Finding Home in Hartfell (Hartfell Village #1)

Chapter Twenty

Oh dear gosh, what was going on in her head? Pippa groaned, clutching it with both hands to see if she could hold it steady, not daring to move any other part of her body. A replay of dancing in the garden and whipping off her dress in front of Gil before he carried her up to bed was like a horror movie on a loop in her mind.

She moaned, gingerly turning her head to see that she’d not quite finished the pint of water he’d brought her last night. She inched towards it and, holding the glass, eased into a sitting position. The sight of her underwear on the floor wasn’t helpful. The metaphor was all wrong, as though those two abandoned items were suggesting something she wanted and yet had never taken place.

Even with a blinding headache she knew he’d been wrong about one thing: she remembered every word from last night. She whimpered again as she returned the glass and covered her face with trembling hands, as though that would be enough to erase her embarrassment. She couldn’t forget his arms tight around her, his wet shirt draped over her, bare skin against bare skin. His discomfort in her room, the confession he’d refused to give her until right before he’d left and burned those final words on her heart.

And as much as she wanted to, she couldn’t stay in bed indefinitely, she was due in the surgery, and it would take Gil twice as long to process clients without her. She tentatively swung her legs out of bed, pulling a face at the irony of worrying about him coping on his own. She managed to avoid the dressing table mirror and the three hungover versions of herself; she already had a picture in her mind and was more than happy to avoid the reality.

Even the dodgy shower felt heavenly and downstairs she was relieved to find Lola and Gil already gone. He’d scrawled a note to say he’d fed Maud and let her out as well. Pippa forced down a piece of toast with tea before tottering across the yard to take care of Posy. Dancing in the rain might have lifted her mood but now she ached all over and her head still felt as though footballs were being booted around inside it. After Posy had finished breakfast, Pippa put her headcollar on and led her to the paddock, Maud skipping beside her. She’d deal with the dirty bed in the stable later, she simply couldn’t face it right now.

She was in the kitchen at the vets, trying to remember how the coffee machine worked, when she heard Gil’s consulting room door open. She was hyper aware of every sound, his approaching presence was a tremor on her skin, the punch in her pulse and bright colour stinging her face. She greeted Lola cautiously, unable to bend any lower without setting off a rocket in her head.

‘Morning. Looks like a full list.’ His voice was steady, but she couldn’t even look at him, not yet. ‘You okay?’

‘Mmm.’ Pippa gulped, battling to keep this practical, professional, but there was only one thing she wanted, needed , to know.

‘I just picked up a call. Got a collie coming in with a gash on its leg. I said I’d see them first. That okay with you?’

‘Of course,’ she said. ‘Coffee?’

‘Please.’

Dare she ask, find out the truth of his words in her room last night? What if he laughed it off and told her he hadn’t meant any of it? But better that and knowing than always wondering. She was aware of him beside her, putting car keys down, one hand close to hers. Her mind caught again on him covering her to protect what little modesty she’d had left, the brush of his bare chest against hers, and she couldn’t wait another minute.

‘Did you mean it?’ Her voice was hollow, emptied of everything but desire to know the truth.

‘About the coffee?’ Gil’s quick laugh seemed forced. ‘Totally.’

‘Not that.’ Pippa drew in a deep breath, summoning her courage. ‘What you said last night. Right before you left my room.’

Her question became more weighted with every second crawling by. She tried to brace herself, physically as well as emotionally, for his brush off. Ready for him to laugh again, tell her she was a fool and of course he hadn’t meant it.

‘Pippa…’

‘Just tell me.’

‘Yes. Every word.’ His own voice was rough, and she heard the honesty in it. The admission he’d tried to hold onto and couldn’t, the reality he’d hoped to keep on denying, just like her.

Breath escaped in one slow exhale, and she clung to the understanding that he felt the same for a few moments more. Relief was easing the tension in her shoulders and she slid one finger over his, the sound of his own breath catching giving her confidence, sending away the nerves and igniting a fire that blazed across her skin. Her aching head and fears that she’d made a fool of herself were gone, banished by this first, exquisite touch.

