Finding Home

24. Aubrey

Chapter 24

Aubrey

W arm wind is whipping my hair.

Loud music is blaring.

Caleb and I are driving my father’s truck down I-90 toward the airport in Billings, on our way to pick up Caleb’s sister, Miranda. And I can’t remember the last time I felt this happy. This alive. This . . . in love.

A moment ago, Caleb put on a song by a band called Pink Floyd—something he really wanted me to hear—and it’s emphatically not my jam. But even the weird music can’t dampen my mood. I’m floating on a cloud today. Eager to meet Caleb’s sister. Thrilled to celebrate the official completion of Caleb’s rehab tonight. But most of all, I’m excited that Caleb and I have had so much fun together over the past weeks, both as a trio with Raine and also as a passionate duo by night. I haven’t told Caleb this, but the weeks I’ve spent with him and Raine at the lake house have been the best of my life. Even better than the time I spent in Seattle with Claudia, and that felt like heaven on earth.

I look over at Caleb’s profile as he drives Dad’s big truck. He’s got one hand on the steering wheel and the other clasped loosely with mine. He’s singing along to the weird song and looking gorgeous while doing it.

Butterflies whoosh into my belly. My heart goes pitter-pat.

We haven’t labeled this thing we’ve been doing for weeks now. I think we both realize that wouldn’t be wise, until we know the outcome of the custody hearing next week. But secretly, I already know I’ve fallen in love with Caleb. How could I not?

Caleb’s phone buzzes and he looks over at it. “Miranda’s landed.”

“I can’t wait to meet her.”

“She said the same thing about you.”

I pick at a little piece of fuzz on my jeans. “I know you’re not technically done with rehab until tonight, but if you want to take your sister for a walk around the lake when we get back, I’ll bend the rules and let her babysit you for a while.”

Caleb rolls his eyes, making me laugh.

“That won’t be necessary. But thanks.”

“Seriously, though, I won’t be offended, if you want to ditch me for a while. After all the time you’ve been forced to spend with me, I’m sure you’re chomping at the bit to finally get some time away from me. While your sister is visiting, I’m sure you’ll want to spend some alone time with her and Raine. Or maybe just the two of you. Whatever you want to do, it’s great with me.”

Caleb looks over at me like I’ve got three heads, and I await his reply with bated breath. I’ve grown to love our forced living arrangement; honestly, I’m sad it’s ending. Yes, I’m thrilled for Caleb to complete his rehab requirement, and I fully understand, logically, that human beings need solitude and independence at times. But at this point, I fear I’m physically addicted to this man’s constant physical presence, and I’m not quite sure how I’m going to handle being away from him for hours or days at a time. Sure, I’ll still be Raine’s nanny for the foreseeable future. Technically. Assuming things go well at the hearing. So, I’ll still be in close proximity with Caleb for that reason. But with the end of rehab, and the upcoming hearing in LA, I’m beginning to feel anxious about what our future together might look like.

Caleb adjusts his grip on the steering wheel. “My sister is bringing my mom’s ashes for us to scatter on the lake. So, we’ll definitely go off to do that alone. I might also want to go for a walk or run on my own, now and again, without needing to worry about your short little legs keeping up with me.” He stifles a grin. “But if I’m being honest, I don’t feel the need or desire to change our living arrangement at all.”

My heart flutters. “Oh.”

“Yeah, we’ll no longer be required to be stuck like glue after tonight . . .” Caleb’s green eyes fine mine. “But, honestly, I don’t feel the urge to get myself. . . unstuck . . . any time soon.”

Elation floods me. “I don’t feel the urge to get myself unstuck, either. I like being stuck to you. I’d miss you, if you were gone too long.”

A smile splits Caleb’s rugged face. “Yeah?”

I blush. “Yeah.”

“Okay, then, sounds like we’re in agreement to keep everything pretty much the same.”

“Sounds like it,” I agree, even though I want to squeal and hoot with glee.

“Cool. ”

“Cool.”

We share a huge, goofy, blushing smile, and then ride in thick, electrified, giddy silence for the next several minutes.

Two uneventful songs pass on Caleb’s “Songs Aubrey Needs to Hear” Playlist, but when the third one begins, and the lead singer starts singing, I gasp out, “Led Zeppelin!”

“Look at you! You’re getting good at recognizing them now. This is a top favorite of theirs.”

I pause to listen. “What’s it called?”

A deep crimson overtakes Caleb’s face. “‘All of my Love.’” After the words leave his mouth, he returns to the road ahead of him in a way that feels forced and unnatural. Like he’s actively not looking at me. Am I imagining that . . . and also the blush that’s still consuming his features?

“I can see why you love this band so much,” I say. “Every song slays.”

“They’re the best band, ever.”

“Not RCR?”

Caleb scoffs. “My band isn’t even in the top 100 of the best bands, ever.”

“I’m sure a large segment of your fanbase would disagree.”

“If so, they haven’t educated themselves on the history of rock ‘n’ roll.”

I smile to myself. After weeks under Caleb’s passionate tutelage about music, I’ve got a whole new appreciation for rock; and to his credit, Caleb’s learned to appreciate my pop-girlie favorites, too. Most of them, anyway.

As the song blares, I glance out my side of the truck and notice a minivan in the next lane. Its back is stuffed to the gills with little kids; its front is occupied by a young, nerdy man and a cute woman in glasses.

All of a sudden, I find myself imagining Caleb and me sitting in the front of that minivan, driving a car-full of kids. Caleb and me, living the rest of our lives, exactly as we’ve been doing these past weeks. Together. As a real family.

That’s not what we’ve been calling ourselves, obviously. A family. But isn’t that what we’ve become? I’d say yes, without a doubt, if only we didn’t have the uncertainty of the custody hearing looming.

Depending on what happens in court, this fairytale family we’ve been creating— cosplaying ?—might disappear in the blink of an eye. The truth is, no matter how real this all feels, or how intense my feelings for Caleb have grown, it’s still distinctly possible Caleb might blame me—and therefore drop me like a hot potato—if things don’t wind up going his way at the hearing. I take a deep breath and remind myself to remember that.