Chapter 7
SEVEN
Something was there. Something was definitely there. Nick had started joining Bax on his morning walks on a regular basis, even though Bax was fully aware that he had a thousand other things to do. Walking or jogging through the wintery grounds of Hawthorne House quickly became a daily thing for the two of them, and Bax had never been more excited.
He was even looking forward to Imbolc, despite losing his coven. Once he’d been taken off the group WhatsApp chat, that had been it. He hadn’t heard a single thing from any of the people who had once been as close to him as his own family. Damien probably had something to do with that, since his ex was jealous for attention. Bax should have been devastated by being cast out, but instead, he spent the day of Imbolc working on the arts center’s audit and walking around the house with a spring in his step.
Maybe it was silly of him, but he took extra care dressing and getting ready for the feast that Nick had offered to host in the forge. Nick had insisted that he take care of the food, and Bax had everything ready for a short ritual to honor the hearth and welcome the light of spring into the world. He also prepared by making sure his hair was brushed just so, his natural fiber trousers, top, and vest looked good on him, and he even put on a touch of musky cologne that he always wore when he had a hot date.
Not that an Imbolc feast and ceremony in Hawthorne House’s forge was a hot date. But it was definitely a chance for him and Nick to connect on a higher level. He knew for a fact that Mrs. Turner had taken Jordan and Macy for the night, which meant he very well could have Nick all to himself for a significant amount of time. Part of him wondered if he should pack lube and condoms in his ceremonial bag along with candles and incense, but that would have been rushing way ahead of himself.
He did think about it, though.
Just as the sun was setting, he donned his coat and made his way down to the forge, filled with a sense that anything could happen. Whether Nick was fully aware of his sexuality or not, Bax was convinced he had a chance. Tonight was the night when he could?—
His hopeful thoughts were cut short by the sound of multiple people laughing and chattering on the other side of the curtains of canvas that protected the old forge from the elements. The voices were happy and they definitely belonged to members of the Hawthorne family, but they made a weight of disappointment descend on Bax’s shoulders. He hadn’t realized anyone else had been invited to the celebration. So much for being alone with Nick for the evening.
“There he is,” Rhys greeted him as soon as Bax slipped under the canvas serving as a door. “We’ve been waiting for you.”
“Yeah, you’re the one who has to show us how to do this,” Blaine said, coming over to give Bax a hug.
Bax forced himself to laugh and smile at the forge filled with people. Blaine was there with Alfie and Rhys had brought Early, of course. Rebecca was there with Claudia and Nigel, the two people she was dating. Robbie and Toby were over by one of the tables, helping themselves to punch from a bowl that looked like it belonged at a nineteen-thirties dinner party. Nally was nibbling from a charcuterie board on one of the other tables. And to Bax’s surprise, Rafe, who he’d thought was still in America doing a glassblowing internship, was there talking to Nick by the forge.
They all turned to Bax and called out greetings as Blaine drew him farther into the cozy comfort of the forge.
“Isn’t this fantastic?” Blaine asked as Bax veered to the side to put his ceremonial bag down. “Nick invited us all. He said it was important for you to have a coven around you for holidays like this.”
“I don’t know the first thing about Paganism, but I’m willing to give it a go,” Nally said with a bright grin. “It’s actually really cool.”
“Pagans have orgies and things with their rituals, don’t they?” Nigel asked.
“Shut up, Nigel,” Rebecca giggled, slapping his arm. She looked like she might be up for anything, though.
“I have it on good authority that Pagans don’t always have orgies with every ceremony or ritual,” Nick said, moving away from whatever was cooking in a Dutch oven on the forge’s fire and coming to join Bax at the table.
“That’s no fun,” Robbie said, elbowing Toby as the two of them grinned at each other over their crystal punch cups.
“I hope you don’t mind,” Nick told Bax in a quieter voice as Bax started unpacking his ceremonial elements. “I read up on Paganism, and the internet says that covens are up to thirteen people, and that they’re essential for ceremonies like this. I asked around, and the family was excited to be here to support you.”
Bax could have complained that he just wanted to spend time with Nick. He could have said it didn’t really matter how many people you had for a holiday ritual and that plenty of people practiced solo. But the hope that glittered in Nick’s eyes as he smiled at Bax, brimming with energy, was way too endearing for Bax to complain.
“No, this is great,” he said, meaning it to a certain degree. “The forge looks amazing.”
He and Nick looked around together. Someone, possibly Nick, had decorated the space with evergreen boughs, but also with flowers that looked like they’d been purchased from a corner market. The feast was laid out like the two of them were hosting a small party. Aside from the charcuterie board and punch, there were buns that looked freshly baked, some sort of soup that was staying warm on a hot plate, and whatever was cooking in the Dutch oven smelled amazing.
“I had a little help with the decorations,” Nick said with a wry grin. “Jordan insisted on being in charge of the flowers.”
He nodded to one corner of the forge, where crushed flower petals had been strewn haphazardly over a few of the stools.
Bax laughed, more out of pure tenderness of heart that Nick would go to all the effort than because it was actually funny.
