Friends With All the Benefits

19 Ellie

T he next weekend arrived, and next time still hadn’t happened. I was still kicking myself for turning Ethan down that night. Maybe I could have shrugged my funk at Nat off and gotten back into the mood. After all, I had wanted Ethan for so long.

Instead, we fell back into our usual friendly routine. Ethan no longer brought up sex or tried to initiate it, and I was too afraid of rejection to bring it up with him. Whatever took him over the first two times he came onto me seemed to have vanished. Maybe he finally worked whatever fluke of a minor attraction to me out of his system. Maybe he had come to his senses and was mortified he had gotten it on with me. Maybe it was a good thing after all, because I knew sleeping with him would be a slippery slope to getting my heart broken, never mind that I had already skidded down that slope in the first place and bumped into everything on the way down.

I focused on other things around the house that needed my attention to distract myself from overthinking things. The backyard was finally cleared. The outdoor patio was tidied and the old, rotting furniture carted out and picked up in the last junk waste collection with the landlord’s okay. Today was the day we picked out replacement outdoor furniture, and that meant a trip to Ikea.

“This place is my adult Disneyland,” Ethan’s eyes gleamed as we pulled into the parking lot of the furniture megastore.

“I noticed.” Before I moved in, the cottage was sparsely furnished, and I recognised most if not all his existing furnishings came from Ikea.

“No, seriously, it is. The guided walk is like a massive ride, and each display room is its own attraction.”

I laughed. Ethan wasn’t wrong. “It’s all scientifically calibrated to sell you a dream.”

“And it does it quite well.”

As we made our way through the guided walkway, taking the long way round as per Ethan’s wishes, he told me, “You know, before I…moved into the cottage, I used to come here every few weeks or so and walk this path, dreaming of what a home of my own would look like.”

“You must be lucky to have found the cottage. I recognise our kitchen as a kit one from here. The landlord must have renovated before you moved in.”

“Yeah.” There was a faraway look in Ethan’s eyes. “I got really lucky.”

“Are you planning the interior for your own place in the future, for when you move out of the cottage?”

I had no illusions we would be able to rent the cottage forever. Rentals were by nature transient, and more importantly, it wasn’t Ethan’s or mine at the end of the day. No matter how much we loved it, we had no say in what would happen to it in the future.

Ethan just nodded, but he had become uncharacteristically silent. I left him in his own head, and let my eyes roam across all the displays. I understood where he was coming from. I too had my own vision for my dream space. It unsurprisingly looked like the one I already lived in.

We reached the armchair section and I stopped. “Hang on.” Then I proceeded to try each and every single armchair on display. There were a few new models from the last time I was here, but none of them could measure up to what I had in mind. My old one had been left behind at Nat’s place, and it was long overdue for an update anyway.

“Are you looking to buy one?” Ethan asked. The house still had plenty of space for me to put a large armchair in if I really wanted to.

“I’m looking to replace one,” I grumbled, then explained how I had to leave my favourite old wingback armchair with Nat when I moved out. It had been my reading nook, my cosy space. Andy had claimed it for his own and wouldn’t let it go. At least Nat paid me for it, and I wished the both of them the best of luck with it. I had known for a while that the cushions were sagging and the upholstery was wearing out. Even so, that armchair had been my special place for so long that nothing here quite felt the same.

“You remember where you bought it from the first time, don’t you? Can’t you buy the exact same one again?” Ethan asked. It was a simple solution.

I shook my head. “It’s an old, discontinued model. I’ve been to a few other furniture stores, but nothing feels the same. The only one that feels the same—no, is an upgrade from my old one is one I saw in a boutique place. But I can’t get it.”

“Why not?”

“Because it costs over two thousand dollars. I’m not rich enough to just drop that much money on one armchair.”

Ethan did a double take at the price. “A single armchair can’t be worth two grand.”

His eyes wandered back to Ikea’s armchair display, all of them a fraction of the price, and all of them decent, well-made armchairs. Too bad none of them was the one I wanted.

“Oh, it really does cost that much, but it’s worth it,” I sighed wistfully. “And it’s closer to three with the matching footrest.”

“I have to see this armchair now. Seriously.”

We found the outdoor furniture set we were looking for, bought it and sorted out delivery to the cottage. Then I directed Ethan to the neighbouring suburb of Osborne Park, a light industrial hub with countless furniture stores. My dream armchair was in a little boutique store named Dunholme Lane Furniture. I had come across it one day when I was hunting for my old armchair’s replacement. The cost was why I never bought it, although I never forgot about it.

