Find Me in July (Mesa Boys)

Chapter 7

seven

T roy sat on an iron patio chair alongside a table on the porch of the cabin, overlooking the lake and the roof of a long brown building housing condominiums sitting right in front of the lake and beach. The leaves of the trees flittered overhead in the breeze. He glanced at Jessie, sitting in the chair next to him, his beer on the table, his arms resting across it, his gaze far away.

Troy laid his arm across the table, putting his fingers close to Jessie’s. He felt like touching him. He didn’t know why, didn’t even care why. The edge of his index finger caught on Jessie’s knuckle.

Jessie’s attention shifted to him, and a grin broke out over his mouth. “You thinking again?”

Troy moved his hand closer to Jessie’s and hooked the ends of their fingers. There, now he was happy.

Jessie glanced at their fathers on the porch next door, chatting and barbequing steaks. His grin faded and he yanked his hand away, straightening in his seat. He scratched at his temple. “We, uh, should be careful.”

Troy furrowed his brows. “Of what?” They weren’t doing anything wrong.

Jessie tilted toward him. In a low voice, he said, “We can’t let anyone know what’s going on. They can’t even suspect it.”

Troy freed a quick chuckle. “What’s going on?” It wasn’t like they were totally gay. He was only touching his best friend’s fingers. Was that a crime?

Jessie lifted his brows. “Troy, you said you figured it out and you said that right after...”

Donna stepped onto the porch. “Oh, I see the lovebirds have made up.” She grinned at them both. “Mind if I have a beer with you?”

“Stop with the lovebirds thing, Donna.” Troy huffed and sipped his beer. If anyone was going to notice what was going on, apparently it was her.

Jessie stiffened and shifted his chair closer to Troy’s.

Troy grinned at him. Had Donna scared him after yesterday? But he wasn’t sure he was ready to watch her flirt with him today. There was no good reason for it.

Donna took the seat next to Jessie’s, set a beer on the table and looked them both over. “So, anyone going to tell me what the big fight was about yesterday?” She focused on Jessie. “Nate said Troy made you cry.”

“What?” Jessie dropped his mouth open. His gaze darted to Troy’s. “Th-that’s not true.”

Troy flinched, his heart squeezing. If he had, he’d never forgive himself. Was that why his eyes looked so bad this morning? He wanted to take his hand, hug him, anything. But not with everyone here. He mumbled, “Sorry...”

Donna fingered her beer. “So, Nate said you were crying into your pillow last night. He heard you. You probably thought he was asleep. But he was worried about you. I told him you got into a fight with my dork of a brother.”

Troy pinched his lips. “I’m not a dork.”

Jessie hung his head. “He must have been hearing things.”

She flashed her eyes at Jessie. “Nate says you’ve been arguing with your dad a lot, too. He says you’re different now. He thinks something happened to you in New York and you might not go back.” She knit her brows together. “I hope Troy is being a good friend. It sounds like you need one right now.” She sipped her beer.

Troy stared at him. How the hell had his sister found all this out? She’d probably grilled Nate for information she could use to get closer to Jessie. “Don’t worry, I’m being a good friend.” He grabbed Jessie’s forearm. “Right?”

Jessie gulped hard, then nodded.

Troy squeezed his arm. He didn’t feel like a good friend right now. He felt like an asshole. He needed to show him what a good friend he could be. He needed to get Jessie to open up and find out what happened. To do that, he probably needed to start opening up himself. Jessie wanted to know what he was thinking. Maybe it was time he had the balls to tell him. He probably needed to come clean with him and be frank about things.

Jessie’s mother, flaunting her curves in a flowered sundress, walked out onto the porch. “Dinner is ready. Why don’t you boys go eat with your fathers?” She looked them over, her blue eyes focused on Jessie, her straight, brown bangs pulled up from the front of her face, held in place with decorative hair combs.

“Sure.” Jessie sighed and rose from the table with his beer in his hand.

Troy grabbed his beer, got up and followed Jessie to a wooden picnic table on the porch at Jessie’s cabin. He took a seat next to his father, while Jessie sat across from him and next to his own father. He looked over the spread of corn on the cob, steak, and potato salad, then placed food onto his white paper plate.