“Where are the kiddos tonight?” Blaine asked, leaning on the opposite side of the table from where Bax had finished taking everything out of his ceremonial bag and laying it out.
“Oh, my mum has them,” Nick said, going suddenly stiff.
“Again?” Rebecca asked, coming to stand with them. She picked up one of the special painted candles and examined it with an impressed face.
Nick sighed and rubbed a hand over his face. “She wants to spend more time with them,” he said.
The rest of the family gathered around the table as Bax set up his altar and positioned the candles the way he wanted them, like the ritual might start any minute and they didn’t want to miss it.
“I just got back from the States and I’ve hardly had any time to see my nephew and niece,” Rafe said. “How often does your mum take the kids?”
“A couple times a week,” Nick said. He paused, far too tense for the tone of the conversation, then blurted out, “She wants to take them permanently.”
The reaction from the other Hawthornes was instant.
“What?”
“That’s barbaric. Separating kids from their dad?”
“Who does something like that?”
They all spoke over top of each other.
“I told her no,” Nick said, raising his hands like he had to settle everyone. “I’m not giving my kids away.”
“Why would she even ask?” Rebecca demanded.
Nick sighed and glanced at Bax. It was like he was either asking Bax for help or searching for forgiveness from him for something that hadn’t happened yet.
Bax replied with an encouraging smile and rested his hand over Nick’s, which he’d put on the table.
More than one set of Hawthorne eyes noticed the gesture.
“Honestly, I think she doesn’t approve of you all,” Nick said. He didn’t move his hand away from Bax’s. If anything, he swayed slightly closer. “She’s very conservative, and she thinks you lot are a bunch of bohemians.”
“Well, we are a bunch of bohemians,” Rhys said.
Bax smirked. Rhys was the least bohemian of the Hawthorne, aside from him, but he had a point.
“She can’t do anything legally, can she?” Early asked, looking nervous.
“No, no,” Nick insisted, waving the idea away. “The worst she can do is make a lot of noise.”
That seemed to satisfy most of the family, but Bax knew Nick better than that now. Making a lot of noise would upset him, especially if she was persistent about it.
Nick cleared his throat and said, “Let’s not worry about all that for now. The pheasant is probably done by now, since it’s been cooking for over an hour.”
“Pheasant?” Blaine whipped to face the Dutch oven tucked into the coal of the old forge. “Why on earth are we having pheasant?”
“I don’t think I’ve ever had pheasant in my life,” Rafe laughed.
Nick shrugged and sent Bax the most adorable, bashful look. “It felt like the most Pagan sort of bird I could find on short notice.”
Bax laughed. He wanted to throw his arms around Nick and hug him forever in thanks for everything he was doing. He wanted to do a hell of a lot more than that. But not with the combined force of the Hawthorne family right there to watch.
Instead, he went with Nick to check on the pheasant while everyone else spread out again, nibbling at the charcuterie board or helping themselves to soup.
“This really is perfect,” Bax told Nick as they stood beside the forge, checking the contents of the Dutch oven as heat radiated around them. There was something about the heat of a forge that had been in use for hundreds of years that felt primal and magical. Perfect for rituals of all kinds. Bax made a mental note to figure out other ways to use the forge in the future.
Assuming he would still be at Hawthorne House when other important celebrations rolled around.
Not that he was in a hurry to go anywhere.
“I don’t actually know what I’m doing,” Nick said.
There was a tightness and desperation in his expression as he said that, even though the words seemed casual on the surface. The way Nick gazed at him, like he was searching for the answer to an important question, filled Bax with the need to give Nick everything he could and more.
“You’re doing fine,” he said quietly, resting a hand on Nick’s arm. “I know this is all new to you, but really, you’re doing great. Just follow your instincts.”
He absolutely meant something other than orchestrating an Imbolc celebration. For a second, he was certain Nick knew what he meant, too. Nick leaned closer, but when Rebecca called from the other table, “Do you have the spoons for this soup over there?” Nick jerked away from Bax.
“I’ve got them,” Nick said, stepping back and reaching for a rustic basket on a stool beside the forge. He picked the basket up and grinned at Bax. “I made all these spoons. I went through a cutlery phase a few years ago.”
Bax had to take a deep breath to shift out of the intimate gear he’d been about to throw himself into. He made himself look at the basket of spoons. The spoons had his immediate attention once he saw how pretty they were.
As soon as the feast part of the evening truly got underway, it was easier for Bax to put aside his expectations and his disappointments. The Hawthornes really were a fun bunch. Growing up, they’d gotten into more trouble, and grown closer together while doing it, than most families ever were.
At the same time, Bax noticed his cousins whispering to each other while glancing in his and Nick’s direction. He and Nick had taken seats next to each other at the table where the feast was served, and the others seemed to grasp some sort of significance in that.
The first hint that something was afoot came when Rafe quietly excused himself, claiming jetlag, and headed back to the house. A few minutes later, Nally went after him.
“I’d love to stay,” Rebecca said as the meal portion of the evening was winding up, “But Claudia has just remembered we were supposed to meet up with some friends at the pub.”
“We were,” Claudia said far more emphatically than she needed to, her face flushed pink.