Gil’s eyes were hitched to hers and his hands went to her shoulders, turning her to face him and letting his gaze drift to her mouth. Her lips parted as he cupped her cheeks, lowering his head to hers. She closed the distance between them and curled her body into his, winding her arms around his neck.

‘Put her down,’ a voice boomed irritably. ‘It’s far too early for that sort of thing.’

‘Dorothy!’ Pippa sprang back, face scarlet and heart clattering as she pressed herself against the worktop. She caught Gil’s wry smile and the promise in his eyes, that they’d find another moment. ‘What are you doing here?’

‘What do you think I’m doing here? Probably not the same as you, from the look of things. Got a stray, that’s what.’ Dorothy was behind the counter and gently rattled a cardboard box. ‘Ferret, a jill – that’s a female, if you’re wondering – left outside my door last night. Can you give it the once over, Gil, make sure it’s all right before I set about finding out where it belongs? Think it might’ve cut itself, but I can’t keep hold of the little bugger long enough to find out. Need another pair of hands.’

Pippa had already caught the smell of the ferret and nearly retched. It was way too much after last night’s shenanigans in the garden and the remnants of a hangover. Still dazed by Gil’s revelation and those few moments alone with him, she tried to think back to what she’d been doing before. Making coffee, that was it. And clients – more would be arriving any minute.

‘Go through, there’s no one here yet.’ He pointed to the consulting room and Dorothy marched off with her stinky patient. He turned back to Pippa, and she wasn’t sure she’d ever get used to him looking at her this way. ‘Can we continue this later?’

‘I hope so. Dorothy’s timing was terrible.’

‘For sure.’ He squeezed her hand and disappeared into his consulting room just as the client with the injured collie appeared. Pippa offered a greeting and booked them onto the system, her mind caught on when she and Gil would find more time alone.

Dorothy was back with the ferret in a few minutes and Pippa didn’t bother asking for payment; she knew Gil’s aunt had a long-standing arrangement of invoicing with the practice. Dorothy nodded, and at the door she paused and gave Pippa a look that could’ve stripped paint.

‘I know you’ll say this is none of my business and quite right too,’ she said firmly. ‘Don’t want to see him get hurt, that’s all.’

‘Neither do I, Dorothy, I assure you.’

‘Good.’ She eyed Pippa beadily. ‘Then you’ll tell that pipsqueak land agent to bugger off and do the right thing.’

‘And what do you mean by that?’

‘Ask your father,’ was all Dorothy said. Then she was gone, and Pippa was relieved to see the back of her as much as the ferret.

It was a busy morning of consultations and she dealt with clients and their pets with quiet efficiency. Harriet had uploaded some images to the family group chat, and Pippa was thrilled she was having so much fun. Unusually, Gil left his room after each appointment and she felt herself lighting up at every look, the brush of his hand on hers, shoulder bumping shoulder as he bent to examine something on the screen. Once the last client and patient had left, Pippa closed down the system and he reappeared.

‘Hey.’ He grinned at her as Lola ambled over and Maud rushed to follow. He made a fuss of both dogs, staring up at him adoringly. ‘I’m heading into town. Got some tests to run in the lab and a shedload of paperwork to catch up on.’

‘Okay. Hope you get through it.’ Pippa’s phone lit up and she smiled at the daily message from Harriet reminding her it was time that Posy was returned to her stable. ‘So I’ll see you later, then?’ She hadn’t meant to make it a question but he was nodding.

‘I hope so.’ Maud had returned to her bed, but Lola was at his heels, expecting to go with him. ‘Anything you’d like to do?’

‘Er, well, maybe we could have dinner?’ Was he expecting a more assured reply, something other than a meal, seeing as they’d shared dinner before. But tonight it would be different. Their relationship was altering again since the admission of their feelings, bending with their desires, and changing the landscape of her life in Hartfell. ‘What would you like to do?’

‘I thought maybe we could try out your birthday present.’ His smile was a lazy one and for a moment her mind was blank, sluggish after the champagne.

‘Oh! You mean the hot tub?’

