5. Aubrey
Chapter 5
Aubrey
R alph Beaumont.
Holy fuck.
He’s here. In Prairie Springs. Claudia’s father has come to take Raine away from me, just like I’ve been petrified about, ever since that stupid, clueless detective left a message for him about Claudia’s accident.
These are my panicked, frenzied thoughts when I notice the top half of a male face—two blazing green eyes topped by a black, knit cap—spying on Raine and me from over my parents’ backyard fence. At the sight, a blood curdling scream lurches from my throat, prompting the man’s eyebrows to shoot straight to the edge of his knit cap.
As the scream leaves my mouth, it occurs to me the man looks quite a bit younger than Ralph Beaumont. Decades younger. Not to mention, he’s quite a bit taller than Claudia’s father, too, as I recall; unless that guy is standing on a step stool behind that wooden fence.
The realization that the stranger isn’t Ralph, after all, is a massive relief. But not a complete get-out-of-jail-free card for my nerves, since he’s still, nonetheless, a complete stranger who’s peeping at Raine and me over a fence. Hopefully, he’s nothing but a lost delivery guy or a neighbor with some wayward mail. But I pick up Raine, just in case, and hold her protectively to me. For all I know, Ralph sent this guy here to threaten me or otherwise try to pry Raine away from me.
“Didn’t mean to scare you,” the man murmurs in a low grumble that confirms he’s not, in fact, standing on a step stool. “Are you Aubrey Capshaw?”
“Who are you?” I ask defensively, squeezing Raine.
The man pauses. And then, on an exhale, he replies, “Caleb Baumgarten.”
My lips part in surprise. Raine’s accidental sperm donor, C-Bomb of Red Card Riot, is standing at my parents’ fence? Under any other circumstance, I’d probably feel a bit starstruck. But knowing he’s the selfish prick who hasn’t given a shit about his child for the past two years, makes disgust, rage, and fear my only possible emotions.
Surely, C-Bomb came here to strong arm me into taking Raine away from Prairie Springs, since that was a term of his agreement with Claudia. But guess what? I didn’t sign that thing, and I’d never sign a similar one. Prairie Springs is my home; and unlike Claudia, I love it here. Plus, C-Bomb’s got absolutely nothing I want, so he’s got zero leverage. I don’t want this man’s money. And I certainly don’t want to have sex with him. He was always Claudia’s celebrity crush, not mine. As this prick is about to find out, all I want is Raine and the freedom to raise her in Prairie Springs with my parents. And without him getting in our way.
“Can you come out here to talk to me?” he asks.
Poor Raine is shaking in my arms, thanks to my blood curdling scream. When the poor kid last heard me screaming, her mommy never came back home. And so, before I reply to the asshole drummer’s request, I hold up a finger to him, my body language telling him to hold on; and then, I put my forehead against Raine’s and whisper calmly that everything is all right.
“Silly Auntie Aubbey stepped on a rock,” I whisper with a smile. Raine’s never been able to pronounce Aubrey correctly, so Claudia and I latched onto her adorable pronunciation. Aubbey. “That’s why I screamed,” I continue. “Not because of that man over there.”
“Who dat man?”
A snarky, vindictive piece of me wishes I could reply, “That’s the asshole who pays an ungodly sum every month not to have you in his life.” But since I can’t say that, I reply, instead, “He’s a good friend of your mommy’s. He came to talk to me about Mommy.”
Raine’s little face perks up. “Mommy coming back?”
Oh, my heart . Even after three weeks, which is a lifetime to a two-year-old, Raine still asks me that question, every single time her mommy’s name is mentioned. Sometimes, unprompted, too.
I stroke her little cheek with my knuckle. “No, love, Mommy’s still in heaven with Grandma.” As Raine frowns, I quickly change the subject. “I bet the brownies have cooled by now. Should we go inside to see? You can eat one and play a game on your iPad, while Auntie Aubbey talks to Mommy’s friend outside.”
Thanks to the promise of brownies and some coveted screen time, Raine instantly forgets all about the scary man behind the fence and begs to go inside and get this show on the road. I motion to the rockstar behind the fence to meet me around the corner at the front door, and the top half of his head disappears.
As I guide Raine toward the house, I glance at my watch. My parents should be home from Dad’s doctor appointment in thirty minutes or so, if the doctor wasn’t running late today, and the last thing I need is for C-Bomb of Red Card Riot, of all people, to be standing at their doorstep when they pull up.
