9. Dominic
NINE
DOMINIC
I wasn’t kidding when I said all I wanted to do was make sure Fitch was safe in my arms.
I wanted to hold him forever.
Seeing those thugs with guns, then all those cops swarming them, all I could see was Fitch.
Nolan ran off ahead, getting to Benji as fast as he could, and I could barely get my legs to work at all.
And god, how I’d wanted to pull him into a crushing hug in front of everyone. But there were cops and people with phones recording, and I had the court case in the back of my mind.
I couldn’t jeopardise that.
Then Fitch had to go and say it was all such a rush, as if him being in danger hadn’t just taken ten years off my life.
Fuck, I was so mad.
Angry at the whole situation—at me for agreeing to the police operation and telling Fitch he’d be okay—but also angry at him for not understanding how important he is to me.
I needed to learn how to deal with my anger apparently because it scared him, and I’d made him cry.
I’d made my fucking boy cry.
He’d thought I was going to end our agreement, cast him aside, leave him.
He’d called himself worthless.
I clearly had a lot of work to do.
And I would start by cherishing him. I would prove to him that he was not worthless. That he meant the world to me.
So I made sure he ate, then I made sure he was showered. I dressed him, dried his hair with a towel then combed it through with my fingers, giving him a soft kiss. Then I took him to bed.
Where I did nothing but wrap him up in my arms and hold him until he fell asleep.
I kept replaying everything he’d said. He’d thought I was going to leave him. He’d said it made him feel ill and heartbroken.
And that was a declaration, of sorts.
Not outright, but an admission to feelings.
Feelings that matched mine.
Because if tonight’s events proved anything to me, it was an admission of my own.
I had feelings for him. Not just the daddy/boy thing. But actual feelings. Not affection, not fondness, though they were true.
This was more.
Was it love?
I wasn’t sure . . .
But it certainly could be.
Hell, maybe it already was.
It didn’t help that I woke up to him lying in the bed next to me, with his briefs pulled down, smearing his arse with lube. “Daddy,” he whined. “Thank god you’re awake. If you don’t fuck me right now, I think I’ll die.”
I blinked, my eyes not even adjusted to the light yet. “Is that right?”
He nodded. “It’s not my fault. I slept next to you all night, and when I woke up, your cock was pushed against me and it made me tingly all over, daddy.”
I snorted.
This fucking boy.
My morning wood took zero convincing, wanting inside him.
Fitch rolled onto his stomach, raised one leg and stuck his pert little arse up. “You’re still not inside me,” he whined, stretching his arms up under his pillow. He began to roll his hips, humping the mattress, each breath a quiet moan. “Daddy, please.”
Like I could ever deny him.
I went to my knees between his legs and ran my hands over his back, over his arse, down the backs of his thighs, easily covering his small, pale frame. “This body,” I whispered. “So fucking sexy.”
He replied by lifting his arse higher, his hand coming around to rub over his taint, lube smearing in its wake, his fingertip dipping inside him. “I will do it myself if you won’t.”
I snatched his hand away and pinned it above his head, leaning over him. “No one fucks you but me,” I bit out. With my other hand, I shoved my pyjama pants down far enough to free my cock, and with my fist at the base of the shaft, I pushed into his slick hole.
He cried out, arching his back, so I let go of his wrist and wrapped my arm around his chest, holding him to me as I sunk into his body. The back of his head rested against my neck, his breaths now short and sharp. “This what you wanted, boy?” I whispered. “You wanted daddy’s cock, so you’ll take all of it, won’t you, boy?”
Panting, whining, he trembled as he tried to nod. “Yes, thank you, daddy.”
God, he felt so good.
He fit so well between my thighs, underneath me. The way his body took me, slow and deep... it was heaven.
“Fuck, you’re tight,” I bit out. “You were made for daddy, weren’t you, boy?”
“Yes,” he whined. “All for you.”
I could have so easily just fucked him like this all day, every day. But something changed for me last night. Something deeper than sexual needs and gratification. I wanted him to feel this connection. I wanted him to know...
I pulled out slowly and slid my arm out from underneath him.
“What? No?—”
I flipped him over onto his back, tugging his briefs off his legs before pulling him down the bed a little, so I was between his legs. “Want you this way,” I said, pushing his legs up. “Wanna see your face when I come in you.”