‘I do.’ He spoke those two short words very slowly and longing was already curling in her stomach.

‘But I didn’t bring anything to wear in a pool.’

‘Oh, Pippa.’ Gil shook his head as he laughed. ‘You’re not very rock and roll, are you?’

‘No,’ she replied in a small voice. ‘That’s my dad’s department. He’s quite rock and roll enough for the both of us.’

‘And if it was Dave Grohl suggesting it?’ Gil’s grin was wicked, and she was wide-eyed.

‘I’d run a mile,’ she said, aghast. ‘I’ll always love Dave but there are some things that don’t belong in the real world, and him and me in a hot tub is one of them.’

‘So are you going to run a mile from me?’ Gil’s phone was ringing, and the seconds lengthened as they stared across the room. Her reply was more of a promise as she slowly shook her head.

Pippa spent the afternoon online in the practice, searching out local history before taking Maud for a short walk. Back in the house, she heard the Land Rover pulling into the yard at the same moment the puppy leapt excitedly from her bed, wagging her tail with glee when the door opened and Lola ran in, followed shortly by Gil.

‘Hi.’

‘Hi,’ she replied, smiling at him unable to take another step without greeting Maud. He crouched down, gently preventing her from clambering onto his lap. ‘How was your day?’ She’d be offering to make him a gin and tonic next and fetching slippers, not that he had any. Way to go, Pippa, she told herself crossly. She’d wondered about waiting for him in the hot tub and had changed her mind about six times.

‘Yeah, fine. Yours?’ Gil was slowly walking towards her. She’d been imagining this moment all day and now it was here her confidence was threatening to do a runner.

‘Good.’ Desire was a swift kick in her stomach as she remembered his hands on her face this morning, the exact moment she’d known he was going to kiss her before Dorothy had barged in. She couldn’t forget the press of his body in the field after chasing Posy; the way he’d murmured her name.

‘I’m really sorry, but I’ve got to go to a call.’ He took her hand and her expectation dissolved in a rush of disappointment. His gaze flickered over the wonky table set for two, the curry she’d been cooking on the range. ‘It’s a calving and I could be a while. Picked it up on the way back.’

‘That’s okay. I understand.’ She held onto her frustration, knowing it wasn’t his fault.

‘Come with me,’ he said quickly, fingers tightening on hers. ‘Why not? The dogs can wait in the car, and we can spend a bit more time together.’

‘Are you sure? I’d need to get changed but I don’t want to hold you up.’

‘Five minutes long enough?’

They were in the Land Rover and speeding out into the night shortly after, the dogs in the back excited to be going on this extra adventure. Gil quickly ran her through all he knew from the brief call.

‘It’s a heifer, first time calving. The farmer’s a longstanding client and it’s his son who runs things now, but he’s had to go out. The heifer wasn’t due for a few days so there was no reason to be concerned until she went into labour earlier and it stopped progressing.’

They parked in a farmyard high on the fell thirty-five minutes later and up here Pippa needed her coat in the cool evening air, realising she’d forgotten her wellies in the rush. Gil pulled on boots tucked into waterproof trousers and a matching top. He collected a box from the boot, and she was beside him as they strode into a byre. She’d seen him in professional mode before but this time there was an urgency amongst his usual calm around patients.

‘Hey Jim, how’s she doing?’

‘Now then, Gil, I’m glad you’re ’ere.’ A tiny, elderly man with the largest hands she’d ever seen on such a frame was leaning against the metal bars of a large pen. Inside, a cow was standing knee deep in thick straw, birth fluids trailing from beneath her tail. ‘I’ve ’ad a feel an’ it’s a big ’un. I’ll never be able to pull it out on me own, needs a fella like you.’ He nodded a hello at Pippa, and she smiled as Gil opened the gate and approached the cow, who to her looked enormous. ‘You a vet too?’ Jim asked, propping a foot in dark boots on the lowest bar.

‘Me?’ She laughed nervously. ‘Sorry no, I’m just here to…’ What, she wondered? She’d be no use here and the best thing she could do would be to stay out of everyone’s way.