“So, what have you boys been up to?” Mr. Smith, dressed in a blue, button-down, short-sleeve shirt, looked them over, his thick black glasses resting on the end of his nose, his dark hair slicked back on his head.

Jessie shrugged. “Just the usual—boating, playing frisbee, shooting some pool.” Jessie spooned potato salad onto his plate, next to his steak and corn.

Troy watched Jessie. How would he act in front of his father? “Yeah, Dad’s letting us take the van out to the drive-in tomorrow.” He glanced at his own father. “Right, Dad?”

An American flag stretched across the t-shirt over Mr. Larson’s wide chest. He chuckled. “Yes, that’s right. So, you two have some dates lined up for the movie?”

Jessie flashed his eyes at Troy.

“Uh, yeah, sure.” Troy lifted his brows at Jessie. He hadn’t told Jessie that he’d lied to his father to get the van by themselves, but he should know there were no dates.

Jessie pursed his lips, then ate a bite of steak.

“You’re sure quiet, Jessie. Aren’t you looking forward to going out on a date?” Mr. Smith glanced at him and cut into his steak.

“Sure.” Jessie stared at his plate, pushing potato salad around with his fork, then ate a bite.

“So, where’d you meet these girls?” Mr. Smith glanced at Troy.

“Oh, we met them at that new bar, The Commander.” Troy buttered his corn. Jessie had to have figured out he’d lied to get the van. He knew those girls were gone now.

Mr. Smith sipped beer from a can. “So, Troy, you’re doing well in college?”

“Yeah, doing okay.” Troy ate a bite of steak, focusing on Jessie. Why was he so quiet? Why wasn’t he eating more? The atmosphere felt tense for some reason.

“I’m sure Jessie’s grades will come back up this next year, right, Jessie?” Mr. Larson smiled at him.

Jessie nodded. “Sure.” He glanced at Mr. Larson, flickering a smile across his lips, then ate a bite of steak.

Mr. Smith freed a long exhale. “Jessie, you could at least engage the rest of us in some conversation.”

“Sorry.” Jessie hung his head a moment, then drew a deep breath. “Mr. Larson, I’m not positive I’m going back to school in the fall. I might take some time off.”

Troy widened his eyes. He said it in front of his father, in front of all of us.

Mr. Larson studied Jessie, chewing. “Why is that, son?”

Mr. Smith’s lips thinned, and he cleared this throat. “He doesn’t know what he’s saying. He’s going back to school.”

Jessie glared at his father. “No, I’m not.”

Mr. Smith’s face reddened.

Mr. Larson held his hand up. “Now, everyone, hold on. Jessie, I’m sure you have a good reason for this decision. Why don’t you tell us what it is?”

Jessie glanced at Troy, then focused on his father. “I-I need some time to figure things out.”

“What sort of things?” Mr. Larson tented his fingers over his plate.

“I, well, I...” Jessie looked at Troy, wrinkling his brows. “I need to figure some things out.” He stared at his plate.

Troy’s chest tightened. What did he need to figure out? Did it have anything to do with him or what was going on between them? Did that fucker Gary play into this at all? He watched his father. Maybe his dad could help Jessie, being a high school teacher and all. He’d helped plenty of his students figure out what to do with their lives.

Mr. Larson furrowed his brows and glanced at Mr. Smith, then placed his hand on the table, close to Jessie’s plate. “Jessie, do you think you want to change your major? Or are you not sure you want to go back to New York?”

Jessie rubbed at his forehead. “Maybe both.” He gazed at Mr. Larson. “I’m not sure I want to work at Dad’s company. I was thinking maybe I could try going out west, to San Francisco, maybe.”

“San Francisco?” Troy’s breath caught. An ache built his in heart. Was he going to lose Jessie for good after this month was over?

Jessie focused on Troy, his forehead wrinkling. “I’m sorry, man. Guess I never had a chance to talk to you about it.”

Troy dropped his mouth open. Maybe he’d never had the chance because he hadn’t let him talk about it. They were definitely going to talk about it now.

Mr. Smith scowled and shook his head. “Not with my money, you aren’t.”

“Why San Francisco?” Mr. Larson narrowed his eyes.

