Forever (Empire High Book 8)

Chapter 40

Friday

Matt

God was Brooklyn beautiful. For a second I just stood there staring at her. I really couldn’t believe this was happening. I didn’t bother to look down at the paper in my hand. I knew what I wanted to say.

“I feel like I’m dreaming, and any moment I’m going to wake up.”

Brooklyn nodded. “Me too,” she whispered.

“For 16 years, I’ve been lying to myself. Lying to my friends.” I looked behind me. “My family.” I looked at my parents sitting in the crowd and then back at Brooklyn. “I told myself I didn’t want to get married. That I didn’t want kids. That I didn’t want a wife. But I did. I just only ever wanted it with you. It’s only ever been you, Brooklyn. And it’ll only ever be you.”

Fuck, I really am going to start crying.

“I’m a mess without you, baby. Each day after I thought you passed away, I died a little more inside. I felt like a ghost walking around the city. And I could only ever breathe when I thought I saw you on a crowded sidewalk or in the stands of Empire High.” I closed my eyes for a moment. “Or when I smelled fall leaves. God, the falls were the hardest.” I opened my eyes again and stared at the tears in hers. “But the falls were also the best because I never wanted the memory of you to disappear. Because I don’t know how to live without you.”

“I love you,” Brooklyn mouthed silently at me.

“I wrote my vows to you 16 years ago. And I still have them.” I held up the paper in my hand. “I read part of them once, on one of the worst days of my life. When we buried you.” It took all my self-control to not start crying. Especially when I saw a tear fall down Brooklyn’s cheek.

I reached out and wiped the tears from beneath Brooklyn’s eyes with my thumbs.

“And I want to make the world right again. I never should have read these at your funeral. Because they were always meant for today. I know I’m not 16 years old anymore. And I love you even more now. But I was a pretty good writer back then.”

Brooklyn laughed through her tears.

“So let’s try this again. Today. The day I was always meant to read them.” I cleared my throat and looked down at the paper. “Brooklyn. When I first met you, you thought you were invisible. But I always saw you. The first thing I loved about you was how your eyes lit up whenever you saw me. Like I was the only one that could make you happy.”

I looked up from the paper and smiled at her. This felt wrong to read these when I could so easily picture reading them at her funeral. But I wanted to make this right. Fix that wrong. I remembered standing up there in the church, thinking that the words were lies. That I hadn’t made her happy. That I’d fucking destroyed her. But that wasn’t true. Because she was standing right here. With me.

“But you were the one making me happy. You were a breath of fresh air in this city. I was infatuated with you before we ever spoke. And I fell harder for you every single day since you first let me in. And I know that I’ll keep falling harder every day from here.” I looked up at her again. “That ended up being very true.”

She laughed again.

“I know you’re scared of time. But I’m giving you all of mine. Every second. I’ll cherish you, Brooklyn. I’ll keep you safe,” my voice cracked.

“Matt,” she whispered and grabbed my wrist. “You don’t have to keep going.”

I shook my head. I really did. “I know that we’re young. But you’ve taught me that the one thing in this life we can’t waste is time.” I shook my head. “Baby, I can’t imagine my life without you. I’d be lost if we weren’t together. I’m only happy when I know that you’re happy too. And it took me being an idiot, but I know for a fact that I’m only really living when we’re together. And I don’t want to go another day without you by my side.” All of this was still true. Except I’d been an idiot a second time without even knowing it. In that pool with Jen. I was such a fucking fool.

“I promised to be all your firsts. First kiss. First love. First husband.” Well, I felt like an idiot again right now. I’d forgotten it had said that. It was an inside joke back then. If I’d read it 16 years ago, she would have laughed. Instead of looking up at me with a sad, knowing smile. I wasn’t trying to make her feel bad. The next lines were about more first we’d experience together. Like our first child. We were going to have one soon, but it wasn’t Brooklyn’s first. And I didn’t want her to ever think I didn’t think of Jacob as a son.

I cleared my throat. “Some of this no longer applies.”

The crowd laughed but Brooklyn looked like she was going to cry again.

“Which is fine,” I quickly added. “Because I don’t care about firsts anymore. I’m standing here, asking you if you’d do me the honors of being all my lasts.”

The smile was back on her face. “I think that can be arranged,” she said.

“But I do want to take a second to let you know I’m not upset about the time we were apart. It feels like this was always meant to be. Right now. Right here. And I am so thankful to Miller for taking care of you when I couldn’t…”

“Matt…” her voice cracked.

“I know a piece of your heart will always belong to him. And that’s okay. I know it doesn’t mean you love me less. And I will do my best to make sure his memory lives on for you and Jacob. I promise.” I wiped away her tears again and looked back down at the paper in my hand. “All I’ve ever wanted was to make a family with you. And you came back to me, giving me my dream. With Jacob. And with this baby.” I pressed my palm on her stomach. God I was so excited about this baby.

I looked back down at the paper. “Brooklyn Sanders. Or Pruitt. Or Miller,” I added. “It doesn’t matter what your last name was. Because you’re a Caldwell now. My wife.” I tried to steady my voice, but it was impossible. “My home. My heart. My best friend. And the love of my life. I promised you that I’ve only ever loved you. And that I will only ever love you. And I’m standing here today, doubling down on that promise, baby. Because I will love you and only you until the day I die.”

This time Brooklyn reached out and wiped away my tears.

“I promise,” I said again, knowing that she couldn’t say it back. Because she did love someone else. She’d lived a whole life with Miller. She still woke up in the middle of the night crying, missing him. But it didn’t change how I felt.

“I love you,” I said. “I wasn’t living without you. I…need you. You’re everything to me. And you’re worth fighting for.” I knew some of her uncle’s last words to her were, ‘You’re worth fighting for.’ I was so lucky to have met him. And he was so damn right. Brooklyn was worth fighting for.

She stood on her tiptoes and kissed me.

I grabbed her waist, pulling her in closer.

The pastor cleared his throat.

Brooklyn pulled back and her cheeks flushed. I loved how she kissed me the same, even when we were in front of a crowd of people.

And was it just me, or were her breasts bigger than usual? Fuck me, how was I supposed to go through this whole ceremony and reception when all I wanted to do was take her right on the bridge?

I felt the pastor staring at me, like he could read my sinful thoughts.

Mason stepped forward and handed me the rings. I had honestly completely forgotten what I was supposed to do next. I was too busy staring at my bride. I grabbed Brooklyn’s hand and slid the ring onto her finger. I’d been waiting a lifetime to do that.

For a few seconds we just stared at each other.

I put my hand on the side of Brooklyn’s face, hiding her rosy cheek. “I think it’s your turn.” I dropped my hand from her cheek and placed my ring in her palm.

“Matt, I…” her gazed dropped to the ring in her hand. “I…can’t.”