Finding Gwen

Chapter Eight

“As soon as things slow down here, I’m flying out for a visit. It’s been months and I miss you, babe,” Ivy whined and stuck out her bottom lip, pouting at me over our video call. I chuckled at the absurdity of this grown woman making the same face that Ollie does when he wants one more treat during the day. But she wasn’t wrong. It had been months since we’d seen each other, over three months, actually. I had quickly fallen into a groove with Ollie and Anthony, basically taking over every aspect of Ollie’s day to day schedule.

At the beginning, I asked Anthony for permission every morning. I’d met parents who, even though I spent more time with their children during the week than they did, still expected me to run every detail of the day past them for approval. It was exhausting. Anthony gave me free rein, even going as far as to tell me that I was the professional and I knew what was best. As long as Oliver kept that smile on his face, he didn’t care if we drove to Canada.

One of my biggest concerns with starting somewhere new had been finding a reputable car. I was surprised when Carol reached out to me because she had found one that needed some routine maintenance but was otherwise in amazing condition. She refused to let me pay her for it, insisting I accept it as a gift. I didn’t fight her on it too much, seeing as my small savings was already dwindling, but I promised her I would pay her back somehow. Everything seemed to oddly be working out.

“I miss you, too,” I acknowledged, blowing her a kiss, and her fake pout disappeared. We both laughed, and for a second, I forgot Ivy was a time zone away from me. It felt weird not having my best friend living in the same state, but this move had been good for me. Ivy reminded me of that every chance she got. As she had put it, I had my sparkle back. “Ollie should be up from his nap soon. There’s a small farmer’s market starting soon a few minutes from here, and I’m hoping I can get my hands on some fresh flowers to brighten up this place.” I pushed my laptop back before leaning against the kitchen island so I could still see Ivy but relieve some of the pressure from my aching feet.

“How’re things with Anthony going?” She gave me a knowing look, and I shook my head. Of course, I had let it slip to her the physical allure I had experienced when we first met.

“I barely see the man, let alone interact with him.” I rolled my eyes and heard her chuckling as I busied myself with prepping our bag for the day. “Whenever he’s home in time for dinner or bedtime with Ollie, I tend to give them space. Ollie doesn’t see him often, and I want them to have their special time without my hovering.”

“Has he made eyes at you again?” Ivy pushed, refusing to let this go. I stopped in front of the screen, covering my face and groaning.

“Ivy, I have thus far been able to keep things extremely professional between us. He won’t make eyes at me again. If he even made eyes at me the first time.” My voice was muffled behind my hands, and I swore I could hear muted giggles coming from the screen.

“Who won’t stop making eyes at you?” Startled, I jumped up straight and turned toward the familiar voice. Anthony was standing in the doorway to the kitchen, his button-down and dress slacks looking as if he had just run a marathon. I was caught in the gaze of his brown eyes, like a magnetic field pulling me in. The corner of his lips lifted in a cocky smile that had me practically melting in the middle of the kitchen.

Ivy cleared her throat, causing me to jump. Turning my head toward the screen, Ivy managed to shoot me a quick wink just as I gushed out a quick goodbye and slammed the laptop closed. Warmth rose into my cheeks and my stomach tightened. I closed my eyes, taking a breath, before turning back to Anthony.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t expect you to be home so early,” I said, ignoring his question.

“I wasn’t supposed to be, so no need to apologize. Jason and I had a chase that ended with the guy being incapacitated, so I decided a quick shower would be in order.” His no bullshit way of talking about his day had me speechless. He continued smirking at me as silence filled the air between us. I was finding it hard to formulate a coherent response when his shirt was clinging to his body, exposing the clear outline of his abs. This time I cleared my throat, forcing my eyes to stop roaming his body.

“Well, Ollie should be up soon, and I had planned on us heading to a farmer’s market. Nothing is set in stone, if you want us to stick around,” I said, going back to organizing the bag.

“No, please don’t feel like you need to change your plans,” he said. “I have to head back to the station for a bit to finish paperwork after I shower, so I shouldn’t be home long. As long as we don’t get called out into the field again, I should be back by dinner.”

