Chapter 29
“You know you can go the speed limit,” Allison said from the back seat, where she sat beside Bethany’s car seat.
“Shut up.”
Erica gripped the steering wheel with both hands. The short drive from the hospital to the house seemed fraught with danger. Too many drivers were idiots and she had special cargo.
“You’re going what? Twenty? Cars are backing up behind you.”
“I’m being careful. We have a newborn in the car. Be grateful.”
“I’d rather be home.”
Erica shot her a look in the rearview mirror. “You have a lot of attitude for someone who gave birth three days ago.”
“They gave me a vitamin B12 shot. I’m ready to take on the world.”
“For real?”
“No. I have to pee, but at the rate you’re driving, it’s going to happen in the car.”
“Cross your legs. We’re nearly there.”
She stayed under the speed limit and in the right lane the rest of the way, then made a wide, slow turn onto the long driveway. When she pulled into the garage, the door burst open and Mara, holding Jackson, and Summer rushed out to greet them.
“Mommy, Mommy, Mommy!”
The little boy was frantic. Allison unfastened her seat belt.
“You take care of him,” Erica said, turning off the engine. “We’ll get Bethany.”
Allison hurried to her son, who threw himself at her and started crying.
“I know,” she said, holding him. “It was too long. But I’m home now.”
Summer joined her mother. “You’re back. I can’t wait to see her.” She opened the back door and studied the sleeping baby. “She’s so beautiful.”
Summer carefully unfastened the car seat, then lifted it out of the car. Erica grabbed all the bags Allison had collected during her short stay in the hospital. The baby furniture had been delivered, so everything was ready for the little family.
Still holding Jackson, Allison came over to them. “Thank you so much for taking care of him.”
Mara lightly touched Bethany’s cheek. “He was so good. He ate well and we played a lot and ran around outside.”
“He was in day care in the mornings,” Summer added. “Mom took him and Grandma picked him up. We thought keeping him on a regular schedule was important.” She tickled the little boy. “He slept great.”
They all went into the house. Allison tried to show Bethany to Jackson but he was more interested in demonstrating how he could climb the stairs with only a little help.
“We’ve been working on that every morning,” Mara said with a laugh. “It was good exercise for me.”
“You’re growing up so fast,” Allison told her son. “What a big, big boy.”
He beamed.
Summer handed Erica Bethany in her car seat. “You take her upstairs, Mom. I think I need a little more baby practice before I’m comfortable doing that.”
Erica hadn’t carried a newborn in nearly sixteen years, but she told herself it was like riding a bike. At least she hoped it was. Plus, Bethany was all strapped in and there was a handle from the removeable part of the car seat.
They made it to the second floor. Jackson broke free of his mother’s hand and started shrieking.
“New, Mommy. New!”
“What’s new?” Allison glanced at them. “Tell me you didn’t buy Bethany a pony.”
“Not yet,” Mara said cheerfully as she pushed open a door. “But the furniture fairies did put in an appearance.”
Erica hung back as everyone else pushed into the room. It was more crowded, but all the new things fit. There was a bassinet by the bed and a fully stocked changing table along the far wall. The rocker was tucked in the corner. A few wall hangings neither she nor Summer had been able to resist brightened the space.
“Look!” Summer raced over to a small refrigerator tucked next to the dresser. “It’s for when you pump breast milk. That way you don’t have to go downstairs in the middle of the night.”
Allison had only been using one side of the bathroom vanity for herself. Summer and Mara had set up the other side with baby supplies.
“Plus the extra stuff is stored in the laundry room,” Summer said. “Mom set up a diaper delivery service. You just let them know how many you want each week, and the size, and they’ll show up on the following Tuesday. It’s cool. Come look at the closet. We put all her clothes away. The normal stuff is from me and Grandma but Mom bought too many girlie things. She’s a newborn. How many little dresses does she need?”
Erica kept her gaze on her friend and knew the exact moment Allison started to lose it. She dropped Jackson’s hand and crumpled onto the bed, covering her face with her hands. Harsh, ugly sobs shook her body.
“What did I say?” Summer asked, looking scared.
“Nothing. You were perfect.”
Erica crossed to the bed and sat down, then put her arm around Allison. “She’s dealing with pregnancy hormones and having a newborn. She’s sleeping fifteen minutes at a time. It’s a lot.”
Allison sniffed and took the tissues Mara offered. “You know I can talk for myself, don’t you?”
Erica lowered her voice to a mock whisper. “Sometimes new moms are cranky.”
“I’m not cranky. I’m overwhelmed. I can’t believe you did all this for me.”
“Not just you,” Erica pointed out. “Actually very little of it is for you. Most of it is for the kids. When did you get so self-centered?”
Allison managed a shaky smile. “Thank you.”