My parents have no idea who fathered Claudia’s little girl. Nobody knows, other than me, C-Bomb, and whoever C-Bomb might have told. So, there’s no telling what kind of warm reception my parents would give the unlikely rockstar in their front yard, if they were to drive up before I’ve shooed him away. Mom is the kind of person who’s never met a stranger, and Dad is a massive music fan who considers Red Card Riot one of his favorite bands. Even on pain killers, which he’s been taking since severely breaking his leg last week, I’m sure Dad would recognize C-Bomb, thanks to his towering frame and famous tattoos.
When I’ve gotten Raine situated with her iPad and a brownie and told her to stay put on the couch until I return, I take a big-girl breath and head to the front door. When I step outside and behold the physicality and charisma, in person, of the man I’ve seen on my computer screen countless times, I feel like I’m getting physically blown back by a massive jet engine.
Holy crap.
Muscles. Ink. Tall. Beard. Scowl. Hot.
As to that last thing, I’m surprised to think it. C-Bomb’s not my fantasy come to life, like he always was for Claudia; but seeing him now, in person, I can definitely understand his worldwide appeal.
The thing Claudia always loved about C-Bomb was the fact that he’s the peacock in his band, despite him being the one sitting behind a drum kit. He’s the one who never wore a shirt in music videos and during performances; the one who changed his hairstyle frequently, going from a mohawk to long hair to a buzz cut in record speed. But to my surprise, the tattooed Viking standing before me now doesn’t look anything like a peacock. More like a deranged, exhausted serial killer on the lam.
“Sorry I scared you,” C-Bomb mutters, his low grumble of a voice perfectly matching his mountain-man appearance. I can’t help noticing C-Bomb’s beard is longer than I’ve seen in photos and videos online. Also, he’s fully covered in tattoos these days, from his neck down to his fingers. Whereas, in the “Shaynee” music video from forever ago, he only had a smattering of ink on his arms.
I clear my throat. “I thought you were a Peeping Tom, C-Bomb.”
“Sorry about that.” He motions to the screen door behind me. “Can we talk inside?”
I cross my arms over my chest. “No. Raine’s in there.”
C-Bomb shifts his weight. “I know. I want to meet my daughter.”
I repress the urge to snort. To scoff. To spit out, “After two years, now you suddenly want to meet your daughter?” But, instead, I bite my tongue and calmly ask, “For what purpose?”
C-Bomb’s chest heaves. “I heard about Claudia. I’m sorry for your loss. For Raine’s loss.” When I say nothing, he shifts the backpack that’s slung over his broad shoulder and looks around nervously. “Hey, can we talk inside? I don’t want to get recognized by a nosey neighbor and have to say no to a fucking selfie right now.”
“I don’t feel comfortable inviting you inside, unless I know why you’re here.”
His jaw tightens. “She’s my daughter. I have a legal right to meet her, whether you like it or not. ”
Fuck, fuck, fuck. For three weeks now, I’ve been having horrible nightmares about Claudia’s father showing up, out of nowhere, to rip Raine away from me, when I should have been having them about this man, all along. “Maybe, maybe not,” I manage to say, sounding a whole lot more confident than I feel. “Either way, I’m sure you’ll agree there’s a time and place for a first meeting, and this isn’t it.”
“Why not? When’s the right time, according to you?”
“All I know is you can’t show up here, out of the blue, after two years of being a deadbeat dad, and?—"
“I’m not a deadbeat . I’ve been paying child support, since day one. Double what any court would have ordered me to pay, plus all Claudia’s medical expenses from the pregnancy and birth. I realize it’s not much better, but I’m not a deadbeat. I’m an absentee father.”
I scoff. “Excuse me if I don’t rush off to polish your Father of the Year trophy.”
“I’m not saying I’m proud of myself. Just saying there’s a difference.”
I roll my eyes. “Okay, well, pat yourself on the back any way you want, if it helps you sleep at night. But the fact remains you can’t just waltz in here and meet Raine, and play daddy for fifteen minutes before disappearing again, mere weeks after she lost her mommy. She still doesn’t completely understand Claudia’s never coming back, C-Bomb. So, I can’t allow you to come here and confuse her into thinking?—”
“Caleb.” When I pause, he adds, “I’m not here as C-Bomb. I’m Caleb Baumgarten, and that kid in there is mine .” His green eyes are blazing. “And I didn’t come here to play daddy for fifteen minutes. I admit I’ve made mistakes in the past. I know that. I regret them. So I’ve come to make things right, as best I can. ”
Panic floods me. What the fuck does that mean? Has this man come to take Raine away from me? I force myself to ask the question I’m not sure I want to know the answer to: “Make things right, how ?”