The armchair and footrest were still there when we arrived. The whole set cost two thousand, seven hundred and ninety-eight dollars. Ethan had to keep reading the sign to convince himself it was real.

The armchair of my dreams was made of faded dark leather, with sturdy little wooden legs. The back was wide and tall. The entire seat was large enough to swallow me whole with space to spare. The sign next to it described it as an antique look wingback Chesterfield armchair.

Ethan still looked sceptical, so I urged him, “Sit on it.”

He obliged, and the moment he sank into the seat, his eyes widened, then closed blissfully. I had sat on it many times before, and I knew just what it was doing to him. The cushioning was perfect—not too soft and just firm enough that one could sink into its caress and never want to leave. The leather was aged and pleasant to the touch. The roominess of the seat just invited one to curl up on it and hibernate for the season.

“I don’t want to get up,” Ethan murmured in approval.

“I told you so,” I grinned, then added, “I’ve been putting money aside for it. In a few months’ time, I’m coming back for it.” The armchair and footrest were going to be mine soon. Then I realised I never cleared it with him. “Are you okay with it? I was thinking it could go in the corner of my room. Or the living room if you’re happy to have it there.”

Ethan just smiled and enjoyed the armchair just that little bit more. “If you put it in the living room, you may never get it back.”

He looked extremely comfortable sitting in it. Suddenly, I could see him in it, and the armchair itself in the living room of the cottage we shared. If I just added a few dark bookshelves behind it, it would look right at home on our plush rug and hardwood floors. Everything looked like it belonged. Everything, even Ethan, looked like it was mine. My throat tightened. I never wanted a daydream to be real so much.

The salesman nodded to us as we left the place. He knew how much I wanted the armchair and footrest and was reserving the set for me for when I was ready to get it. The place was high quality and low volume, so they weren’t fussed about selling fast, which worked out perfectly for me.

As we walked out the door and out of earshot of anyone, Ethan leaned over and murmured into my ear, “You know, when you finally get that armchair, I’d very much like to sit you down on it, undress you and spread your legs. Then I’ll eat you out and watch you come. And then I’ll fuck you and watch you come again.”

All the arousal I had tried so hard to tamp down and bury suddenly flared up in me. I thought Ethan didn’t want me any longer. I had been wrong.

“Maybe it’ll be you in the armchair, and it’ll be me sucking you stupid, riding you stupid,” I whispered back, need suddenly giving me an unexpected shot of bravery. I wanted him and I wanted him to know it.

Ethan’s eyes grew dark. When he spoke again, his voice was ragged. “Home? Now. I need you in my bed.”

I nodded. This was it.

I had never seen Ethan drive as quickly as he did. The moment we got inside the house, he crashed his mouth onto mine.

“I’ve been wanting to do this for the last week,” he grunted when he came up for air.

“Then why haven’t you? I thought you changed your mind.”

“You didn’t seem like you were in the right headspace. I didn’t want to push you.”

He was right. Nat had unblocked me long enough to call and yell at me for “not respecting boundaries” when she got my note about her mother, then blocked me again. It sent me into a bit of a spiral. Ethan had been supportive the entire time, and he didn’t indicate that he wanted to sleep with me at all. I thought he didn’t want me, but he had been trying to be considerate.

“Thank you. I’m sorry. Nat does affect me more than I’d like.”

“Screw Nat. She didn’t deserve you. I’m no longer willing to let her distract you—distract me from taking what I want.”

“What do you want?” I needed to hear it for myself. I could still barely believe Ethan wanted me.

Ethan ran his mouth down the edge of my jaw, down my neck. His hands roamed to my skirt, petting me between my legs, squeezing my backside. “You. I want to rip these preppy clothes off you and pin you down with my body. And I want to savage your tight, good little pussy. I want to feel you squeeze my cock, just like you did my fingers.”

Oh.

I felt myself grow wet between my legs at Ethan’s words. He wanted me. He wanted me very much, and suddenly, I needed him to take me like he promised.

“I would like that very much,” I lifted my wide eyes to his. My hands reached to stroke the front of his pants, and my whole body lit on fire as I felt him hard and ready for me.

