Chapter 10
10
Au revoir .
Goodbye.
The finality of the last words Noah had said to her was hovering on Laura’s emotional horizon like a storm cloud.
He could have said à la prochaine fois if he’d imagined there could be a next time one day.
Or à bient?t if the idea of seeing her soon was appealing even if it wasn’t likely.
But no… He’d said goodbye when he’d taken her back to La Maisonette after the most magical day – and night – of her life and ridden off into the distance on that big, black motorbike.
Okay… he’d added that gorgeous endearment of mon coeur to his farewell and the look in his eyes had made her feel that she had, indeed, won a permanent place in his heart, but… it wasn’t enough to stop that cloud blocking too much of the light in Laura’s life when she was back in Scotland.
She hadn’t expected it to be this hard to step back into her real life and put that fantasy where it belonged – in a locked space that could only be accessed when, or if , she chose to.
Was that part of the problem? Wondering if this was actually her real life?
Of course it was. She would never have done the things she had done if she hadn’t been stealing a scrap of time from reality to pretend to be someone completely different. Someone who had no need to stay trapped within the perimeters of the life she had constructed so carefully to give her the security she needed.
But what if there was even a bit of truth in what Noah had told her at the end of that amazing lunch almost under a waterfall? Was who she’d been pretending to be in France actually the real Laura? Had she been buried forever beneath layers of responsibility and fear and putting her own desires aside in favour of the people she loved?
The echo of other things Noah had said that day were also threatening to haunt her.
‘She knows what she wants…’
‘She knows what she needs…’
‘Listen to her…’
But Laura wasn’t listening. She couldn’t afford to, when the messages might undermine everything she’d been striving for in her life until now.
She had to stick with the plan of ‘what happened in France, stays in France’.
It was back to 6a.m. visits to the gym and long hours at work, in the office and traipsing all over a significant part of Argyll to provide estimates on properties, secure listings, help the owners get their houses ready for viewing and then take clients through for inspections. She dealt with endless hours of paperwork and admin and design work for estate publications, newspaper advertisements and flyers, made hundreds of phone calls and attended too many meetings.
It should have helped that the market seemed to be taking off and Laura was riding the wave. She’d even sold a gorgeous but isolated six-bedroomed property on the Isle of Mull that had been on her books for over a year.
She should be happy.
She would be happy, she told herself. Very soon.
She was just… a wee bit out of kilter, that was all.
And maybe the fact that she’d started taking an oral contraceptive pill a couple of weeks before that memorable weekend had a lot to do with her low mood, thanks to messing with her hormones. She was getting various degrees of the other side effects she’d been warned about, like faint nausea and breast tenderness and annoying spotting that never quite turned into a proper period but wasn’t going away either. She could make another appointment with her GP, or she could just stop taking it and see if that made a difference.
It wasn’t as if she needed any protection now that she was back home. Who would she be having sex with? Colin Armstrong?
Oh, dear Lord… Laura had been in a meeting with the agency’s CEO within days of returning and she’d found herself wondering how she could have had even a fleeting thought of hooking up with the local silver fox. Noah Dufour had raised the bar to such an extent that Laura had the horrible feeling that she was never going to find any other man remotely desirable. The thought of having such a passionate encounter with Colin that neither participant noticed the loss of a condom made her feel more than faintly nauseated.
Maybe that was why she was still taking the pill. Because she’d felt so relieved that she had taken that precaution in the first place. She’d not only seen the flash of fear in Noah’s eyes when they realised what had happened, she’d felt it herself. The reassurance she’d been able to provide for both of them had been priceless.
And… okay… maybe there was a wee spark of hope she couldn’t quite douse: that it might happen again. What if there was some aspect of the sales process for La Maisonette that meant another flying visit was required? Paperwork that only she could sign because she had legal permission to represent all three of the beneficiaries of their uncle’s will.
What if Noah was thinking about her as much as she was thinking about him ?
The messaging between them, as they finalised their shared project, had changed. It felt as though they were both being careful not to overstep agreed boundaries but couldn’t entirely dodge the new depth of connection between them.
Being unable to easily separate the lines between fantasy and reality did not sit well with Laura. Neither did the uncertainty that plagued her when she was writing those emails or text messages. She found herself adding an x or two after the L she signed off with and then deleting them.
