Frozen Heat

6. Noah

As I skatedon the ice behind my teammates, I couldn’t stop thinking about kissing Jade in my bedroom earlier. It was still hard to believe. Not that I kissed her. That was something that had always been just a matter of time. What was so surprising to me was that she had responded. After I brushed my lips against hers, I almost pulled away, knowing I probably wouldn’t be able to stop if I started kissing her. The only thing that stopped me was Callum knocking on my door. My blissful bubble was further diminished when it looked like Jade was regretting kissing me. I figured I probably had further to go with her before she was mine.

Currently, we were doing our pre-game ice run just to make sure our skates were sharp and working and our gear was solid and in good condition. The blades on our skates could get dull or chipped at a moment”s notice, and worn-down gear could cause issues too. I noticed the looks that Finn, Oli, Callum, and Ryder were giving me. When I was on the ice, I was known for being unemotional and calm, but the smile that kept gracing my lips seemed to make them suspicious.

The coach told us to go get some dinner before we needed to be back on the ice to start the game. Once back in the locker room, my teammates approached me.

“So, what’s with the smiles you keep flashing?”

“I’m not smiling,” I said, blowing them off.

Oliver grinned and shook his head. “I think you’re full of shit.”

I chuckled and shoved his shoulder playfully. ”Believe what you want, but there’s nothing for me to smile about.”

Ryder chuckled. “This wouldn’t have anything to do with a certain rainbow-haired stepsister living with you and staying in your room, would it?”

I shook my head and shrugged because I didn’t need to make this a big deal with them. Besides not knowing how Jade felt about what happened, I didn’t think she would be happy with my bringing it up with them.

We went out to pick up a quick, early dinner. Once we were back at the ice arena, we ate in near silence. We were gearing up for the game. Oliver became more serious, his usual goofy smile and joking demeanor gone. Finn rarely talked anyway, so the change in him was minute. Ryder’s change was subtle, and I was sure he was inwardly amping himself up. Callum was sulking because of Ruby, but he was trying to suck it up. I became more stoic than usual. I tried to rarely show my emotions, but I was schooling my face to give nothing away.

Once it was time to hit the ice again, I was ready to play the hell out of this game and come out with a win. Hockey had been there my entire life. My dad made sure I was taught to skate as soon as I could walk. When I was six, I started playing in a competitive junior sports team league, moving up into different teams as I got older. I met Oliver when I was ten and we were on the same team. We had met Ryder when we were in middle school, but we were in competing leagues, so we were kinda assholes to him.

Taking a moment, I centered myself, then looked into the stands to see if I could find Jade. I spotted her because I always seemed tuned into her presence. She was standing there cheering, and even though she was wearing a jacket, I could see the number fifteen—my number—emblazoned on her chest, and I felt a flash of pride. My number and last name were on her, marking her even more as mine. Showing everyone else who saw her who she belonged to. It was cliche, but guys liked to see girls in their clothes, and even more when they played sports, it extended to their jerseys.

Pushing out the thoughts entering my head, I focused on the game. It was the first game back after the winter break, and it was the last semester for me and my roommates. The energy in the arena was insane. Finn was blocking shots from all over, as any good goalie would. I played center and Oli was right wing while Ryder played left. After the second period, when the refs called intermission, we were up by two goals.

Most hockey games were fairly close in scores, but that didn”t mean anything. We had twenty minutes left to play after this, but we were on our home turf. Knowing Jade was watching lit a fire under all our asses, even the people who hadn’t met her. All it took was word that my stepsister was in attendance, and everyone had rallied to play their best. She was family, and they wanted to impress me because I was captain.

When we stepped back on the ice for the last period, it was like a switch had flipped on the other team. Good thing it was already an all-out war for us too. The first time one of the players shoulder-checked me, I shook it off and let it roll off my back. The second time it happened, I was pissed. When the same fucker came toward me again, I dropped and hip-checked him into the boards. This knocked the player off balance, and he fell over. I kept skating past him, smiling and blowing him a kiss. The good mood and energy stayed amped up, and we ended up winning the game by two points. The cheers of the students and fans in the stands were deafening, but we rode high on it.

