Chapter 14
14
Vinnie stirred when Lorelei cried out. His mind processed her call before he woke.
She cried again, a whimper.
His eyes opened, taking in the room and searching for her.
He was on the couch. The day before came back to him with sharp and painful clarity. She didn’t need him.
She made another noise, and Vinnie realized she wasn’t in the bedroom. She was there. Close. In the room with him.
He looked down and saw her outline on the floor.
She thrashed and flung her arm.
He reached for her, taking her hand.
She stilled immediately. A rapid breath said she woke up. She let it out slowly, as though trying to pretend she was still asleep.
Vinnie let her have the moment, not calling her on it. He rubbed her knuckles, hoping it soothed her. It usually did, but she was usually asleep when he was helping her through a nightmare. She rarely woke up.
“Are you awake?” she whispered, her voice barely audible. Unlike the night before when she spoke in a normal tone as he pretended to sleep.
“Yeah.”
“I’m sorry I woke you.”
“You can’t help having nightmares.”
She breathed in what sounded suspiciously like a sob.
“What are you doing out here?”
Her hand tightened to a fist, the air in the room thick with sudden tension. “I didn’t want to be alone.”
“Did you have a nightmare earlier?”
The sound of her head rubbing the pillow told him she was shaking her head. “I wanted to be close to you.”
“It didn’t keep your nightmare away tonight.”
“That’s not why I wanted to be close to you,” she whispered.
“Then why?” The question came out harsher than he intended.
She was quiet for a long moment. She was still awake, but she was choosing her words carefully. “I had a memory come back tonight when I was at dinner. It was Karli and me when we were kids. Our families rented a beach house. It was so vivid and… fun. I felt alive. I was surrounded by family and happy.”
Vinnie swallowed roughly. He hadn’t lost his memory and still didn’t have any like what she described. “That sounds nice.”
“It was. But…”
“But?”
“That’s not my life now. Before I lost my memory.”
“How do you know?”
She scoffed. “The person who found me was a stranger. The person who took me knew if they left me in my own apartment, no one would find me until it was too late. My cousin has Cade. My partner is married. My friends are paired off. Everyone in my life has someone else. I’m alone.”
“You’re the least alone person I’ve ever known,” Vinnie grunted.
“It doesn’t feel that way to me. I feel like… I feel like everyone is just checking in. But none of them are my person. No one knows what my shorthand means, which says I never let them into my mind. I didn’t have a significant other, or at least not one who wants to admit we were together. And the one person who came looking for me doesn’t want to be around me.”
“Why do you think that?” Vinnie asked.
The darkness of the room hid her from him, but he could feel her reaction to his question. Not being able to see each other meant Vinnie could ask a question like that and not worry about her seeing the longing on his face. The longing he knew he sucked at hiding.
Her friends probably laughed at the poor sap he was, begging for scraps from her. Sitting in his apartment and feeling sorry for himself while she was out with them. Enjoying life and kicking ass and surrounded by people.
“I wanted you to go to dinner with us tonight. I wanted to be close to you. I slept on the damn floor of your apartment because being in the other room was too far from you and you pretended to be asleep when I got home so you didn’t have to talk to me.”
“I…”
“Don’t lie to me, Vinnie. If nothing else, don’t lie to me.”
He drew a breath and let it out slowly. “You’re going to leave.”
“What?”
“You’re going to leave me. You’re going to go back to your life and your world and I’m not going to be a part of it. I wasn’t before this, and once all your memories come back, I won’t be a part of your life. I know that. And I’m… I don’t want to stand in your way of rebuilding that life.”
“That’s fucking bullshit.”
“What?”
“Why… You’re the one and only person I feel safe around right now. You’re in my life whether you like it or not. I want to be around you. I want… to be with you. I wanted to spend time with you tonight.”
“You just didn’t want to share your files with me,” he said, sounding like a petulant child even to his own ears.
She let out a breath that sounded half like a laugh. “That’s what all this is about? Because I didn’t show you the files? I’ll show them to you right now.” She made a move like she was going to get up.