She imagined messages she wanted to write but never would. She woke up in a cold sweat one night having had a nightmare about finding she’d written one and sent it by mistake, the way she had with that photograph of herself in the black dress.
I miss you…
I need you…
I think I might be in love with you…
* * *
It felt like loss.
Even though he’d been as careful as he always was not to let someone become close enough to miss them when they were gone.
There had been something about Laura Gilchrist, however, that had crept into a place in his heart that it should never have been able to reach.
He made another visit to La Maisonette to take a few more interior shots for the advertising. Ellie opened the door to him with a smile that made him wonder if she suspected something trop peu professionnel had happened between himself and Laura during her visit. Or did she know exactly how unprofessional some aspects of their time together had been?
Sisters talked about such things, didn’t they?
He’d love to know what Laura had said. What she might be thinking now.
Was she missing him ?
Casually, as he noticed Ellie watching him as he started by taking photographs of the kitchen, he engaged her in conversation.
‘I hear that you’re thinking of driving all the way back to Scotland.’
‘How did you know that? Oh…’ Ellie shook her head. ‘Laura. Of course.’
‘I think she’s worried about you driving such a long way by yourself.’
‘I know. She told me I was completely bonkers. But I won’t be by myself. Pascal’s coming with me.’ Ellie looked down and smiled at the little white dog positioned beside her feet. ‘Laura might be my oldest sister,’ she added, ‘but the days are long gone when she gets a say in what I should or shouldn’t be doing.’
Noah shifted to get a shot that used the kitchen as the foreground but included a view out of the French doors to the terrace.
‘Was she very bossy?’
‘Still is.’ But the grin on Ellie’s face faded. ‘But… she was also so protective as well. She was like another mother for me and Fi.’
‘She certainly loves you very much,’ Noah said. He hesitated for a moment. ‘She… told me about your son,’ he added quietly. ‘I was so very sorry to hear that you lost him.’
Ellie simply nodded. ‘I don’t think I would have got through any of it without Laura,’ she told him. ‘My partner walked out on me the day I told him I was pregnant, and she was there to pick up the pieces. She was with me the day I gave birth to my baby and—’ Her breath caught. ‘—she was there the day I buried him.’ It looked as though she was blinking back tears and Noah wished he hadn’t said anything, but then Ellie smiled. ‘Laura’s the best sister in the world,’ she said. ‘She would do anything and everything for the people she loves.’
It was Noah’s turn to nod as he agreed with her. ‘She’s very special.’ He reminded himself that anything he said – or how he said it – might get back to Laura. He didn’t want her to think he might have upset Ellie, so he tried to lighten the atmosphere. ‘And yes, she is still bossy. She’s not happy unless she’s in charge.’
The affection in his smile was genuine. He’d seen through the impression that Laura had wanted to make all the rules, hadn’t he? He’d had the pleasure of discovering that what she’d really wanted was to get swept off her feet and made to feel… special.
Adored, even if it was just for such a short time.
Even if it was only a game. Because she would never truly relinquish control of her own life. He respected that.
He knew exactly how important it was to be in control.
Ellie caught Noah’s gaze and held it as if she wanted him to listen carefully.
‘She’s only bossy because she cares so much and she wants to try and make the world a better place. It’s hard for her to trust other people. Or relationships. It wasn’t just picking up the broken pieces for me after my partner walked out, she was trying to do that for our mother when she was only a child herself. Even before our father walked out on us.’ Ellie grimaced. ‘He was an alcoholic and he could get… abusive. I don’t remember much of it – I was too young.’ She paused. ‘Sorry… Too much information. You don’t want to know about our family history. I’m getting in your way.’
‘Not at all,’ Noah assured her.
But Ellie and Pascal went out into the garden and Noah finished taking his photos alone.
Except he didn’t feel alone because he was thinking about Laura. It made him feel sick to his stomach to think that she might have been the victim of some level of abuse from her own father, but it made him understand on a much deeper level why she needed as much control of her own life as he did of his. And why the ‘real’ Laura had become so good at hiding. He could only hope that she wouldn’t be allowed to disappear again. Not entirely, anyway.
When he left La Maisonette a short time later, he drove a little way towards Grasse to stop and take a photograph of Tourrettes-sur-Loup from a distance that could take in the whole walled medieval village on the hilltop, with the dramatic hump of a baous above Vence in the background. On his way back to his office, he stopped at a shop where he made a small purchase. To outward appearances, it was something any visitor to the South of France might enjoy as a souvenir.