I nodded my head in understanding before looking anywhere but at him as I gathered everything in my arms to leave the kitchen. Anthony hadn’t budged from his position in the doorway. As I made my way toward him, I refused to make eye contact, not wanting him to see the embarrassment from him walking in on my conversation with Ivy written all over my face. I cleared my throat, not trusting my voice at that moment.

“Words, Gwendalyn,” he growled. No matter how hard I had tried to ignore it, my body felt things that it shouldn’t. His voice alone had me clenching my thighs together, not wanting to acknowledge the wetness between my legs. My heart was beating so frantically that I swore Anthony could hear it. Silently, I begged him to put me out of my misery. I wanted his hands on me, needing to feel that rush of electricity again.

He tilted his head down, his warm breath dancing across my skin, goosebumps quickly forming. My nose filled with a scent I had come to associate with him, pine and bourbon. Though he never drank hard liquor in front of me or Ollie. I chanced a glance and the darkness in his eyes had my legs nearly collapsing underneath me. His lips were inches away from me. All it would take was me standing on my tip toes…

“Something you’d like to say?” he asked.

“Excuse me?” I forced out the words on a squeak. Anthony continued to hold my gaze, but turned his body to allow me to pass. His body heat cocooned me as I tried to squeeze past, doing everything in my power to not let a single centimeter of my body brush against his. When I made it through, I continued down the hallway toward the basement door, resisting the urge to look over my shoulder to see if Anthony was still leaning against the door frame. What had just happened?

I quickly forgot about Anthony and the confusing interaction once Ollie and I ventured out for the day. The farmer’s market was bustling with vendors, including several fresh flower stands, and Ollie insisted we check out every single one. We came home with more than I had anticipated, and I was now attempting to balance the full bags and several bouquets of daisies in one hand while guiding Ollie inside with the other.

We made it inside without incident, and I watched as Ollie ran to the playroom to start setting up his trains with the brand new wooden tunnel he’d seen at the market. Ollie had insisted on needing it, and I had been unable to resist. He had carried it around proudly as we finished weaving our way through people and would not let me put it in any of the bags with our other things when we got home. Ollie carefully placed the tunnel over a part of the tracks he had set up and pushed his train through. The smile that spread across his face was contagious and I took a few more minutes to watch him before I went to the kitchen to start dinner.

Slowly pulling things out of the bags, I sat aside what I planned on using for dinner and put the rest away. After that was done, I got a pot of water on the stove to start boiling before turning my attention to searching for something to hold the flowers I got. I found a vase that looked to have seen better days hidden in the back of the cabinet above the refrigerator. Pulling it down, I gave it a quick wash, then set it down by the flowers as I began stripping and arranging a couple of the daisies into the vase. My heart was happy, and I found myself smiling down at the little arrangement.

Matthew had never let me have flowers in the house. He argued they were a waste of money and space. I got the memo to stop bringing them into the house when I found the vase my grandma had left me smashed into pieces on the floor. The irony of the situation was the roses he always brought home after a fight, even though he knew I was allergic to them. I would keep them out on the counter for a few days, suffering through the inevitable migraines from my itchy eyes and throat, before throwing them away in the garbage can outside.

Pushing the thoughts of Matthew away, I left the flowers to start working on dinner. I checked on Ollie occasionally, who was still happily playing with his trains. Losing track of time, I was putting dinner in the oven when I heard the front door open and close, signaling Anthony’s arrival home. I was closing the oven door and setting the timer when I felt eyes on me.

Glancing over my shoulder, Anthony was standing in the doorway, arms crossed, as his gaze wandered up and down my body. I looked down at my outfit, wondering if maybe he thought something was wrong with my leggings. They were dirty and not the most flattering thing, but comfort over style was my motto. He cleared his throat, and when I looked up, my mouth opened before I could stop it. “Words, Anthony.”

Shit, where the hell had the snark come from? I expected Anthony to immediately say something. Instead, his eyes went wide, staring into mine as my cheeks flushed. The corners of his mouth twitched, a smile threatening to form. I spun around, forcing myself to focus on finishing dinner and gathering dishes, not sure where that confidence had come from. It was not me.

Anthony came up behind me, the heat radiating from his body alerting me to his presence. Unease settled in my bones as I waited.