He gasped and nodded, his hands cupping my face.
We locked eyes as I pushed my cock back into him, and I could see the sensations flicker in his wide eyes. The emotion.
Fuck, this was so much better.
My heart was squeezing and thrumming, his eyes searching mine, his mouth open. I hoped he could see what he meant to me, what I was feeling in that moment.
Without a word spoken between us, he nodded as if he understood.
As if he felt the same.
“Oh, my boy,” I breathed. The exquisite pleasure running through me, intense as the emotions I was feeling. “You’re so perfect.”
He opened his mouth, but no words came out. Instead, he nodded again, his eyes imploring and honest.
He didn’t need to say anything. I knew he understood.
So I snaked my arms underneath him, buried his face in my neck, his arms holding me tight. I rocked into him, back and forth, until the pleasure became too much.
He was panting and whining, louder and holding me tighter, until he went rigid and I felt his cock spurt wet and warm between us. His fingernails clawed my back, his arse clamped around me, pushing me over the brink.
I thrust in deep, giving him my load, and he cried out, groaning with each pulse.
He kept his arms around me, holding me to him as my senses came back to me and I caught my breath.
“Thank you, daddy,” he whispered.
“Hm.” It was about all I could manage. I pulled back, my body heavy and boneless, my head still hazy. He lay sprawled out on my bed in front of me, his legs splayed open, his belly smeared with his come. He was thoroughly fucked and sated. Happy. “Jesus Christ, you’re so fucking beautiful right now.”
He smiled as he let out a contented hum, then trailed a finger through the mess on his skin. “I made a mess, daddy.”
I laughed, not even sure what else I could do. It was obscene and utterly perfect. “Then I should shower you. Want some breakfast?”
He nodded, his tongue peeking out at the corner of his mouth. Still playful and sexy.
Fucking perfect.
I helped him up and into the shower, and he let me wash every inch of him. He was pliant and eager, smiling. Afterwards, when I was drying his hair, he smiled up at me.
Just smiled.
“You okay?” I asked. “You look a little dreamy.”
“I’m a happy boy,” he said quietly. “I have the very best daddy.”
I stopped drying his hair, my heart impossibly full. “And I have the very best boy.”
He beamed. “Does that mean I get to wear the Daddy’s Best Boy shirt today?”
How could I say no to that?
“Of course you can.”
He squeaked and threw his arms around me, giving me a squeezy hug before he went into my wardrobe and came back out with his basket, which he handed to me.
“Am I dressing you today?”
He nodded.
I sat on the end of my bed, and he stood before me, completely naked. This was probably a little excessive, but he was in such a blissful state, I didn’t want to burst his bubble.
For him to act like this meant that he felt safe and secure and all his needs were met. It was all I ever wanted.
“Which underwear today?” I asked.
“Love hearts,” he said. “Hearts for daddy.” His cheeks flushed pink, and so god help me, it made me giddy.
He put his hand on my shoulder as he stepped into them and I pulled them up, adjusting his crotch. The fabric barely concealed anything, dipping low to hold his junk.
Of course he loved them.
“Which shorts?”
“No shorts,” he replied.
I met his gaze. “None?”
He shook his head, his tongue licking his top lip. “No, daddy. I want you to see me, and want me, and have me whenever you like.”
Jesus.
After the mind-altering orgasm barely half an hour ago, I wasn’t sure how it was possible to want more.
But I did.
I needed to show some self-control around him.
I cleared my throat. “Right then. Uh, shirt?”
Fitch laughed as I pulled the Daddy’s Number One Boy shirt over his head. It didn’t cover his barely contained crotch, but he liked that the most, apparently.
He was wearing this outfit to kill me; I was sure of it.
He did a full turn, letting me take it all in. “Do you like it?”
“Very much.”
He came to stand between my legs, his hand on my chest, and his smile faded away. He was nervous all of a sudden.
“What is it, boy?”
“We have to go do the police interview thing today?”
I nodded. I’d already told him I’d take him, stay with him. “You should probably wear some shorts for that though.”
He almost smiled, then looked at his hand on my heart. “I want to come back here,” he murmured. “I want to stay another night. I want to spend all day with you; just be here with you. Please let me stay longer. You don’t have to pay me, I just want to stay with you.”
