Forever (Empire High Book 8)

Chapter 22

Thursday

Brooklyn

I laughed and lifted my plate off the table. “Justin, you’re getting glitter in the food.”

“You’re getting glitter in the food,” he said back sarcastically as he slammed a book full of color swatches closed and glitter went everywhere. “Well, maybe if we didn’t have to do literally all the planning in one night, you wouldn’t have glitter in your hors d’oeuvres.”

This probably wasn’t the best time to ask him to be a bridesmaid. Or a bridesman? I wasn’t exactly sure what it was called. But it definitely wasn’t a good time to ask. Maybe at the end of the night. I blew some of the glitter off my plate and ate another one of the little pastry puffs that tasted like cheesesteaks. “Well this cheesesteak pastry thing has my vote.”

“Agreed,” Mason said as he grabbed another from the tray.

I smiled at him. It was really sweet of Mason and Kennedy to come with us. And Mrs. Alcaraz and Mrs. Caldwell. The two of them were talking to one of the seamstresses. They seemed to think my old dress would still work. I hoped that was true.

I couldn’t believe that in just a few weeks I’d be Mrs. Caldwell. Everything was happening so fast, it felt surreal. Like I was in some kind of dream instead of reality. Because my reality was being curled up on a couch at the lake house in Miller’s arms. I felt tears pulling in my eyes. No, my reality was that Miller was gone. There was no safe haven lake house. I needed my mind to stop playing tricks on me.

I took a deep breath and put my hand on my stomach. It was easier to hold on to the present when I knew I was needed here. Right now. In this moment. I looked around Justin’s studio. It was really easy to be present in here. There were seamstresses altering dresses, people in suits running around with clipboards for some reason, place settings on display, and other couples discussing cake options. It was colorful and chaotic and just so very Justin.

I turned to Matt. “Which is your favorite appetizer?” I asked.

“Whatever you choose sounds good to me.”

He kept saying that to any suggestion I had. But at this rate I was going to choose everything. “But which appetizer is your favorite?”

He leaned closer to me so no one could hear him. “Baby, there’s only one thing I’m interested in eating on our wedding day.”

“Right. The cake.” But I was going to have a lot of opinions about that too…

His lips fell to my ear. “Not the cake, Brooklyn. You.”

Jesus.I crossed my legs under the table.

“Good, you chose one. I’ll choose the rest,” Justin said and snapped his fingers. The waiter started clearing away the appetizers. I quickly grabbed one more cheesesteak pastry before the plate was snatched off the table.

Justin was definitely in his frantic mode. Whenever we weren’t quick enough, he just said he’d figure it out. But actually…I was okay with that. I trusted him. And he still had all our original wedding plans. I wasn’t sure what had made him keep them all those years ago. But I was so glad he did.

“When are you going to ask him about being in the wedding party?” Matt whispered.

“It doesn’t really seem like a good time right now.”

“I don’t think he’s going to calm down until after the wedding.”

I bit the inside of my lip. Matt was probably right. I just needed to ask. “Hey, Justin?” I said as the waiters started to bring out dozens of different cakes.

“If you’re about to ask me why you don’t get to try any entrees, save your breath. There’s no time. You’ll have steak and crabcakes.”

“That sounds great…”

“Don’t you dare but me right now. There’s no time for buts!”

“I wasn’t going to. That truly sounds great. I just wanted to ask…”

“No, you can’t choose the wine list, Brooklyn. You’re pregnant.”

I wouldn’t know how to choose a wine list even if I wasn’t pregnant. “Justin…”

“Save your breath, you’re choosing cake #7.” He pointed to a beautiful cake with yellow icing. I smiled. My mother would have loved it. I felt an ache in my chest. I’d do anything for her to be here with me right now.

“Justin, she’s trying to ask you an important question,” Matt said. He put his arm around my shoulders.

“She doesn’t get to ask any questions until she answers all of mine.” He held up a stack of papers. “Like, who’s walking you down the aisle?”

I swallowed hard. I really didn’t want to talk about that.

Matt cleared his throat. “Justin. Just hear her out. It’s one question.”

“I don’t have time for questions!” Justin downed the rest of his cup of coffee. “I need more caffeine!” He snapped his fingers and a waiter with coffee appeared.

I really didn’t think he needed more caffeine right now.

“You’re going to want to make time for this question,” Matt said calmly. He nodded at me when Justin had finally quieted down with his new coffee mug in hand.