“I’m her family,” he says, leveling me with hard eyes. “Her father . I convinced myself she was better off without me, when she had her mother. But now that Claudia is gone, I can’t sit by and let a non-family member?—”
“ Non-family member ?” I shriek, anger flashing inside me. “I’m more family to that little girl than you’ll ever be. While you were busy fucking another groupie, you want to know what I was doing, C-Bomb? Holding Claudia’s right hand during Raine’s birth, while her mother held her left.” I’m gathering steam now. “And only a few months after that, I came back and moved my whole life to Seattle to live with Claudia and Raine, for good. I was there for Raine’s first bite of solid food. Her first word, crawl, and step. Her first and second birthdays. And where were you all that time? What were you doing that was so important you couldn’t be there for your baby girl? So, don’t you dare come here and?—"
“Would you calm the fuck down?” he bellows. “Jesus Christ.” He roughs a palm down his face and takes a deep breath. “I didn’t say ‘non-family member’ as fighting words, okay? I said it as a neutral, objective fact. Raine is my blood, not yours. Raine has my genes inside her, not yours. She’s my family, both legally and biologically. So, while I thank and respect you for being an honorary family member to Raine all this time, for helping raise my kid when I was admittedly too big a flop-dick-asshole-loser to do it, the objective fact remains she’s my kid, and I’m not going anywhere, now that I’m here, whether you like it or not.”
I let out a shaky breath and mutter, “If you think telling me to calm the fuck down is going to calm me down, then you’re as stupid as you look.”
C-Bomb tilts his head back, so it feels like he’s speaking to the blue sky above when he grumbles, “Can we please just fast-forward to the part where we talk like adults about a very difficult situation? Or are you too young to understand what being an adult means?”
“Fuck you. I’m more of an adult than you’ve ever been in your entire goddamned life.”
He sighs. “That’s fair.”
“And, no, there’s no fast-forward button. Not when you’ve been a dick-headed deadbeat dad. Oh, sorry, absentee father for two solid years.” I put my hands on my hips and glare at C-Bomb like I’m ready to throw down if he so much as twitches. I’m not normally combative by nature. In fact, I’m usually quite the friendly little peacemaker. But this asshole’s got my momma-bear instincts flaring.
I’m grateful he stepped up financially and without forcing Claudia to go through an exhaustive legal battle to get the money. But there’s no amount of cash that can buy my respect. And I adamantly do not respect a man who preferred to pay an exorbitant amount each month to keep his child firmly out of his life, forever. Seriously, how has this sorry excuse for a man slept a wink over the past two years? How did he not at least feel the desire, even once, to ask Claudia for a fucking photo of his child?
“We can do this the easy way or the hard way,” C-Bomb says evenly, his eyes boring holes into my face. “Talk to me in a civilized manner, or I’ll have no choice but to sick my lawyer on you.”
A soft whimper escapes my throat, and C-Bomb’s features soften, ever so slightly.
“I swear, I didn’t come here to threaten you,” he says quickly, one large palm raised. “I didn’t come to fight. I came here to meet my daughter and work with you, not against you, so she doesn’t wind up in the hands of Ralph Beaumont.”
“ Ralph Beaumont ?” I gasp out. He’s got my full attention now.
C-Bomb gruffly pulls out a piece of paper from his backpack. “His lawyer sent this letter to my lawyer. Can I step forward to give it to you, or will you scream bloody murder again, if I come near you?”
I roll my eyes. “I screamed when I saw you, as anyone would, because you were spying on me like a creeper, C-Bomb.” I march down the porch steps, closing the gap between us. And when we’re on the same level on the walkway, I finally grasp how tall he truly is: a full foot taller than me.
“Call me Caleb,” he says, as he hands the letter to me.
I don’t understand why he cares. I’ve seen countless interviews where the interviewer and even his own bandmates called him C-Bomb, and that’s what Claudia called him, too, even after his dick had been inside her. But whatever. As much as I’d like to continue rankling him, I’m also a firm believer in calling people whatever they’ve asked to be called.
