23. Caleb
Chapter 23
Caleb
I lay Aubrey down on the couch and begin furiously peeling off her clothes. “I’ve been drooling over your perfect tits all day,” I confess, as I toss her crop top to the floor. To emphasize my point, I lean in and suck on a peaked nipple, and she moans softly and writhes at the sensation.
After devouring both Aubrey’s tits with fervor, I slide off her shorts, murmuring about how much I’ve been dying to eat her pussy again. “Hate me if you want, if it gets you off, but nobody can give you orgasms like I can.”
“I don’t hate you,” she whispers hoarsely, her eyes closed and her head slung back. “I’m just . . . Let’s not talk.”
“Fine with me.”
I’ve got her naked now, so I get myself the same way, and then kneel on the floor in between her bare thighs, eager to bury my face in her contraband pussy.
After kissing her inner thighs, I go after her sweet spot like a man on death row scarfing down his last meal. And only a few minutes later, I’ve got Aubrey coming hard against my mouth and fingers, even more forcefully than last night.
“The condoms are in my room,” I gasp out. I rise from my knees, breathing hard, and stare down at her naked, sweaty figure in the moonlight. “Stay put, baby, and I’ll?—”
“I put a condom in the pocket of my shorts.” She points to the crumpled item of clothing on the floor. “I had a feeling we might not make it to your bedroom.”
Euphoria slams into me. All day, I’ve been wondering if she wants me the way I want her. If my torture is a mutual thing. But now I know: no matter how much she second-guesses me or pushes me away, no matter how much she tries to play it off like she could take me or leave me, the truth is she can’t resist me, any more than I can resist her.
Panting, I grab the condom and get myself covered in record speed. And by the time I’m all wrapped up and ready to go, Aubrey’s bent over the back of the couch, like she’s offering her backside to me on a silver platter.
“Do it like this,” she purrs, looking at me seductively. “I want it hard.”
It wouldn’t have occurred to me to fuck Aubrey from behind, since that’s the sexual position I’ve always used when fucking a stranger. A groupie. A fan. A reporter who’s hit on me. Basically, anyone I’ll never see again who’s made it abundantly clear they’re down to fuck. Why would I want to fuck Aubrey like this, when all I want to do is look into her big, brown eyes and kiss her lips, while my body impales hers? I’m already addicted to seeing Aubrey’s “O” face. It’s better than any drug or booze. And I can’t see it, if she’s faced away while she comes.
“Come on, C-Bomb ,” Aubrey coos. “Fuck me hard like this.”
I’m confused. Mere minutes ago, Aubrey said she had no desire to fuck C-Bomb , only Caleb. But now she’s using that nickname while offering her naked ass to me? Make it make sense.
It occurs to me I’ve got a split-second to make this decision, or she’s going to pull away. Revoke her offer. Feel rejected. So, I quickly decide, fuck it. I’ll fuck Aubrey Capshaw any way I can get her.
“Whatever you want, A-Bomb ,” I murmur. When she snickers, I add, “You’re hotter than an atomic bomb, baby.” I stride to her, my cock leading the way, and press myself into her while kissing her neck and groping her tits from behind. After a bit, I reach around and finger her, and when she’s as wet and ready for me as can be, I grab her hip with one hand while gently gripping the back of her hair with the other, and sink my cock deep, deep, deep inside her.
As my body fills hers, all the fucking way, Aubrey cries out; and as I begin to fuck her without mercy, she groans loudly, prompting me to move my hand from her hair to her mouth to stifle all forthcoming noises. She asked for hard, so hard is what I give her. Until, eventually, we’re going at it with so much animalistic fury, I have to grip Aubrey’s hips with two hands to keep our pounding, slapping rhythm.
Looking at the back of her head isn’t what I want, though, And I can’t pretend otherwise. Maybe one day, I’ll get to a point where I’m so sure of our connection, I’ll enjoy switching things up and using her body like this. Like she’s just another groupie. But for now, it’s the last thing I want, honestly. I don’t want a warm body; I want Aubrey. I don’t the back of her head; I want Aubrey’s beautiful face. Her deep brown eyes lighting a fire inside me, the likes of which I’ve never felt before.