“Don’t. I don’t want your pity or whatever. You…”
“I what?”
“You didn’t feel like you could share that with me. I’m not going to force you to.”
She laughed. “Do you know why I looked at those files when you were gone?”
He shook his head, then remembered she couldn’t see him in the dark. “No.”
“I was afraid I would uncover something horrible about myself. That you would see something that changed your mind about me.”
“Why would you think that?”
“Because I care what you think about me. I want you to…”
“To what?”
“To want me in your life as much as I want you in mine.”
“I don’t have anything to offer you, Lorelei. I’m nothing special.”
“That’s not true.”
“It is. I live in a one-bedroom apartment in a crappy complex because I’ve never had anything. I… I don’t have any happy childhood memories. My mom left my dad and me when I was too young to remember her. My dad moved in with my grandmother, but he was barely around. My grandmother resented that she had to raise me and wasn’t afraid to let me know how she felt. There were no vacations or happy times. I was a burden. My whole life, I was a burden.”
“You saved my life,” she whispered.
“That was doing my job.”
“No. It’s so much more than that. You risked your job to find me. You walked away. You could have lost your job, and you were willing to do it to find me.”
“Because I knew you would be able to stop all of this. I believe in you.”
“All I am right now is a burden. I don’t know anything about what I’m doing. I can’t remember anything about the man who took me or what he wanted to know. I’ve invaded your home, your life. I never asked you if it was okay. I never asked you anything. Just let you take care of me, let you put your life aside for me.”
“I wanted to,” he confessed. “I wanted to do whatever I needed to do to help you. That won’t change.”
“Then how can you say you have nothing to offer? How can you think what you’re doing for me isn’t significant?”
“What am I doing that is significant? That anyone else couldn’t do for you?”
“No one else makes me feel the way you do.”
“You can give yourself orgasms,” he blurted.
She breathed a laugh. “Well, I’m happy to hear that, but I meant making me feel safe.”
“Oh.” Vinnie felt like a dick for going straight to sex.
“I know it doesn’t make any sense. I know no one gets it. But the only time I feel like I don’t have to look over my shoulder is when I’m with you. When you’re right there, making sure I have everything I need before I even know I need it.”
“The doctor said that’ll probably change as your memories come back.”
She breathed a laugh. “I don’t think it will, Vinnie. Karli and I talked a lot today, and the way she talks about Cade is the way I feel about you.”
“What?”
“When she was in trouble, Cade was there for her. He was the person who helped her, but he was also the one who made her feel like she could do anything.” Lorelei drew a breath. “I’m terrified of what’s in my mind. Of the memories. Of who I was. I don’t want to go back to that person. Someone who doesn’t have a person who’s watching out for me. Who knows when I’m missing. Who will stop at nothing to find me. Who’s alone.”
“You’re not alone.”
“Not when I’m with you. As long as you don’t shut me out.”
He was quiet for a minute. Letting her in was… The thought made his chest ache. He wanted her in his life. But everyone left him. Everyone decided he wasn’t worth the time and energy. He wasn’t worthy of loving.
“I’ll try,” he said.
“Good. So will I. Not that you asked.”
He exhaled a laugh.
“Now, will you take me to bed because this floor is killing me?”
“Yeah, I can do that.”
When Lorelei stirred in the morning, Vinnie was still in bed with her. His back was to her, and the steady rise and fall of his side said he was sleeping. For real.
Her ten days were up. She was feeling stronger, and she was not willing to wait another day. She wanted Vinnie.
She kissed his back and slid her hand under the tee he slept in. His skin was warm and smooth. She eased her hand to his stomach, brushing over a patch of hair before reaching his bellybutton. She kissed his neck and moved her hand up to his chest.
He’d never let her touch him, so she wasn’t going to push the limits, but she wanted to feel his skin.
She lifted her shirt off her stomach so she could feel his warmth against her bare flesh. With her hand on his chest, her belly to his back, and her lips against his neck, she knew the moment he woke up.
“Lorelei?” he groaned.
She didn’t say anything, just continued what she was doing.