Oh, holy shit.
I put my finger to his chin, making him look at me. “You can stay as long as you want,” I whispered. “Having you here is...” God, I wasn’t sure I could say this out loud. I didn’t want to ruin this perfect day by dropping something as wild and heavy as the L word on him. “It makes me happy.”
He smiled, his eyes a little glassy. “Me too.”
“You make me happy, Fitch,” I admitted quietly. “You can stay whenever you want. As my boy, or just as Fitch. No pressure.”
He gave me a smiley kiss. “Silly daddy,” he said. “Fitch is your boy. I’m the real me when I’m with you.”
I returned the soft kiss. “I’m the real me too.”
He threw his arms around my neck and sat on my lap. “Did you want breakfast, or did you want to stay in bed all day? Because honestly, the way I’m feeling right now, I just want you inside me all day.”
I groaned. “Breakfast. You need to eat.”
He pouted, but I set him on his feet and stood up. “You can help me cook.”
He nodded keenly, so easily distracted from what he wanted to do just five seconds ago. And he did help... until his phone rang.
“It’s Benji,” he whispered, reading the name on the screen. He answered. “Hello? Is everything okay?”
I couldn’t hear what Benji said, just the murmur of his voice.
Fitch sighed. “Then what are you calling for? Calls are for emergencies only. Texting was invented for good reason, Benj.”
I smiled as I poured the whisked eggs into the pan.
“We’re fine,” Fitch said. “I’m putting you on speaker. Saves me relaying the whole conversation later.” Fitch pressed the button and slid his phone onto the kitchen counter. “Say hello to Dominic.”
Benji chuckled. “Hello, Dominic.”
“Hello, Benji,” I replied.
“I just wanted to make sure everyone was okay after last night,” Benji said.
“We are so fucking good,” Fitch replied.
Benji laughed. “I bet you are.”
He picked up his phone and, holding it up, took a selfie. “I’m sending you a photo of my outfit.”
“Oh god,” I mumbled. “Fitch, is that a good idea?”
Benji snorted.
Fitch smiled without shame. “Second best idea I’ve had so far today.” Then he thought for a moment. “Actually, it’s the third best idea I’ve had today.”
I cleared my throat and Benji laughed, then his phone dinged.
“Oh, I got your photo—” There was a pause. “Christ, Fitch. You are a shameless whore.”
I didn’t exactly care for my Fitch to be called that word, but Fitch burst out laughing. “I know. Don’t you love the shirt?”
“The shirt? I’m too busy looking at your dick. Those panties aren’t hiding much.” Then someone mumbled in the background... Nolan, I realised. I couldn’t hear what he said but Benji laughed. Then he said, “Hm. Uh, Dominic?”
I sighed, letting my head fall back. “Yes?”
“Nolan wants to know where you got those from?”
Fitch laughed. “Stop. You’re embarrassing him.”
Jesus.
I would’ve hated it except for the smile on Fitch’s face.
“I’ll see you at eleven at the police station,” Benji said quietly.
“You will. I’m wearing this shirt, just so you know. Though daddy told me I had to put some shorts on.”
Benji snorted. “So you don’t get arrested for indecency.”
Fitch rolled his eyes. “Text Ky. He won’t be awake yet.”
“Already have.”
Fitch gasped, his hand to his heart. “You texted him before me?”
“Yes, but I called you.”
He sighed, pouting. “Fine.”
Benji was quiet for a moment. “I miss you, Fitch.”
Now he frowned. “I miss you too.”
“Can we hang out?” Benji asked. “Maybe tomorrow? Come spend the day with me here.”
“Okay,” he whispered. “See you soon though.”
He ended the call and was quiet a long moment, frowning as he slid his phone away. I turned the heat off the stovetop and went to Fitch, pulling him in for a hug. “You okay?”
He nodded. “Yeah. I just miss them. We just... it was only us every day for two years. We were all we had. Then in the last weeks, everything changed. Benji’s with Nolan. I doubt he’ll be coming back to our flat. Pretty sure he’s at Nolan’s for good. I’m here a few nights a week, and Ky... well, he’s had his two daddies for a while now, and he’s not home two nights a week. It’s just...” He sighed. “Changing, I guess.”
