Fighting For Light: A Dark Sports Romance (The Coldwell Brothers)

39. Cordelia

Once we got home from the competition, Kai and I crashed, and I didn’t get up until ten the next morning. I never sleep in that late.

I pull on a dress and look for Kai. He’s not in the kitchen, so I walk toward the front of the house and find him lifting weights in one of the rooms he’s turned into a gym.

“Morning,” he grunts, lifting a kettlebell from behind, working his tricep.

“Morning,” I sigh.

He grins and winks at me.

“There’s water on the stove ready for you if you want some tea. I didn’t want to wake you up, so I figured I would make us some breakfast when you were ready.”

“You? Cooking? Are you planning on making me a protein shake and some cut-up fruit?”

He grunts again and drops the large kettlebell before sitting on his bench.

“No,” he says, drawing the word out and wiping his brow. “I can cook…basic things. You know, like pancakes, and eggs, and bacon.”

“That sounds palatable,” I tell him, leaning against the door frame.

“Okay, I’ll get started on it.”

“No, no,” I tell him, holding up my hands. “Please finish your workout. It’s my favorite show.”

He laughs and drags the towel over his chest. “Well, sorry to disappoint. That was my last rep.”

I sigh and frown. “Next time, could you get me up?” I ask him, grinning.

He laughs. “Sure, baby, as long as you practice some of those breathing exercises. We have another class tomorrow.”

“Yippie,” I grumble and walk towards the kitchen.

“If that’s what we need to do to prepare, then that’s what we will do,” Kai says behind me.

I flip the stove on, wait for the kettle to boil the water, and toss some tea into a bag before dropping it into the mug. I’m trying to ignore the anxiety that rushed through me when Kai mentioned the class. I’m self-aware enough to recognize that it’s not the class giving me anxiety. It’s the…birthing part. Kai grabs my chin and tilts my face up.

“What’s up? Why did you shut down like that?” he asks, searching my eyes.

My eyes burn, and I want to slap myself for it. His hand holds my chin still, and my bottom lip wobbles.

“Baby,” he coos, letting me go and pulling me into a hug. I don’t even care that he’s sweaty.

I lay my cheek on his shoulder, and a sob rips through my throat. I could talk to my mom, maybe even Esmarie, but I don’t want them to know I’m scared. I’m supposed to be strong. I’m supposed to be completely ready for when the time comes, right? I cry into his shoulder as he holds me while we stand in the kitchen. He doesn’t keep asking me what’s wrong, he just holds me. He is my strength when I don’t know where to find mine.

“I’m scared,” I whisper into his skin.

“Of what, baby? I’ve got you. You’re safe,” he murmurs as he rubs my back.

I take a stuttered breath. “It sounds stupid, though.”

He pulls back, still holding on to me, and frowns. “Gem, there is nothing stupid between us. I don’t care if it’s a question you asked me five minutes ago, and I already gave you the answer. What’s on your mind?”

“I’m scared to have this baby. I’m afraid I won’t be strong enough. What if…promise me if something happens to me and you have to choose, choose him. Promise me,” I demand as tears stream down my face.

His eyes turn red, and tears line the edges, but they don’t fall. They rarely do.

“That’s not going to happen, but I promise,” he says, choking on the last word. “You’re going to be an amazing mother, and it’s all going to be okay, baby. You are strong. You are healthy. I pray for you every day, hoping He hears me. I might be beyond His ears, but you aren’t, so I ask anyway.”

“You’re not either,” I say, gripping onto him.

“This is probably not the best time to say this, but no time like the present.”

“What?” I mutter.

“I want to make sure you know how to shoot a gun.”

I freeze. Dad taught me a while ago, but I haven’t touched one for a while. It’s not like I needed it until now.

“Why?” I ask.

He frowns and sighs at the same time. I watch him search for the words as he looks out the window behind me.

He clears his throat before saying, “I will always protect you. I will always be there to save you. Nothing and no one will keep me from you. But…if there were a case where I wasn’t, I want to give you a fighting chance. I hope it will never come to that, but if it does, you will know what to do.” He looks at me with serious eyes, and I know deep down he’s afraid that someone will get to him and it will leave me on my own. That may be true, and I have to accept it. I know who I married.

“Okay,” I rasp.

“Thank you, baby,” he murmurs and kisses my cheek. “Ready for breakfast?” he asks while still hugging me.

I nod against his shoulder, and the kettle starts whistling.

He lets me go and pours the water into the mug, gesturing for me to go sit down. My mind drifts while Kai finishes making breakfast. I don’t know what I’d do if I lost him. The thought alone makes me want to puke. I just got him. I want, no, need to keep him. A plate full of eggs, bacon, and pancakes is placed in front of me with a glass of orange juice.

“Thank you.”

He grunts and sits down with his coffee. I miss coffee.

“When we’re really old, and one of us dies, I hope we go together.”