‘Righto. Still, you’re another pair of ’ands.’ Jim followed Gil into the pen and clanged the gate shut. ‘I’ll tie ’er up for you, Gil, she’s quiet enough but it’ll ’elp if she gets any ideas like.’ He slipped a rope halter onto the heifer and wound it firmly around a thick metal bar. He was so small, she wondered he could see over the cow, never mind try and hold it steady.

She stared, fascinated, as the farmer held the tail out of the way and Gil rolled up his sleeve almost to his shoulder, carefully inserting his arm into the cow.

He frowned. ‘Yeah, it is a big calf and it’s not going to come out this way.’ He leaned into the cow as he continued the examination, and she mooed crossly and tried to shake her tail. Pippa couldn’t blame her, she didn’t imagine it was an enjoyable experience. ‘She’s pretty narrow and the cervix is tight. If we leave it much longer, we’ll be putting them both at risk as she’s not progressing. I think the calf might still be alive.’

‘Side door, then, is it?’ Jim scratched his head thoughtfully. ‘Thought it might be.’

‘I’m afraid so.’ Gil removed his arm, wiping it down as he looked at Pippa. ‘Can you help me bring some stuff from the car? A byre’s never ideal for surgery but it needs to be as sterile as I can make it.’

‘Of course.’ She helped carry in an array of clean equipment and he covered a bale of straw with a plastic sheet and laid everything out. He sterilized his arm very thoroughly with the help of the bucket of hot water Jim had fetched, and then clipped a patch of hair from the heifer’s back, injecting her first with local anaesthetic so she wouldn’t feel the nerve block going in. Then he clipped another wide, long space on her flank and thoroughly disinfected it before injecting her again, reassuring Jim that she’d be comfortable and pain free.

The cow was still tied up and Pippa could see a dark foot poking beneath her tail as she contracted, still trying and unable to push the calf out naturally. Gil made a neat incision in her flank with a scalpel, and she was transfixed as he continued. Then his arm was inside, feeling for the calf.

‘Got a back leg,’ he muttered, bending close and sliding both arms in. It looked incredibly invasive, but the cow was mostly oblivious and clearly not in pain as he felt his way around. ‘And another.’

He started to pull, manoeuvring both legs and hauling the calf out backwards whilst Jim hovered anxiously. Pippa didn’t realise she was clutching her hands together in hope that the calf was still alive until it slipped free and crashed steaming and soaking to the straw. Jim bent down awkwardly, trying to clean the fluids from its nose and mouth.

‘Is it breathing?’ Gil was still working on the cow, and he looked at the calf.

‘Not yet, lad. Not goin’ far as I can tell.’

‘Pippa, quick.’ Gil threw her a glance. ‘Help Jim clear those fluids and stick a piece of straw up its nose, see if you can make it sneeze.’

She didn’t need asking twice, surprised by the rush of emotion at witnessing the miracle of birth. She slipped through the gate and was on her knees to stick a piece of straw up the calf’s nostrils as Jim rubbed its body, praying this beautiful new baby would make it. The calf spluttered, once, twice, and shook its head, ears flapping. Her hand went to its chest, and she felt the heartbeat against her fingers.

‘It’s goin’ now.’ Jim beamed at Pippa. ‘Well done, lass. Thanks for your ’elp.’

‘Brilliant. You did great, Pippa.’ Gil’s grin was huge as he continued the surgery, and she felt the shared triumph dart between them, the two lives he’d saved. ‘Jim, see if you can fold the front legs underneath, sit it on its chest. It’ll help relieve the pressure on its lungs.’

Pippa was still on her knees, awed by the sight of new life. The calf was a beautiful grey and white, a pretty face emerging as it came to, covered in straw and wriggling. Jim helped her fold it into the position Gil had suggested.

‘A bonny heifer. Grand, that’ll do.’

Once Gil had finished with the cow, a neat row of stiches running down her flank and covered in silver spray to aid healing and prevent infection, Pippa was still lost in wonder when they’d reloaded his car and were heading back through the darkness. She didn’t need to ask what might have happened if he hadn’t been there. It was clear the calf would have died and possibly the new mother they’d left nuzzling her baby along with it, the calf already standing on wobbly and uncertain legs as the heifer’s hormones and mothering instinct kicked straight in.