I had told Jade before I left for the game that it would probably be easier for her to meet us back at home. If we won, we could go out to celebrate somewhere after that. If we lost, we’d want to be home. Regardless of the results, trying to find us after a game would be chaos. I let the guys know she was going to be waiting for us at home, so we all double-timed it to get changed into street clothes after taking quick showers. Ryder and Finn were going to drive back to their house after dropping us off, as they had a party they were going to.

Jade was already home when Finn pulled into the driveway. Oli, Callum, and I grabbed our shit from my SUV, bade farewell to Finn and Ryder, then walked inside. I stood wondering where Jade was when she walked straight past us with a large load of laundry. Callum gave us a knowing look because he wasn’t totally on board with the project of protecting Jade. He just wanted to win Ruby back. He walked up to his room while Oli and I waited for her to put her clothes in the washer, listening to her turn it on. She came back out and seemed surprised we were waiting for her. No one said anything as we stared at each other. She was the first to break the silence, and again, I was hit by how unintimidated she was standing there with the complete attention of two large guys.

“Do you guys get how unhinged and weird your behavior is sometimes?” she blurted.

I was a little confused, but I also had no idea what kind of intel she was running on.

Oli was the first to respond. “How and why are we weird?”

“Oh, come on, Oliver. You know what I’m talking about.” She narrowed her eyes on us. “You guys came to that party because you were weirdly jealous that I was there with some other guy when none of you acted like you had any romantic interest in me, but then you threatened Jacob. I saw him at the game, and he couldn’t get away from me fast enough after he told me that he needed to stay away from me.” She raised her hands and dropped them in exasperation. “Who does that?”

I chuckled while Oli looked at me like I had lost my mind. I walked closer to Jade.

“So, let me get this straight. Our going to the party and protecting you is weird, and telling that fucking punk to stay away from you was unhinged? You have no idea what unhinged is, little sis.” I reached out and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “Did you stop to ask yourself why we did that?”

She inhaled shakily and looked at me like she wanted to strangle and kiss me at the same time. I was all for that shit, maybe both at the same time if it was her doling out the punishment. Oli knew how I felt about her, and my teammates had a vague understanding. The only unknown here was how she felt about me. There had to be something, or she wouldn’t have kissed me back.

Oliver was the next to get closer to her. “He was trying to get you drunk, Jadey, and not to show you a good time or trying to help you let loose. He was trying to get you drunk enough to sleep with him.”

I wondered, not for the first time, why he was allowed to call her Jadey and exactly when that had started. I knew they had been bonding, but how far did that go?

She looked less pissed. She closed her eyes and shook her head. “I got my drinks all night and didn’t drink from already opened cups. I’m not stupid.” She opened her eyes again and pinned me with her gaze then looked at Oli. “I started to feel tipsy, and I didn’t want to make myself a target and be around all those people I didn’t know. So, I went upstairs to sober up a bit, and Cora went with me so I wouldn’t be alone. I remember snatches of last night, and while I don’t remember everything, I know that.”

“Yeah, you just seemed pretty drunk last night. We’re not trying to be overbearing or keep you from having fun, but we won’t sit back and let other people fuck with you or try to hurt you,” Oli told her, and I agreed, nodding.

“Look, I get that you guys want to help. Just try to be less extreme. I will be okay, I promise,” she said. “Congratulations, by the way, on the win. You guys killed it!”

We both thanked her. Oli looked like he wanted to say something else, but I gave him a look. He scoffed and left us alone.

Jade looked at me like she was unsure of what to say, but she drew in a deep breath and let it out. “I do appreciate you trying to watch out for me, Noah, but something needs to change.”

