Free

Chapter 27

TWENTY-SEVEN

Nick

The conversation and laughter around the fire feel muted, like I’m hearing it through a thick pane of glass. It’s warm and inviting, and yet I can’t seem to let it in. My attention keeps drifting to Charlie, sitting next to me, her knees pulled to her chest, her face glowing in the flickering firelight.

She leans into me briefly, just enough for her head to graze my shoulder. It’s like a lightning bolt straight through me—an aching blend of longing and regret that takes my breath away. Then, too quickly, she pulls back, creating a void that feels all wrong.

I don’t even think about it when I stand, brushing the sand off my jeans. “Walk with me?” My voice comes out rougher than I intended, but there’s no taking it back now.

Charlie tilts her head up, her eyes catching mine. There’s something unreadable in her expression—surprise, maybe, but also something softer, something warmer. She nods without hesitation, slipping her hand into mine, and the simple contact sends a rush of heat through me.

As we move away from the fire, the noise fades into the background, leaving just the sound of the waves lapping at the shore. The moon hangs low over the ocean, its light shimmering on the water. It’s beautiful. Peaceful. And yet, I can’t stop my mind from racing.

Her hand in mine feels so natural, so right. But with every step, the weight of everything left unsaid presses harder on my chest. She deserves so much more than silence. She deserves to know everything.

But where the hell do I even start?

“How are you?” Charlie’s voice breaks the quiet, her tone gentle but probing.

“I’m fine,” I say automatically. The lie slips out so easily, I almost believe it myself.

Fine, fine, fine.

She stops walking, tugging gently on my hand until I turn to face her. The moonlight catches her eyes, making them look impossibly deep and searching. “Okay,” she says softly. “But how are you really ?”

I want to brush the question off, to make a joke, to say something— anything —that’ll keep her from digging too deep. But the way she’s looking at me? Like she genuinely cares, like she needs to know? It undoes me.

I drag a hand through my hair, my gaze dropping to the sand at our feet. “Probably could be better,” I admit, my voice low and uneven. “It’s just… a lot, you know?”

Charlie steps closer, her hand tightening around mine. “Because of me?” she asks, her voice tinged with uncertainty. “Because I know you just want to be friends, and I don’t think I’m honoring that very well.”

Her words make my chest ache, and I can’t stop myself from looking up at her. “Charlie, it’s not… it’s not you. You’ve never been the problem. I’m just…” I trail off, searching for the right words. “I’m not the man I used to be. I’m not the man you deserve.”

Her brows knit together, confusion and hurt flashing across her face. “Nick?—”

“Let me finish,” I say quickly, cutting her off. My hands come up to cup her face, and the feel of her skin beneath my fingers sends a jolt of warmth through me. “Charlie, you’re… God, you’re so damn beautiful. You’ve always been.”

Her lips part slightly, her breath catching, and I take a step closer, letting my forehead drop to hers. “I’ve wanted you for so long,” I whisper, my voice breaking under the weight of the confession. “The way you used to look at me when I was in my dress blues, the way you looked at me that day at the pier… with so much respect and admiration… I don’t know how to be that guy anymore. The one you used to know. The one you deserve. I’m too broken.”

She pulls back just enough to look me in the eye, her hands sliding up to rest over my heart. “You’re not broken,” she says firmly, her voice steady despite the emotion shining in her eyes. “You’re not broken, Nick. You’ve been through hell and back, but you’re still here. You’re still you .”

Her words cut through me like a blade, sharp and precise. I want to believe her. God, I want to believe her so badly. But the doubt, the guilt, the fear—they’re still there, clinging to me like a second skin.

“I’d like to believe you,” I say, my voice barely above a whisper. “But it’s hard, Charlie. It’s so damn hard.”

Her hands tighten over my chest, her touch grounding me in a way I didn’t know I needed. “You don’t have to do it alone,” she says, her voice soft but resolute. “I’m here, Nick. I’ve always been here.”

The words break something inside me, and before I can think better of it, I close the distance between us. My lips find hers, tentative at first, testing the waters. But the moment she responds—soft, warm, and all-consuming—I lose myself completely.

My hands move to her waist, pulling her closer, while hers tangle in my hair, holding me to her like she’s afraid I might disappear. The kiss deepens, growing hungrier, more desperate. Time stops. It’s just us. Just this moment.

I kiss her like I’ve been starving for her, like every minute without her has been leading up to right now, on the beach, in the moonlight. My hands roam over her body, caressing, exploring, desperate to feel every inch of her. Her fingers grip my hair, pulling me closer, and I lose myself in the heat of the moment, the taste of her lips, the feel of her pressed against me.

When we finally pull apart, we’re both breathing hard, our foreheads still pressed together. “I want you,” I whisper again, my voice rough with need. “I’ve wanted you for so long.”

Charlie’s breath comes in short, ragged gasps, grasping my shirt. “Then take me,” she whispers back, her voice trembling but sure.

The words light a fire in me, and I crash my lips against hers again, harder this time, my hands roaming over her body as she melts into me. I don’t know where we’re going or what this means, but in this moment, it doesn’t matter. All that matters is her.

But of course, nothing’s ever that simple.

A sharp bark cuts through the haze, followed by the unmistakable sound of paws pounding against the sand. Sunshine barrels into us, her cold, wet nose shoving insistently between us.

Charlie jumps back, laughing as she brushes a hand through her hair. “Okay, okay,” she says, grinning down at the dog. “I get it. You’re not ready to share your person yet.”

I groan, scrubbing a hand over my face as I try to rein in the heat still coursing through me. Sunshine looks up at me, her tail wagging like she knows exactly what she just interrupted. “Your timing is impeccable,” I mutter, crouching to scratch behind her ears.

Charlie chuckles, her eyes still dark with desire but softened by amusement. “I guess that’s our cue.”

I stand, reaching for her hand. She takes it without hesitation, her fingers sliding perfectly between mine. We start walking back toward the fire, the warmth of her hand in mine chasing away the lingering chill of the night air.

As we approach the group, Angela spots us first. Her face lights up, a knowing smile spreading across her lips as she winks at Charlie. My gaze flicks to Garrett, who’s standing by the fire, his arms crossed and his expression unreadable. He looks between me and Charlie, and I can feel the weight of his concern.

I meet his gaze and give him a small nod, hoping it’s enough to convey what I can’t say out loud.

I know what’s at stake here.

I know what she means to you.

And I’ll be the best version of myself.

For her.