He’d been quick and calm, and his skill and professionalism had been very reassuring. She hadn’t doubted him for a second. If he hadn’t been able to save the calf, then she didn’t believe anyone else could have done. ‘You were amazing.’

‘Not really.’ Gil glanced at her, both hands firm on the steering wheel. ‘It’s what I trained to do.’

‘Because you love it.’

‘Yeah, I do.’ His laugh was quick, as though he’d surprised himself with the admission.

She hadn’t missed his elation when he’d hauled the calf out, the wide grin when it took that first, vital breath and he knew his efforts had made all the difference. She couldn’t picture him in some city surgery, even though he loved companion animals too. Here was where he thrived, this landscape, its people and its traditions were what he loved. Seeing him at work tonight had somehow removed the prism through which she’d viewed him, and now she was beginning to understand the way of life he’d chosen.

Back in the yard at the farm, Gil opened the door of the Land Rover to let Lola out and Pippa lifted Maud down. The dogs bounded off into the garden and the look he gave her as they reached the terrace was a long one. ‘I’m going to take a shower.’

‘Please hurry up.’ She was aware of him watching as she pulled her jumper off. ‘I’m going to try out my birthday present.’

‘I won’t be long.’ His voice was low as he reluctantly backed away and called the dogs.

She threw him a smile as she went to the hot tub and unwrapped the bow, tugging it loose. She was ready to melt when she dipped a hand into gorgeously inviting water that had been warming all day, soft lights illuminating the bubbles when she hit a switch. She undressed, trying to subdue the impatience of waiting for his return and climbed into the tub, sighing at the blissful warmth enveloping her as she eased into the water.

Even skimpy pink lace felt cumbersome, and she took a deep breath as bubbles fizzed and popped around her. Dare she? She unfastened her bra and slid it off, the water already more sensual and tingling against her bare skin. She flung the bra away, immediately overcome by a rush of doubt.

What was she doing, practically naked in the hot tub and waiting for him to appear? And what had happened to her rules – dating someone and getting to know them before she was ready to take another step? She leant over the side, trying to spy her bra and debating if she ought to go back for it. But the door opened, and light was spilling from the kitchen as Gil walked out, barefoot in jeans. Pippa slid down and folded her arms, every sense utterly tuned into his approaching presence. Rock and roll, Pippa, she told herself wildly. Bugger the rules.

‘I think your birthday present was a genius idea. Especially with you in it,’ he said softly. ‘Room for another one?’

‘What took you so long,’ she whispered.

Her pulse was racing as he quickly unfastened his jeans, removing them to reveal a pair of tight, black shorts. Her body felt both soothed by the water and electrified by Gil as he stepped into the tub. He settled opposite her, mouth half quirked in a lazy smile, and she couldn’t wait a minute longer. She unfolded her arms, and it was all the invitation he needed as he shifted across the tub and gathered her against him, trailing featherlight kisses over her face until she was whimpering, head tilted back when his lips found her jaw. He teased his way to her mouth as her hands darted to his neck, pulling him closer and desperate to end the torment of longing for their first kiss.

His chest was hard against her breasts, and it was Pippa’s mouth that found his first, hands tangled in his hair to hold him against her. It was a powerful, drugging kiss like no other she’d experienced, and every nerve ending was tingling in response to Gil’s touch. Stubble was rough against her face and all that mattered in this moment was continuing the conversation their bodies had begun.

‘I’ve wanted you since the first time I saw you. Standing in my bedroom door that morning, all cross and utterly gorgeous in those pyjamas. I knew right away I was in trouble.’ He dipped his head to rush out ragged words against her ear, one firm hand holding her. ‘Pippa, are you quite sure? This is going to make everything so much more complicated.’

‘Certain.’ No other word could be enough. She slid his hands to her hips, easing his thumbs beneath the pink lace and felt him smile. ‘I’m finding out how much fun it is to be more rock and roll.’