“Not like this,” I gasp out, as clarity slams into me. I love Aubrey Capshaw. Holy fucking shit. I love this woman. I’m not falling for her. I’m already there. And not because of our shared love for Raine. Not because I’m stuck with her in this house. But because she makes me feel with my whole heart, not only a mere fraction of it, for the first fucking time in my whole life.
“I need to see your face,” I grit out. “I need to kiss you, baby. Turn around.” Without waiting for her to comply, I pull out and abruptly turn Aubrey’s lithe body around to face me; and the sight of her flushed face and sparkling eyes almost brings me to my knees. And not as a bit this time.
I slide my hands to her rosy cheeks, pressing the tip of my straining cock into her belly, and kiss her with more hunger than I’ve ever felt for anyone in my life. This woman has awakened something inside me. She makes me want to be a better man. Not only for Raine. Not only for myself. But to be worthy of her.
As a firestorm of hunger engulfs me, I lift Aubrey up and set her onto the back of the couch. When she’s perfectly aligned to receive me, I cradle her back in my forearms and fuck her with rhythmic, deep, slow thrusts, kissing her voraciously as I fuck her. Murmuring into her ear about how good she feels. And to my extreme pleasure, Aubrey gets wetter and wetter with each slow thrust, until she’s audibly sloshing with each movement of my cock. She plainly enjoyed getting fucked from behind like a groupie earlier, but this is different. I can feel it. She’s enraptured now. Euphoric. Ecstatic. Transported. The same as me.
Without warning, Aubrey lets out a low keening whimper, followed by a guttural groan, and my eyes roll back into my head.
As she comes with my cock buried deep inside her, balls deep, the sensation of her body milking mine is too much for me to withstand. I’m only human, after all, no matter what the internet says about me. I snap my hips forward forcefully, impaling her violently with the full length of me, and come with a loud groan. With my orgasm complete, I slide a hand to her extended throat and kiss her jawline, her cheek, her temple, reveling in her. Savoring the moment. Claiming Aubrey Capshaw as mine, all mine.
Sadly, the time for me to pull out and disentangle my body from hers arrives, far too soon. So, we slide onto the couch and cuddle with our naked limbs intertwined, staring at the moonlit lake through the large windows installed by Grandpa at some point over the past fifteen years.
“That was even better than last night,” Aubrey whispers. “I didn’t think that was possible.”
I caress her back. “Why’d you call me C-Bomb when you asked me to fuck you? On the deck, you said you don’t want to fuck C-Bomb. I’m confused.”
She sighs. “I’m sorry. That was cruel of me.”
“I wouldn’t say cruel. Just confusing.”
“No, trust me, it was cruel. A defense mechanism. A way to push you away and punish myself.”
“ Punish yourself? For what ?”
Aubrey sighs again. “All day, I’ve been struggling with something, Caleb. Waging a tug of war inside my head about you.”
I hold my breath. “What’d I do?”
“Nothing. It’s all in my head. I wanted you so much last night, I convinced myself it didn’t matter that you’d already slept with my best friend. But today, I couldn’t stop feeling guilty about what I did.”
“ Guilty ?”
“For stealing my best friend’s crush.”
It’s the last thing I expected to hear. Absolute horseshit .
“Claudia always had a huge crush on you,” Aubrey explains. “Even after she had sex with you. In fact, her crush only got bigger after that.”
Jesus Christ. No wonder Aubrey’s been wigging out today, if this is the kind of batshit-crazy bullshit she’s been thinking about.I put my finger underneath her chin. “Aubrey, listen to me. Claudia didn’t know me. She had a crush on an idea. On C-Bomb . A fantasy she’d built up in her head. And I didn’t know her, either. To me, she was just another pretty face. A groupie who threw herself at me, and I accepted the invitation.”
“How do you know she threw herself at you, if you don’t even remember having sex with her?”