“What are those?” he muttered, and I peeked over my shoulder to where he was gesturing toward the daisies still scattered on the kitchen island. Although Anthony’s tone wasn’t harsh like Matthew’s always had been, my body still immediately went into damage control mode, internally flinching at his words.

“I’m sorry. I got them from the farmer’s market and thought they would brighten up the space. I can get rid of them. I should have asked first.” Scooping up the flowers, I quickly spun away before Anthony could say a word and walked toward the open trash can that I had been discarding the stripped leaves into. A hand on my shoulder stopped me just as I was about to drop them, and I froze. My body reacted on instinct, my muscles tensing as my jaw clenched close to keep from lashing out. Raising my voice would mean getting slapped.

I braced myself for the harsh words, being called stupid for wasting money usually the first thing to be said. Instead, I was stunned when Anthony released my shoulder, letting his hand linger on my upper arm as it fell to his side. He stepped in front of me, gently pulling the daisies out of my hands.

“I never said you had to get rid of them,” he started, “let alone throw them away. I was simply surprised, especially by the choice of flowers. Most women choose a more traditional flower for arrangements, like roses.” Turning my body, I tracked his movements as he walked back to the island and put the daisies down in a tidy pile by the vase.

Finding my voice, I said the first thing that came to mind. “I’m allergic to roses, so I don’t typically keep them around.”

“That is good to know,” he said, facing me. A playful smile threatened the corners of his lips. “Did you and Oliver have a good day?”

“We did. Did he show you his new train tunnel? He’s obsessed with it and has been playing with it the entire time I was making dinner.”

“His lack of enthusiasm toward my arrival home makes more sense now,” he said, sounding annoyed but understanding.

“My bad.” I offered him a smile as an apology, but was met with an intense gaze that made me wonder if I had offended him. The playfulness he had toward me just a few hours ago seemed to have disappeared. “I’ll go get him,” I quickly added. Turning away once again, I walked out of the dining room and toward Ollie. The anxiety that had slowly been building was threatening to take over as I desperately tried to shove it back down.

Walking into the playroom, I found Ollie down on the floor, pushing his train through the tunnel. Focus on Ollie. Leaning down, I scooped him up, throwing him over my shoulder while I tickled his sides. He laughed and wiggled in my arms until he was nearly pushing himself out of my hold. “Your dad is home, buddy,” I said. Setting him down on his feet, Ollie ran toward his dad where Anthony was waiting to scoop him up.

“Daddy, Miss Gen got me tunnel!” He grabbed Anthony’s face in excitement to make sure he had his dad’s full attention.

“Did you tell Ms. Gwendalyn ‘thank you’ for the tunnel?”

“Yes,” he nodded his head in tandem with his reply. “She da best, Daddy.” Anthony looked toward me, and I saw a glint in his eyes again for just a second before it disappeared. He returned his attention to Ollie before I was able to say or do anything.

“I am so glad you had a good day, figlio mio. How about we—” His sentence was cut off by the ringing of his cell phone, and I knew immediately he was being called into work. Pulling out his phone, he offered Ollie to me and I took him out of his arms.

“Marino.” He gave Ollie a kiss on the head. I had gotten used to this happening, as Anthony frequently got called into work at weird times. Ollie normally never seemed to mind, but for whatever reason, tears began welling up in his eyes as Anthony turned his back to us. The front door closed, echoing Anthony’s departure throughout the house.

“Daddy leave?” he whimpered and my heart shattered. Quickly as I could, I wrapped him in my arms and he laid his head on my shoulder.

“Yeah, little man. I’m sorry. How about we have some ice cream after dinner, though? Since it’ll just be you and me.”

“Yes!” His tears instantly dried up as he sat up in my arms. Chuckling, I planted a kiss of my own on his head before putting him in his chair at the dining table. Grabbing a nearby book that I kept handy for when he needed a distraction, I put it down in front of him just as the oven timer went off. As I started plating dinner, my mind drifted to Anthony and our recent interactions. No matter how my body responded to his presence, I needed to keep things professional. Ollie meant the world to me, and I refused to jeopardize my being here for him with my inability to keep my dirty thoughts under lock and key. Ollie deserved better than me ogling after his father, no matter how hot and bothered he made me.