Guarded from Treachery (Blade and Arrow Security Bravo Team #4)

Chapter 13

13

ISLA

T rying to concentrate on work is an exercise in futility.

I’ve been hunched over my laptop for over an hour and all I’ve managed to do is return a few emails. Forget the reservations I’m supposed to be making for my boss’s upcoming trip to Europe or the caterers I need to contact about the company’s yearly retirement celebration. Those require far more brain power than I’m capable of right now.

It’s not that I’m trying to procrastinate. I want to be the conscientious employee I claimed to be in my interview. I want to prove to my boss that I can still get all my work done even though I’m working remotely and not from the offices in Dallas.

But it’s so hard .

Ever since yesterday morning, when Matt told me about the lead he found, it’s been a struggle to keep my mind from wandering. And not to nice places, like it did before, like Matt’s adorable smile and how incredible it was kissing him. No. Since yesterday, my mind is filled with all sorts of terrible possibilities.

What if he finds the man who did this to me and it’s someone I know? Someone I trust? What if Matt finds proof of my worst suspicions, and I’m forced to face a reality I’ve been trying to avoid?

What if he discovers the people behind this somehow—I’m not sure how, but my thoughts aren’t entirely rational at the moment—have a claim to my baby?

Or.

What if he finds evidence this is all in my head, and I fabricated this whole story without realizing it?

God . I can’t even imagine. The hours, days , Matt and his team have spent helping me, not once bringing up expenses or compensation. And if it’s all for nothing? If we discover I had some sort of mental break after finding myself knocked up after a one-night stand I don’t remember?

I don’t think it’s true. I really don’t. But until I know the truth, I still worry.

If nothing else, at least I know Matt’s safe. He called me late last night—or early this morning, really—to tell me he was back at Blade and Arrow and would see me after breakfast. When I asked him what he found in Dallas, he wouldn’t give me an answer, simply saying, “It’s late, Isles. Too late to get into this now. I’ll be over in the morning. It’ll be okay. I promise.”

So at this point, all I know is Matt, Erik, and Dante went to Dallas to investigate some sort of clue, the repercussions of which are serious enough that Matt wouldn’t tell me over the phone.

Not nothing, then. If he’d come up empty, he would have just told me.

Is it any wonder I can’t get any work done?

My nerves are so tightly wound, I’m jumping at the most inconsequential noises—the refrigerator kicking on, a door shutting next door, and even the tiny ding of an email arriving on my computer.

I want to call Matt and beg him to come over. To just tell me already and put me out of my misery. But each time my hand twitches towards my phone, I remind myself, It’s his job. Blade and Arrow are professionals. They know what they’re doing.

Still. I just want to know.

Just as I’m starting my search—again—for the best price for a first-class ticket from Dallas to London, a quick series of knocks sound at my door. Startling, I smash my knee on the underside of the dining room table, and the little I had for breakfast threatens to make a reappearance.

Though I know it’s Matt—who else would it be—I still snatch up my phone to check the video feed from the camera above the front door. At first glance, I see Matt, and the band wrapped around my chest releases.

Then, less than a second later, I notice the two other people with him, and the band tightens again.

Rhiannon and Sarah.

Rhi’s presence isn’t unexpected, since she’s been helping with my case since the beginning. And we’ve become friends, so I’m not surprised to see her here. But Sarah? Why did Matt bring her along?

But I have a sneaking suspicion I know why.

Sarah’s a counselor. Not that I’ve ever talked to her as anything but a friend, but if Matt thinks I’m going to be upset by what he’s about to tell me, he might have asked Sarah to come for extra support.

What is he going to tell me?

Now that the proverbial moment of truth has come, I’m torn between racing to the door and dragging my heels.

Maybe I don’t want to know.

And thirty seconds later, as I open the door to a trio of grim faces, my jittery anxiety turns to dread.

What did they find?

“Hey, Isles.” Matt steps inside first and pulls me into his arms. His lips press against the top of my head as he hugs me close, and I bury my face into his neck, letting his familiar scent seep into me for a moment.

Then he draws back and looks at me, his gaze sweeping across my face, lingering on the purplish smudges beneath my eyes. His features crease with concern, and he lightly brushes his finger across the dark shadows. “Did you sleep at all?”

I force a smile and an overly bright tone. “Are you saying I look tired?”

To his left, Rhiannon snorts. “Nice, Matt. Maybe you should compliment your girlfriend first before commenting on how tired she looks.”

Matt shoots a quick glare at her as his ears go pink. “I didn’t mean it like that.” Then he swats her arm. “But thanks for pointing it out.”

To me, he says apologetically, “I’m sorry, Isles. You look beautiful. I just…”

But my brain is stalled on girlfriend.

