Fighting For Light: A Dark Sports Romance (The Coldwell Brothers)

58. Kai

“You can do it, Cordi. One more push. You can do it.”

She looks at me, gritting her teeth as sweat covers her forehead and tears run down her face.

I keep wiping it away, and she keeps shooting daggers out of her eyes. It took a while, but once the doctor said she was fully dilated, it was time to push.

I intentionally didn’t do much research about this part of the birth. Not because I’m afraid of blood but because I knew it would make me more nervous than Cordi, and I need to be her strength right now. She needs me to root for her instead of thinking about how a baby the size of a small watermelon is currently exiting her body.

Her hand squeezes mine with surprising strength as she grits her teeth, bearing down to push this little miracle out. She screams behind her teeth and then falls back into the bed.

“Good job, Mama,” I tell her. She looks at me, then at the nurses wiping our son off and checking him for who knows what.

But it’s silent. My heart drops into my stomach, and Cordi’s hand squeezes mine again as seconds tick by what feels like hours. The nurse continues to tap his back, and then a shrill cry fills the air. I take a deep breath and check on Cordelia again.

“Good job, both of you. You’re a good team,” the doctor says.

“Is he okay?” Cordi asks.

“He’s a perfect baby boy,” he says, bringing him over to Cordi to lay him on her chest. “We will get him measured and weighed, but first, he needs to be skin-to-skin with you for a bit.”

I watch her take our son and hold him to her breast. My heart is about to explode at the sight.

“He’s beautiful, gem,” I say in awe, trying to swallow the emotion building in my chest. A sob breaks through her lips, and she keeps looking between me and him. I lean over, wiping her tears and pushing her hair back out of her face. “You did it. I’m so proud of you, baby, I’m so proud of you.”

She cries and looks down at him. He’s not crying, he’s just lying there breathing against his mother’s chest. You can tell the moment the doctor laid him on her chest, he relaxed. This kid might be a mama’s boy, not that I could blame him.

“What name did we decide on?” Cordi asks. I admire our son, trying to decide what feels like a fitting name for him.

“He looks like a Theodore.”

She looks down at him, gently rubbing her thumb on his tiny back. “I think he looks like one, too. Theodore Kai Coldwell.”

My mouth drops open.

“You want his middle name to be…really?” I ask in total disbelief.

She grabs my hand while her other holds our son. “You are his father in every single way that counts, Kai. Your name is on that birth certificate. He is your son, so Theodore Kai Coldwell makes a whole lot of sense to me.”

I pin my lips together, getting choked up, and she smiles softly up at me.

“I love you so much,” I rasp as a tear escapes my eye. “I love you both.”

“We love you, too, Daddy,” she says.

“Alright, Cordelia, let’s finish getting you cleaned up. But first, what name do we put on the birth certificate?” Doctor House asks.

“Theodore Kai Coldwell,” I rasp.

He writes it down on a piece of paper and hands it to the nurse.

“Wonderful. Mom, if you want to hand Theodore over to Lola, she will get him weighed and measured. Then we’ll hand him off to Dad and get you in clean sheets.”

She nods, but I hesitate. I’ve never held a baby, let alone a thirty-minute-old one. I glance between Theo and the doctor. Lola comes around and takes him. I watch her carefully rest him on the baby scale and then measure him. She walks back over to us, and I open my arms, not sure what to do.

“Hey, I get it. The first time is the scariest. Let’s have you take your shirt off so he can be on your skin. I need you to hold your arms like this, almost as if you’re hugging yourself.” She smiles and gestures towards the chair. “Go ahead and sit down.”

I whip off my t-shirt and sit in the chair. She comes up to me and leans forward, gently putting my son in his little diaper, socks, and hat onto my bare chest. His warmth instantly transfers to my body as I hold him to me.

“There you go. Make sure you’re supporting his neck here,” she says, gently tapping my hand up. I move it to his little head and neck. Then she taps my hand to rest around his bottom and lower back. My hands are so big compared to him. They almost cover his tiny body completely.

