Chapter 1
Chapter One
Ripley
“Your husband is a legend in these parts.” The cowhand next to me watched in awe as Cade practiced throwing his rope around. He wasn’t wrong. Well, not about the legend part, at least.
“Thanks. He’s pretty amazing.”
I got so tired of telling people he was not my husband, and I would likely never see the onlooker again, so it really didn’t matter. Cade was my best friend. We’d been friends since high school, but he was not my husband. I’d married his best friend. Randy and Cade had been inseparable all their lives, and when I decided to marry Randy, I knew Cade was part of the deal. It hadn’t been terrible in the slightest. Cade was a great guy, and he’d always respected our very clear boundaries, and made sure that Randy and I had an adequate amount of Cade-free time.
Being married to a traveling rodeo star had been a lot of fun, but a lot of work. Especially when I decided to take on Cade’s needs, as well. What was an extra load of laundry or plate at the table when I was already doing it for Randy? It just made sense, and both men always made sure to know that I was appreciated, and spoiled me silly.
The memory of the three of us together made me smile. The sadness had faded over the last three years since Randy passed away, but I would probably miss him for the rest of my life. And I knew Cade missed him, as well.
“Hey darlin’.” Cade came up to me, his rope now wrapped neatly over his shoulder. “Ready to hit the road?”
“Yep, the bus is all packed and ready to roll.”
“I don’t know what I’d do without you.” He winked, and I rolled my eyes.
“Probably starve and wither away in dirty clothes,” I sassed.
Cade chuckled and threw his arm around me. “Probably. Speaking of food…”
“There’s a roast beef dip waiting with your name on it.”
“You’re a fucking saint.” He kissed the top of my head before removing his arm and gesturing for me to go up into our tour bus ahead of him.
“Don’t you forget it. You want me to drive so you can eat?”
“Nah. We’re not on a time crunch, and it's only a couple of hours to Rawhide from here. Did you eat your sandwich already?”
“I nibbled while I was cooking, and I think I ate more than I intended to, and now I’m not hungry.”
“You’ve been doing that a lot lately. I thought that was a habit you’d worked hard to break?” He raised a brow as he took off his boots and stored them and his rope in one of the little storage cabinets on the side of the bus.
“I know, I know,” I said, trying to brush him off.
It was a terrible habit, and one I’d easily fallen back into recently. Randy had hated it, and made it a rule that I needed to sit down and enjoy my meals with them unless they worked late, or something along those lines. The rules my late husband made for me to help keep me safe and healthy had faded away, just as the pain had, and they were pretty much non-existent at this point. Cade gave me shit about them, but never really stepped in. Which was fine. Cade wasn’t my husband, and even though he had co-topped me with Randy in the dungeon on more than one occasion—nothing more than kink play between friends, of course—I wasn’t his responsibility. Hell, he didn’t even have to let me stay on tour with him. But he told me he’d promised Randy he’d look after me, and he didn’t think he could do that from afar. I liked to think it was also because he liked to have me around, but sometimes the lies in my head told me otherwise.
I had plenty of money in savings to live very comfortably for the rest of my life if I decided to settle somewhere, but nowhere really called to me. I liked being on the go. Different cities and towns all over the country. Basically, if we could drive the bus there, we'd go. I’d seen every obscure tourist trap, been to countless state and county fairs, and eaten at a multitude of best-kept-secret restaurants. Life really was an amazing adventure, and I wanted to keep experiencing it, but I didn’t want to burden Cade.
He had always said he would never settle down, but I knew he was going to fall hard and fast as soon as he found the right woman, and I didn’t want to be the one to get in the way of that. It didn’t even matter that we were in our forties. Love didn’t follow a timeline.
Although, every time I thought of him finding and falling for the right woman, a small part of me seethed. I immediately brushed those feelings off, of course.
Climbing into the bus, I snagged my tablet and pulled up the local homes for sale in the area we’d be passing through. Maybe if I found the right place it would feel less like giving up life on the road, and more like starting a brand-new adventure.
“What’s that?” Cade asked, looking over my shoulder.
“Nunya.” I hugged my tablet to my chest and pulled away.
“Okay.” He took a step back and put his hands up in a placating manner, but the look on his face was confused. If he’d seen what I was doing, it could hurt his feelings, whether it was in his best interest or not. I needed to be more careful.
“I put the address to the Ranch in the GPS. We should get a move on if you want to get there before midnight.”
Cade raised a brow. “I’m going to eat, and Master Derek assured me it didn’t matter what time we got there. If you’re asleep, then we can just sleep in the bus tonight and check into our rooms in the morning.”
I wouldn’t be asleep. I had a very nervous energy flowing through me knowing what our next stop was. Rawhide Ranch, premier BDSM resort and sanctuary for lost Littles and submissives. My stomach tightened thinking about it.
It had been years since anyone had touched my body in any sort of dominating way. Cade was generous with comforting, friendly hugs and such, but I needed more. I craved more, and I was hoping beyond hope I could find someone to give it to me. It couldn’t be Cade, despite the fantasies I’d started to have about him in those moments right before I went to sleep at night. Nope. He was totally off limits. So, Rawhide Ranch was my only current hope to have those needs fulfilled.
Then there was the Littles’ component…
“Earth to Ripley.” Cade waved his hand in front of my face.
“Sorry, what was that?”
“I said, are you okay with that, or do you want me to wake you up?”
“Oh, uh… it doesn’t matter. I’m going to go get some work done. I need to log all the finances from this stay and bill the venue for your time.”
Cade sighed and shook his head. “You’re acting squirrely. Are you nervous about staying at Rawhide?”
Nervous? Yes, but for reasons Cade was not privy to, and I would not be sharing. Randy and Cade were both Doms, and we didn’t keep our BDSM lifestyle a secret from each other. Well, most of it. There was a tiny part Randy and I kept to ourselves. A tiny piece of me that was too embarrassing to share with anyone, even our closest friend. It was a side of me that had only come out every once in a while, even with Randy. But each time I had loved it more and more, and each time I’d gone deeper.
There was something so intimate, so right about regressing to a younger version of myself and just letting Daddy take care of me. I’d never felt so free, so content. I desperately wanted that feeling again. I missed it more than anything else, which I tried really hard not to feel guilty about. But I also didn’t see it ever happening again for me. As I got older, the craving to regress felt more and more ridiculous and embarrassing. It shouldn’t have been something I wanted or needed at this age, so it was probably better to stay away altogether.
Rawhide would give me the opportunity to engage in BDSM play again, and that would have to be enough. I would be steering clear of the Littles’ Wing altogether. It was better for everyone that way.