But he knew that this would have far more significance for a particular visitor. Someone for whom this gift might bring back memories of far more than the scenery.
He asked for it to be well wrapped.
He didn’t want it to break before it got to its destination.
* * *
A florist’s van was pulling away from the Oban office of The Property Centre as Laura arrived back from an afternoon of viewings.
‘Laura… these are for you .’ The receptionist, Maureen, was admiring a large bouquet of sunflowers in a rustic hessian wrapping. ‘Have you made someone very happy by selling their house for way more than they expected?’ She didn’t give Laura time to respond. ‘There’s a little parcel tucked in here as well. And a card.’
Laura’s heart had skipped a beat. Now it was speeding up rather alarmingly. Surely there was only one person in the world who would think to send her sunflowers?
She tried to intercept before the card could be read but she was too late.
‘Are you listening?’
‘Erm… yes?’ Laura waited to hear the message but Maureen shook her head.
‘That’s what it says on the card.’ Maureen’s eyes were wide. ‘I know… weird , right?’
There was definitely only one person in the world who would send her that message.
Telling her to look after the person she really was. The version of herself that had been hiding for so long.
It took an enormous effort not to show any sign of the squeeze on her heart that took her breath away. She even managed an almost dismissive shrug.
‘Private joke. You had to be there.’
Laura’s entire being was wishing she was there. With Noah. Right now…
‘Who’s it from?’
‘An estate agent I was helping with a marketing project. We’ve just finished it.’ It was getting too hard to keep pretending this was no big deal and her tone became clipped – a warning that this conversation had gone on long enough. ‘He’s just saying thank you, that’s all.’
She took the bouquet in one hand, went into her office and shut the door behind her, leaning against it as she closed her eyes and held the bouquet tightly against her chest for a long moment. She finally moved, put the flowers down on her desk and took the parcel out to unwrap it.
It contained a tiny spray bottle of lavender oil. It was automatic to push the button on the top of the bottle to release a burst of the fine spray.
The scent of it threatened to utterly undo her.
She was back there. In France. With Noah. In the middle of the field of lavender in that space of time they’d been lucky enough to have to themselves.
Laura sank down on her chair. How on earth was she going to respond to this?
In the end, she only sent two words back to Noah, along with a photograph of the flowers.
I’m listening xx
* * *
The flowers had been unexpected.
The phone call from Noah only days later was even more of a surprise.
‘We have an offer, Laura. The sign has only just been put in place. I haven’t even put an advertisement in the window yet but I’ve just had a buyer’s solicitor in my office to make an offer on their behalf – for the full asking price. You have the authority to accept it on behalf of yourself and your sisters, n’est ce pas ?’
‘I do… but I thought this was going to be complicated and take ages.’
‘It can. But this is good news, oui ?’
‘It is.’ Laura forced a smile so that she could sound sincere. ‘Tell me what happens next.’
‘I will send the initial paperwork to you for a digital signature and then I can draw up the Compromis de Vente and start the legal process. After that…’
Laura made some notes as Noah was talking. She really shouldn’t feel this disappointed, she reminded herself as she ended the call. This was good news.
She made a call herself, much later that day. To Ellie.
With an effort, Laura managed to sound almost as pleased as Noah had been about the unexpected ease of the sale. This was exactly what they’d wanted, after all. It was just happening a lot faster than she’d anticipated.
‘It’s done, Ellie,’ she told her sister. ‘It’s over…’
The problem of dealing with the unwanted inheritance of the little house in the South of France did seem to have been resolved.
But it wasn’t the only thing that was over, was it?
Any connection Laura had to France – and, by default, to Noah Dufour – was also about to end.
* * *
Except, it wasn’t.
Several things happened during the whirlwind of the next few weeks as the sale of La Maisonette was finalised, paperwork was completed and the cooling-off period came and went.
Ellie astonished them all by announcing that she was utterly in love with Julien, the man next door, and she was going to spend the rest of her life with him – and his young son, Theo – in France.
They learned that it had been Julien, in fact, who’d purchased La Maisonette.
Fiona came, for the first time in nearly a year, to have dinner with her mother and sister and the evening became a joyful, family celebration for Ellie and the new life she was about to begin.
And Laura discovered she was pregnant.