I stare at him in utter awe as he rests his tiny fists on my chest. His little lips purse and move like he’s about to cry, but his eyes remain closed. Cordelia makes a sound, and I lift my head to find her looking at us, tears falling down her face.

“Are you okay?” I ask her.

She nods and rests her hands on her stomach.

“When you’re ready, we will swaddle him so Mom can feed him.” Eventually, Lola and the rest of the team leave. Cordelia takes long, deep breaths like she’s still in labor, and I frown.

“It’s okay, it’s normal,” she says. I nod and look back down at Theo, at a loss for words.

“I wish I had my camera,” Cordi whispers.

“We should probably call my mom and brothers in. Your dad is on his way.”

“Okay, but…not right now. I want this to be just us.”

I smile at her and look back down at our baby. “Okay, Mama.”

She grins and looks at Theo in my large hands. It’s quiet and peaceful until he starts to stir.

“I think that means he’s hungry,” she says, holding her arms out for him. I stand from the chair, carefully cradling him in my hands. “Wait, let me undo this,” she says and unties her hospital gown, baring her chest. I growl and look over my shoulder, even though no one is here. She grins at me and holds her hands out. “You’re going to have to get used to this, babe. My boobs are probably going to be out all the time.”

“I mean, I’m not complaining because they’re great, but no one else gets to see them.”

She rolls her eyes and takes our son from my hands.

There’s a knock at the door, and Doctor House walks through. I step in front of Cordi, blocking her from view. There’s a quiet chuckle, and he walks around to the other side. I boil my options down to either vault myself over this bed and rip his eyes out or drag him out of here screaming for looking at my wife.

“Oh, good. We wanted to come in and check on you and see if you’re ready to start feeding.”

“I’m trying, but I don’t know if he realizes how to do it,” Cordi says.

The doctor washes his hands and then stands next to Cordi.

“I’m going to check here to see if I feel any clogging. It’s not unusual for milk ducts to clog. You probably wouldn’t have noticed unless you were looking for it.” Cordi nods, and he slides his hand under my wife’s breast, and I see red.

“Babe, he has to check. We need to make sure Theo can get milk.”

“Then switch him to the other boob,” I grumble, fisting my hands. The doctor checks the other, and it’s all I can do not to kick him in the face.

“Everything is good. It’s going to take some practice. You might have to lift the nipple to his mouth.” Cordelia nods again, guiding her breast to Theo’s mouth. His lips open, but he doesn’t seem to get the picture. She holds him up a little more, and then, like magic, he latches on to her. “See? You got this, Mom. Feed him for as long as he takes, and then we can show you how to burp him.”

“We can take care of our son,” I grit out.

“You absolutely can, so please let us know if you have any questions or need any help.”

I stare him down as he leaves the room while I feel Cordi’s eyes on me as she feeds Theo.

“Kai, take a deep breath. Please don’t get us kicked out for being rude to a doctor who has seen, I’m sure, thousands of boobs and vaginas because that’s his job. It’s okay. We’re all good.”

“I don’t like his hands on you.”

She giggles and shakes her head. “Yeah, I put that together.”

I sigh and relax back into my seat.

Cordi stares lovingly down at Theo as he takes short pulls from her, his little fist resting on top. I reach over and put my finger in his hand, and surprisingly, he takes it. Cordelia sniffles, and I drag my eyes away from Theo.

“Are you in pain? Do I need to go get Lola?” I ask since I will not ask for Doctor Copafeel.

She shakes her head and rolls her eyes at the same time. “No, I’m okay…I just…thank you.”

“For what?” I ask her.

Our eyes are locked together, and my body feels like it’s tingling.

“For being the man of my dreams. For already being the father I’d hoped you’d be.”

At a loss for words, I rub the back of my neck, and my cool wedding ring touches my neck, somehow grounding me.

“I don’t know what to say,” I tell her.

She grins while Theo is eating like it’s his job.

“You don’t have to say anything, daredevil. I just want you to know I see it, and I’m grateful. I love you.”

I smile at that and stand to kiss her because it’s been too long. She lifts her chin, and I admire her eyes before slowly pressing my lips to hers.

“You are one in a million, Cordelia Coldwell,” I murmur against her smiling lips.