His soft moan said he wasn’t against it. He reached back and cupped her hip, pulling her body closer to his.
She slid her hand back down his body, stopping short at the edge of his shorts. She teased the soft hair she found peeking out from his waistband and dug her fingers into his flesh.
He groaned again, then flipped so fast her arm got caught between them. He tugged her close, letting her feel the way he’d responded to her early morning exploration, then kissed her hard, prying her lips apart with an eager tongue that plunged deep into her mouth and teased her right back.
When he tried to push her to her back, she stopped him.
He pulled back, looking at her with glassy, confused eyes.
“No clothes. I want to feel all of you.”
“But—”
“My time is up, Vinnie. If you don’t want this, I won’t push, but I want you. I want to feel you inside me. I want to make you feel as good as you make me feel. I want you.”
He groaned and dropped his forehead to hers. His eyes were closed, and his body tense. The only part of him that moved was his cock twitching against her hip. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
“You could never,” she breathed. “I trust you.”
His eyes opened at her words, and his breath hitched.
She cupped his jaw. “I trust you, Vinnie. And I want you. Please.”
“Last night?—”
“Please don’t tell me no.”
“I don’t think I could ever tell you no.”
“Then kiss me.”
He lowered himself over her slowly, giving her time to stop him. She had no intention of doing so. She lifted to meet him in the middle, drawing him down to her with an arm around his neck.
His lips against hers made her sigh. He was familiar and safe. He was exactly what she wanted. She closed her eyes and gave in to the feel of his body next to hers and his lips against hers.
His hand grazed over her body, tentative and careful. He lifted her tank top and spread his hand wide on her belly. When he pulled back, she blinked her eyes open.
“I want to see you,” he whispered, his gaze locked on the exposed strip of flesh. “I want to look at you, Lorelei.”
“Yes,” she breathed. She wanted to see him, too. All of him.
He eased her shirt up her belly, kissing the skin he uncovered. When he reached her breasts, he sat up and used both hands, slipping them under her tank top and palming her breasts. He groaned and drew a sharp breath, then pushed her shirt out of the way.
She leaned up and let him pull it off her body.
He tossed it to the side, then put his hands right back on her breasts. “When I walked into your hospital room and saw you like this, I almost couldn’t walk out. You were so beautiful, even injured and unsure.”
“And now?”
“Now, you’ve given me permission, and it’s so much better. To touch you and see you. And kiss you.” He leaned down and drew one nipple between his lips, swirling his tongue around the tight bud. “So good,” he whispered against her skin.
Lorelei’s back arched to press her breast into his mouth.
He groaned and sucked more of her into his mouth, using his hand to tease the other nipple.
“Vinnie,” she whispered. She clutched his head, threading her fingers into his hair and holding him tight.
He sat up and tugged his shirt over his head, throwing it to the side before returning to her breast.
She spread her hand across his back, loving the feel of his skin under her fingertips. She was torn between focusing on his skin or his lips on her breasts. Both felt like the best thing she’d ever experienced.
Then he moved, lifting up to kiss her again. He parted her lips with his tongue and teased the waist of her shorts.
She lifted her hips to encourage him, and he groaned.
His hand slid beneath the edge of her shorts, inside her panties. They both stilled as he worked his way through her curls to her soaked core.
Vinnie groaned and dipped a finger inside her.
Lorelei whimpered and lifted her hips, trying to get him deeper inside.
He pumped his finger into her, then he swiped his thumb over her clit, and she nearly screamed. “Get your shorts off,” he ordered.
She shoved at the fabric, pushing to get it over her hips as he continued to play with her body. “Vinnie.”
He withdrew his hand from her and took over the task of removing her shorts, taking extra care to get her clothes over her cast. “Are you okay?”
She nodded. “As long as you come back.”
“Let me look at you.”
She resisted the urge to cover her body. She had curves and rolls. She was strong, but she wasn’t thin. Being surrounded by other women who sported the same general shape normalized her appearance and gave her a sense of confidence in who she was.