I gave his back a rub and kissed the top of his head. “Change isn’t easy. But these are good changes, yes? You’re all happy?”
He nodded. “Yeah. The happiest I’ve ever been, Dominic.”
God, when he called me by my name...
“You’ll all be okay,” I reassured him. “Honestly, Benji staying with Nolan for the duration of the court case isn’t a bad idea. He’ll be safer there.”
Fitch sighed. “I know.”
“So get through today, the police interviews and statements,” I said. “Then spend the day with them tomorrow. And talk about your plans.”
He looked up at me. “What plans?”
“Plans for the future.”
He made a face. “I... I don’t have any... I mean, I never thought any further ahead than next week or a six-month lease at the most, ya know?”
God, that hurt to hear. I hadn’t actually meant life plans, just plans involving hanging out with Benji more. But now that he’d mentioned it...
I put my hand to his face. “Then maybe you should start thinking about what future you want? Where do you want to be in six months? A year, five years, ten?”
He searched my eyes. “I... I don’t know.”
I tried to smile for him. “Then start thinking about it. What do you want? Maybe write down some goals. Small ones, nothing too crazy. Then some big ones. Then put together a plan.”
He didn’t look convinced.
“Fitch,” I said gently. “Don’t let it scare you.”
“Hope is a dangerous thing to have for someone like me,” he whispered.
Oh god.
I pulled him against me, wrapping him up tight.
“I’m sorry,” I murmured. “I was trying to be encouraging.”
He sighed. “Don’t apologise.”
“And someone like you,” I added with a kiss to the top of his head. “Deserves the world. Don’t let anyone tell you anything different.”
He looked up at me and gave me a smile. “When I’m with you, I kinda forget everything. You make this little bubble for me and it’s perfect. It’s everything I never thought I would have.”
“It’s yours any time you need it.” I kissed his forehead. “Whatever I can do to help, Fitch. It’s yours.”
“Things with Fitch are going well, I see,” Nolan said.
We were standing in his kitchen while the three boys were on sun chairs on the balcony.
We’d just got back from giving their statements at the police station and the three of them needed to spend some time together. Benji needed his two best friends, sure. But Fitch needed them too, and from the way Ky chose to share a sunbed with Benji, I’d say he needed it as well.
They shared a strong bond, one I probably couldn’t begin to fathom.
And if I were being honest with myself, I needed to talk as well. If there was anyone I could trust to understand, it was Nolan.
“Yes,” I answered. “Probably too well,” I allowed.
“How so?”
“Is there such a thing as too perfect?”
Nolan laughed at that. “Yes, there is.” He was staring at the glass sliding door to the balcony, to where his Benji was. “That you’re too well-suited for each other and are exactly what the other needs?”
Yeah, he understood.
I nodded, then rolled my eyes at myself. “Fitch is...”
“A brat?” His eyes met mine and his smile told me it was all in good faith. “I mean, the shirt he’s wearing. Which he wore to the police interview.”
I snorted. “You should have seen the shorts he wanted to wear with it.” The very shorts I had bought for him, nonetheless. But only for private use, not to wear in public, much less to a police station. “The jeans took some bribery.”
Nolan smirked at that. “I bet they did.”
We were both quiet for a moment before I relented to being completely honest with a long sigh.
“I get it now,” I began. “I mean, I accepted why you said you’d choose Benji over everything else the other week. I could see you had feelings for him, that there was something between you, so it was a logical conclusion. It was fine and reasonable...”
He watched me for a moment. “And now you get it.”
It wasn’t a question.
I gave a nod. “Yeah. I get it. I understand.” I let out a laugh and shook my head at myself. “I am forty-six years old, and I am only just understanding what all the fuss is about. Why poets write odes to the sunrise, what drives an artist to paint, why there are so many songs about love. It’s ridiculous, right?” I could feel my face burn and I could feel Nolan’s eyes on me, but I refused to look at him. “I mean, there’ve been wars fought for love.”
“Would you start a war for him?” Nolan asked quietly.
I looked at him then. “I would burn the world down for him.”
He grinned at me, took a deep breath, and let it out with a sigh. “You love him.”
That wasn’t a question either, but I conceded a nod anyway. “I haven’t told him that, not directly anyway.”