And for a blissful moment, that’s all I can think about. Am I Matt’s girlfriend? We haven’t talked about it, not when things are still so new, but I like the sound of it.

My boyfriend . It seems too small a word to describe the feelings I have for him.

“It’s okay,” Sarah says with a comforting smile. “I’m sure Isla knew what you meant.”

“Yes,” I reply quickly. “I did. And it’s fine. Nothing to apologize for.” I catch Matt’s hand and give it a little squeeze. “I slept.” At his raised eyebrows, I amend, “Well, sort of. But I’m fine.”

“Okay…” Matt frowns. “If you’re not feeling up to this now, we can come back?—”

“No.” Louder than I intended it to come out, I take a breath and repeat more softly, “No. I’m fine. I just want to know.”

His frown deepens. “Alright. But if you need a break?—”

“Matt.” There’s a note of exasperation in Rhiannon’s voice. “I think you’re freaking Isla out more by dragging this out.”

“Shi—shoot.” Remorse darkens his eyes. “I’m sorry. I’m not trying to make this harder.” Pausing, he squares his shoulders and sets his jaw. “Rhi’s right. Dragging this out isn’t helpful.”

We all gather in the living room, Matt beside me on the couch, and Rhiannon and Sarah in the chairs across from it. Matt shifts so he’s mostly facing me and takes my hand in his. Then he sucks in a deep breath. “Okay.”

Holding his gaze, I work to keep a quiver from my voice as I say, “I’m ready. Just tell me.”

Matt hesitates. His fingers convulse around mine. Regret flickers in his eyes. “So you know we found a connection between the men at the doctor’s office and the dark web.”

I nod, feeling like I’m moving in slow motion. “Yes.”

“I’ve been investigating, first trying to find the post they mentioned, and then looking for the source.” He pauses, guilt shadowing his features. “I found the post, but not the person who created it.”

There’s obviously more to it than that, or he wouldn’t be sitting here looking like he’s about to walk the plank. “But?”

“But I did find a connection. Your previous employer?—”

“Mr. Remington?”

His lips thin. “Yes. He visited the same site. On numerous occasions.”

My lungs seize. “And?”

Matt glances at Rhiannon, and they exchange a quick look. Then he turns back to me and says, “That’s where we went last night. To his estate. I didn’t want to tell you before in case it turned out to be nothing.”

My thoughts are scattered. Fractured. My boss? Involved? How?

“We wanted to see if there was anything suspicious,” Matt explains. “Going in, we knew it could be a coincidence. But—” He stops. Exhales. “There’s no easy way to say this, Isla. I searched the guest house. There were cameras hidden in there.”

“What?”

“In the bedroom. And the bathroom.”

It feels like I’ve been kicked in the chest. In a whisper, I ask, “Someone was watching me?”

Matt nods, looking equal parts furious and miserable. “Unfortunately, yes. And I found the videos. All of them.”

“Videos?”

“From when you moved in until right before Remington’s death. Every day. Night. But I focused on the ones around the time you became pregnant.”

Gray spots edge into my vision. Breathing seems an impossibility. On a wheeze, I manage to squeeze out, “And what did you see?”

As Matt meets my gaze, I can see just how angry he is. How he’s struggling to keep his fury from exploding. “You weren’t… no one touched you. Not like that. I spent hours looking through all the videos to make sure.”

“But something happened.”

“A man came into your room about fourteen weeks ago. You were passed out on the bed. When you first went in there, you looked like you were drunk. Or drugged. And he—he impregnated you.”

“What?”

“With a special syringe. I looked it up last night. They’re used for at-home insemination. So I’m pretty sure that’s how it happened. He didn’t do anything else after that. And I didn’t see anything else in the days after.”

What?

My body goes hot, then cold.

A wave of dizziness sweeps through me.

My lungs don’t seem to want to work.

How is this possible?

“I’m so sorry, Isles.” Matt’s warm hands engulf my cold ones. “We’re going to find the people behind this. I promise.”

Rhiannon and Sarah close in around me, their worry a visible thing.

“But—” A shudder shakes my body. “How? I never got drunk like that. I would remember something like that. I would .”

“I know.” Matt’s voice is low and soothing. “It’s very possible you were drugged. It wouldn’t have been that difficult for someone to break in and put something in your food. Or?—”

“But I was on birth control,” I blurt, my eyes stinging with tears. “I always took it. Always.”

Rhiannon jumps in. “We’ll want to test all your medications. Supplements. Anything you were taking back then.”

“I know this isn’t what you wanted to hear,” Matt says. “But we have a solid lead now. A name. From here, I can—” He pauses. “Oh, honey. Don’t cry.”

“I’m not.”

I am. Hot tears are searing my cheeks.