At least if he was drinking he wouldn’t be able to interrupt me. “Justin, I know you’re going to be busy the day of the wedding, so I’m not sure how it’ll work exactly, but I’d love for you to be in the bridal party.”

Justin spat his coffee out all over the table. “Excuse me?”

“Jesus, Justin,” Mason said and wiped some coffee spittle off his tie.

Kennedy laughed.

I couldn’t help but laugh too. “Justin, I was hoping you could be a bridesmaid. Or bridesperson?”

“Shut the hell up!” Justin yelled.

Was he upset? Or excited? I felt like I was wording it wrong. “Or…bridesman?”

“Brooklyn.” He put his hand to his chest. “You beautiful last-minute goddess. I would love nothing more. And I will look amazing in a yellow tux.”

“You really will.”

He screamed at the top of his lungs and threw his arms out, accidentally knocking over the yellow cake. “Oops. But this one really is divine, just trust me.” He licked a little icing off his fingers.

“I do,” I said.

“Save that for your gorgeous hunk of a husband,” Justin said and winked at Matt. He sighed “To think, the two of us almost kissed.”

Kennedy laughed. “Wait, the two of you almost kissed on your date?”

“No,” Matt said.

At the same time, Justin said, “yes.”

Matt laughed. “Definitely not.”

Justin shrugged. “I remember it differently in my dreams.” He clapped his hands together. “Now that all the food is situated, it’s time we try on that dress. So you boys need to get out of my studio and leave the rest of the work to the ladies.”

“We barely ate anything,” Mason said. He turned to Matt. “I came here straight from work and I was promised lots of food.”

“Want to go get some takeout or something?” Matt asked.

“No need.” Justin snapped his fingers and waiters balancing tons of takeout containers walked over to the table. “You can have all the leftovers. You can take forever eating on your own time. Now leave.”

Matt leaned down and kissed my cheek. “Are you sure you don’t want me to stay?”

“You can’t see me in my dress. It’s bad luck.” I swallowed hard. I hated thinking of anything else bad happening.

“Nothing bad is going to happen. But if you insist.”

I put my hand on Matt’s cheek. I wanted to believe him. But there was this little voice in the back of my head. Bouncing around, trying to make me listen. Everyone I love dies. I immediately pushed it away. Matt had taught me that wasn’t true. That’s why we had friends and family with us here. That’s why he was here. “Have fun with Mason.” I let my hand fall from his cheek.

I thought he’d stand up and leave, but instead he leaned in closer. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”

I pressed my lips together. I was missing Miller. I was missing my mom. I was worried I’d never get to meet this baby. And I was worried that one day soon, if we walked down the aisle, I’d be missing Matt. Because I was bad luck. My heart was just aching. With pain from my past and worry for my future. And I didn’t know what to say. Because we’d talked about all this. I just didn’t know how to let go of that fear that my whole world would be ripped apart again.

“It’s okay,” he whispered. “Just tell me. I know you’re missing him. I know this is all fast. If it’s too fast…”

I quickly shook my head. “That’s not it.” Not exactly. I wasn’t sure my heart would ever stop aching for Miller. But it felt like my heart beat better around Matt. Like if I was ever going to heal, I needed him by my side. Tanner had told me that it was hard to grieve alone. He was right about that.

“This is what I want,” I said. I grabbed Matt’s hand. “You’re what I want.” I lowered my voice even more. “I’m just…scared.” I didn’t need to say anything else. He knew all my fears.

“There is nothing to be scared of.” He dropped his forehead to mine.

I slowly breathed in his exhales. Matt wanted me to be honest with him. That was our deal. That I could tell him everything on my mind. “And yes, I do miss him.”

He didn’t respond. But he squeezed my hand.

“And I wish my mom were here. I’ve been thinking about her a lot ever since I found out I was pregnant.”

“I wish I could have met her,” he said.

“Me too.” She would have loved Matt. And she would have loved Miller. She would have understood my heart belonging to both of them. Because her heart had belonged to two people too. Me and my father. She’d chosen me. But she’d still only ever loved my father.

“Matthew and Mason, you need to leave now,” Justin said. “Or I will have someone remove you from the premises.”

I couldn’t help but laugh.

Matt cradled my face in his hand. “You are so loved, Brooklyn. And I know it’s not the same, but my mom and Mrs. Alcaraz are so excited to be here.”

“I know.”

“But…I have an idea about your mom.”

I stared at him. “What’s your idea?”