“Fine. Caleb .” I snatch the letter from him and start to read; and with each passing sentence, my heart rate quickens some more. Midway through, I look up, aghast. “Ralph is demanding full custody? We can’t let that happen. He’s a horrible, violent man. Claudia never once let him anywhere near Raine.”
C-Bomb gives me a curt nod. “That’s why I’m here. Finish reading.”
I do as I’m told and find out Ralph thinks a judge would side with C-Bomb over him in a custody battle, since both men have never met Raine; but Ralph isn’t quite as convinced he’d beat me, if push came to shove. His solution? He wants C-Bomb to forge an alliance with him to knock me out of the picture, at which point, Ralph would then take Raine, through a private, side agreement with C-Bomb, under the same terms as C-Bomb’s arrangement with Claudia.
I look up from the letter in my hand, feeling like I’m going to vomit. “The ‘loving arms of her grandfather?’ Caleb, Ralph is a violent sociopath. As a kid, I personally saw him beat the shit out of Claudia’s mother, right in front of Claudia and me, and Claudia said he did it all the time. Please, we can’t let that horrible man?—”
“We won’t. I won’t. That’s what I came to explain to you, Aubrey. I’m not going to let that motherfucker anywhere near my daughter, no matter what.”
I exhale in relief. The fact that he called Raine his daughter should freak me out, by all rights. But in this one specific context, the word choice is more comforting than threatening to me. If C-Bomb thinks of Raine as his daughter, then hopefully that will make him feel that much more inspired to keep Ralph the fuck away from her.
I feel the nonsensical impulse to throw my arms around this mountain of a man and beg him to keep his promise to keep Ralph away from Raine, no matter what. But, instead, I get ahold of myself, cross my arms over my chest, and ask, “How’d Ralph’s lawyer find out you’re Raine’s father? Claudia told me your identity was a huge secret and I could never tell anyone.”
One side of C-Bomb’s mouth hitches up, his implication clear: And yet, Claudia told you.
I wave at the air. “Claudia told me everything and vice versa.” When Caleb smirks, I add, “She trusted me not to tell a single soul about you, not even my parents, and I never did.”
C-Bomb assesses me for a longish beat. “I don’t know how Beaumont figured me out. My lawyer thinks someone from the coroner’s office with access to the paternity test might have told Ralph or the detective in charge of Claudia’s case, who then told Ralph. Either that, or someone from the coroner’s office contacted Ralph for a payout, in exchange for the information. You’d be surprised how many people come out of the woodwork, looking for a payday, when they’ve got dirt on a celebrity with deep pockets.”
“Well, I’m not looking for a payday,” I snap. “The only thing I want is to raise Raine here, in Prairie Springs, with my family.” I look at him pleadingly, but it’s clear from his impassive glare the one thing I want is the one thing I’m not going to get. Not if C-Bomb— Caleb —gets his way.
My spirit sinks. Is Caleb intending to take Raine home with him to wherever he lives? If so, how can I possibly stop him, when there’s no doubt he’s Raine’s father and he’s got all the money in the world to hire the best lawyers? I’m unemployed with about sixteen dollars in my savings account at the moment.
Money has never been plentiful in my family. We do fine. We get by. But Mom only works part-time as a school counselor, and not for a whole lot. And even though dad’s construction company does pretty well for him at times, there’s always dry spells, due to weather and the smallness of our town. There’s only so much work to go around a place like Prairie Springs. Add Dad’s broken leg and medical bills to the mix, and I can’t fathom how we’d be able to hire a lawyer to try to beat Caleb and Ralph in a custody battle .
Caleb rubs the back of his neck before cutting the thick silence between us. “Listen, Aubrey. I’m filing a lawsuit against Ralph in LA.”
“Oh, thank God.”
“And also against you, technically. But only because?—”
“ You’re suing me ?” I scream.
“Would you let me explain? My lawyer says I have to name you as a party, along with Ralph, since you’ve currently got physical custody. But that doesn’t mean we’re enemies, okay? We both want what’s best for Raine.”
“ I’m best for Raine.”
“Would you listen? I want to join forces with you. We’ll both go against Ralph in the lawsuit, together, and tell the judge we’ve agreed to a custody arrangement.”
My heart is thrumming. “What kind of custody arrangement?”
“I’ll get legal custody, since I’m her father, and you’ll get unlimited visitation rights. Forever. My lawyer can explain everything to you in LA. I’m taking Raine back there tomorrow, and I really want you to come with?—”
“You’re taking Raine to LA?” I scream. “ Tomorrow ?”