Jackson watched her cautiously, then tugged her hand. “My woom.”
“Is he stringing words together?” Allison asked as she wiped her face. “Are you learning sentences?”
He beamed at her, then pulled her to her feet and went across the hall. Allison started toward the room he shared with Summer, but Jackson pointed the other way. Erica hurried to catch up with them.
“Yes, well, we were at the baby store and there was a sale and things got out of hand.”
“It’s Mom’s fault,” Summer said cheerfully. “It was her credit card. I’m collateral damage, so you can’t blame me.”
“You’re throwing me under the bus.”
“You taught me to put on my own oxygen mask first. That’s what I’m doing.”
Allison stared at the half-closed door. “What did you do?”
“Oh, it’s just a picture or two, and the odd rug,” Mara murmured. “A bit of furniture.”
Allison pushed open the door and gasped. Jackson ran in and flung himself on the low toddler bed in the shape of a race car. The bright primary colors of the bed were reflected in the racetrack carpet on the floor. The windows were covered with checkered-flag curtains. There were bookshelves, a tiny desk and a toy box that looked like the car engine.
“How did you do this?” Allison asked in amazement. “I was only gone three days.”
“Everything was already on order,” Erica told her. “The setup took no time at all.”
“It kind of happened right after you went to the hospital,” Summer said. “Yesterday Jackson took his nap in here. We thought that would be the best way to start him in his toddler bed. Just naps. In a few weeks, when he’s ready, he can sleep in here at night. I can leave the bathroom doors open, so he knows I’m right there.”
Allison hugged the teen. “You’re so amazing. Thank you.”
Summer smiled. “He’s my brother. I want to be a part of everything in his life. Plus by the time he’s ready to sleep here all the time, you’ll want the crib for Bethany. Everything works out.”
Erica saw Bethany stirring. “I think she’s waking up. Is it time for a feeding?”
Allison smiled wearily. “She eats every two hours. It’s always time for a feeding.”
Mara distracted Jackson with the promise of a game in the yard and took him downstairs. Erica took the car seat into Allison’s room and put the newborn on the bed.
“You going to be all right?” she asked.
Allison nodded. “I’m a pro. I’ll be down when she’s asleep.”
“Why don’t you get some sleep yourself? We’ll wake you for dinner.”
“I need to spend time with Jackson.”
“We’ll keep him busy for as long as we can, then we’ll wake you.”
Allison glanced longingly at the bed. “I know I should be strong, but I really need sleep. Thank you.”
Erica and Summer walked out, closing the bedroom door behind them.
“This is so great,” the teen said as they went downstairs. “Bethany’s tiny. I know Jackson was small, too, but it feels like a long time ago.”
“It’s easy to forget how they start out. You were once that small.”
“I’ve seen pictures, but even so, it’s hard to imagine. Were you scared when you brought me home from the hospital?”
“Terrified. Your grandmother stayed with us for two weeks, which made all the difference. Although when it was time for her to go, I cried and begged her to stay.”
Summer grinned. “That will be me one day.”
“You’re planning on having kids?” Erica asked. “You’ve never mentioned it.”
“I’ve never not wanted kids. I’m sixteen. I’d like to wait to think about it for a while.”
Erica touched her shoulder. “I promise I won’t try to guilt you into having grandbabies. I’d like them, but it’s your life. You have to do what feels right.”
Summer sat at the kitchen table. “I want to believe you,” she teased. “But I’m not sure you’ll be able to hold back.”
Erica settled across from her. “You’ll be amazing. But speaking of having babies—”
Her daughter’s eyes widened. “We weren’t. Not really.”
Erica ignored that. “We need to get you into your doctor for your annual. While we’re there, let’s talk about getting you on birth control. There are a couple of low-dose options that are easy for a young woman your age to manage.”
Summer’s eyes widened and her cheeks flushed. “OMG! Mom, what are you talking about?”
“Birth control.”
Summer looked around, then lowered her voice. “Stop saying that out loud.”
Erica hid her amusement. “So I should text the words.”
“I don’t know, but you don’t just say that stuff in front of people.”
“Allison’s upstairs and Mom’s out with Jackson. It’s just us mice.”
“Ugh. Does anything bother you? I don’t need to be on—you know.”
“You don’t now, but things change. Better to be protected. I know they cover this in sex ed, but to be clear, birth control doesn’t protect you from STDs. That’s a whole different topic.” She paused. “I’ll get you some condoms, too.”
Summer’s blush turned scarlet. “I can’t believe you said this. We’re not talking about this. It’s too humiliating.”
“It’s just sex and staying healthy.”
“For you!” Her voice was a shriek. “I’m sixteen. You’re my mother! You’re not supposed to know about sex or do it or talk about it. You’re just not.”
Erica couldn’t help smiling. “You shock me. I thought you were so together and mature.”