“I’ll tell you when you get home.” He gave me one last kiss and then helped Mason with all the takeout containers.

Justin turned toward me. “Now get your sexy ass into that dress so we can assess the damage.”

I hated how he’d put that. But it made me smile. I turned to watch Matt walk out the door. He somehow managed to balance the containers in one hand as he ran his index finger across the tip of his nose.

Our secret signal.

I had no idea what Matt was planning, but whenever he had a surprise, I knew it would be a good one. I took a deep breath and turned to Justin. “Okay, let’s assess the damage.”

It didn’t take long to realize that the dress no longer fit.

Justin sighed and stopped attempting to button the buttons that trailed down the back of the dress. “Curse you and your fantastic curves.”

It was a compliment. Kind of. My hips were a little wider. And I was definitely a little wider around the ribcage. Unfortunately the dress was very unforgiving. It had been designed to be skintight, giving the sheath dress a more fitted form. I stared at the lace trailing down my arms. I still absolutely loved the dress. It was flowy and bohemian and as timeless as I hoped it would be. But it didn’t fit at all.

If I was 16, maybe I’d just try to lose a few pounds. But I was 32. And pregnant. And that wasn’t an option. “It’s not going to work.”

“Well, come let the ladies see. We’re all going to figure it out together. But it is a shame that it was already fitted.”

Yeah.I held my hand to my chest as I walked out of the changing room. Not because I was worried the dress would fall. The sleeves made sure of that. But my chest still ached. I really wished my mom was here.

Mrs. Caldwell smiled. “You look more beautiful now that you did when you were a teenager.”

I felt my cheeks flush. “Thank you.”

“But your ass and boobs are way bigger,” Kennedy said.

“Por favor, mi amor,” Mrs. Alcaraz said.

I laughed. “It’s fine. She’s right. It doesn’t fit at all.”

Mrs. Caldwell stood up and walked around me, inspecting the dress. “Well, we need a little extra fabric from somewhere. What if we lower the neckline?”

Justin gasped. “Yes. I love it. Show off the girls.” He started writing something in his notebook.

“Oh.” I kept my hand on my chest.

“And we can use the extra fabric to expand the waist a pinch,” he said.

“How much fabric exactly?” I asked.

Kennedy stood up, grabbed my hand, and lowered it from my chest. “I know back then you were worried about the dress being too sexy. But girl…you’re not a teenager anymore. I say if you got it, flaunt it.”

I smiled. “But seriously…how low cut are we talking?”

Justin tuned his notebook to me. He hadn’t been writing anything down. He’d been sketching. The neckline originally cut right beneath my neck. But the new neckline plunged in a deep V. A very deep V.

“We can find a matching tulle,” Justin said. “Put a little right here?” He drew a line where the neckline originally was. “So it’ll be sheer. Classy and sexy AF.” He looked up from his notebook at me.

I didn’t bother to ask why we couldn’t put a matching tulle along the waist to make it fit. Because the drawing Justin had done was perfect. Kennedy was right. Back then, I’d been worried about my dress being appropriate. I wanted Mrs. Caldwell to like me. And I’d been so nervous picking out the dress with her.

But she was standing here nodding her head. I didn’t think it mattered if I showed up in a burlap sack. She loved me, because her son loved me. I made him happy. And that’s all she wanted.

I turned back to Justin. “I love it.”

“Yeah?”

I nodded. “What do you guys think?”

“I think you’re going to look amazing,” Kennedy said.

“It’s perfect,” Mrs. Caldwell said. “Matthew is going to love it, Brooklyn.”

I smiled and turned to Mrs. Alcaraz.

There were tears in her eyes. “I wish Jim could have seen you. He’d be so proud of you, Brooklyn. So proud.”

I wish he could be here too.If he was, it would have made the who is going to walk you down the aisle question easier. I would have asked him in a heartbeat.

“Mama,” Kennedy said and wiped beneath her eyes. “Stop, you’re making everyone cry.”

Mrs. Alcaraz sniffed. “Sí sí. But he’d be so proud of both mis ni?as. How strong you both are.” She grabbed one of Kennedy’s hands and mine. “And I am proud too.”

She really was trying to make us cry.

“I think we could all use a group hug,” Mrs. Caldwell said and put her arms around the three of us.

Justin put his arms around us too. “I love my girls.”

I smiled through my tears. Matt was right. My mom wasn’t here, but Mrs. Caldwell and Mrs. Alcaraz were pretty great stand-ins.