Fracture (F-BOMB: Curvy Vigilantes #8)

Chapter 13

13

Lorelei’s mind stayed on Vinnie all through dinner. It was supposed to be a fun night with her cousin and friends, but all she wanted to do was talk to Vinnie. To find out why he was upset. To fix it.

“Do you want this?” Karli asked, dragging Lorelei back to the conversation around them.

Lorelei shook her head, not caring about the last egg roll on the plate in front of her. She wasn’t really hungry. Not after walking away from Vinnie.

“Are you worried about Vinnie?” Karli asked.

Lorelei forced a smile to her lips and shook her head again. Pretend, pretend, pretend. “No. I’m sure it’s just something with work. It’s fine.”

“It’ll be fine. And if it’s not, you can just move in with Cade and me.”

Lorelei smiled. She had the urge to tell Karli to quit pushing. She didn’t want to move in with Karli and Cade. She wanted to be with Vinnie.

But if Vinnie didn’t want her there, Lorelei needed another place to go. She couldn’t isolate herself from the people who cared about her. Even if she didn’t remember them.

Karli wrapped her arm around Lorelei’s shoulders and hugged her tight. “I’m so happy you’re here, cuz,” Karli said.

Two young girls in matching jean overalls. Curly black hair in braids. Blue beads on the ends. Red shirts, white shoes, sparklers in their hands. They laughed together, spinning in circles until the sparklers went out and they collapsed together.

“I’m so happy you’re here, cuz,” young Karli said. She threw her arms around young Lorelei.

“Me, too.”

“July Fourth,” Lorelei whispered.

“What?” Karli asked.

“July Fourth. We were in matching outfits and playing with sparklers. There was a big white house and adults around a fire pit. Water. Maybe a beach? Is that real?” Lorelei looked up at Karli and found tears rolling down her cousin’s face.

“You remember that?” Karli whispered.

Lorelei nodded. “You said I’m so happy you’re here, cuz, and the memory popped up. It is a memory, right? We were young, eight or nine?”

“Yeah. The whole family rented a house for the July Fourth week. We shared a room and insisted on matching outfits for the holiday. Your mom did our braids. We loved to swing them and make the beads clack together.”

“I remember that.”

“You do?” Adam asked.

Lorelei nodded, feeling a piece of herself snap into place. It was the first memory that didn’t terrify her. The first one that wasn’t about her being attacked.

“That’s amazing, Lorelei,” Raina said, reaching for Lorelei’s hand.

Lorelei sat with the memory, trying to conjure up more. She couldn’t see her mom or remember swinging their hair, but laughing with Karli was solid.

Karli was telling the truth about being cousins.

The relief that knowledge brought was shocking. Lorelei didn’t realize she was holding on to doubt about what Karli said. That she questioned if her cousin was really her cousin.

“Are you okay?” Karli asked.

Lorelei looked over at her, seeing the woman next to her in a different way. “I am. Thank you for sticking with me through all of this. For not giving up on me.”

“I would never.” Karli grabbed Lorelei’s hand and squeezed.

“None of us would,” Raina said.

Lorelei nodded, realizing she had the attention of the entire table. Adam and Cade were smiling, and Karli and Raina were wiping tears from their eyes. It was a big moment.

And the one person Lorelei wanted to share it with wasn’t there.

Vinnie had been her rock for two weeks. He’d put his career at risk to save her, then continued to risk it by not going back, even though his boss demanded it.

And on his first day back, he withdrew from her.

Lorelei wasn’t going to let him do that. She was going to find out what was going on and make it right. Get back to where they were before he went back to work. Be there for him the same way he was there for her.

She wasn’t giving up on him.

Vinnie heated up a frozen meal and sat on the couch. His stomach churned, and his mind mocked him.

She doesn’t want you.

You’re not important.

You have nothing to offer her.

He hated that the words were truth. Lorelei was bigger than him. She was better than him. She had people around her that would be there for her, no matter what. People who cared and came running when she needed them.

He’d never had that. He was alone. The only person who ever watched out for him was Marcus. His parents… They barely earned the titles. He didn’t remember his mom. The only memories he had were his grandmother telling him she was a waste of a human and she left him when he was two.

Of course, Grandmother hated his mother because she was the reason Vinnie ended up living with her. His father wasn’t much better than his mother. He worked odd jobs and spent more time away than at home. He was content to drop Vinnie with his mother and disappear for weeks at a time. Something he never did until Vinnie’s mother took off.