“And I want you to come with us. I want to hire you to be Raine’s full-time nanny.”
My brain is melting. “Raine doesn’t even know you.”
“Which is why I want you to come with us and be my live-in nanny, at top dollar. Aubrey, I’ll pay you a hundred grand per year to do what you’re already doing for free.” When I stare at him, flabbergasted, he quickly amends, “Okay, fine, one-fifty. That’s way above market. A damned good deal, especially since I’m asking you to keep doing something you’d already be doing, anyway.”
“But not in LA!” My head is spinning. I need a lawyer. I need my parents. I feel sick. “I’m not Raine’s nanny ,” I spit out, like the word is a slur. “I’m her Auntie Aubbey. Her family . She loves and trusts me. My parents, too. She calls them Grammy and Pop-Pop.”
Caleb exhales. “Okay, so we’ll bring your parents to LA, too. I’ve got a huge house with plenty of room for everyone.”
I stare at him, slack-jawed. Is he insane or just stupid?
“My parents have a home here. A life. Jobs . They can’t just pick up and leave because Mr. Rockstar sauntered into town and dangled some cash in front of their noses.” I shake my head. “Raine’s having nightmares every night and her potty training has regressed. She’s traumatized. And now you want to drag her to a new place again, because you can’t be inconvenienced to get to know her for a little while on her home turf, first?”
He twists his mouth. “You want me to stay here in Prairie Springs?”
“Of course. Obviously. It’s the right thing to do.”
He shifts his position and scratches his tattooed arm. “For how long?”
I’m excited he’s asked the question. It gives me hope. “Three or four months, at least. While you’re here, you can visit her every day. Get to know her. Earn her trust. And if things are going well in a few months, if you still want full custody of her, then I’ll come to LA with you, as Raine’s nanny, and help her get settled with you there. But only if you swear on a stack of bibles that, no matter what, you’ll always give me unlimited access to her. Forever.”
He twists his mouth. “That timeline’s not going to work for me. My lawyer said the custody hearing in LA will probably happen in a month or so.”
My eyes widen. “A month ?”
“I understand what you’re saying, though. It probably makes sense to transition Raine a bit more slowly than I was initially thinking.”
Ya think? “Caleb, listen, my father is injured. He broke his leg badly last week, so he can’t travel for a while, and Raine adores him. If you saw them together, you’d never want to take her away from him. Not now, at least. Please . This isn’t about you or me. It’s about Raine. She’s got a family here. A new life. Stability, when she needs it most.”
As I wring my hands, Caleb ponders my plea for an eternal moment.
Finally, he exhales and says, “I’ll stay in Prairie Springs until it’s time for us to leave for the custody hearing in LA. That way, Raine can get to know me before then, on her home turf, surrounded by people she loves and trusts.”
I exhale an ocean of relief. It’s not the length of time I begged him for; but at least it’s better than Caleb forcing Raine to come with him to LA tomorrow . Plus, a lot can happen in a month. Maybe, when Caleb learns what parenthood actually entails, how hard and thankless the job can be at times, he’ll realize he’s more than happy to leave Raine with me in Prairie Springs, after all, leaving him free to visit his daughter, whenever the mood strikes him.
Also, by the time the custody hearing rolls around, if I’m not thoroughly convinced Caleb is good for Raine, whether as her full-time father or a regular visitor, I’ll be free to tell the judge my honest feelings then, no matter what Caleb currently thinks I’m going to say on his behalf at the hearing.
“Okay,” I say, nodding decisively. “Thank you for changing your plans for Raine’s sake.”
“I only want what’s best for her.” He begins to say more, but before he gets his next words out, his gaze shifts sharply to a spot behind me and to my left. Instantly, the hardness in Caleb’s green eyes vanishes, replaced by something I’d call wonder and awe .
Fuck. I turn around, and, as suspected, Raine is standing behind the screen door, smashing her little face against it like she always does, so her nose rides up and makes her look like Peppa Pig.
“Auntie Aubbey?” Raine squeaks out. “All done.”
“Okay, honey. I’ll be right in.”
I turn back around to address Caleb, but he’s fixated on Raine and practically vibrating with excitement.
“Hello, Raine,” Caleb coos softly, his deep voice quavering. “I’m Caleb. It’s really great to meet you.”