“Because I know I never have sex with anyone, especially on tour, unless it goes down that way.” Aubrey looks skeptical. “It’s true. Whether I’m high, drunk, or sober, I always know not to put myself in a position where someone can claim there was any kind of coercion or persuasion. I’m a high-profile person, Aubrey. I’d rather party with my friends after a show or go back to my room and drink myself into oblivion than mess around with anyone who might claim I did something wrong later on. Unless someone basically throws themselves at me—and I’m talking about them telling me, clearly, they want to fuck me—then I’m never gonna do it.”
Aubrey considers that for a long moment. “Your life sounds really lonely.”
It’s an understatement. “All I’m saying is you’ve got nothing to feel guilty about. No fucking way.”
Aubrey looks out at the lake. “If Claudia were here, I think she’d be furious with me for having sex with you.”
“She’s not here. And if she were, she’d have no claim on me. ”
“I’m her best friend, though. There’s this thing called girl code. And I’ve broken it.”
I never saw this coming. Not in a million years. Does this mean Aubrey might put an end to things between us because I fucked someone else, almost three years ago—someone who’s now dead—and I don’t even remember doing it?
I look down at my hands, feeling unexpectedly emotional. For the first time in so long, I actually feel something; and now my past is going to fuck it up for me? “Claudia had sex with my body, once,” I whisper. “Almost three years ago.” I look up. “But you’re the first person to have sex with me , the real me, in almost fifteen years.”
Her lips part in surprise.
“Aubrey, you’re the first person in a very long time to actually make me feel something, and I’d honestly be heartbroken if a few minutes with Claudia, a woman who wanted me as a bucket list item, winds up fucking up my chances with you.”
Aubrey holds eye contact, her chest heaving. “Claudia said you fucked her from behind and never kissed her. That’s why I asked you to do it that way. I wanted to experience you, the same way she did. I wanted to understand how she felt with you, compared to the way I did last night. I wanted to see if I could feel a difference.”
“And?”
Her chest heaves, but she says nothing.
“Look,” I say. “No matter what position I fuck you in, you’re always gonna be Aubrey, and I’m always gonna be Caleb. Which means, no matter what, it’s always gonna be different than anything and everything that’s come before. For me, anyway. That’s the truth.” I didn’t mean to admit all that to her. Didn’t mean to show my cards, this quickly. But something inside me knows, without a doubt, if I don’t fight for Aubrey in this moment, if I don’t tell her the truth about how I’m feeling, I’m going to lose her forever.
“Tell me,” I whisper. “Please, Aubrey. What was the result of your little experiment? Was there a difference when I fucked you from behind?”
She swallows hard. “A big difference. When you were facing me, when you kissed me and looked into my eyes, I felt . . . electricity. Like you truly wanted me . Not just sex.”
I exhale with relief. “I do want you. I feel addicted to you.” I also dream about her. Ache for her. Love her. But the rest, I couldn’t possibly say out loud. “If you don’t want me,” I add, “if you’re too hung up on what happened between Claudia and me to?—”
“No, I do want you,” she says, placing a palm on my cheek. “I feel addicted, too. That’s why I’ve been feeling so guilty. If I didn’t feel anything for you, I wouldn’t feel this conflicted.”
I let out a long breath. “The past is the past. We can’t change it, so let’s not dwell on it.”
She chews her lip and nods.
“Will you do me a favor? Don’t call me C-Bomb during sex. Everyone calls me that, even my best friends, so feel free to call me that, any other time. Just not during sex.”
Nodding, she leans down and kisses me, but abruptly pulls back. “Will you do me a favor, too? Please, call me A-Bomb during sex, as much as possible.” She giggles. “That was so fucking hot.”
I laugh with her. “Deal.”
And just like that, I feel like we’ve had a breakthrough, Aubrey and me. A meeting of the minds. Without needing to say it out loud, it’s now settled we’re not drawn to each other merely because we’re stuck together, anyway. We’re not a fire storm, simply because our bodies happen to fit together like they were made for each other. Or because of our shared love of Raine. No, something bigger is at play here. Something that might alter the course of my life, forever, if I don’t fuck it up. The only question, at least in my mind, is whether I’m even capable of not fucking it up.