Ethan let out a sharp gasp and kissed me again. We didn’t make it to his room. My back hit the hallway wall, and my wrists suddenly found themselves above my head, held in place by Ethan’s left hand. His right dropped to my waist, then caressed my lower back until it came to rest on the zipper of my woollen skirt.

“You have no idea how long I’ve thought of getting this off you,” he murmured as he gently pulled the zipper down. Slowly, he slid the skirt down my ass and let it drop to my ankles, leaving me standing in my underwear.

Then without warning, his mouth was on mine again, taking my breath away. He kissed me like a man parched, and just as his tongue skimmed across mine, a hand lightly smacked my ass. Then my wrists were free. But his mouth kept me locked in place. I felt my underwear pull against my crotch, then rip away. Ethan had torn it off with his two hands.

My body shuddered in anticipation.

I heard him unbuckle his pants, then I felt it—his hot, hard cock against my belly. A thrill shot up my spine. Ethan was turned on and Ethan was going to take me, just like I always wanted.

He pulled his lips away from mine.

“Open your legs, Ellie. Open them for me.”

The moment he pinned me to the wall, I instinctively closed my thighs. Not to keep him out, but to keep my arousal contained. I wanted him so much, I didn’t know how I could keep it all in.

Now, I did as I was told. Something in his voice made me want to submit. Obey. His cock found its way to my slickness, and slowly and deliberately, he stroked his length over my dripping wet slit.

Instinctively, my hip arched towards his. I needed him in me, and I needed it bad.

“Ah, Ellie,” Ethan croaked. “Fuck, Ellie, you’re still too dressed.”

I was completely bare from the waist down, the folds of my naked pussy rubbing against his hot, hard cock. What the hell did he mean?

“You look too proper in this sweater of yours,” Ethan growled.

Oh, yes. I still had my top on. It was one of my favourite cable knits. I even had a collared blouse on underneath.

“Then take it off,” I whispered. I was completely in his power.

Ethan appeared to think for a moment, then said in a low rumble, “No. I believe I’ll keep it on you for now. It’ll make me fucking you so much dirtier.”

My whole body shivered at his words. Suddenly, I needed him in me more than anything.

Ethan seemed to share the same need. His free hand grabbed my right thigh and pushed it upwards, outwards, spreading me wide open. Just for him.

Then slowly, his cock slid into me.

His entry into me was gentle, tender even. He slowly filled me up with his girth, pushing his way deep into my core. Bit by bit, the crushing ache in my body was eased with every thick, hard inch he put into me. My body took all of him and loved it. His breath was hot and heavy on my face, and his eyes were liquid as they gazed into mine. He was in me, and it felt so damn good. There was no coming back from this.

The hand holding my wrists tightened. His brows furrowed.

Then he stopped.

“Shit, Ellie, I didn’t think. I don’t have a condom on.”

He groaned and pulled out. The sudden emptiness made me cry out.

“My handbag. Side pocket. There’s a condom in there. Hurry,” I begged, needy and desperate to have him back inside me.

Ethan didn’t hesitate. The moment he rolled it on, he was back inside of me.

“I thought you hadn’t had sex in years,” Ethan’s eyes narrowed. “Why do you have a condom in your bag?”

“Because I like to be prepared.”

That made him laugh. “Of course you are. You’re always prepared.” Then he exhaled in relief, and I felt his dick grow even harder in me. Then he admitted, “I haven’t had anyone else for years either. I’m not going to be able to hold myself back, Ellie. This is your last chance to tell me no.”

I clenched my inner muscles and rolled my hips against his.

“ Ellie. ”

“Just fuck me,” I demanded. “Hard.”

Ethan swore, then let himself go.

He thrust the rest of the way into me, taking me deep, ramming me against the kitchen wall. My head braced against the wall, and then his hand was behind it, cushioning me even as his hips drove me against the hard surface. There was nowhere else to go, and Ethan’s other hand was on my ass, buffering me against the wall, squeezing it as he locked me in place while he pumped all of himself at me, into me.

I felt all of him, all my nerves ablaze with the abruptness of his claiming. It was everything I didn’t know I wanted and more. In the end, all I could do was cry his name as he lit my body on fire.

I reached the edge of my endurance, and I told him so. If he kept on fucking me like that, I was going to come so hard. But instead of taking me all the way, Ethan pulled out.

“Why’d you stop?” I demanded, frustrated and unsated.