Jessie dropped his gaze to his plate. He picked up his fork and stabbed it into his steak. “Because it seems right for me.”

“Do you want to go to school there? Is there a college you think would be better for you?” Mr. Larson tapped is fingers on the table. “I’m trying to understand, Jessie.”

“I know. I can’t explain it, okay?” He focused on Mr. Larson. “I don’t want to talk about it anymore.”

Mr. Smith crossed his arms over his chest. “You see, Carl? This is what I get. I don’t know, I’m not sure, I can’t explain it, and then the I don’t want to talk about it. This is why I’m so frustrated.” He gestured at Jessie.

Jessie huffed. “Can I just have some time off? Is that too much to ask?” He glared at his father.

“To do what? Sit around and get high?” Mr. Smith clenched his jaw.

Gritting his teeth, Jessie stood from the table, glanced at Troy, then strode off the porch.

Troy rose and jogged after him. As he rounded the corner of the cabin, he sped up and caught Jessie’s arm. “Hey.”

Jessie stopped and hung his head. “I’m not going back out there.”

“To New York?” Troy’s heart pounded. That wouldn’t be so bad. Then they could see each other more.

“No, to the porch, to dinner. Maybe New York, too.” Jessie huffed and raked a hand through his dark hair.

“What’s going on with you? Did something happen in New York this year? Can you talk to me ?” Troy brushed his hand up and down his arm.

Jessie yanked his arm away. “Stop it. What if my father comes around the corner?”

Troy furrowed his brows. “He’ll see me rubbing your arm. So?”

“Dude, you’re so na?ve sometimes.” Jessie scoffed. “Can we just let it go? I’m tired of being questioned.”

“But what’s this about San Francisco? When were you planning on going there?” Troy’s heart ached. He gulped over a lump in his throat. Somehow, it felt farther away than New York and it could be even harder for him to reach Jessie.

“Obviously, it’s not decided. It was just an idea I had.” Jessie sighed. “My father’s having none of it. He was calm this time, probably because your dad was there. Usually, he’s screaming at me about how I have to do what he says, or he’ll stop paying.”

Troy gnawed his lower lip. “So, do you want to stay here?” He’d love to have Jessie around after their vacation. How cool would that be?

Jessie frowned. “I don’t know, man. Leave it be, okay? Let’s go somewhere and get high. I need to chill for a bit.”

“Sure.” Troy offered him a faint smile. “We can come back later for fireworks and eat leftovers.”

“Yeah.” Jessie smirked.

Troy followed Jessie to the cabins from the trail in the woods, his head buzzing from finishing off a quick joint. It was dusk, and the air darkened around them by the minute. Fireflies lit up in the undergrowth under the trees as they passed them by on the path. He seized Jessie’s arm. “Look.”

Jessie stopped, his eyes narrowed from the joint, a faint grin curling his lips. “What?”

“Fireflies.” Troy hooked an arm around his waist, pointing into the bushes. Light flickered here and there in a haphazard pattern.

Jessie edged closer to his side. “That’s cool, man.”

Troy tightened his hold on him. The conversation with Donna on the porch flashed through his mind. “Did I make you cry?” He wanted the truth. It meant something, that maybe Jessie was feeling the same way he was.

“What?” Jessie turned in Troy’s arm, catching his gaze on Troy’s.

“You know, when we argued. Nate told Donna?—”

“Maybe.” Jessie wrinkled his brows.

Troy’s heart skipped. He brushed the back of his hand on Jessie’s cheek. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you.” Damn, I feel like kissing him. But someone could be around.

Jessie widened his eyes, taking a deep breath. “I thought I’d ruined our friendship.”

“Now you know you didn’t, right?” Troy licked his lips and focused on Jessie’s mouth. Maybe just one... He leaned in, closing his eyes.

“Troy, we need to get back. The fireworks will be starting.” Jessie unwrapped himself from Troy’s arm. “Let’s go.”

Troy popped his eyes open. What am I thinking? The weed must be messing with his mind.

Troy stood on the beach behind Jessie with members of both families in various spots in front of them, all focused on the lake, looking for fireworks. Moonlight shimmered off the lake and stars littered the clear night sky. He scanned across the shadow of trees on the other side of the lake and then over Gooseberry Island. He and Jessie had started something there. His chest warmed.