“I am. But not about—” she lowered her voice “—that.”
Erica patted her hand. “I see we have more work to do on this topic and this really isn’t the time. In a few days when no one’s around we’ll a have a heart-to-heart. In the meantime, try to avoid contact with a boy’s penis.”
Summer sprang to her feet and threw up her arms. “Stop!”
“Saying penis?” Erica couldn’t hide her amusement. “You’re weird, kid. Should I call it a pee-pee? Is that better?”
“Why do we have to talk about it at all?”
“Because most girls like to play with them and they can be dangerous.”
Summer covered her face with her hands. “Fine. We’ll talk. Just not today when anyone could walk in. Please. I beg you.”
“I’ll stop.”
“Thank you.” She sank back in her seat. “You’re a nightmare. Although I’m not sure talking to Allison would be that much easier. She sleeps with my dad. Maybe Killion, except he’s a guy, so no.” She frowned. “We haven’t seen him in a while. Is he coming over tonight?”
The unexpected question landed like a body blow. Erica wanted to crumble to the floor, where she could pull her knees to her chest and hold in the pain. Because of course Killion wasn’t coming over for dinner. He wasn’t ever going to see her again. She’d made it clear they were finished, and he was the kind of man who listened.
Breaking up with him had been the right thing to do but living with the consequences sucked. She missed him. A thousand times a day she thought of something to tell him. After Allison had given birth, she’d automatically phoned him, barely stopping the call before it went through.
“No, Killion’s busy with a business deal.”
She didn’t usually lie to her daughter but she wasn’t ready to admit what had happened. She didn’t want the questions, less so from Summer than from her mother. Mara would see through to the real reason she’d done it.
“I wish he could be here tonight,” the teen said. “We’d have the whole family together.” She hesitated. “Except for Dad. Does he know Bethany was born?”
“I haven’t asked Allison.”
“It’s got to be hard for him, knowing his daughter was born but he can’t see her and he wasn’t there. Allison’s really strong, you know? The way she’s handled this. It’s because she has us. Well, mostly you, but us. I like having them live here.”
Erica smiled at her. “I do, too. When you suggested it, I was furious and unwilling and a bunch of other negative things, but it’s worked out. So how about dinner? I’m thinking takeout. None of us wants to cook. We could overorder so Allison can eat the leftovers all night. We’ll get healthy starting tomorrow.”
She waited for Summer to start suggesting places but instead her daughter stared at the table.
“I have a summer job.”
There was a change in topic. “All right. You said you wanted one. It’s probably a good idea, if you’re not going to softball camp.”
“I’m not. I meant what I said about letting that go.” She glanced at Erica. “So I applied at this company that has a summer program for teens. It’s for eight weeks and you rotate through different departments, learning about the business. I’m not sure how much I’m going to actually help the place, but I’ll learn a lot.”
“That sounds great. Is it like what we do at Twisted?” She’d started a teen program about ten years ago. Students applied and were chosen based on a series of interviews.
“Mom, it is at Twisted. I applied and was accepted into the program.” She wrinkled her nose. “I have Dad’s last name so I got through the preliminary discussions without anyone knowing who I was, but Emmy does the final interview and she’s known me since I was a kid.”
Erica tried to understand. “I don’t understand. You applied at Twisted for the summer?”
Summer nodded.
“But you hate what I do.”
Her daughter slumped on the table. “I don’t hate it. I don’t understand it or respect it.” She sat up. “Sometimes it was easy to dismiss what you did. Dad always said kind of mean things. I didn’t get it before but since he’s been in jail, I’ve had time to think. I’m not saying I want to do hair, but you run a really big business. You’re successful and strong and stuff. There’s a lesson there.”
Now it was Erica’s turn to fight tears. She felt like one big emotional mess.
“I didn’t know you’d applied.”
“I asked Emmy not to tell you and I told her to hire me or not, based on merit. I don’t know if she listened. I mean I am your daughter.” She smiled. “I’m kind of excited to see what all you do there. Allison’s always talking about how she enjoys her work and how great the salon is. She really loves it there. So does Grandma.”
Erica told herself not to make a big deal about it. Her daughter working at Twisted. She would take that as a win.
“So takeout,” Summer said, pulling out her phone. “Does Allison have any food restrictions? She’s nursing so there’s that.” She looked at Erica. “If I do a search on what nursing mothers can’t eat, is it going to gross me out?”
“I doubt they’re going to mention the word penis, so you’ll be fine.”
“Mom!” She looked over her shoulder. “Stop saying that. It’s wrong coming from a parent.”
Erica smiled. “Sometimes you’re so mature, I worry you won’t be my little girl anymore. It’s nice to know you still have some growing up to do.”
“Whatever. Just stop saying that word!”