“Because.” He swept me into his arms, then moved me to the dining table. I felt his hand on my back, and then all of a sudden, I was bent over. I heard Ethan growl behind me as he palmed my ass.

“Open your legs for me.”

I did as I was told. There was a sharp breath behind me, a pause and a caress on my backside. Then he was in me again, hammering me even as he grabbed my hips, stopping my thighs from ramming against the edges of the table.

A hand reached for my hair, gently caressing it for only a moment, then it tightened into a fist and pulled. My body arched backwards, pressing further into his.

“My God, Ellie. You feel so fucking amazing,” he grunted.

I couldn’t speak. Not when he had taken me over so completely. All that was left were wordless cries as he railed me from behind. Then I felt a fluttering in me. A throb that Ethan wasn’t driving.

He came hard, his orgasm spending right before mine even hit its crescendo. He cried out as he finished, while I lay bent over on the table, spread out, dripping and frustrated.

Ethan let go of my hair and just held me as he spent himself in me.

Finally, his breathing settled. He had already gone soft, and he pulled out of me, leaving me feeling emptier than I had ever felt in my life. He got up and removed the condom. Then he came back to me, pulled me to my feet, and walked me over to the full-length mirror door of his bedroom’s wardrobe. His big strong arms spun me around and pressed my back into his body as his eyes devoured me in the mirror.

This time, he pulled my sweater off me, leaving the crumpled blouse underneath. Then slowly, he started unbuttoning my blouse, his eyes never leaving the mirror.

“I’ve wanted to do this for a very long time,” he murmured into my ear as he undressed me. “Look at you, so dishevelled. So undone. I love it.”

My hair was messy, my eyes half glazed over from his claiming of me. My breathing was ragged from his feral fucking earlier. He took his time slipping my unbuttoned blouse off my shoulders. My bra came off next. Then his hands were all over me, squeezing my breasts, playing with my nipples, travelling down my naked torso until they found the swollen, sensitive place between my legs again.

“So beautiful,” he rasped as his fingers slipped into me again.

He watched me as he fingerfucked me all over again, enjoying every jerk, every arc of my body in response. I watched him as he worshipped my neck with his mouth, my cunt with his hands. This time, he made it all about me. I came in a violent shudder, my knees giving way, my body fraying in his arms. The entire time, he didn’t let me go until finally, my spasms settled, and I could stand on my own two feet again.

“Next time, I’ll watch you in the mirror as I put my cock in you,” he promised. “Next time, I’ll make you come with me inside you.”

I lay there panting in his arms as I came to myself again. The wildness in his eyes had faded away, and he just held me and rocked me as I recovered from what he just did to me. I had never felt more wanted in my life, and my heart had swelled until I felt like it was about to burst out of my chest. I closed my eyes, and in that moment, I let myself believe that everything would be all right.

~

L ater, after we washed up and lay on his bed to rest, he turned to me and asked, “Are you okay, Ellie? Was I too rough with you?”

“I don’t mind at all. In fact, I loved it all.” I love you , but I was hardly going to tell him that. Sex with Ethan had been a wild ride in all the best ways, but what now? Had he gotten me out of his system?

Ethan smiled and lay back down. “Good. Because I’d like to do it again.”

Oh.

“Me too,” I told him shyly.

“There’s something about you, Ellie, that drives me wild. If we keep doing this, you have to tell me to stop if I go too far.” There was a feral look in Ethan’s eyes as he said that.

“How will you go too far?”

Ethan fell silent. When I turned to look at him, a predator stared back. “Because Ellie, you’re always so calm and unruffled. I liked shattering that. I liked it very much, and the next time, I’d like to tie you up.” Then he backtracked and added, “Forget I said anything.”

But I wasn’t going to let it go. Even though I just came, his words stirred something hot and heavy in me. My voice was husky when I replied, “I’d like that too. I mean, I’ve never done it, but I’d like to try it out sometime. With you.”

Ethan swore and pulled me into another kiss. Then he said, “I’m a lucky guy, aren’t I? This friends with benefits thing is more than I could ever hope for.”

Friends. With benefits. That was all we were. It was like a well-deserved splash of cold water to the face. For a brief moment, I had thought that we had crossed the line into something more. His words brought cold, hard reality back to me. No feelings, no complications were what we agreed on. This was just an arrangement between us after all. Nothing more. Only less.

“Yes, lots of benefits.” My voice was hollow in reply. Ethan didn’t notice.