And his grandmother? She tolerated him. She let him stay because he had nowhere else to go, but if he did, she would have packed his bags for him.

Vinnie got the hell out of there as quickly as he could. He knew the only person he could count on was himself, so why pretend otherwise? When his grandmother died, Vinnie made sure she had a nice funeral, and the seven people who attended said nice things, but Vinnie only felt relief. He didn’t have to think about anyone else.

For seventeen years, Vinnie didn’t worry about anyone else. Didn’t think twice about what anyone else was doing or if they were okay.

Then he met Lorelei.

She’s too good for you.

“Yeah, I know,” he told the voice in his head. Vinnie sighed and turned off the TV. He needed to do something that would wear his mind and body out. Something that would mean he could sleep.

Preferably before Lorelei got back. If she came back.

He laced up his sneakers and stepped onto the treadmill. He pushed the speed higher and higher until he had to sprint to keep up with the belt spinning beneath him.

His feet pounded the belt. He stared at the wall on the other side of the apartment, the taunts of his mind echoing in time with his pace.

Not good enough.

Not worthy.

She doesn’t want you.

Vinnie ran until sweat poured off his body and his muscles screamed at him to stop. He slapped the stop button to bring the belt to a halt, accepting he’d fall if he didn’t stop soon. Having her return with him crumpled against the wall was not going to change her mind about him.

Nothing would.

Vinnie stalked to the shower. He didn’t want Lorelei to come back when he was in there, so he rushed through his second shower of the afternoon, then stretched out on the couch.

It was a dick move, but it was his only move. She couldn’t sleep there with him. But if he went to the bed, she would crawl in next to him.

He couldn’t pretend he was okay. He had to put distance between them again. She was going to leave, and she was going to leave soon. He had to protect himself from it. Leave first. Make sure she didn’t have anything to hold on to.

He gritted his jaw and told himself it was for the best. She deserved more than he could offer her. The sooner she realized that, the better it would be for both of them.

Vinnie was almost asleep when he heard her key slide into the lock. He sucked in a breath and waited, not moving. He left the light on in the bedroom for her so she could see, but she would notice him on the couch.

Another voice outside told him Lorelei wasn’t alone. Karli. Her family. The person who should be taking care of Lorelei. Not because he didn’t want to, but because people counted on family. Or so he heard.

“Is he asleep?” Karli whispered.

“It looks like it.”

“Are you sure you’re okay here?”

“Yeah. He’s a good man.”

“I know that, but do you really want to be here? After that memory came back, you know me again.”

Her memory came back? Vinnie wanted to sit up and ask her about it, wanted to find out everything.

But he didn’t. If her memory came back, she would definitely be leaving soon. She would know she could trust the others and make the only choice that made sense. She would go stay with one of them.

“I do know you, but I also know him. I want to be here. I’ll be fine. I promise. We’ll talk tomorrow.”

“Okay. Good night, cuz.”

“Good night.” Lorelei closed the door and locked it.

Her silence, and the tingle traveling up his spine, told Vinnie she was watching him. Trying to decide if he was really sleeping or just faking it.

He didn’t move.

After a few minutes, she let out a breath and moved away from the door. The clack of her crutches was quiet and slow. Retreating to the bedroom.

A door closed, but the light didn’t dim, so it was likely the bathroom. Vinnie cracked his eyelid and looked. The bathroom door was closed.

Vinnie shifted quietly, trying to settle the restlessness he felt. He wasn’t one to avoid problems. He preferred to handle things. But nothing felt normal with Lorelei. He was equal parts scared of losing her and aware he would.

He fucking hated it.

The bathroom door opened. Her crutches carried her a few steps out of the bathroom, then stopped. She was watching him again.

He didn’t move. Again.

“I wish you were awake so I could talk to you,” she said. Her voice was a normal tone. She wasn’t trying to be quiet. She was trying to wake him up. “Hopefully, I can tell you about my day in the morning.”

Vinnie held his breath. He ached to hear what was going on with her. To have her tell him about her memory and her day and her cases.

But he didn’t move. She chose Adam and Karli to share with. He offered to help her with her cases, and she chose them. He understood. He wasn’t mad. Hurt, yes. But not mad.

The writing was on the wall. And he was going to wait it out, and let her go when she made the choice to leave him.

Just like everyone else in his life.

He wasn’t asleep. She knew he wasn’t asleep. He was too still. And he was barely breathing.

But he didn’t want to talk, so Lorelei went to bed. She wasn’t ready to sleep yet, but with the laptop in the living room, she didn’t have much to do.