I nodded and stayed quiet. She took the hint that I wasn”t going to say anything, so she nodded and left, heading toward our shared room. All I could do was smile because I had every reason to. Our team had just won a hockey game, I had kissed Jade earlier, and I was going to be sleeping next to her again tonight. Shit was working out for the better.

After Jade confrontedus about what happened at the party, it seemed she was trying to be more patient. Over the next week, I could see that sometimes she was about to get frustrated with me, but she would take a deep breath and let it go. She traveled to campus with us every day, and we met when all our classes were over so we were spending a lot of time together. I also noticed she was looking at me differently now. It was subtle, and she thought she was being sneaky, but I had so much experience studying her every move that I caught it.

Today, we were all just sitting around chilling. We won our second game of the new semester last night and had a hockey meeting today. Jade was apparently going to a party again with Cora later tonight. Jade and Oliver were playing a card game, and their laughing and joking was getting to me. She was laughing with him and smiling like she was so happy. With my best friend. I knew I suggested she stay with me, but she was burrowing deeper into my life, and now it was like she was fucking everywhere, and I still was no further along with her being mine. No matter what my expectations when she moved in, it certainly wasn”t this.

I knew I didn’t want her to go to that party tonight. I knew she wanted to go out and have fun with her friends, but I didn’t think this was the best way. I rose from the couch and walked to the kitchen, calling for Jade over my shoulder.

“Hey, Jade. Will you come here for a minute?” I stood in the kitchen waiting for her.

When she entered the room, she looked at me like she was unsure. She lifted herself up and sat on the counter. “What’s up?”

“I don’t think you should go to that party tonight, Jade.”

“I think you need to realize that I’m an adult, Noah. I know it’s a new concept for you, but I’m going with Cora. The one who was keeping me safe at the last party. Besides, I already told her that Jacob needs to stay away from me. I’m sure he will.”

“Why do you act so fucking naive?” I yelled, losing my patience with her.

My shout brought Oli running into the kitchen quickly, as if he’d been waiting for something to happen. My empty hands balled into fists. I knew that asshole ex of hers did something to her, but I wasn”t sure what. I assumed it would make her cautious. Not reckless.

“Why do you keep doing this?” she asked.

I opened my mouth to tell her it was my job to protect her, but before I could say anything, she held up her hand to keep me from talking. She got down from the counter and walked up to me, stopping when she was close.

“I don’t want to hear the bullshit that you’re protecting me. It’s not cutting it anymore because you could make excuses for anything and say you’re protecting me. You can’t ever give me a straight answer. This is my life, not yours.” She pointed at herself before pointing to my chest. “Noah, I”ve been through a lot of crap. I don’t need your defense. I appreciate you wanting me to be safe and happy, but I’m not a damsel for you to save.” She turned and looked at Oliver. “That goes for you too, Oli.”

“I don’t mean to interrupt a speech that I’m sure is long overdue, but if you don’t remember the night of that party, we helped you,” Oli interrupted her, and I could breathe freely because he said what I needed.

“And I told you that there was no danger. I was already away from Jacob and with someone I could trust.”

“That’s where you are wrong, and I’m learning your fatal flaw, Jadey,” Oli said.

I was glad he was calling her out. Maybe she would be more receptive since it wasn’t coming from me. But he wasn’t done yet. He walked closer to us because Jade was standing so close to me.

“You have been through some shit, and none of us can understand that. But you are not the only one who has gone through stuff. This doesn”t make you invulnerable. It shades your judgment and makes you think that, sure. It’s not true, though. Your friend was having a hard enough time keeping you from leaving that room, and any guy there with bad intentions, who wanted to get in that room with you, could have.”

”You”re right. You have no clue what I”ve been through, so don”t stand there and pretend you are just looking out for me,” Jade gritted out. ”I shouldn’t rely on you guys. I don”t want to.” She had this faraway look in her eyes, and I knew she was afraid more than anything.

