me…I don’t know, you make me feel adventurous. You make me want to try all kinds of things.”

“I guess that makes two of us,” he says, pursing his lips to kiss me again, then stands and returns to his place, leaning against the kitchen counter.

“Are you good?” I ask him seriously.

He nods. “If you stand right where I can see you and don’t move, then I’ll be fine. Just stay close to your dad for me.”

I nod and grab my camera. We need to be out in the arena in twenty. He goes to grab his shirt when I look down at my tank top and jeans with sneakers and say, “Kai?”

“Yes, baby?”

I don’t know if it will fit now, but I want to try. “Can I wear one of your jerseys?”

He spins around and growls. “I thought you’d never ask.” He grabs one of his more colorful ones with his last name on the back, then stalks towards me, gathering the hem of my tank top. “Arms up,” he commands.

I do as he says, lifting my arms. He tosses my tank top to the floor and slips the jersey over each of my hands, then over my head. It’s lightweight and feels silky to the touch. Before pulling it over my eyes, he presses his lips to mine, then pulls it past my chest and stops at my belly. He drops to his knees again and leans his forehead against me. Dammit. My eyes well with tears, and he presses a long kiss on my belly before pulling the shirt fully over my stomach, then gets to his feet.

“What do you think?” I ask him, quickly swiping the tears from my eyes. This baby has no idea how lucky he is to have a daddy like Kai.

“Despite the safety hazard flashing like a warning in the back of my mind because my name is on your back like a target, you look damn good. I think we may have to add it to the list of things for you to wear…by itself.”

I snort and shake my head. “And that’s our cue, daredevil,” I say, pushing him to the door.

“What? I thought it would be a good idea!” He yells, hopping down the stairs and holding his hand out for me. I shake my head and take it, carefully stepping down.

We walk to where our team is stationed, and Kai’s head is on a swivel. When we first arrived, he even talked to the arena security, asking how they frisk fans and employees coming in and out. I’m glad I wasn’t there for that conversation.

He nods to my dad for me to stand by him, and I want to roll my eyes, but I don’t because he’s on edge. I don’t need him worrying about me right now.

The guys double-check their bikes and then warm up. Before I know it, it’s my husband’s turn to cheat death.

***

After the comp, I stayed right where Kai could see me. Dad gave me a couple of weird looks, but I’m sure he chalked it up to me wanting to spend time with him. “How is the house?” he asks.

I laugh. “Kai is no interior decorator.”

He chuckles. “Can’t say I’m surprised. The only thing the man thinks about is you and that bike,” he says. I smile to myself while Kai talks to the guys after they’re all done. Everyone is laughing and high-fiving. Deacon lost a few points, but overall, everyone did really well. I lift my camera and catch a few pictures of the guys looking like a solid team.

“Are you okay, though? The baby good?” Dad asks.

My hand flies to my stomach, and I stare at Kai. His eyes rest on me, and I look at my father. “Yeah, we’re good. My back has been killing me lately, though.”

He chuckles. “Your mother wouldn’t stop complaining about her back, her neck, or her feet. I swear my thumbs were going to come off as much as I massaged your mother’s feet.”

“Are you sure it was just because she was pregnant?” I mutter.

He chuckles. “I didn’t care at the time, Cordi. I was going to be a daddy. I would have done anything your mom needed.”

I smile at him and hug his arm. “I love you, Dad,” I whisper.

“I love you too, sweetheart. I’m glad you’re happy. That’s all I’ve ever wanted for you,” he says.

“I am happy, Dad. I love him. I was scared of becoming a mom, but with Kai, I’m more excited than anything else.”

“Good, it’s an exciting time,” he says, and I smile and kiss his cheek. Kai saunters over to us, and Dad shakes his hand. “You did good, Kai. The whole team did. I’m proud of you boys.”

Kai beams. “Thanks. I felt good up there.”

“You looked good, too,” I murmur, reaching for Kai. He grins and kisses my cheek.

“Down, girl,” he says into my ear.

“Alright, that’s my cue,” Dad says, walking away.

“So, now that we have some time off together before the championship, I want to do a few things with you.”

“That sounds like a stay in bed for two weeks straight kind of thing.” I laugh, loving the idea. Even though I want to ride him like a cowgirl, I’d also like to sleep for thirteen of our fourteen days.

“If you want,” he says, kissing my temple. “But what I was going to say is we can have your dad over if he wants. We have the room. I might have to soundproof our room, or we can put him downstairs and make that a bedroom.” I slap my hand on his chest. “What? I’m serious. I can’t have my father-in-law, who is also my coach, hearing me make love to my woman. There are some lines I just can’t cross, gem,“ he says quietly.

“Thank you for being so considerate of my father’s ears.”

“You’re welcome,” he says, like he did me a favor. We go back to the team, and everyone starts to pack up.

“Alright, boys, you have a couple of weeks off. Get some rest, practice, and don’t get wasted. Are we clear? I want everyone back and ready to kill it after some much-deserved R R.” Dad gives each of the boys a look and stops on us. He smiles at me, and I can’t help but laugh at him.

“Reece, you’re welcome to stay with us,” Kai says.

Dad glances at me and shakes his head. “Thanks, man, but I’m going to go visit an old friend.”

I frown, knowing what that means, which is Dad getting on a bike and being a little too much of an adrenaline junkie.

“Dad,” I grumble.

“Oh, Cordi, I’ll be fine. I’m going to be a grandpa now. I won’t go too crazy, okay?”

“Fine.” I cross my arms and lean into Kai.

“Well, you’re always welcome if you change your mind,” Kai says. Dad nods and pulls me away from Kai and into his arms.

“I’ll see you in a few weeks,” he says and lets go. “Take care of my girl, Kai.”

“Will do, coach. I promise,” Kai says, and Dad squeezes my hand and walks off. “Do you want to get on the road now, or would you rather stay here and then go home?”

“I’m ready to start our mini stay-cation. Let’s go home.”

He grins and kisses me. “Home sounds good.”