“Think it will scare him?”
I shrugged. “Maybe. It’s hard enough to support and encourage him without feeling as if I’m encroaching on territory I’m not entitled to tread.”
He frowned at that. “Explain why you feel you’re not entitled to help him.”
Christ. Talking to fellow lawyers was never easy.
“Because...” There was no easy way to say this. “Because of his work, because of mine. He has nothing. I have more than enough for both of us. But I can’t just come in and save him. He doesn’t even need saving. He’s more than capable; he went from being homeless at eighteen to earning enough money to pay for housing and utilities on his own. That’s commendable.”
“It is,” he agreed.
“And while I want to give him the world, I don’t want him to think that I think he’s not capable. I said this morning that I’d help him with whatever he needs to plan for his future and he went all quiet on me. I just wanted to encourage him and guide him, but I think he took it as if I didn’t think he was capable and that what he’s doing now isn’t enough.”
“I had a similar conversation with Benji,” Nolan said.
My eyes met his. “You did?”
He nodded. “Yep. And it pretty much went the same way.”
Fuck.
I took a deep breath in. “I don’t want him to continue working,” I admitted quietly. “For purely selfish reasons. The idea of another man touching him makes me so angry I can’t think straight. But I have to accept it, and that’s something I need to work on. I can’t make him stop. He still needs money for rent and food, above what I pay him.”
Nolan’s smile turned wry. “Also had that conversation with Benji.”
“And?”
“He’s stopped for now. He doesn’t need to work. He has access to his old bank account. He’s got more money now than he’s seen in years, but he’s... unsure. He doesn’t know what the future holds. Especially with the court case pending. But before he got access to his money, I told him the same thing. I couldn’t make him stop working. As much as I wished I could.”
I sighed. “I could demand he stops. Beg him, even. Get him a job somewhere else. He’s smart, he could work just about anywhere. But then I’d be telling him his work now is a bad thing.” I ran my hand through my hair. “And I’d be a fucking hypocrite, because I’m paying him for his... services.”
Nolan nodded slowly. “I guess all we can do is give them support, and maybe when they feel safe and protected, they’ll see they have options.” He shrugged and let out a sigh. “Or we just go with whatever the flow is. I don’t even know. They’re in their early twenties, young and wild, and we’re... well, we’re older than that.”
I almost smiled. “All we can do is be what they need, right?”
“Yep. We carry the responsibility of their well-being. That’s our role, and that’s the whole problem,” he said. “As Fitch’s daddy—and I’m only calling you that because it’s written on his shirt?—”
I smiled.
He kept talking. “We’re torn between encouraging them to be themselves but also wanting to tell them exactly what to do because we know what’s best for them.”
That was true.
And it wasn’t lost on me that he’d said we . He was including himself in the daddy part of the equation.
“Isn’t it the job of a good daddy to be both?” I asked. “Is that what we’re supposed to do? To be?”
“Knowing when to concede or when to put your foot down?” he asked with a smile. “Fucked if I know, man. You’re more into the daddy role than me. Maybe you should speak to Leon and Marek about the finer points, the proper guidelines.”
I sighed again. He was right. Everything he was saying was right—the roles, the hardships, knowing what to do.
“I think I’m in over my head.”
“No you’re not,” he said, clapping my arm. “Because you’re worried and cautious, and your only concerns are for him. Not one thing you’ve said is about yourself. That tells me you’re doing just fine and that Fitch is in good hands.”
I met his eyes then. “Thanks.”
We were quiet again for a moment. “So what’s with you and Benji? You said you’re not into the full-on daddy role, but you said we as if you include yourself in that.”
He made a seesaw motion with his hand. “Kind of. Not hardcore. Not even really at all. I’m just older than him and want to make him feel safe and loved.” He shrugged. “I’ve always liked twinks and younger men, as you know.”
True.
We’d often hit Oxford Street bars looking for the same kind of boy to take into a backroom somewhere.
“Benji has different needs,” he added with a sly smile. “Like Fitch does, I’m assuming.”
I couldn’t help but return the smile. “Oh yes. He most certainly does.”
Nolan laughed, and after that, our conversation turned to the court case, the police statements today, and projected likely outcomes. Then talk turned to work, and not long after, the glass sliding door opened and the boys came inside.