”What”s wrong with trusting us, relying on us?” Oli asked gently.

”There”s everything wrong with it!” she yelled. ”I thought I was safe once. I trusted someone, but they used that against me, and it was the biggest mistake of my life! There”s no way I will allow that to become my life again.”

“You say we don”t know what happened, so tell us,” I said.

I always wanted to know what that guy did. The details. She was messed up about it for a while. My dad mentioned therapy, and when I visited home, I heard screaming in the middle of the night when she woke up from nightmares.

Before she even spoke, I knew she wasn’t going to tell me. She had tears pooling in her eyes and was shaking her head back and forth.

”I can”t—” She put her hand over her heart and appeared to be struggling to breathe.

Oliver gently grabbed her forearm and led her to a chair to sit down. He crouched in front of her, trying to walk her through taking deep breaths. Oli was always the one I could rely on to be logical in the face of crisis or danger. It was why he was so good at hockey. He didn”t let his emotions take over when he was playing. He didn”t shut his emotions off like me, but he still was level-headed and had a course of action he took. I was too lost in anger to do anything.

What the hell did that asshole do to her to make her react like this? My rage wasn”t fueled by any macho bullshit like he touched what was mine. It was that she trusted him, and he destroyed her. He hurt her, and that was something I was trying, with everything in my being, to keep from happening. I had no idea what he did to her, and it bothered me that I was in the dark about it. To want to hurt and maim someone and not know why was a disconcerting feeling. Her getting hurt was not happening again. That thought alone snapped me out of my trance.

I walked over to where Jade was sitting and crouched down next to Oli. I grabbed her chin gently, lifting it so she could look at me before I cupped her face.

”It”s painful—I can see that—and if you”re not ready to tell us, that”s okay, but we are all here for you, J. You take care of us, and we”re going to take care of you. We told you: we won”t stand by and let someone hurt you. You”re gonna have to accept that.”

Unable to keep from touching more of her and wanting to kiss her again, I did the best I could and laid my forehead against hers. She made a strangled hum and gripped my forearms as my hands were still cupping her cheeks.

”Just let us in.”

Jade shook her head, the tears in her eyes starting to fall. I did the impulsive thing and stroked the skin under my fingers. Wiping the tears, I looked at her beautiful orbs.

”It”s not that easy,” she choked out.

”Jade, neither of us has ever hurt you,” I stated.

She looked down at her hands, and it frustrated me that she was trying to shut me out. Placing my fingers under her chin, I made her look at me again.

”You frustrate me so much, and we push each other”s buttons. I do stuff that annoys you and think it’s for your own good, but if you truly asked me to stop anything, I would. None of us ever want to force you to do something you really don”t want to do. I”ll repeat it—never again,” I said, trying to convey my promise in those few words.

I wanted her, with every fiber of my being, but even if I never got to be with her, I would still protect her and keep her safe. Even if it meant fighting her own demons. I would eradicate every one of those fuckers until I was the only one haunting her. She would never be free of me.

She pulled away from me minutely, and the look on her face was hard to decipher. Maybe a mix of surprise, disbelief, and hope. As though it surprised her I had said that, disbelief that someone wasn”t trying to take her choices away, and hope that it was true? I could work out some things she wasn”t saying, and whatever her ex did, he did things she didn”t want, or maybe he tried to make her believe she did. She nodded her head. I kissed her forehead, and she leaned into it.

Before we could talk any further, Oli reminded me it was time to head to our meeting. After making sure Jade was okay, we all went to go get changed, in case Coach wanted to make us do some drills. When he was angry, he used to make us practice if we lost. We won again last night, so it was less likely, but we never knew what would set him off. For the first time in a long time, I didn’t want to leave for hockey. It was my life and what I wanted for my career, but Jade had been my obsession for so long. I felt like, given enough time, I could make her see me the way I wanted her to.