But with Vinnie’s eyes on her, his cock twitching in his shorts, and the hungry look on his face, Lorelei knew she’d never felt more beautiful. She knew no man had ever made her feel the way Vinnie did in that moment. Like there was nothing she should change.
“Fuck, you’re stunning.” He crawled onto the bed again, settling next to her. His hands slid across her skin before settling between her thighs.
She shivered at his touch and parted her thighs for him.
He pressed two fingers into her and closed his eyes. “You feel so good.”
“Shouldn’t I be the one saying that?”
He chuckled and swiped his thumb over her clit. “I love the look on your face when you come.”
She gasped. “You do?”
He nodded. “You look like you’re so happy. Like nothing can bother you.”
Lorelei snorted. “That’s definitely not how I feel most of the time.”
“Don’t think about that right now.”
He added a third finger, and all thought disappeared for her. He watched her as he thrust his fingers into her faster and faster. She lifted her hips and let the feel of his touching her carry her away.
“Let go, Lorelei.”
She parted her lips and released an exhale. The pressure built inside her, everything swelling between her legs, and then let go. Her body shook and pulsed, her breath stopping while the orgasm crashed over her.
He licked her neck and whispered in her ear, “Again.”
She drew a shaky breath and gave into the feel of his fingers, his cock against her side, his tongue on her neck. “Vinnie.” She cried, she tensed, she swore she blacked out, and she came hard. Hard enough that her ankle hurt, hard enough that she didn’t care.
“Fuck, that was beautiful,” he breathed.
“Please, Vinnie. I want you. Please.” She pried her eyes open to look at the man who made her feel like she was normal. Like she was okay.
He withdrew his hand from between her legs and licked his fingers, then shoved his shorts and briefs down, revealing a long and thick cock that she ached to feel inside her.
Lorelei reached for him, and he obliged, stepping closer to the bed so she could wrap her hand around him.
His dick twitched at her touch, and he groaned.
She wanted to draw him into her mouth, but she wanted him inside her more. She stroked him a few times, licking her lips and imagining his taste.
He pulled back. “Are you sure about this?”
“Yes.” She met his gaze, making sure he knew she understood exactly what she was agreeing to. What she wanted since she stopped hurting so badly. From the day her head cleared and the painkillers stopped being the only thing she wanted, she wanted Vinnie.
He opened the drawer of his nightstand and grabbed a condom. He rolled it down his length, then positioned himself between her thighs. “Tell me if something hurts. I don’t want to hurt you.”
“You won’t.”
“I will do my best not to, but tell me. Please.”
She nodded, knowing agreeing was the only way to get him to move.
And he did. He rubbed himself against her, sending shivers down her spine. He pressed into her, one inch at a time, all his muscles tense from holding back.
She hooked her good foot around his hip and pushed him forward, trying to hurry him up.
He glared at her, but he didn’t fight her. When he sank all the way into her, he stilled. “Dammit, you feel good.”
“Fuck yeah,” she agreed. Lorelei knew she wasn’t a virgin, but she didn’t remember anyone else. She didn’t know the feel of a man inside her. She didn’t know anything could feel so good.
And when he moved, she wondered if sex had ever been so good. If she forgot about it because it was never worth remembering.
Vinnie started slow, but slow didn’t last long. He slammed into her, hooking her left knee over his forearm and opening her up wide.
Lorelei cupped his jaw and stared at him. She had no idea it was possible to feel as good as she did. To have her heart full to bursting and her body tight and tingly all over. To feel like everything happening was meant to be.
To even think being attacked was okay because it brought her to Vinnie.
He shifted his position and rubbed against her clit with his next thrust, and she exploded.
Her orgasm crashed over her fast and hard, stealing her breath and tightening every inch of her body.
He pounded harder, frantic and beautiful, as he lost his mind with her. His face twisted, his lips parting before he surged into her and let go. “Fuck!”
She closed her eyes and felt him twitching deep inside her. How could he ever think she wouldn’t want him? That he didn’t have something to offer?
She’d be dead if it weren’t for Vinnie. And every day, he saved her all over again.