“It’s alright,” Bax laughed, pretty sure he knew what his cousins were up to.
The others hung on for a little bit longer, probably because they thought it would be obvious what they were doing if they all ditched them at once. Robbie and Toby wandered off fifteen minutes after Rebecca and her beaux, pretending that they just couldn’t keep their hands off each other, which might not have been pretend, actually. Blaine and Alfie claimed they’d just received a phone call from the orphanage that they had to deal with immediately a short while after that. At least Rhys and Early stayed around long enough to help clean up the feast.
While they were gathering up plates and cutlery and putting them in a bin to take up to the house to wash, Bax’s phone buzzed in his pocket. He was certain it would be one of his cousins who had already left texting to explain they were trying to get him and Nick alone, but when he looked at his phone, the name “Callum” popped up.
Frowning, he stepped to the side and tapped to look at the full message.
“ Hey, Bax. I just found out you left Damien’s coven. We’ve got a spot in ours if you’re looking for a new home. Come on over to Gretta’s place tonight and join us for Imbolc. We’d love to have you .”
Bax blew out a breath. Callum was a friend. He’d left Damien’s coven shortly after Bax had joined to start his own. They’d always got along well. Really well on an occasion or two. Being offered a place in Callum’s coven was exactly what he’d hoped for, exactly what he wanted.
He glanced up at Nick, who was over by the old forge, sorting the Dutch oven and the last of the pheasant and veg that had been cooked in it. He had his work gloves on and was using tools to move it to a cooler part of the forge. He must have felt Bax looking at him, because he glanced up and smiled when their eyes met.
Bax’s heart rolled in his chest. Something was definitely going on between the two of them. Whether Nick knew it or not, he had a chance.
He glanced down at his phone again and quickly typed, “ Thanks for the offer, but I’ve got things covered tonight. Happy Imbolc .”
He sent the message, then switched his phone to silent and put it on the table next to him. Then he walked over to Nick and asked, “Need help?”
“I think I’ve got it,” Nick said. “The Dutch oven is too hot to clean out at the moment, but as soon as it’s cool, we can take it up to the house.”
“Sounds like a plan.”
Nick looked up and around the forge. His expression dropped to worry. “Where did everyone else go?”
Bax twisted to look at the now empty forge. He knew the answer to that question, but he shrugged and said, “I guess they don’t feel comfortable performing a Pagan ritual.”
Nick sent him a flat look. “It’s the Hawthorne family. They’ve probably been secretly performing Pagan rituals for centuries now.”
Bax laughed. “I wouldn’t be surprised.”
Nick’s smile returned. “Are you ready to do the ritual part?”
“Sure,” Bax said. “It’s not particularly complicated. The Anglican Church is way fussier than I am about their rituals.”
True to his word, he kept the Imbolc ritual as simple as possible. Nick stood with him as he recited the poem he’d written about Brigid and the joys of the hearth and as he called on her and the elements to welcome the renewal of the light and the beginning of spring.
Nick lit the candles with him, taking the ceremony far more seriously than most people who didn’t know what they were doing would have. It endeared Nick to him even more.
“Is that all there is to it?” Nick asked once the candles were lit, a few more words were spoken, and they stood back to appreciate the glow.
“Well, we could have done more,” Bax said. “And we should have started with the ritual before the feast, but everyone else was here, so it seemed like a good idea to feed them first.”
“Shit, sorry,” Nick said, blushing adorably. “I didn’t know.”
“It’s fine,” Bax laughed, turning fully to him. “You did amazingly for your first time. I can’t thank you enough for doing all this and for making me feel so at home.”
He intended to leave it at that, but something within him wouldn’t let him. He stepped forward, placing a hand on the side of Nick’s face, and lifted on his toes so he could touch his lips to Nick’s.
It was just a brush at first, barely qualifying as a kiss. Bax couldn’t leave it there, though, especially when Nick sucked in a breath and raised a hand to Bax’s waist. He practically shivered with energy, so Bax shifted forward and kissed him more deeply.
Nick was perfectly still for a moment. Everything seemed to hang in the balance. The forge was silent and expectant with only the crackling of the forge’s fire whispering through the air. The scent of smoke and food and beeswax from the candle surrounded the two of them. Bax was just beginning to be terrified that he’d made a terrible mistake when Nick seemed to relax and kiss him back.
It was still only a brief, closed-mouth kiss, but the intention was definitely there. When Bax rocked back, letting Nick go, Nick had his eyes closed.
“Thank you,” Bax said, his voice hoarse.
Nick opened his eyes and met Bax’s. There was so much heat and promise in his gaze, but there was uncertainty and even fear, too. But those tighter emotions were secondary to the desire that was pulsing from Nick, like a seed about to sprout.
“Should we clean up?” Bax asked quietly. He could tell Nick needed something to move out of the intense moment. Nick needed time.
“Yeah,” Nick said, blowing out a breath.
Bax turned to his altar to begin putting things away. He couldn’t wipe the smile from his face, even if it was just a tiny bit gloating. Nick was within his reach. The two of them could actually have something. The possibilities were endless.