“It’s okay,” Sarah says quietly. “Crying is normal.”

“Of course,” Matt agrees. “I’m sorry. Of course it is. However you feel is okay.”

Sarah touches my knee. “Whatever you want to do is fine. If you want to talk, or just sit, watch TV, anything. We’re here for you.”

As I look at Matt and Rhiannon and Sarah, all three of them watching me with such concern and compassion, a flicker of warmth melts away some of the ice encasing me. The numbness fades a little. The dizziness clears.

I don’t know how to handle what Matt just told me.

But I have three people sitting here who care about me. Friends. Possibly even a boyfriend.

I’m not alone in this.

“Anything you want,” Matt says. Anger still narrows his gaze, but there’s something softer in his eyes as he looks at me. “Anything you need. If I can get it for you, if I can make it happen, anything in my power, I’ll do it for you.”

What do I want?

Sniffing back tears, I lean into his side, my head sagging onto his shoulder. And I say the first thing that comes to mind. “Will you hold me?”

Matt stiffens, and for a second, I think he’s about to say no. Then he carefully gathers me into his arms and lifts me onto his lap. One hand strokes down the length of my hair. “Of course. Always.”

And out of everything wrong in this screwed up situation, this feels right.

In Matt’s embrace, things don’t feel as overwhelming. My pressure on my chest lifts. The chills shaking my body subside.

I tuck my head under his chin and close my eyes, letting his warmth seep into me. I breathe in his citrusy scent and concentrate on the rapid thud of his heart. On the small circles he’s making on my back.

I’m not sure how much time passes, five minutes or five hours, but through it, Matt is my constant. He keeps rubbing my back and running his fingers through my hair and pressing soft kisses to the top of my head. And every so often, he murmurs, “It’s going to be okay. I’ve got you.”

When I finally lift my head back up, I realize Rhiannon and Sarah are gone. Blinking in surprise, I ask stupidly, “Where did they go?”

Duh. They left. After I hibernated in Matt’s lap.

“They both left about fifteen minutes ago. But they’ll be back to check on you later.” Matt inspects my face. “How are you feeling?”

“I… I’m not sure.”

Matt turns me on his lap and brushes a light kiss across my forehead. “That’s okay. You don’t have to know yet. But Sarah said she could set you up with a counselor if you want. Whenever you want.”

A counselor probably wouldn’t be a terrible idea.

But right now, being with Matt is all I need.

“I’m not sure how to feel,” I explain. “There are so many emotions spinning around. Like I’m caught in a hurricane. And you?—”

“And me?”

“You’re the eye in the storm.”

Matt blinks. Swallows hard. “Oh, Isla.”

“Does that make sense?”

His lips touch my forehead again. “It does. And just so you know. I will always be here to protect you. To be your shelter.”

My nose prickles. I bury my face in his neck again until I trust myself to speak. “I guess… now that it’s sinking in. It’s not all bad.”

Surprise jolts Matt’s face. “It’s not?”

“I mean, there’s a lot of bad stuff.” Pausing, I try to turn my jumbled thoughts into coherent sentences. “The people coming after me is terrible. And what happened at the guest house… it still doesn’t feel real. But now I know. And it’s not as bad as I feared.”

His hand stills on my back. In a careful tone, he asks, “How so?”

Lifting my head, I meet his solemn gaze. “First, because I was worried I made it up in my head, like the police said. That the whole pregnancy thing was a subconscious denial of the truth, that I did this to myself and didn’t want to admit it.”

A fierce expression moves across Matt’s face. “I never thought that.”

“But I worried. And if it was the truth, like I thought… I’m not stupid, Matt. I knew what the most likely explanation was. That someone assaulted me. I didn’t want to think about it, but how could I not?”

“Someone did assault you, Isla. They drugged you. Touched you. They did a damned medical procedure on you. None of those things are okay.”

“I know they’re not. And I feel weird and icky about it. Sarah’s right, I should talk to a counselor. I probably should have already.”

“I’ll get you set up with the best one today.”

“It doesn’t need to be today. But soon would be good.” I lean against Matt, resting my head on his shoulder again. “I guess I’m just trying to focus on the good things right now.”

“Like what?”

“Having an answer. Knowing I’m not crazy. Knowing how it happened.” My fingers twist into his shirt as I continue, “I love this baby. So that’s a good thing. And you.”

“And me?”

“Yes. You. My silver lining. My eye in the storm.” My lips press to the soft skin of his neck. “Some truly awful stuff happened to me. Really crazy, terrible stuff. But I also found you. And I’m so grateful I did.”

Matt’s chest rises and falls. His arms tighten around me, not painfully but protectively. His voice goes thick. “Oh, Isles. I’m so grateful I found you, too.”