“It’s getting too hot out there,” Fitch said sleepily, walking over to me. He leaned against me, his head in the crook of my neck. He felt warm.
I put my hand to his forehead. “Do you feel unwell?”
He shook his head, then looked at up me, slow-blinking and smiley-pouting. “No, it’s just the sun, daddy. I am tired though, and you promised me another full day of fu?—”
I put my finger to his lips. “Uh.”
He smiled and snuggled in against me, and my god, it was so easy to wrap my arms around him and kiss the top of his head. Even in front of Nolan, Benji, and Ky.
Fitch clearly felt comfortable to be himself, and I wasn’t going to deny him that.
“Right, then,” I said. “I should get this little one home.”
Fitch perked up, his face tilted up to me, excited. “Little one. I’m gonna need that on a shirt.”
“You need one with brat written on it,” Benji said.
“That too,” Fitch agreed. Then his eyes lit up and aimed right at me. “Oooh, I have the best idea for matching shirts.”
Uh, what? “Matching shirts? With me?”
He nodded. “Yes!”
“Uh, I don’t think so,” I tried.
He pulled back, pouting with big sad eyes. “But daddy. Yours would say good things and mine would have small packages on it.”
Good things . . . small packages.
Good things come in small packages.
Jesus H. Christ.
The others all laughed, which only seemed to make Fitch happier.
He was really amping up on the cheeky brat. I tried to tell him with my eyes that this wasn’t really the place for this conversation. “We’ll talk about it later.”
Fitch grinned as if he’d just won.
Benji laughed some more, and Nolan hid his smile behind his glass. “Good luck with that,” he said.
I grumbled. “Thanks.” I turned Fitch around and started him toward the door. “Ky, need a lift?”
He gave a small nod. “Thanks.”
“Fitch, I’ll call you,” Benji said.
“Text first,” he replied. “I plan to be indisposed until Dominic leaves for work tomorrow morning.”
Dear god.
I turned to give Nolan a nod of thanks. “See you tomorrow morning, eight o’clock sharp.”
“Yes, you will,” he replied. “Give Leon and Marek a call.”
Ky’s head snapped around to look at Nolan, then at me, before he put his head down and tried to pretend he hadn’t just reacted like that.
“Wait,” Fitch said, holding up both hands. He stared at Ky. “What was that?” Then he looked at me, then Nolan. “Who are Leon and Marek? And oh my god.” He turned back to Ky, his smile becoming a grin. “That’s them, isn’t it? That’s your two daddies?”
Ky shook his head. “No. I don’t know who you’re talking about.”
Fitch grabbed Ky’s hand, clearly excited. “It is them!”
I thought Ky might freak out. He was usually so quiet, so reserved and unassuming. But no, he damn near smiled. I tried to think if I’d ever seen that boy smile before today.
Fitch squealed. “Benji, we have some names!” Then he looked at me. “Who are Leon and Marek? How do you know them? Oh my god, I can’t believe you know them. Do they go to the 180 club? I always suspected they did.”
Although the question was directed at me, Ky shook his head, and despite Fitch’s excitement, it was pretty clear that Ky wasn’t too comfortable with this.
“Fitch,” I said, calm but firm. “I’m not at liberty to say.”
“But—”
“No buts,” I said, taking his chin gently but making him stop and look at me all the same. “That’s not my story to tell. Respect Ky’s privacy. If he hasn’t told you, there’s perhaps good reason. Okay?”
He sighed and pouted, but he gave a nod. “Fine.” I let go of his chin and he gave Ky a nudge. “Sorry.”
Ky gave him a brief smile. “’s okay.” Then he looked up at me, his expression grateful. “Thanks.”
Ky was about the same height and size as Benji, an inch or two taller than Fitch. But there was an air of sadness to Ky. He was so different to Fitch’s wild energy and Benji’s calm smarts, and I had to wonder what Ky’s story was.
The fact he was Leon and Marek’s boy was also news to me and Nolan, but the fact Fitch and Benji didn’t know was what surprised me most.
Not that we knew them overly well, but still...
Like I’d just said to Fitch, it was not our place to ask.
I opened the door, herded Fitch and Ky out, and waved goodbye to Nolan and Benji.