Light shot up from the beach across from them, then burst into a large circle of red and yellow sparkles.

“Dude, did you see that?” Jessie turned to him, grinning from ear to ear.

“Yeah, I saw it.” Troy found Jessie’s fingers between their bodies and lightly touched them. He couldn’t help himself.

Jessie turned his back to him, his fingertips lightly rubbing inside Troy’s hand.

Jessie’s touch left a tickle in Troy’s palm. Heat dashed up his spine. Damn, even that was enough to turn him on now. Maybe they could play the fake flirting game. Except was it really fake anymore? He came close to Jessie’s ear. “I got something else you can play with.”

Jessie smirked and leaned back. “You do? Is it long and hard?”

“Getting there,” Troy whispered.

“I’m ready, anytime.” Jessie pushed his back flush to his chest.

More fireworks went off at various places around the lake.

Donna, standing closer to the water, pointed up, squealing. “Did you see that?”

“Yeah, good one,” Mark said, standing next to Donna.

“Oh, there’s one.” Mrs. Larson pointed to the left.

As the light flickered upward, a boom sounded, followed by a cascade of lights.

Troy’s fingers entwined in Jessie’s and closed in around his hand. He gazed at the back of his dark head and snuck the fingers of his other hand up Jessie’s t-shirt, skimming over his back and around the side.

Jessie leaned harder into his chest, a soft gasp escaping his lips. He whispered, “What are you doing?”

“Playing.” Troy’s voice was husky. His cock grew heavy in his shorts. That was that. He was touching. Officially gay. Or was it? It’s not like he was touching Jessie’s dick. But what would that be like? Am I really thinking about that right now?

“Dude, don’t tickle me.” Jessie’s body shivered.

Troy skimmed his fingers over Jessie’s side and down around the front waistband of his jean shorts. He was. He was totally thinking about touching Jessie’s dick.

Jessie turned partway toward him, gazing into his eyes. “You trying to turn me on?”

“What if I am?” Troy smirked at him. “Is it working?” It sure as hell was working on him. He ran his fingertips just under the top of Jessie’s shorts.

“Yeah, it’s working.” Jessie bit his lip, stifling a moan. “Dude, what if somebody sees you?”

A loud boom went off and a plume of flickering lights fell over the sky.

Troy startled and snickered. “Nobody is watching us. They’re all watching the fireworks.”

Jessie grabbed his hand and removed it from under his shirt. “Stop.” He peered into his eyes, then glanced at his lips. “Wait for the drive-in tomorrow. We can bring the skin mag.”

Troy’s cock pulsed. Somehow, he didn’t think they needed the skin mag anymore. “Okay. But you said, anytime .” He tilted his head and grinned.

Jessie shook his head, chuckling. “Wait for the drive-in.” He turned around and looked out over the lake.

Troy attempted to focus on the fireworks, watching each one as it burst color and light into the sky and someone from their families made a comment. What would happen tomorrow? Would things change between him and Jessie even more? Every day this thing was growing, getting more out of control. And he didn’t even mind. He glanced at the back of Jessie’s head. What was going on inside it? Was Jessie thinking and feeling the same things? He had to be. But then why was he talking about going to San Francisco? A jolt of pain pierced his chest. He wouldn’t let that happen. He found Jessie’s hand and held it. He definitely wouldn’t let that happen.

Troy lay on a blue fish-patterned beach towel in the mid-afternoon sun, his eyes closed, listening to Jessie’s tape deck playing Hot Blooded by Foreigner. He tapped his fingers to the song on his towel. “This is new.”

“Yeah, just came out.” Jessie lay next to him on his own matching towel.

Something rubbed against Troy’s tapping fingers. He hooked his pinky over Jessie’s, mid-tap, then smirked. This almost hand holding thing had become their way of being close when people were around, their own little secret that there was more between them than friends.

As Troy lay with the sun warming the front of his skin, his mind meandered through yesterday, the fireworks, then the drive-in to come. He’d decided the only way to get Jessie to open up was to be open himself. He owed him that much. He’d also decided that the drive-in, when they were alone in the van, would be the perfect time. He could lock the world out, and if things went bad, there was nowhere to go. So neither of them could run away. Neither of them could hide from the truth. Rustling sounded beside him. He opened his eyes to slits.