She was restless and frustrated. She’d gotten used to curling up with Vinnie and talking for a while before they went to sleep. And she’d gotten used to his hands wandering her body and settling her before she fell asleep.

Lorelei replayed the memory of her and Karli over and over again in her mind. She wanted more memories. She wanted to know who she was.

Not knowing who she was… It was lonely. Like living a stranger’s life. Even with others telling her who she was, Lorelei felt like she was alone. And she was starting to think it wasn’t on accident.

Karli and Adam never mentioned a relationship. No one who claimed to care about her showed up. She saw no evidence of another person in her apartment, and there was nothing to suggest she had a significant other in her life.

Ever.

A stranger found her. A man she’d never met before, a man who knew her from work, went looking for her and found her. No one else did. What did that say about who Lorelei was? What did that say about her life?

She didn’t want to be alone. She didn’t want to lie on her couch and die. She didn’t want to be taken because she didn’t have anyone.

It didn’t matter that she didn’t know who she was before, Lorelei knew she didn’t want to be that woman again. She didn’t want to be someone who existed separate from everyone else in her life.

Karli had Cade. Adam had Raina. Jessica had Braden. Frannie had Marcus. Even the women Lorelei hadn’t met yet had people. They were paired up. They had their person who would stop at nothing to find them if they went missing.

Lorelei had no one.

Except Vinnie.

But did she have him? Would he be there for her after she was healed? He acted like he wanted her to be there. Before, at least.

Lorelei swung her legs out of the bed and reached for her crutches. She grabbed a blanket and pillow from the bed and tucked them under her arm.

Each step was a challenge. The blanket slipped, so she stopped and wrapped it around her shoulders. The pillow fell. She thought about leaving it behind, but she knew she needed it.

One step after another, she slowly made her way to the door. Everything hurt, and not because of her injuries. Because she knew she wasn’t who she wanted to be. But she was going to change that.

She moved out of the room, one step at a time. Vinnie was snoring softly on the couch, actually asleep this time. He looked peaceful, like nothing could get to him.

Lorelei was a little jealous. When she first got home, she was angry that he was pretending to sleep and didn’t want to talk to her, but now she just missed him. She missed curling up next to him. It was frustrating that he was able to sleep without her by his side.

She debated. If she laid down next to him, he’d wake up. He worked all day and needed his rest.

But she needed him.

It was selfish, but she was feeling a little selfish. The notes in her files led her to believe she didn’t trust anyone. Not even Adam, who couldn’t explain her shorthand.

Lorelei moved the last few feet to Vinnie. His brown hair fell over his forehead, softening him. His lips were full and parted with each breath. His lashes flickered, but his eyes never opened.

His hand was tight on the blanket he’d covered himself with. The white sleeves of his tee stretched tight around his biceps. His legs stretched to the other end of the couch, filling all the space.

Lorelei wished she understood what it was about him that made her feel so safe, but it didn’t really matter. Even having a memory of Karli didn’t make Lorelei want to leave Vinnie. She knew Karli and Cade would welcome her into their home, just like Adam and Raina would, or Frannie and Marcus. Others had offered. Lorelei had people who would be there for her if she needed them to be, but Vinnie was the one she wanted to be around. Vinnie was… different.

Lorelei dropped the pillow next to the couch. She unwound the blanket and let it fall on top of the pillow. She leaned her crutches against the wall, making sure they were secure and wouldn’t fall during the night. She rested her weight on the arm of the couch and picked up her right leg. She’d never lowered herself to the floor, but it couldn’t be that different from anything else. Just farther to fall.

She supported her weight and slid down, doing her best to go slow. The couch was the only reason she made it to the floor with a soft thud instead of shaking the entire building.

Vinnie made a noise, but he didn’t wake up.

Lorelei let out the breath she was holding and positioned herself in front of the chair. Her head was close to the couch, but her body stretched away so Vinnie wouldn’t step on her if he got up during the night. She shoved the pillow into the right spot and put her head on it. She twisted the blanket around herself.

The floor was not comfortable.

She turned on her side and immediately rolled onto her back again. She should have brought another pillow for her ankle, but she didn’t think about it.

She closed her eyes and drew a breath. It didn’t matter if she slept like shit, she had Vinnie there. He would keep her safe. He would make sure she was okay.

He groaned and moved, rolling over and letting his hand fall over the side of the couch.

She looked up at it. She reached up and threaded her fingers through his. He squeezed her hand, and she finally relaxed. He was there. She was okay.