Kai pauses with his fork full of eggs close to his mouth and drops it back on his plate. “That’s not morbid or anything,” he quips.

I laugh dryly. “We’ve been on the topic of morbid things this morning.”

He lifts his shoulder and shovels the eggs into his mouth.

I assume he’s going to leave it, but then he gives me one of those bone-shaking, thigh-squeezing stares, and I can’t do anything but look back at him. “Hopefully, it’s me because I don’t think I could live a day on earth without you being my wife. I can’t even bear the thought; it hurts too much,” he says, rubbing his chest.

I nod, knowing exactly how he feels.

“So yeah, I guess it would be good for us to go when we’re old and wrinkly, and I can’t take care of you or make love to you, and our kids are long gone, living their lives happy and healthy.”

The corner of my mouth tips up. “That sounds like a good plan.”

He takes a drink of his water. “Good thing we have a lot of life to live before then.”

***

“Keep your hand here and make sure your thumb is not there,” he says, moving my thumb from the top part of the gun. “Fingers here and here,” he says, resting my finger against the trigger instead of on it. “The safety is here, and the general rules are to squeeze the trigger, don’t pull it. And make sure this elbow is slightly bent, and your other arm is straight here.” He taps each of my legs, helping me position them. “Make sure your back leg is steady because there will be recoil. If you’re not ready, if it’s not second nature, it will throw you off, and you’ll lose your balance, leaving you vulnerable.”

I nod and take a deep breath.

He releases me and takes a step back, leaving my skin feeling cold.

“All you, Cordi. Squeeze that trigger.”

I glance at him over my shoulder, then focus on the target ahead. He brought us to a shooting range, and instead of sharing the space with other people practicing, he rented out the whole place and told the people working here to take an extended lunch.

I focus on the outline of a body and squeeze the trigger like he taught me. I shoot a few times, then flip the safety back on. Kai hits the button to bring the paper back on the track. There are three bullet holes nowhere near the center of mass. One hit the arm, the bottom of a leg, and then a random spot not even remotely close to the black-printed body.

“Well, it looks like we need to practice…a lot.”

I frown at the paper. I don’t know what I thought would happen. Part of me hoped that maybe I would be like Mrs. Smith and hit every target. A girl can dream.

“Hey, it’s okay. Did you assume you’d hit the target every time?”

“Maybe?” I tell him.

He chuckles and puts a fresh page up in the clips, hitting the button to send it back.

“Try again.”

I take a deep breath, lift the gun like Kai showed me, and squeeze the trigger. I shoot off five rounds this time and set the gun back down.

“Hey, look at this! You hit him in the chest!”

I smile at Kai. “I guess that’s a good thing.”

He drops the paper and turns around, pulling me to him. His strong arms calm the anxiousness spinning through me, and I feel his cheek against my head.

“It is, but let’s hope you never have to because I’ll be there to do it for you.” My stomach twists at the thought that Kai would have to do anything like that for me, but there is no doubt in my mind that he would.

“Let’s hope you never have to,” I say into his shoulder.

“Okay, enough of that. Let’s try again,” he urges me.

I nod and grab the heavy gun in my hand. Kai’s hands come up around mine, and I stop looking at my target, keeping my arms in the same position.

“I can handle the firearm, Kai,” I mutter.

He groans and pushes his front into my back. “I love it when you talk dirty to me,” he says, grinning and nips my ear. I have to put the gun down because of the shutter running through my body.

“And you call me kinky,“ I grin.

He chuckles and spins me around, pushing me up against the counter where guns and ammo lay. I glance up at the corners of the room. There are cameras everywhere, which makes sense, being where we are. But it doesn’t exactly provide a lot of privacy. He sucks on my neck and lays measured kisses over my collarbone to the other side of my jaw. He nips my skin, making me jump.

“I didn’t think watching you shoot a gun would be an aphrodisiac,” he says with a gravelly voice in my ear.

The hair on the back of my neck stands on end as the rest of my body responds to his. “Kai,” I moan a little too loudly.

His hand skates under my oversized shirt to my breast and angles in front of my body, so it would be hard to see what he’s doing to me.

“There’s cameras, babe. Can we just take this home?” I ask him.

He drops his hands and flips the button of my jeans. He grins against my mouth and kisses me.

“Or we could keep doing this. I’ll buy the place if I have to.”

My head tips back, and I hit it on the partition.

“Ouch.” I grab the back of my head.

“Oh, shit. I’m sorry, baby.” He lets go and checks my head.

I lean up to kiss him and whisper, “Take me home so we can finish this.”

“Yes, ma’am. Though I have to say, I think this is a future fantasy I would like to see.”

I laugh and shake my head, grabbing our stuff. “Maybe when I’m not in my second trimester.”

“Fine,” he sighs and winks.

I shake my head and flip the safety back on the handgun.

Kai packs us up, and we walk out of the shooting range together.