Jessie sat on his towel, gazing down at him, grinning.

Troy shielded his eyes with his hand. “What are you up to?” He wasn’t sure he liked the look on his face.

“Let’s get in the water.” Jessie cocked his head.

“Why?” Troy narrowed his eyes.

“It’s hot.” Jessie stood up and wiped sand from the thin fabric of his brown swim trunks, the back, then the front.

Troy watched his hands brush over his ass, then graze his groin. A pulse jolted his shaft. Damn, he was driving him crazy in that swimsuit. The dude was almost indecent. Okay, is indecent. “Dude, you really shouldn’t be touching yourself like that in public.”

Jessie stopped and bent over him, his hands on his knees. “Like what you see?”

Troy lifted on the towel, resting his arms over his knees. “Yeah.”

Jessie straightened. “Then come get it.” He sped off down the sand and high-stepped into the water, splashing around him.

Troy jumped up from the towel and ran into the lake, tackling him in thigh-deep water.

Jessie wriggled in his hold, turning himself around, then popped up and drew a deep breath.

Troy pushed out of the lake, shaking his head, then wiped his eyes.

Jessie, a wide, wicked grin on his face, waded out into deeper water, close to a maze of docks and boats of various sizes. He stopped when the water reached his chest at a gray pontoon boat tied to the outer edge of the docks.

Troy followed him. What the hell was going on? Something was obviously on his mind. As he reached him, an arm wrapped low around his waist. “What are you doing?”

“Come here.” Jessie brought him to the back of the boat, by the raised motor. He searched all around them, then came chest to chest with him, his hands low on Troy’s hips. “This is nice and cool, isn’t it?”

As Troy’s body swayed with the waves, his cock brushed against Jessie’s through the swim trunks. An ache flickered through his groin, swelling his shaft. Jessie must be feeling that, too. Bet it was also giving him a boner. He came close to his ear. “Dude, I’m getting a hard-on.”

“Without your skin mag?” Jessie smirked, then glanced at his mouth, his smile fading. He pulled their hips closer still. Their solid cocks rubbed. He freed a sharp gasp. “Me, too.”

Knew it. Pressure and friction tingled through Troy’s cock. He took a deep breath, steadying himself. Damn, they were sort of touching now, right? But not with their hands. Did this count as gay? He bobbed in the water, his hard cock skimming over Jessie’s. As he shut his eyes, a soft moan slipped from his chest. This was too good. But they had to stop. What if someone saw them? He opened his eyes. “What are you trying to do?”

In a raspy voice, Jessie said, “Nothing.” He lifted his arms and backstroked away from him into neck-deep water. “I really want to know what you were thinking just now.”

Troy stepped closer to him. Don’t worry, you’ll know all of it tonight. He lifted onto his tiptoes with each wave. “I’m thinking about tonight. The drive-in.”

“Yeah? What about it?” Jessie offered a quick grin. “Does it have anything to do with your skin mag?”

Troy lifted a corner of his mouth. “Maybe.” Damn, did they ever not flirt anymore?

“What sort of picture are you going to want tonight?” Jessie stepped closer to him.

I don’t need a picture. Only you. Troy bit his lip. The things that were going through his mind were almost disturbing. If he’d known he’d be thinking like this five days ago, he’d have assumed he’d lost his mind. But here he was. “Maybe a chick with some nice cans.” He held his hands out of the water in a cupping motion.

Jessie busted out in a laugh. “You like big tits, man?”

Troy nodded. He used to like big tits. Okay, he still liked big tits. Apparently, he liked his best friend’s chest, too. And his ass. And his... dick. Tonight couldn’t come fast enough. He licked his lips.

Jessie walked to Troy’s side, taking his hand under the water. “Can we leave early for the drive-in? Maybe tell your parents the chicks we’re taking on our date want to get ice cream before.” He sniggered and shook his head, drips of water flicking off his dark hair.

“Yeah, I’ll see what I can do.” Troy squeezed his hand. “You know that was a lie to get the van to ourselves?”

“I know.”